12
10 Years and 1 day later
New York City – November, 2014
All of you that left me reviews within the last 35 seconds, I felt so bad for leaving you all hanging. I was going to make y'all wait until Monday but I can't do it. Y'all are just too good to me with those reviews. So here your bonus chapter a couple of days early. Yes, I was going to give you a bonus chapter but it wasn't going to be until Saturday but guilt got the better of me.
Here it is. Your bonus chapter a couple of days early. I hope that y'all enjoy.
A/N: I hope that I got all of the errors. If I didn't please let me know. I've probably skipped so many of them because I've re-read and re-read and I'm overlooking them. Please let me know or point them out. I've gone word blind.
At first I thought that I was dreaming but no matter what I did in my so-called dream, the incessant squalling of the alarm clock would not stop. It got louder and louder. That gave me the unwanted clue that the noise was real. I popped open one eye and looked at my sworn enemy with contempt and hate. Was it at all conceivable for me to get just one more hour of sleep? The deafening noises of the horns of the passing cars and the people bustling on the streets of New York let me know that an extra ten minutes let alone an hour, was not at all possible. Not today.
With big, bright pink neon numbers, the clock flashed 7:15 over and over again. Even when I closed my eyes, I could see the numbers 7:15. I wanted to scream but held my breath to keep myself from doing so. The noise outside was just as loud as my alarm clock. The noises made me wish that I had never moved here (which I think every single morning but wouldn't give it up for the world). Even if I did go back to Bon Temps, I wouldn't stay very long. I have no reason to go back. Pam and Amelia have moved here … together.
It's a long story but the jest of it is that Amelia dumped Jason for Pam. They'd been sneaking around for a while; since graduation weekend as a matter of fact. It seems that she and Amelia had an even more mind blowing weekend than Eric and I had. Anyway, Jason was mad for all of ten minutes. He wasn't mad that Amelia had cheated on him. He said that he knew that things hadn't been good with them in quite a while. Long before she started sleeping with Pam. The only gripe that he had was that he wasn't asked to join them but ultimately he got over it and moved on.
After all's said and done, Jason was an adult about what happened. He stayed in Bon Temps with his wife, Michele, AND children. I love my brother but we've never been so close to the point that I would do anything to stay in the same town as he. If my grandparents were still around, I probably would have given a little more thought to moving back to Bon Temps. Gran and Gran'pa died a couple of years ago. Gran'pa died first.
He had brain cancer. It was hard on Gran. She did the best that she could on her own. She was his wife, nurse, and whatever else needed during that time. She did what she had to do. That's what she's always done and I never expected anything less from her but she couldn't do but so much. It was finally beginning to take its toll on her. And worst of all, she knew that taking care of grandpa was wearing her out. And it broke her heart.
Things got so hard that she could no longer do it on her own. After some time, she's finally decided to call and tell me that she'd made a decision. Not because she needed my help but because she was going to do something that she knew she couldn't hide from me. She called me and said that she wanted to let me know before she did it but she was going to sale the house to De Castro Realty Company. Felipe De Castro, some realtor scoping out properties in Bon Temps, offered her more money than what the house was worth and she needed the money to pay for Gran'pa's hospital bills.
"You kids have your own lives now. I know that neither of you want to move back here. God knows that I can't keep up with the house on my own. I stay at the hospital most of the time anyway. It's time for me to let it go." I could hear the pain and heartache in her voice. "I have no choice. I can't do it anymore."
I told her that she couldn't do that. "That house has been in our family for over 150 years. That is our home regardless of where we live. You are not going to sale it. We are family, Gran and if you need anything, you only have to tell me," I said. "I love you and Gran'pa. I'll do anything for you. Don't be so prideful, Gran. If you need me, tell me and I am there for you. You know that. I'm going to request some time off of work and I'll be home tomorrow."
"You'll do no such thing." Gran said that she was more than capable of taking care of her husband. She said that she had the medical bills to pay and she was selling the house. "It's too big for me and I've already talked it over with Mitchell. He doesn't want to sell it but he knows that we have to do it. He doesn't want me saddled with his bills after he passes on. So, until things are settled, I'll move in with Jason so that I will be closer to my husband. The hospital's only ten minutes away from Jason's house. It'll be easier for me. It's what we have to do. This has to be done, Sookie. I don't want any more arguing from you."
Well, that was just too bad because that's what she was going to get. "Gran, I've always respected you but you will listen to reason and you will listen to me. You will do no such thing. You are not selling your home," I said to her. I was more than an able to help her and I told her that no matter how she tried to complain, I was going to do it. "I'm coming home, Gran, and I am going to help you and you're going to take it."
She said that she didn't want her grandchildren taking care of her. "I don't need charity, Sookie."
I begged her to just let me help. "It's not charity if you're family, Gran. I make more than enough money and I want to do this for you. You would do it for me without giving it a second thought. You loved me and Jason enough to take us in and raise us as your own. You gave us a home. You loved us and cared for us. There is no way that I'm going to sit by and let you lose what you and Gran'pa have worked so hard to have. It's your home, Gran. Please, let me do what I can to make sure that you keep yours. You'd do it for me. Let me do it for you."
She agreed to me only helping just a little but I had other plans.
When my Gran fell for my magnificent charms, I was able to talk her into keeping the house in the family. I was determined to help her. She was not going to go through this alone. She needed me whether she knew it or not. I took some time off from work and moved back home for awhile and did what any good granddaughter would do. I took care of them. The day that I went home, I went behind Gran's back and paid off Gran'pa's medical bills. She didn't need to worry about anything. She'd already been through enough.
The second goal on my agenda was to get Gran'pa home. Gran said that he wanted to come home but the doctors wouldn't release him. She said that they told her that he needed around the clock care and he couldn't get that at home. They were wrong. Pam took care of that. She went to the hospital and threatened them with every high powered attorney she could think of. She told them that they had no right to hold him against his will. She gave them an hour to release him or else hell would come to Bon Temps and it would not be pretty. And hell's name was Johan Glassport … the most ruthless and domineering attorney in Louisiana. They released Gran'pa to me within fifteen minutes and I was able to bring him home. Pam hired nurses to come in and take care of grandpa. There was now no reason for them to keep him at the hospital. He could go home now.
That's where he wanted to be and that's where he was going to go. He was in high spirits as soon as we reached Hummingbird Lane. He said that he needed to be with his family and not in some dang hospital. He didn't like being in the hospital and he didn't like having strangers stare at his 'hind parts'. "That was meant only for Adele," he'd say to anyone that would listen. "Perverts, I tell ya. The whole bunch of 'em."
I did all that could not to laugh though I failed miserably.
Gran would smile as she sat by his bed and held onto his hand. She never once left his side.
Maxine Fortenberry and Charlsie Tooten would come over and try to get her to go out for lunch but she would always so no. "I have to be here just in case Mitchell needs me. Now, you old biddies go on home and if I need you, I'll be sure to call you."
When they would leave, she'd be madder 'n a wet hen. She was offended that they would even think that she was going to leave his side for the chicken salad lunch special at the local bar and grill. After so long, they stopped asking her. She didn't care. Her husband was home and there was no way she was leaving his side. "What if he dies while I'm gone?" she'd ask with her eyes filled with tears. "I'd never forgive myself. I can't do it. I just can't. He's my first and only love, Sookie."
I knew just how she felt. First love is everything. You never get over your first love. I looked at her and smiled. "I understand, Gran. You don't have to leave him. If they call of come by again, I'll sic Pam on them."
That got a smile from her. And it was beautiful.
For three months, his spirits were lifted. His health wasn't getting any better but he didn't care. He was at home. He was with his wife and he was happy. He was talking and laughing. He was even accepting company on his good days; which were few and far between as time went on.
Towards the end though, things began to change. He was no longer in his right mind. There would be days that he proposed to Gran as if they were fifteen again. She told him she'd marry him a million times over. That last day was no different. He and Gran talked into the early morning.
On his last day, he told her that they didn't have much time. "I'm going to be saying good-bye to my favorite girl pretty soon." Tears sprang into his eyes as he said, "I'm gone miss you, my sweet Adele."
She rested her head on his chest and cried that day. She locked herself in that room with Gran'pa for the rest of the day. She wouldn't let anyone else in there with them. They talked about walking along the beach and going to the rose gardens. They talked about the honeymoon that they'd never had but always wanted. They'd even planned on going to Hawaii next year for Gran's birthday. I'd even bought the tickets for them. Sadly, their plans changed and the tickets went to Jason and Michele.
"You're the love of my life," was the last thing he said. He died in his sleep with Gran by his side and holding his hand.
Not a month later, Gran was gone too. Doctors said that there was no medical reason because she was as healthy as a horse. I knew what it was. We all knew what it was; her family, I mean. We knew why she was gone. She'd died of a broken heart. She'd been with my gran'pa for over sixty years. She'd never spent a day without him. The day that he died, she died with him. Her eyes no longer smiled. She'd barely talked to any of us. Not even hugs and kisses from her grandchildren could make up for the loss of her husband. Life just wasn't worth living for her anymore. She just went through the motions.
"I can't do this, Sookie."
Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. She'd cried every single night during the last month. She wore his wedding ring atop hers. She slept in his pajamas. She slept on his pillow. She held his picture to her chest every night when she went to bed. She kissed his picture every night before she fell asleep. She kissed it every morning when she woke up.
She looked around the room and said, "Everything reminds me of Mitchell. He was my life, Sookie." She looked out into space and shook her head. "I've never been without him. Every day of my life was spent at that man's side. Holding his hand. Laughing at his stupid jokes. Loving him with all of my heart. Everything that I am was him. And that's how it was supposed to be. I've never been with him," she repeated. "I don't know how to live without him." She looked as if she was lost when she said that. "I don't know if I can."
I kissed and hugged her. "We'll get through this, Gran. As long as we have each other, we'll get through this. Okay?" I could tell that she was giving up and it was killing me inside because there was nothing that I could do about it. "We need for you to be okay. What are we supposed to do without you? This family would fall apart; especially Jason. He can barely feed himself without you telling him which one is the fork and which one is the spoon."
She almost smiled but caught herself.
"And you've always said that family can make things better." I looked into her eyes and nodded. "And my gran always speaks the truth. We can get through this together. This time is no different. You have to let us help you to make things better. And we can do that. You're going to make it. Okay?" I said.
She kissed me and said, "Goodnight, Sookie. I do love you."
She didn't wake up the next morning.
My grandparents had the biggest funerals that the people of Bon Temps ever did see. Everyone came to bid them farewell. The streets were lined with cars and every seat in the church and cemetery were filled. People were even standing so that they could say their goodbyes. It was a sight to see. My grandparents would've loved to have seen how much they are loved and will be missed by their friends and neighbors. Eric was there … sort of. He was on a business trip in Japan and couldn't be there so he sent bunches and bunches of flowers. He sent Jason a card giving us his condolences.
"You want to read it?" Jason asked.
I shook my head no.
"He asks about you all of the time, Sookie," he said. "I know that me and Eric ain't never been real close friends but I hate lying to him. Why don't you try again? Maybe it'll work out this time. I know that you still love him."
I ignored him and tended to my Gran's guests.
Anyway, I still have the house and I still didn't sell it to Mr. De Castro. I use it as a rental property but only to those that are close family friends. Lafayette Reynolds and his lover, Jesus Mendoza, they are the only ones that I trust enough to keep the house in the condition that Gran and Gran'pa would want to keep it in. They pay Jason the rent since he and his family can use the extra money. The only thing that I ask is that Lafayette and Jesus keep the house in excellent condition and pay the taxes. Once they'd agreed and signed the lease, I made the necessary renovations to the property and I went back to my job in New York. And ta-da … here I am.
Sluggishly, I got up from the bed and made my way to the kitchen. After I'd turned on the coffee pot, I leaned against the countertop and listened as the coffee dripped. I closed my eyes and inhaled that sweet aroma. The drips drowned out the sounds of the busy streets.
When the last of the drips of coffee fell, I went to the cabinet and retrieved my favorite mug. I'd poured a big cup of coffee and I sat down and let the steam and the scent of the coffee wash over my face. There's nothing like a full cup of black coffee to wake you up first thing in the morning … unless it's a hot shower. I looked at the clock on the microwave and knew that I'd better hurry and get in the shower before Flynn woke up.
I let the hot water run over my face as I enjoyed the sensations as the beads of water beat against my body. It felt so good to be able to be the first one in the shower. I enjoy my alone time. I relish it.
After fifteen minutes of pampering myself, I knew that I had to get out. I have a big day ahead of me. After washing my hair, I blindly groped for my towel. When I found it, I dried my face and wrapped the towel around my wet head and used the other towel to cover my body. Once I'd wiped the steam from the mirror, I brushed my teeth and applied the Olay daily cream to my face. When you're almost thirty, you have to use every cream you can think of to keep the wrinkles at bay.
After going to my room and drying my hair, I could hear Flynn leaving her room as she went into her bathroom to take her shower. She'll be in there for at least thirty minutes. Maybe I should've awakened her earlier this morning. We are going to be late and today, I can't be late. I hurriedly began to prepare for my day.
We have a meeting with the new owner of E&S & Associates. Ms. Einin Greenbrier, my boss, wanted to me to dress to impress. "We have to show them that we cannot only make this company a success. We have to show that we, ourselves, are a success. I expect everyone to look their very best tomorrow when the new owner arrives. Any slackers and tomorrow will be your last day."
If that was what she wanted, then that is what I was going to give her. Once I was dressed, I looked in the mirror and admired my professional look. My hair was in loose waves and fell over my shoulders. The olive green pantsuit with the beige silk blouse was the right choice. High heeled beige shoes completed my ensemble.
"You look pretty damned hot, Sookie," I said to my reflection. I then said my daily mantra. "Today is going to be a wonderful and perfect day. There is nothing that you can't handle. You are the best at what you do and no one is or will ever be better than you are. This is your world. Everyone else just lives in it."
"Talking to yourself again, mom?" Flynn asked.
"As a matter of fact, I am not," I said. "I'm talking to my reflection."
I turned to see my daughter standing there looking at me with a wide eyed grin on her face. Her hair is blonder than mine and her eyes are the bluest eyes I've ever had the pleasure of looking in. She looks just like her dad. She's only nine years old and she's almost as tall as I am. She's as smart as a whip and she's the joy of my life. I'm just glad that Gran and Gran'pa got to know her before they left this world. She was blessed to have known them even if it was for just a short time.
"You do look pretty hot," she said as her blonde head bobbed up and down; her bangs falling into her eyes. Whenever she smiles, I see him. When she cocks her head at a certain angle, she could pass for his twin. Her laugh is just like his. The way she looks at me when she's happy reminds me of him. Everything about her reminds me of Eric.
"Why thank you, little lady. Now, aren't you going to get dressed for school? I have to get to work early today. I can't be late." I reached over on my vanity and grabbed my lipstick. As I applied my lipstick, I looked at my daughter through the mirror and said, "We have to meet the dreaded new boss today."
Flynn threw herself across my bed and said, "I told you that we don't have school today, mom. I told you on Monday that Friday is parent/teacher day. And I told you again last night while we were eating dinner … remember? Pam is picking me up this morning. We're going to the museum."
While Flynn chattered away, I went back to last night's dinner and replayed our conversation. She did tell me. She said that today was teacher/parent day. I have to meet with her teacher tonight. Damn; I should've listened a little closer to what she was saying.
"Is it okay if I stay the night?" she asked.
"What did you say, sweetie?"
She sighed as she put her feet on the headboard of my bed. "See, I told ya. You never listen to me. I asked if I can stay with Pam since Amelia had to go to New Orleans to visit her dad. Pam wanted to know if I could stay with her and keep her company."
I walked over to the bed and brushed Flynn's bangs from her forehead and kissed it. "I'm sorry for not listening. There ain't no excuse for it. And yes you can stay the night with Pam; even though I'll be here all alone." I stuck my bottom lip out and pouted. "I don't mind though … eating tuna salad … drinking lukewarm water because my child didn't put it in the fridge like I asked her to …" I placed the back of my hand to my forehead and pretended to faint.
Flynn kissed me and jumped up from the bed. "Thanks, mom," she yelled as she cut around the corner. "I'm going to call Pam." I heard the door to her bedroom slam shut.
"I fainted ya know!" I yelled after her.
"You can't faint standing up, mom." Her voice was muffled because of the closed door.
"Smarty pants," I yelled.
She didn't answer so I knew that she was already on the phone with Pam.
After smoothing my hair down in the back and taking another quick glance in the mirror, I went to my office and grabbed my briefcase. As I was closing the office door behind me, I heard the front door to the apartment open.
"Sookie," Grace yelled from the living room.
I smiled at her as I entered the living room. "Hey, Grace. How's it going?"
Grace Ramirez is an older lady and she's one of the sweetest people I've met since I've been in New York. She's from Puerto Rico. She owns the cleaning company that the apartment complex exclusively uses. She retired years ago and her son runs it now. He told me that she was tired of sitting at home with nothing to do so she'd come in and clean. He asked me if I'd mind letting her clean my apartment. I told him that I would love to help her out.
I'd met her a few times and she is a grandmother. I was glad to offer her the job of sitting with Flynn and cleaning my already obsessively clean apartment. She is crazy about Flynn and Flynn is just as crazy for her. She's only supposed to come over in the evenings but she always comes before I leave for work. She likes to see Flynn off to school. She's been teaching her Spanish and Spanish cooking. Grace has been an excellent addition to Flynn's life.
"Your haircut is fierce, Grace." As I picked my cell and purse up from the entry table, I asked, "Does someone have a date tonight?" I winked at her as I waggled my eyebrows at her. "I'll bet that someone has a big date tonight."
Grace was as embarrassed as I've ever seen her. It brought her joy when I teased her. She said that my country girl accent made my teasing even funnier. She said that she couldn't wait to visit Louisiana so that she could hear if everyone sounds like me.
"You are a bad girl, Sookie. You know I am married."
She's not. She's been divorced for seven years but she thinks that her husband is coming back to her. Even though he's getting married to his new girlfriend this month, she firmly believes that he's coming back to her. She said that he promised her that he would always be there for her and she believed him. She still believes him. She almost reminds me of me.
I shook my head at her as I put on my coat. "I can't believe you said that, Grace. I'm a bad girl? No one has ever called me a bad girl."
She continued to giggle.
"Oh, and Flynn doesn't have school today and Pam's coming to pick her up sometime this morning. Will you make sure that she eats before she goes? Pam is forever filling my child up with junk food. Donuts are not a healthy meal."
Grace looked sad when she heard that Flynn wasn't going to be here today. She hates being at home alone. She says that it reminds her of her husband.
"You can stay here for the day if you'd like. Flynn and I went out last night and bought some new movies. They're in the living room," I told her. "I think that you'll like a couple of them. Stay here for as long as you want. We love having you here."
"Thank you," she said with a smile as she went into the kitchen.
I called downstairs to the lobby to have my car brought around. When I was finally leaving for work, I called out to Grace. "I have a surprise for you in the kitchen; bottom shelf of fridge. Have a good day."
When Flynn and I were on our way home from the movies last night, we stopped at Heavenly Cheesecakes and got Grace a half blueberry/half strawberry cheesecake; her favorite. The blueberry half of it will probably be gone by the time I get home.
When the door closed behind me, I heard her screaming, "!Oh dios mio!" I was wrong. There will be no cheesecake left when I get home tonight.
When I stepped from the elevator, I said my good mornings to the staff as I walked through the lobby of the apartment building. "Good morning, Miss. Stackhouse," Henry said as he held the door open for me.
"Good morning, Henry. How's the family?" I asked as he followed me to my car.
Allen, the valet, and I said good morning to each other as he handed me my keys. He kept going. Henry doesn't know what that means. He loves to talk. I knew that I couldn't talk with Henry for very long. He would make me late for work. So without hesitation, I walked around to the driver's side and opened the door.
"Everyone's great, Miss. Stackhouse. Thanks for asking," he said.
When I saw him inhale, I knew that he was about to get started. I threw my hand up and waved, "Well, I'll see you this evening, Henry. Don't work too hard." I got in and slammed the car door.
I hated to be rude but once Henry gets going, it's pretty hard to get him to stop. He doesn't mean to be a motor mouth but he says that no other tenant speaks to the employees as I do. He said that I treat them, the employees, as if they are just as important as I am. I always tell him that they are just as important as I am; if not more. Everyone that works here thinks that I'm the nicest person they've ever come across. Even some of the most hardened New Yorkers have softened to my great southern charms. The chocolate chip cookies that I bake for them on alternating Saturdays always put them in the best moods. They especially love the apple walnut cake and the peanut butter cookies as well. It's that southern part of me. Gran would be proud.
Ms. Greenbrier says that my southern-ness is the reason she wants me in all of her meetings when we're getting new clients. Like today, we have to meet with the new boss. I was going to go above and beyond and impress him with my charming ways and my outstanding wit. I was going give him a blinding and devastatingly beautiful smile. I am bound and determined to wrap him around my little finger. That's the plan.
Well, it was the plan.
I should've watched the morning traffic news. I looked at my clock and realized that I was going to be late but it didn't really matter. Einin didn't really say too much to me. I'd only worked for CAPRA, well E&S now, for six years, including my internship, and I was promoted to junior partner last year. Some people tried to say that because I was Einin's favorite girl, I got the promotion. They knew that it wasn't true when it left their mouths. They knew that my hard work and dedication was what got me that promotion. Working those long hours is what did it for me. That rumor died almost as quickly as it started. Einin made sure of that.
When I was first hired on, Gran and Gran'pa were proud of me. Pam was even prouder. She wanted to spread the word but thankfully I talked her out of it. It made me feel great that I was handling cases that most twenty-eight year olds only dream of. I love my job and I love most of the people that work for the company. I couldn't have asked for a better job. Shoot, I couldn't have asked for a better life; a life that I never expected to have.
After Mr. Northman sent Eric away, I didn't go to Brown. I decided to go somewhere completely different; especially after Eric couldn't come with me. It would've been too hard. So, I took my free ride elsewhere. I went to NYU instead and studied business law. I left a month before school started so that I could get settled in. Only my grandparents, Jason, Pam and Amelia knew where I was. They told NO ONE; not even Eric … not that he asked or called.
Well, he could've. He used to call but I've cut all ties. Things have happened that we can't take back. It was easier that way. Things didn't go as planned and that's that. We've both moved on and that's just the way it is. Life changes and you have to change right along with it. No matter how hard it is. No matter how much it hurts. You don't have too much of a choice if you really think about it.
As I continued to inch forward in the slow moving traffic, my mind went from the house in Bon Temps to the former relationship of Eric Northman and Sookie Stackhouse and to Alcide Herveaux.
He's the new man in my life. We've dated off and on for a few years but I've never gotten serious with him. He's a great guy and all but he doesn't have that certain umph that I want. He has beautiful chocolate brown eyes and a sexy smile. He's muscular and strong, self-sufficient, and successful. He's caring and he's crazy about Flynn. Shoot, he loves her and he also loves me. Very much. He would make any woman a great boyfriend. Hell, he'd make a great husband; just not for me. If I'm going to be honest, I've never really given him much of a chance.
Pam said that I needed to stop comparing everyone to Eric. "Everyone isn't going to be like him, Sookie. You're never going to be happy until you allow yourself to be happy. You can't keep on living for him when he's not living for you. You can't do that to yourself and you can't do that to Flynn. I know that you want that love story but it's over. You have to let it go and let yourself be happy. It kills me to see you doing this to yourself."
I said that I don't do that. "It's not my fault that Eddie was too short. It's not my fault that Andrew is too old. It's not my fault that Ethan is too young and going bald. I have a full head of hair. Why can't he? And I am happy. I have my daughter, you and Amelia and my mind blowing career. I don't need a balding man to keep me on my toes. I can do that all by myself."
Pam rolled her eyes. "Your criticisms are a way for you to stay by yourself," she said with conviction; loud and obnoxious conviction. Did I mention that it was also truthful?
I knew that she was speaking the truth but I ignored her. I didn't think that any of the men were good enough to meet my child; except for Alcide. He was great with his nieces and nephews. As time went on, I did bring him around Flynn. He has become a fixture in our lives and he's good for her. He's there for her school plays, and piano recitals. He's there when I need someone to come to take her trick or treating when I work late or if Pam can't pick her up from her recitals. He's good to her and to me but there have been issues; nothing too major but issues just the same.
One day he walked with Grace and Flynn to school. One of Flynn's friends asked her if Alcide was her daddy. She looked up at him and asked, "Are you?" She was four years old.
He shook his head no but said that he was a very good friend of her mommy's and he would always be around if she or her mommy needs him. "I'll be around for as long as you and your mom need me."
She said okay and for a few hours, she was okay with that answer. She hugged his waist and took off running into to the school with her friend.
When I picked her up that day, she asked me why she didn't have a daddy like Emma and Cori. "Their daddies always come to the school. My daddy doesn't come to school. Doesn't he want me to meet me?"
I knew that the day was coming so I told her all about him that night when we got home. I told her that her daddy was far away in another country working and as soon as he could get away he would be here to see her. "Who wouldn't want to meet a beautiful, little girl like you?"
Her eyes were large when I said that he was in another country. "Where is he?"
"Sweden," I said. "That's where his homeland is."
"Wow," she said. "That's almost where Gran and Gran'pa live. We need to send him an invitation to my birthday party. I want him to come. Wow," she said again. "My daddy lives in Sweden. Can we send him an invitation to my party, mom?"
"If you want," I said. "Is that what you want?"
"Yep," she said as she nodded her head.
"Done," I said. Flynn wrote out the invitation. I stamped it and mailed it to him that night.
For the rest of the night, she kept saying wow as she thought of her dad being in Sweden and he was coming to her birthday party. Needless to say, he never showed up.
I watched my daughter's face as she looked out of the living room window and at the falling rain. She was devastated so I had to do something. I sent an email from work to my home computer. I printed it out for her and told her that it was from him. I gave her this story about it being too snowy and the planes not leaving in time for him to get here for her party. He apologized for the way his businesses kept him too busy but he loves and he always will. He promised to come and see her as soon as he could.
Luckily, she bought it. She held the letter to her little heart and sighed. "Mom, he wanted to come but the snow kept him away. He promised to see me soon. And I believe him, mom. He's going to come." She ran off to her room with her letter and closed her door.
I felt so guilty for lying to her but also because it's kind of my fault that he's not here with her. I never really got the chance to tell him about her. God knows I wanted him to know about her. I really did. I guess I should've tried a little harder and maybe things would be different. Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda but it didn't happen. It's a long story and no one really knows about it but me and Pam.
Anyway, Gran begged me to tell him. She said that Eric has a right to know his child. "He's going to be mighty upset if he learns about her from someone other than you."
"I doubt it," I mumbled.
After what happened, I wasn't too sure if she was right. I felt that it was best that he went on with his life as we went on with ours. Anyway, he was probably married by now; travelling the world with his wife. A man like Eric wouldn't stay single for long. And just as I'd figured, he has gotten around.
Pam filled me in on the skinny. I guess it was her way to get out in the dating world. He's had his share of women; actresses, models, and other tall, slim beautiful women. All brunettes. Not a short, curvy, blonde in the bunch. I guess I was just a bad experience that he didn't want to remember. He's very popular in his country and here as a matter fact; well in the corporate world. Women are crazy for him. They were totally and completely different than I am. I'm not flashy and all glitzy glam like. I'm the same down home girl I've always been. I'm content with being me. And this me, the same old me from high school and Bon Temps, wouldn't be good enough for him. Eric's different than when I knew him.
He is extremely successful and he runs with a totally different crowd now. His dad was right. I don't fit into that world. I never will fit it. Anyway, he is better off without me. Don't get me wrong. I love him. I always will but …
In only a matter of minutes, I'd almost ruined my day. I turned on the radio and the song that makes me happy was playing, 'One Step at a Time'. I started to sing and felt better almost instantly. I looked over at the car beside me and the chauffeur was watching me and smiling. I waved and continued to sing as the traffic moved on.
"One step at time, there's no need to rush …" I made it all the way to work happy; late but happy.