I know you've all been waiting for an update so here it is! And guys, just because I haven't written in over a month does not mean I've given up on the story. I just need time and inspiration.
This chapter is dedicated to the victims of the 7.2 magnitude earthquake in the Philippines, last October 15, 2013. Please pray for them and if you can, send donations to help.
Thank you to all those who left reviews and faves! I hope you like chapter 17!
Disclaimer: I've said all I can about that.
The walk back home was irritatingly silent. Neither one of us was in the best of moods after what had happened.
For me, the whole experience felt too reminiscent of the abuse I had gone through and it left me trembling long after it ended.
Loki did not notice or if he did, made no comment about it. I did not want to make it obvious anyway. I had to learn to recover from the trauma as well as not to add to Loki's problems.
Surprisingly, it seemed like he was taking it worse than I was. He barely made a sound except for his footsteps and kept his distance the rest of the day.
I realized that he and I had a thing in common whenever we were in a bad mood. We both would brood for hours.
I did not push him to speak or anything though. He put up with me last time, so it was only fair that I gave him his space as well.
Still, it was really disappointing. Things had just begun to get better between us and suddenly it was ruined by the incident.
To clear my mind, I tried to do as many chores as I could. I hoped it could at distract me for at least an hour or so.
However, no amount of cleaning and laundering could take away the fear and guilt in me. The events continued to replay in my head no matter what I did.
"Just grab what you can. The owner's busy. He won't notice anything." An unfamiliar male voice said.
Another one responded, "I guess not, but there's a chick over there. She might say something."
Realizing he was talking about me, I continued to feel through the items on the shelf to appear as if I did not even notice them.
The first man seemed to have moved closer when he told his companion, "Her? Please! She's blind! I saw her when we came in. She's worthless."
I still made no move. From what I understood, they were shoplifters who knew that Brian was distracted by his conversation with Loki. That kind of plan was a bit too similar to the ones I had taken part of when I was still with that gang.
I knew had to inform Brian of what was going on, but I had to do it without alerting the two men. After waiting for a couple of minutes, I decided to walk away from the aisle as normally as I could.
I had just made a few steps when I accidentally stepped on the foot of one of the thieves.
He yelped a bit before he grabbed my wrist and slammed me against a shelf. The impact had knocked down a bottle which shattered on the floor, frightening me even more.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, bitch?" the man yelled into my face.
His companion came next, threatening me as well. "Trying to rat us out?"
Rather than answering, I tried to wriggle out of his hold. The two continued to shout profanities while I attempted to get away.
In my helplessness, I could only hold back my tears while hoping someone would notice and help me. Thankfully, it did not take long for my wish to be granted.
"I don't think it's polite to harass a woman, especially when she has not done anything wrong." Said a voice I recognized to be Loki's.
Obviously irritated, the man who was not holding me, shouted. "Get lost! This is between us and-"
For some reason, he suddenly stopped. Though confused as to what happened, I continued to listen.
"I will not say this again. Release the girl and leave. There is no need for violence here." Loki sternly said.
There was an intense silence that went on for a few seconds before being broken by the sound of a sharp item slicing the air and a yell.
"I ain't afraid of some-!" A grunt stopped his statement followed by the sound of something hitting the ground.
Not knowing who or what had caused it, I worried for Loki.
At that moment, the other man threw me in a direction opposite the noise of the commotion. Just as I was regaining my balance, two hands held my shoulders. I was about to panic until I heard him speak.
"Are you alright?" I recognized him to be Brian.
"What's going on?" I asked, while trying not to sound too shaken.
He calmly replied, "Your friend, Luke is dealing with those men."
I was not satisfied with that answer. I had no idea whether Loki could fight or not. Even if he was capable of defending himself, he was badly injured not too long ago. He might not be well enough.
I could hear grunts but nothing else that made sense to someone who could not see.
"Is he ok?" I was forced to ask.
He assured me "Don't worry. He's not even getting hit."
I suddenly heard a piercing scream. Panicked, I turned to Brian. "What happened? Who was that?"
"Looks like he tried to punch Luke. And he broke his hand, in the process." Brian said, sounding like an entertained spectator of a boxing match.
In disbelief and slight amusement, I asked, "Seriously?"
"Ooh! And he just broke the other one." Brian added.
The mere idea of such a situation would have been hilarious if it was not actually happening before me. This, however, was serious and was no laughing matter.
The next sounds were unclear but then one of the men said, "What are you? Some kind of monster?"
That was when I heard choking and gurgling.
Brian explained to me what Loki was doing. The disturbing sound went on for several seconds. Knowing that it was not something that can be let alone, I tried to call out to Loki.
"Stop it."
The noises continued, so I moved closer to make myself audible and to locate him as well.
"Please." I had reached him, but still could not stop him. If he would not release the man soon, there would be a murder on his hands.
Desperate to keep it from happening, I went in, grabbed him from behind and said, "That's enough."
He dropped the man immediately but I could not find the strength to let go just yet. The buildup of the stress and worry made me just want to keep holding on to something familiar and safe.
Loki had to pry my hands off gently just to make me release him.
As evening came, I made dinner for both of us and set aside Loki's share. I hoped he would come for it when he felt hungry but it was left untouched for hours after it had been prepared.
Though I allowed him to have some time to himself, I could not let him starve. I decided to take the initiative and just invite him to eat.
It took about thirty minutes of searching the house and receiving no answer when I called for him that I realized he was missing. I started to worry.
Had the incident finally pushed him to want to leave? Did he go after those men? How long has it been since he left? Why did I just realize that he's gone?
I tried to stay calm and think rationally about what could have happened. Just then, I felt wind enter the room which, come to think about it, would not normally be as strong unless the door was open.
Cautiously, I stepped out onto the porch and softly called out, "Loki?"
I heard a small hum, confirming that it was indeed him.
Sighing in relief, I tried to locate him. My hand brushed against his hair which meant he was seated on the floor or rather, the steps.
I took my place beside him and hoped he had something to say: that he wanted to be alone, or anything at all. Unfortunately, he remained silent.
His refusal to talk made me feel more like he was unhappy with me rather than the whole situation.
Gathering up some courage, I told him, "I'm sorry."
I felt him shift his position and that meant that he heard me. Relieved that I got his attention, I continued.
"I was so stupid. If I didn't try to warn Brian…"
He cut me off by asking in a slightly annoyed tone, "What are you talking about?"
I explained, "I got those guys worked up. It was my fault. I'm sorry."
"You did nothing wrong." He stated bluntly.
"But you're mad at me." I reasoned, not believing that I had no part in causing the incident.
Loki immediately countered, "Not at you." He sounded exhausted, with a hint of irritation.
"At them, then?" I asked, trying to understand what was really bothering him.
Loki still sounded mad when he said, "Those worthless fools don't even deserve my anger."
Becoming even more confused, I inquired him again. "Then what's wrong? Did they hurt you?"
I tried to feel his arms to search for any injuries but he pushed me away.
"Not in the way you think." He replied but his voice began to falter.
It was then that I remembered the moment right before Loki attacked one of the thieves.
"Monster." The word escaped my lips just as I was recalled.
Almost immediately, Loki reacted, "What did you just say?" He seemed furious, now but also a bit afraid.
I stood my ground and explained. "That's what they called you. That's what set you off, wasn't it?"
"They may have been fools but they knew what I truly am." He grimly said.
His statement surprised me. It was not because the man had insulted him but rather because Loki believed those words.
I gently placed my hand over his as I reassured him. "You don't really mean that. You are not a monster. You can't be."
Loki pulled his hand away and rebuked me. "How naïve you are. That is exactly what I am: a guiltless, hideous creature of hate and misfortune. All I am capable of is causing suffering!"
Still not moved, I honestly told him, "That's not what I see."
"Of course not! You are blind and immature. No matter how many times I would try to dissuade you of believing that fictional image of myself, you simply would not!" Loki yelled shamelessly.
He then stormed back into the house, feet stomping all the way and leaving me outside, pondering how things had turned so bad.
To say I was not affected by his words would be a lie. They stung, but I knew he only said that because he was angry. I held back the tears that were forming, knowing they were not going to fix things.
"He's a good person, but he has a dark side too. It's frightening. Be careful."
Those were the words Brian whispered to me before we left town. It seemed he was right and it coincided with what Loki just said.
Still, I also knew that there was more to him than just that. He was not perfect, but he was not entirely bad either. There was a part of him that was capable of causing pain to others, whether it was by words or by actions but it did not mean that was all he could do.
Loki honestly believed he was something terrible and maybe that was why he was always so hard on himself. Something happened to him that made him think he was a monster.
I thought back to the conversations we had in the past to see if there was an answer or at the very least, a clue.
"I HAVE NO HOME! I HAVE NO FAMILY! THEY ALL THINK I'M DEAD!"
He was always uneasy when conversations about his past came up and the subject of family was just as difficult to discuss. Loki also mentioned that he had no plan to return to wherever he came from. There was also the mystery of how he ended up injured on the ground not knowing where he was.
I began to realize the more I tried to make sense of things, the more questions came to mind. Loki had his own share of secrets and if I was to understand him completely, I had to learn more about this strange man.
When I entered house once again, I heard the couch move which meant Loki was on it. Determined not to let the night end on a terrible note, I left him one more message before heading to bed.
"Look, I know things didn't go very well today, so I don't blame you for being upset but don't believe anything those guys said. I've met real monsters and you're nothing like them. I hope someday you'll see that."
End of chapter 17
And there you have it. This is most likely going to lead into Loki's arc. That means, now it's our favorite jotun's turn to shine. This one took a while to write cuz I had no idea where to go from the last chapter but hopefully you guys liked it.
Please leave a review and leave suggestions if you have any. Maybe there's a moment you want between them or just a situation. I might consider them.
Also, if you have any criticisms, I'll be happy to hear them so I can improve.