Guess who's back! Yes, I'm here with an update! I know I've taken a long time. School, broken laptop and lack of inspiration are to blame.

Well, now that the new chapter is here, please enjoy Chapter 19!

Disclaimer: Yeah, we all know this.

Loki P.O.V.

Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to lay the truth bare before a mortal I just met. She knew exactly how to make me come clean and agree to her requests, regardless of how hard I tried to deny her of it.

I nearly decided not to go through with it, but when I glanced into Mandy's blind yet sincere eyes one more time, I knew I had to. At that I began to share to her my story.

"I am not from this realm or anywhere near it. I was born during a time of war between two races, both of which you may have only heard in myth: the Aesir, from Asgard and the Jotuns of Jotunheim."

Pausing for a moment, I turned to my companion. She might not have understood or lost interest upon hearing how absurd the tale appeared to be.

Mandy however, simply nodded and urged me to continue. It seemed that this would be easier than I thought. She was indeed open-minded about it.

"I was raised an Aesir and as a son of their king, Odin, and the younger brother of his heir, Thor.

Mandy sat up with a bit of glee and awe on her face as she asked, "You're a prince?"

With a glare, I responded. "I should be."

She was unfazed of course, but she apologized. "I'm sorry. Please go on."

I rolled my eyes at how a tiny thing already impressed her but went ahead with the tale.

"The norm of the culture was that strength was power. While I could not live up to such a standard, Thor fit the description perfectly. He had everything: fame, entitlement, respect, love. The only problem was that his vanity and immaturity got the way of his worth." Bitterness laced the last sentence.

Ironically, I could see Mandy smirking as she commented, "But you admired him, your brother."

I snorted at that since she knew too little.

"Perhaps I did, but I admit that I was also jealous of him. To everyone else, he was perfect while I was always second; always different. The only time anyone ever noticed me was when I caused trouble. People associated me with being a liar and mischief maker, rather than one of their own."

I realized too late that I might have said too much. I did not intend to tell her such personal matter. Just as I was about to take back my outburst of honesty, Mandy interrupted me again.

"But you're a prince. Shouldn't they look up to you?" She asked curiously.

I looked away as I unhappily explained, "It never felt sincere. Even among my supposed friends, I was simply regarded as an attachment to Thor. He was the one they looked to. Not me."

There was sadness on Mandy's face too. "Oh, Loki." I heard her mutter but she kept her consolations light since she probably knew I did not want her pity.

"I tried not to dwell too much in to it. My mother always reminded me that my day in the sun would come." I added when I remembered that not all of the time was bad.

"She trained me in things that I had potential in rather than things that were not for me. She supported my studies in other fields where others would have looked down on me for."

Mandy smiled a bit at the mention of my mother. "At least there was someone who cared about you."

"I suppose there was." I confirmed as I reminisced those wonderful times with Frigga. Suddenly I also recalled the pain that came with them.

"When it came to Odin, however, I always felt like he favoured Thor. The two of us were made to believe that we both had an opportunity to ascend to the throne, but it seemed that I was never good enough."

My companion inhaled deeply at that but said nothing.

I continued, saying, "I never understood why; that is until Thor's supposed coronation."

"What do you mean? What happened?" Mandy asked, turning to me and waiting intently for my explanation.

"Thor was to be crowned as king of Asgard, but I knew that he was far from ready. I couldn't let the realm suffer under an immature king so I made a small distraction."

"What did you do?" Mandy asked, sounding like a parent scolding a child.

"I allowed Jotuns to enter Asgard." I bluntly replied, though almost amused at the memory.

Mandy sat up confused. "What? Weren't they your enemies?"

"That was why they were the perfect distraction." I explained before I further relayed the events after that.

I told her of how Thor took things too personal and rashly decided to wage his own war against them, leading to an unnecessary battle that almost got us killed.

"And worst of all, I learned something there that changed everything I ever knew about myself." I said with my voice faltering ever so slightly.

Mandy leaned in and moved her hands to my forearm asking, "Loki, what happened?"

"While in battle, I made physical contact with one of the frost giants." I told her.

"Frost giants?" She inquired.

With a sigh, I clarified. "Jotuns. Normally when one touches them, he would get a form of frostbite which burns like a fire."

"Like what you were afraid you would do to me." Mandy added, proving once again that she had indeed been paying attention.

I confirmed it and told her, "In my case, something else occurred: my skin became blue and cold like theirs."

I could see Mandy's grey eyes express concern as well as surprise but she made no verbal comment.

I went on to say, that I went to the Casket of Ancient Winters, which Odin had taken when the war ended, and saw that my skin reacted the same way.

"That was when he told me the truth: I was never his son. I was taken from the ruins of Jotunheim, the abandoned child of the frost giants' king. Odin wanted to use me as a mediator between the two realms and not as a ruler of his own."

I did not state how betrayed I felt but it seemed Mandy understood. She soothed my arm and leaned in closer as I went silent for a brief moment.

When I managed to pull myself together, I told her of how I decided to use that knowledge to impress the Allfather instead.

"Thor was banished for his actions and with Odin apparently out of commission, mother put me on the throne. I manipulated my biological father to attack Odin so I could kill the jotun with the reason of saving the Allfather's life. Unfortunately, Thor managed to return tried to ruin my plans, not even knowing the full extent of it."

Mandy still said nothing but she seemed distraught upon hearing my methods. Choosing to ignore my observation, I continued with the story.

"So I used the Bifrost to tear apart Jotunheim."

Mandy finally spoke up, but with horror in her voice. "Wait, wouldn't that kill people? You would really let them die?"

Not seeing why it bothered her, I replied. "Yes, I would and I did. I already stated that I killed Laufey and in a war, casualties are common."

"But those other people were innocent!" she insisted with her eyes beginning to water.

I scoffed at her words. "They were blood thirsty monsters. That was all they were ever good for."

Mandy took her hands away as she darkly asked, "And what does that make you?"

At that moment, my patience snapped. She had turned against me and started to contradict her previous claims. "So now you finally agree. I truly am a monster. All the things you've tried to convince me to be were lies."

Mandy shut her eyes as she painfully admitted. "I believed you weren't, Loki. But killing people, slaughtering innocent lives, that's something I can't condone. How could you?"

She looked absolutely betrayed as she begged for my answer.

"I thought it would make Odin proud of me. They were planning to wage war anyway. Lives were going to be lost, so I chose the lesser of two evils." I said in my defense.

Mandy began to walk out. "I'm sorry. I just can't deal with that. Excuse me."

Angered by her reaction I yelled at her. "I knew it! You're just like everyone else! You judge my actions and not my intentions."

She turned around and firmly responded. "Can you blame us? Your actions are frightening."

"You fear me." I muttered, though loud enough to be heard.

Mandy shook her head lightly saying, "No, I fear what you can do; what you are willing to do for the sake of your pride."

"No one ever looked to me for anything. Not one person ever cared! I only had myself to rely on!" I shot back with my voice raised.

"So you would destroy everything to put yourself on a throne?" She asked rhetorically.

I grinded my teeth at that. "Why does everyone think that the throne was all I ever wanted? I only wanted to be of worth. I wanted to be seen as deserving of the title placed on me."

I saw understanding in Mandy's eyes for a brief moment before she spoke again. "And you don't regret anything you've done?"

"Only that it amounted to nothing." I admitted unwaveringly.

She hissed as if my words had physically hurt her. "That's what I was afraid of. You'll be trapped in that cycle forever. You don't see the wrong in what you've done."

I threw the blame back at her saying, "Don't start. You had a hand in several robberies, denying people of what they have worked hard for."

Horrified at my accusation Mandy immediately responded. "I was forced into it! They were going to kill me if I didn't help!"

"Precisely. You did it to survive. You looked out for yourself. What difference did you make with me?" I stated, trying to make a point she could follow.

Mandy's voice softened when she said, "I knew what I did was wrong. I've spent the past five years looking for a way to atone for it."

Not fully understanding that, I asked. "You suffered for it, didn't you? What atonement do you still need?"

"Others were hurt because of my selfishness. Why can't you see that?" She told me, obviously in an attempt to lure me into her way of thinking.

"We are victims too!" I insisted, knowing that she would sympathize with that.

Unmoved Mandy went on to say, "That doesn't give you an excuse to make others suffer."

Frustrated, I gave in. "What does it matter? I failed; a million other frost giants lived. "

"But you still wish you succeeded." Mandy added.

"Even if I did Odin would never have loved me for it. I realized that too late." I bitterly told her.

Mandy sighed and tried to reason with me. "I don't blame you for being angry with him but if you let the rest of your life be ruled by that, you'll destroy yourself and everyone around you."

I rolled my eyes knowing it was useless for her to care. "Don't worry yourself. If that happens, the universe will be a happier place. I should have died as a baby. I've already attempted suicide and that still did not happen."

Mandy suddenly froze when she heard what I said. "You tried to kill yourself?"

Not putting much thought into her reaction, I replied with sarcasm. "How do you think I ended up here?"

"Did you really think there was no way out? There must have been another way." Mandy asked, obviously shocked and confused.

"Like what? Live in shame of Odin and the rest of Asgard? Rot in the dungeons for trying to prevent a war?" I rhetorically stated.

Mandy paused before she said in a barely audible voice, "Don't ever do that again."

I turned to her and noticed that her hands were trembling. Tears were welling up in her eyes and some had trickled down her pale cheeks.

"Just don't." she muttered again.

I did not understand what exactly brought it about but something about my attempt to end my life seemed to have troubled her deeply. Not only that, but it managed to distract her from the subject at hand.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

Cocking her head slightly she said, "What do you mean?"

I walked over to her and brought a finger to the corner of her eye, catching a single tear. "This. Why are you crying?"

She wiped her face hastily at my comment but it was evident that she was still unwell.

"Loki, no matter how bad life gets, don't ever try to kill yourself. Life goes on, so please promise me you won't do it again." Mandy begged while grabbing my hand.

Confused and slightly angered, I removed myself from her and asked. "Why do you concern yourself with what I do with my life? I can only cause pain!"

"Because I still believe you can be saved!" She blurted out before covering her mouth in embarrassment.

My eyes grew wide at her confession. "Excuse me? After all that I've told you about me, what makes you even think that I can be saved, or that I even need to be? I am a lost cause made to suffer on this barren wasteland you call a planet!"

My mind raced at how she could believe in something like that. Mandy knew that I killed, manipulated and lied and she made it clear that she did not like it at all. I already accepted that she would not side with me after our argument and yet here she was, claiming that there was still hope for me.

"You doubt yourself too much. That's why you've always felt you were beneath everyone; why you made stupid decisions to get attention!" She yelled accusingly.

I stepped back, slightly insulted at her outburst, but somewhere inside me, I knew she was right.

"Loki, I can't overlook the fact that you did terrible things in the past." She admitted.

I in turn, huffed in defeat but it seemed that she had more to say.

"But that doesn't mean you can't change. You aren't entirely bad. You've proved that to me so many times. I know you can still be saved."

I stared into those determined gray eyes hoping to find some sense in the mess of words she said. Mandy had too much faith in me and I was undeserving of it.

Still refusing to give her the satisfaction, I challenged her. "And you think you are the one who can bring me back?"

She did not respond immediately, possibly assessing herself. When she finally managed to speak, she cast her eyes to the ground and said, "No. As much as I'd like to be, I can't. I'm no hero, nor am I a saint."

"I thought so." I muttered, unsure whether I should feel triumphant or disappointed. I did, however, appreciate her honesty.

"But I do know the only one who can." Mandy added, calling my attention back to her.

With a sarcastic tone and a raised eyebrow, I asked. "Now who could that be?"

"You. You are the only one and no one else can do it for you." She replied calmly.

Unhappy with her answer, I brushed it off. "If I could, I might have done it centuries ago."

"You can. You always could." She assured me with a gentle smile.

I turned away and went silent. I wondered how she could be so sure that I was capable of something more than self-destruction.

"I highly doubt it." I said, dissuading her.

"But do you want to be saved?" Mandy asked, cocking her head and patiently waiting for whatever response I would give her.

I sighed and thought hard. The thought never really crossed my mind, and I chose not to put much faith on the possibility of my so-called salvation. After falling off the Bifrost, I believed that it was only a matter of time before I would end up as a worthless castaway.

I looked into the eyes of the blind girl before me. She knew that I was horrible but she also knew that I had suffered much in the past. She accepted that but also wanted me to rise again. Mandy believed I could and so I decided to see if she was right.

"I do." I replied.

Mandy smiled, obviously overjoyed that I was willing to try. She then took my hand once again, and said the words that she had been trying to tell me all along.

"I wanna see you saved too."

End of chapter 19

Whooo! Finally! This was sooooo hard to write. Writing Loki's story took a lot of refreshing my memory of Thor 1. It took over two weeks to do and I had to redo the original plot. I hope you liked it!

Tell me what you think, what your favorite line and parts were and where you think I can and should improve.

I'll see you guys in the next chapter!