Chapter 5 Moving Forward, Hitting the Breaks

"Tell me to stop" The words went through her like air and a few seconds later she still hadn't mustered the words though her mind was telling her they couldn't do it. She couldn't do it, she couldn't cheat on Finn after months of hiding such a big secret from him to begin with. Her heart wasn't listening though, her heart had no idea who Finn was as she moved even closer so that their noses were touching.

The kiss was slow, like a low burning fire as their lips barely touched at first. Rachel felt a million emotions flow through her but relief felt like the strongest. For months she had longed to kiss him, to remember what it was like and to solidify her feelings for him. She had also been terrified for it to happen but now that it was she knew she had been right to be scared. Kissing Noah was better than she could ever imagine. Her hand cupped his cheek as the initial contact broke and they looked into each other's eyes before kissing again.

Her heart was beating rapidly as they parted and she could tell he was searching for any regret in her eyes. There wasn't any, not yet anyways. She was in shock and her hand went to her tingling lips as she slowly sat up and looked over at him. There was so much she needed to say, so much that she should say but nothing came out.

"I should go." He said quickly as he sat up and she reached out for him and grabbed his hand. "Noah…" She whispered and he shook his head before taking his hand back and heading towards her window.

A week went by and he hadn't showed up once, at school he was more distant though it didn't go noticed by anyone but her. When she tried to talk to him he would ignore her or make up an excuse and it drove her crazy not knowing what was going on. She was still with Finn and she knew that didn't help matters any but not knowing what was going on in Noah's head didn't give her any reason to leave him. There was a high chance that she and Noah would never be together, that their kiss was a mistake and he wasn't reciprocating her feelings. It hurt thinking that while her kiss had made everything she had been feeling for him stronger that he no longer seemed interested in even being her friend.

She found him lingering after glee rehearsal backstage of the auditorium. "Can we talk?" Rachel asked as she approached him though she was waiting for him to flee. He looked like he was about to when she stopped in front of him giving him no chance. "Noah, this important. Please." She pleaded as Santana and Brittany walked past them and she did her best to pay no attention before finally taking his hand and leading him into the small dressing room. Rachel locked the door and then leaned against it as she crossed her arms. "You haven't talked to me in a week." She stated though it wasn't like he didn't already know that. What he didn't know was how much she missed him and how long she waited every night for him to show up at her window only to be disappointed when he never came.

He just stood there with his hands in his pockets making her both sad and annoyed. Finally she moved and put her hands on his cheeks to force him to look at her. "I miss you." She said honestly. "I miss talking to you and sleeping next to you, why are you avoiding me? Was kissing me that bad? Did it mean nothing? Don't you miss me?" Rachel asked and was surprised when his hands clasped hers as he moved them from his cheeks while he shook his head.

"No, Rach." He said giving her no clue which answer he was saying no to. She looked at him searching for answers, for some sort of clue as to what he was saying. "No, what?" Rachel whispered as she squeezed his hands needing to know. When he let go and moved away she knew it was what she had been dreading. That they were no more than friends, she wasn't sure they were even that anymore.

"Oh." She whispered as she leaned against the vanity her head down. "I should go then, leave you to what ever you were doing." Rachel stated as she started to move passed him but he grabbed her hand and quickly pulled her towards him. Before she could say anything he was kissing her fiercely and she gasped before kissing him back. She melted into the kiss, her body relaxing against his at how comfortable it was to be connected with him in such way. When he pulled back she tightened her grip on his hand refusing to let him walk away from her again.

He needed to start explaining before she went crazy. "I shouldn't have kissed you." He stated and her face fell. "No, not because I don't want to or because I don't have feelings or whatever you call them. I said I wouldn't do this, I wouldn't steal his girl again and look what I'm doing." It didn't event take her a second to realize what he was talking about. He and Quinn had wrecked Finn and the two boys had only started to become close like they had been before the scandal came out. Now it was Rachel who Noah was cheating with and she understood why he was feeling guilty and avoiding her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered knowing that she hadn't helped things any. Really she had wanted it for far longer than she was sure he had and rarely did she feel immensely guilty about it. "I'll talk to Finn, I-I'll break up with him."

He shook his head though and she sighed frustrated that within the last few months she had received nothing but mixed signals and confusion from him.

"Don't, he'll blame me and hate you and then the damn glee club will be upset and…" He mumbled before stopping and pulling away from her completely. The stern look on her face made him roll his eyes.

"You have Hudson, it's what you wanted. Why would I fuck that up." He shrugged and she huffed.

"I won't bring you up he won't know about any of this. We won't tell anyone we are together for a little while, it'll be fine." She said and honestly it made sense to him. Kind of. "It'll be fine." She repeated but he still shook his head and moved to leave. She wouldn't move from the door.

"Rachel, just leave it, k? We're cool. Just gonna forget this happened no biggie." He said with a shrug.

"I don't want to." She said with a small stomp of the foot and he almost cracked a smile.

Instead he picked her up and moved her, freeing the door. With one more look and a sigh he opened it. "I'll see you." He promised.

That night she locked her window.

This chapter is shorter, I know but after over a year of it being on hiatus I hope it's okay!