A/N: I was so nervous that you guys weren't going to like the last chapter. I am so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the reviews!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. The story and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Also, I apologize for any errors. I don't have this story beta'd (mostly because I am unsure of how to even go about doing that), so the errors are my own.
Chapter 10: The Beach
The day after her conversation with Suplicia, Esme contacted Billy Black to talk about Bella coming to visit the reservation. He agreed to the stipulations laid out and reassured Esme that no harm would come to Bella. He also surprised Esme when he asked if he could speak openly with her.
"Mrs. Cullen, Esme," He stated, "I come from a long line of shifters. It is in my blood to fear and hate your kind. Yet, I allowed my own flesh and blood to be in your care. I trusted you." He paused a moment as if composing himself, "I never thought that I would be anywhere near your kind, but you are different. It is not just the fact that you drink from animals. When I see you with that little girl, it makes me challenge everything I thought I knew."
"Billy," Esme began also using his familiar name as a sign of friendship, "Thank you for your kind words. The truth is that Bella changed us. We are more human because of her. I too am starting to challenge things I once thought were true."
"I don't mean to pry, but I don't know what you mean."
Esme didn't mean to unload that on Billy so she quickly pulled herself from her thoughts and spoke, "I'm sorry, Billy, I was just rambling off. So, when would be a good time to bring little Bella to the treaty line. She is most anxious to see Jacob again. She hasn't stopped talking about getting to go to the beach since she last saw him."
Billy laughed heartily, "Jacob has been much the same. Will two work for you?"
Esme considered it for a moment, and then realized the time was perfect as it would allow Bella to eat lunch and get a small nap before leaving, "That will be just fine, Billy. We will see you then."
They said their goodbyes and hung up. Esme left the study and made her way to the kitchen to make breakfast for Bella. She was intercepted by Alice, "Actually Esme, you should wait a little bit, Bella will want to help."
Esme nodded. She should have guessed as much. Over the past few weeks Bella was quite taken with helping whenever the vampires were making her meals. Usually she was an attentive and clean helper. But after yesterday, Esme wondered if Bella would be more mischievous in the kitchen. Edward interrupted Esme's thoughts, "Actually, Esme, that was all Rose's doing. It was actually pretty entertaining."
Esme pondered that information. She knew that Rose had been changed the most since Bella had come into their lives but she didn't expect her to revert back to childish food fights. A smile graced her face and she looked back at Edward, "Good for her. I'm just sorry I missed it." Edward smiled in response, "Me too, at least I got to see the replay in her thoughts later." Esme chuckled. She found herself wishing she could have Edward's gift more and more lately so she could watch moments like the ones she missed. She had never wanted his gift before as she knew the constant din made it difficult for him, but now she thought the din may be an acceptable price to pay.
Edward nodded his understanding and then left the living room and proceeded to go work on his new piece. Alice and Bella came down stair a short while later. They were chatting happily together. Bella's eyes lit up when she saw Esme. "Esme!" She exclaimed and she flung herself into her arms for a hug. It never failed, every time Bella saw Esme after even a brief time apart, she responded in this way. It also never failed to make Esme feel beyond happy. She spun the girl around and placed a kiss on her forehead before speaking, "Good morning, sweetheart. Would you like to help me make pancakes for breakfast?"
Bella nodded and kissed Esme's cheek. Then Esme carried her to the kitchen and they began breakfast preparations.
"Can we make one big pancake?" Bella looked up at Esme with her big brown eyes, silently pleading.
Esme smiled, "Of course, sweetie." She leant down and placed a kiss on Bella's head and stroked her cheek affectionately. "Let's get started, do you want to crack the eggs?"
They continued to make the batter and Esme helped Bella flip the pancake, taking care to keep her small hands protected from potential burns. Esme quickly cut some strawberries to place on the top and poured her a glass of milk and then sat across from Bella at the table.
"Esme," Bella looked up from her eating and looked at Esme thoughtfully, "May I ask you something?"
"Anything, sweetie."
"Does blood taste as good as pancakes?"
Esme sputtered, unable to even begin to think about what she was just asked. She was well aware the Bella knew what their lives, and more importantly their diets, consisted of. She was just surprised to hear the question voiced so honestly. Then Esme's own curiosity burned as well and she countered with another question, "Why do you ask, sweetheart?"
"I just want to know if I will miss that taste. That is all." Bella shrugged her shoulders; completely unaware of the havoc she was wrecking is Esme's heart.
"You want to be a vampire?" Esme was barely able to whisper out. She had been struggling with this issue for weeks and she was still no closer to knowing how she truly felt about the situation. She knew she would have to deal with it eventually, but she thought she would have years to come to terms with it one way or another. And now Bella had literally dropped the issue on her without warning.
Bella looked at her curiously, "Of course," she said simply as though there was no need for further discussion. "You did not answer by question," she reminded Esme, "Does blood taste as good as pancakes?"
Esme didn't know what to do so she answered the question honestly, "It does."
"That is good to know," Bella responded, still unaware of the turmoil she was putting Esme through, "I would be very sad if I could not have this taste."
Esme regained a bit of herself and questioned Bella, "Bella, sweetie, can you answer a few questions for me?" Esme hedged gently. She didn't want Bella to think that she was upset with the child, but she desperately wanted to question her.
"Sure," Bella nodded and scooped another piece of pancake in her mouth.
"Can you tell me how you know you are going to be a vampire? Did your parents tell you that?"
Bella swallowed the piece in her mouth before responding, "No," simply.
Esme was frustrated with her inability to get the information she wanted without pressing too hard. She tried again, "Do you want this?"
Bella seemed to understand that Esme was struggling to reconcile something. She pushed her plate away slightly and looked at Esme closely. Then she responded after a breath, "I want this. I want my family forever."
"You are very young, sweetheart. There are some things you don't quite understand."
Bella looked at her thoughtfully, a maturity far beyond her years shining from her eyes, "But I will understand them when I am older. I do not think it will change my desire. I want to spend eternity with my parents, with my aunts and uncles, with Jane, with you, Rose and everyone. Human minds," she struggled to find the right word in English and scrunched her nose when she failed to find it, "human minds do not last long. They lose memories as they age. That would be very sad for me." She looked up at Esme with sad eyes, "I do not want to forget you."
Esme rushed to her side, "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to upset you." She pulled her into a hug and cradled her gently. "We don't need to talk about this now, okay. How about we do some reading before we get you ready for the beach?"
Bella's eyes lit up at the mention of the beach, but then scrunched again as if she was unsure of something else, "Do you want me to forget you?" Bella said, obviously not going to be swayed from this conversation.
"Oh, honey, I would never want that." She pulled the child close to her again and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much, Bella."
Bella squeezed her back and she said, "I love you too…" She seemed to hesitate at the end as if unsure of herself. She pulled back and looked at Esme closely. Then she spoke again, "Am I your," she paused and then decided to say something else, "Sometimes I feel like I should call," she hesitated again. She started to become visibly upset. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes mustering her courage and spoke softly, "Are you my mommy? My other mother, I mean?" As if the courage she had just built up suddenly fled her, she slouched in Esme's arms, unable to look at her.
Esme was torn between wanting to celebrate and wanting to comfort the distraught child in her arms. She squeezed her gently and cupped her chin so she could look her in the eyes as she spoke, "I think of you very much as a daughter, Isabella. I love you very much."
Bella smiled slightly in relief. "So I can call you 'mommy' sometimes? I noticed when we were at the carnival and at the hospital that human children called their caregivers mommy. Something about the term felt right when I thought of you."
"Do you want to?" Esme couldn't help but beam.
"Yes, sometimes when I call you Esme it does not feel right. Is that okay?"
"I would like that very much, sweetheart."
Bella beamed back at her. "Great! Mama said you would not mind. I wanted to check with you first though. She also said that she hoped I was not picking up too much 'American slang,'" Bella said with a sly grin.
Esme chuckled at the last statement. She was startled at the thoughtfulness and maturity of this child. Bella had not only discussed this issue with herself but also her mother, well her other mother. Esme grinned at that thought. She also appreciated the reminder that Suplicia was okay with this development and encouraged their relationship. She gave Bella another hug and asked if she wanted to go read.
Esme and Bella spent the rest of the morning reading together before Rose brought Bella some lunch. When she finished eating Esme coaxed her into talking a short nap. Esme didn't have the heart to leave Bella after their conversation and so she stayed by her side while she napped. She stroked her hair and could not believe her fortune. This little girl wanted to be hers. It made her wonder if they were really monsters. This thought brought about a whole new round of thinking. She recalled Bella's earlier admission that she wanted to be a vampire.
Could she really condemn Bella to this life? Was this life really a condemnation? She felt selfish wishing that she could keep Bella with them forever. She couldn't deny that the thought of Bella becoming immortal was something she hoped for, especially now that Esme felt she had a claim on her as her mother. But she just didn't know if it was something she should be hoping for. She continued to vacillate back and forth neither coming to a solution nor feeling comfortable with her ambivalence. So she pushed her thoughts aside and watched the sleeping child. She watched her chest rise and fall and allowed that focus to calm her thoughts and fill her with peace. For now, Bella was human. For now, Bella was a child and she needed Esme. That is all she should be thinking about. Esme knew that the issue would continue to plague her, but in this moment she did not allow it another thought.
When it was getting close to the time to leave; she gently roused Bella from sleep. Bella woke quickly and said, "The beach! Come on let's go!" She grabbed her hand and practically raced down the stairs.
Rose accompanied Bella and Esme to the treaty line where Billy and Jacob were waiting.
"Don't worry, Esme," Billy said, "We will take good care of her. We will see you back here in a few hours."
Bella hugged Esme and Rose and then leapt to follow Billy and Jacob to the beach. Rose and Esme climbed a neighboring tree and settled themselves to watch over the little girl. They watched on as she played and laughed in the water with Jacob. Esme fell back into her earlier thoughts and decided to ask Rose about the issue, "Bella told me she was going to be a vampire this morning."
Rose seemed to take a moment to collect her thoughts, "Are you surprised? She is being raised by vampires. Look at the way she composes herself, she is already more vampire than human," she said matter-of-factly.
Esme was shocked by this statement. Out of her entire family, Rosalie was the most opposed to their existence. "I am surprised that you are not opposed to this," Esme said, the disbelief evident in her voice.
"It's more complicated than that." Rose let her gaze fall to Bella playing on the beach and then she continued, "When I see her down there I can't help but think that she could grow up, marry, have children and grandchildren." She scoffed lightly and then looked to Esme and said, "I wouldn't even care if she fell in love with that mutt down there," she jerked her chin toward Jacob. Then she looked at Esme seriously, "But I will not force my choices on her nor will I oppose her decisions. If she wants this life," she said and gestured between the two of them, "then she will have my support. Besides, I really like the idea of her getting forever with us."
Esme looked down and then voiced her biggest concern, "Don't you worry that our nature will corrupt her? I do not think I could bear to condemn her to this life."
"Do you truly believe that Esme? Think about what you are saying. Do you really think that we are monsters? Look at us. She loves us. Would a child that sweet and innocent love a monster? Better yet, look at the Volturi. Look at how much they have changed. Do you think monsters would change to accommodate a human child? Think of Suplicia, the ruthless queen; Aro, the manipulative king; and Jane, who thrives on pain; did they meet your expectations? Do you think they are monsters? I don't, not anymore." Rose spoke to Esme fiercely, as if she was willing her to understand.
"They still kill humans, Rose. We still kill; we have to in order to survive." That was what it all came back to for Esme. Every time this issue arouse she remembered the look on Bella's face when they first met. The fear she saw in her eyes when she learned that they killed animals to survive. That was the face that haunted her. It was the face that did not allow her to fully be okay with the thought of that innocent child joining them in this life.
Rose nodded sadly but didn't respond. What could she say? They both went back to watching Bella play. She and Jacob were building a sand castle trying to race against the tide to get it built before the ocean reclaimed it. Esme felt the need to release some of the tension so she smirked and looked at Rose, "So you really mean that you would be okay with her being with a dog?" She chuckled when Rosalie shot her a glare.
"What? If he made her happy, I could get used to the smell." She looked away haughtily.
"Wow, Rosalie, I think you are losing your edge." Esme reached over and playfully shoved her arm. She enjoyed this side of Rose and they continued their banter back and forth while watching Bella lovingly.
After some time had passed Rose perked up and said, "It looks like they are getting ready to leave." They both jumped down from the tree and raced to the treaty line. When Billy, Jacob, and Bella came into sight, Bella ran toward them, "Esme! Rose!" She hugged them both in greeting. Esme then turned to the girl in her arms, "Are you ready to go?"
"Just one moment." She hopped down and hugged both Billy and Jacob before thanking them for the afternoon. Esme nodded her thanks to Billy while Rosalie took Bella's hand and they made their way to the car. When they got in the car, Esme could tell the girl was bursting at the seams in a desire to tell them both what she had learned. She smiled and asked, "So, tell us all about your afternoon, sweetheart."
Bella's eyes lit up and she launched into a narrative of what the afternoon was comprised of. As they were pulling into the driveway she finished by saying, "I cannot wait until I can tell Jasper all about the tribe. Do you think we can go on a walk later?"
"I'm sure he would like that. How about we all go? We can walk up to the waterfall together. But first, maybe we should get you into the bath." Esme couldn't help it; the smell of wet dog, while faint because Jacob hadn't actually shifted yet, was present.
Rosalie chuckled at her tactics and mock whispered conspiratorially to Bella, "I bet if you ask nicely, Esme will let you take a bubble bath."
Bella's eyes sparkled and she looked to Esme, "Please."
"Alright you little nymph, you know I can't say no when you give me those big eyes of yours."
"Thanks, mommy." Esme beamed and hugged Bella tightly. At this moment she couldn't care less about the smell. She raced her up the stairs while still holding her tight and drew a bath, with lots of bubbles.
As promised, the whole Cullen family walked to the waterfall together. Bella walked while holding Jasper and Alice's hand while telling Jasper all about the tribe and what she had learned. Jasper was an attentive listener and asked follow up questions here and there while supplying additional commentary about other historical aspects that he thought Bella would enjoy. The rest of the family enjoyed listening in to the conversation between the two but refrained from interrupting.
When they got to the clearing with the waterfall, Bella ate the light dinner that Rose had packed for her while Bella was taking a bath. Emmett burst in as soon as she finished, "We should play a game! What do you think Bella?"
a/n: I have the rest of the story mapped out; there will be two more chapters and an epilogue. I am hoping to be finished by the end of this week. We shall see.