Hey guys! I'm back after a long, long time! I know I haven't been updating as of late but I've been so busy that it's not even funny anymore. Anyway, this chapter went through a lot of changes which also contributed to why it took so long to finish.

I don't know if I rechecked it enough so forgive me for spelling or grammar fails.

Anyway, here you go, Chapter 21

Disclaimer:….We all know I don't own anyone but the OC's.

Mandy P.O.V.

Sleep did not come to me as fast as it normally did. Despite my usual methods of falling asleep, nothing happened. It should not have been so hard to do since it had been a long day and all I really wanted was to rest. The problem was that it seemed my mind was still preoccupied with lingering thoughts: ones about what had happened between Loki and myself.

He had actually been the one who offered to dance first, which was weird, and then I suddenly started acting and feeling awkward about being so close to him. It was strange since it never really happened before. I held his hands often, I had hugged him from behind once and we had even shared a bed at one point.

Why was this time so different?

After a while of trying unsuccessfully to relax, I got up and grabbed a large lump of modeling clay to vent out my frustrations and clear my head.

Loki. From the moment we met, he had never been ordinary yet I was not fazed by it as much as I should have.

He was from some mythical land, raised as a prince and could change his form. His skin was cold but he wasn't. His face was sharp and thin and he had a tall, long nose and deep eyes. He mentioned that they were green and that his slightly long hair was colored black.

Unbeknownst to me, I had been applying the physical description of Loki onto the clay in my hands as I poured out my thoughts.

Despite how different he was, I've never felt scared of him. He was always gentle with me. Sarcastic, sure; but never harsh.

The man was broken and pained yet was still willing to bear with me and my weird ways. The poor guy even took care of me when I was freaking out or sick. He even managed to make me share my traumatizing past when I tried hard to keep it hidden. It's as if the more I try to help him, the more I expose myself; something that I have been afraid to do for so long.

And the weirdest part of it all was that opening up to him didn't drive him away. He never judged me or saw me as anything other than what I was. Maybe it was because he felt sorry for me, or could relate through our shared sufferings. Our twisted pasts seemed to have turned us into puzzle pieces that fit too well.

But was that a good thing? Was being with another broken person a step toward healing? Or was it going to hold him back? Was it going to hold me back too?

I haven't really put too much thought in my decision to help Loki. I knew I wanted to help him, but I've never really stopped to consider if I was doing the right thing. Was I forcing Loki into something he didn't really want? What if my methods were wrong all along?

I took a deep breath, pausing my mental rant. The progressing thoughts were beginning to overwhelm me rather than calm me down. Deciding I needed a different distraction, I put the molded clay aside and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Loki P.O.V.

The sheets did not give me the comfort I had hoped for. I was surely exhausted from all that had occurred but it seemed impossible to fall asleep.

Perhaps it was because I was still a little paranoid. After all, things rarely ended well for me and this day went a little too well. I should have been happy about it but there was some eerie feeling at the back of my mind that kept me wary. It was as if I wanted something bad to happen.

Forcing those fears aside, I tried to keep a clear mind so I could sleep. Through the darkness of closed eyelids however, the memory of the dance from earlier resurfaced.

It was a pleasant time to say the least and teasing Mandy to the point of her shying away was well worth the effort. Mandy's flustered face was quite adorable. It certainly was not the first time I had seen her blush but it never lost its charm.

Moments like those brought out the little girl in her. It was easy to forget just how young she was, considering the amount of pain she had experienced and how wise she was. By mortal standards she was already a young adult but compared to me, she was a child; one that was innocent enough to trust someone like me. She was even willing to overlook my sins and believing in some redemption for an ice monster. She was a rare, if not impossible, find.

Just as I was getting lost in my thoughts, the sound of slow footsteps suddenly resonated throughout the room. It was too dark for me to identify the source but I could tell that it had only passed me by before heading towards the kitchen.

I followed it and tried to locate the mysterious being without alerting it of my presence. If I was lucky, it would not be something or someone dangerous.

Inside the kitchen, I heard the clinking of glass before seeing light emit from the refrigerator. As it turned out, it was actually just Mandy, trying to get a drink.

I sighed in relief and approached her. "Mandy?" I called out.

She visibly tensed in surprise, almost dropping her glass.

"Loki? Is that you?" She uneasily asked.

I assured her of my identity, telling her, "Yes it is me. Were you expecting anyone else?"

"No, I just didn't think you'd still be awake." She replied while turning to face me.

I responded, saying. "I could say the same about you. It's uncommon to find you sneaking around the house at this time of night."

I held the refrigerator door open to keep the room illuminated and it allowed me to see her tired face.

"Did you have a nightmare?" I inquired, assuming that was her reason for being awake so late.

"No, I was just thirsty. I hope I didn't wake you." She replied, raising her glass for emphasis.

Her response calmed me a little but I could still tell that she was troubled.

"Worry not about me. Finish your drink and go back to sleep." I instructed politely.

She gave be a small forced smile and said, "I'll try. Are you okay out here? You don't sound like you're rested either."

"It has been a difficult day for me." I told her without much emotion

"Need some company?" She offered.

I raised an eyebrow at her as I asked, "Do you not tire of coming to my aid?"

She visibly shrugged saying, "Not really. Besides, you need it."

I rolled my eyes. She was already doing far too much for me and yet she continued to force herself to assist me.

"I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself for the night." I assured her.

She nodded and began to walk to the direction of her room before pausing and turning to me once again.

"Um, Loki?" She began, sounding a little nervous.

"Yes?" I responded.

"If I do something that might overstep your boundaries, you'd let me know, right?"

Her question caught me off guard. "That is a strange thing to ask. What brought this about?"

Tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, she admitted. "Well, I was just worried that I've been pushing you to do things you don't really want. I might've been really selfish to make you talk about such private things. The thought just sunk in some time ago and I'm really sorry if I've been doing that to you."

"Why are you so concerned about things like that?" I asked incredulously.

Studying her face though the dim light, I could see a tinge of fear. No doubt that this was indeed bothering her but I found it odd. She actually cared that I may have a different take on things when most people in my life seemed to have forgotten that I had my own opinion.

I sighed and reassured her. "Mandy, you have done many things but forcing me into anything is not one of them. All that I have done is by my own choice."

She did not calm down immediately, possibly not believing that she had done no wrong.

"Are you sure? You can be brutally honest with me. I can take it."

Needing to put the topic to rest, I said, "I am certain. If it puts your mind at ease, I will let you know if you do. Alright?"

My response seemed to relive her of her worries and at that, we parted ways for the second time tonight.

Happy to have been of assistance, I lay back on my little bed and drifted off to long-awaited sleep.

Mandy P.O.V.

I headed back to my room with a small smile on my face. I did not expect to find some closure to the thoughts in my head but luckily, I received it. There was no clear answer, but at the very least, there was an assurance that it will surface one day. That being settled, I fell asleep the minute my head hit the pillows.

Loki P.O.V.

"Loki?"

Someone was calling out to me and shaking me gently.

"Wake up, Loki."

The voice continued to try to rouse me but I refused to do so. I simply wished to remain in bed, undisturbed.

After a while of not responding to it, the movement stopped, allowing me the precious moments of peace that I desired. That was until I felt something make contact with my face, brushing against unfamiliar ridges on my skin.

Suddenly I remembered that I was still in Jotun form. In a panic, I swatted away whatever it was that was touching me. The sound of a loud crash and a short groan followed right after.

I rose from the bed and turned to the source of the sound, where I saw a familiar figure on the floor. Mandy looked rather stunned after I had unintentionally shoved her down.

I checked to see if I had burned her unintentionally. Luckily there was only a white mark that traced where my hand had been. Even so, it did not make me feel eased.

"I'm sorry."

I looked up, realizing the apology was not said by me but by Mandy.

"I didn't mean to scare you awake." She continued.

Hiding my guilt, I scoffed and said, "You did not frighten me. I simply did not want to risk burning anyone. Perhaps you have forgotten, I am still a danger to you."

"I guess I did forget." She said sheepishly. "But you haven't hurt me before so, why are you still worried?"

"You cannot rule out the possibility. You may not see me as a monster but I know I am."

She merely rolled her blind eyes in response and attempted to stand, only trip on a box and fall into me instead.

"Sorry! This is happening a little too often. I swear I'm not doing this on purpose."

"It seems your clumsiness is already inherent, I don't think you should be apologetic about it. I would prefer it if you were more careful, though."

She smiled a little and separated herself from me. "You know, I just realized that you've never blamed my blindness for all those times I've tripped on you."

Surprised by her observation, it took me a moment to respond. "I thought you disliked it when your condition was used against you."

"That's true but that's why I find it weird that you don't when practically everyone else does." She told me.

Mandy's comment was a little confusing. It was not clearly a compliment but it was not exactly an insult either.

Before a clarification could be made, she suddenly changed the subject. "Come on. Let's have some breakfast."

The meal went well considering how many times I froze items on the table. Mandy found it amusing much to my chagrin. I knew that my true form was not bothersome to her, but having her giggle at the dangerous things I could do was not the reaction was expecting. The cold skin was still alien to me and a little disturbing to look at.

The sooner my magic returns and I am able to revert to my Aesir form, the better.

After eating, we both set off for the living room to finish fixing the mess I created yesterday. We may have cleared up most of the scattered items the night before but we had abandoned the rest after being distracted by the music-playing machine.

Slowly the cabinet was filled and the floor was eventually cleared. One particular object however, caught my eye, causing me to pull it out once again.

It was a book but there was something odd about it. The cover had spots on it and the pages inside were filled with them. It was obviously written in a form of language but I had not encountered it before, thus making me unable to decipher it.

"Mandy, there is a book here filled with a pattern of raised dots." I told my companion who may have had an idea as to what it was.

She turned to me with eyes filled with curiosity. "A Braille book? Let me see." Mandy requested.

"I am assuming you do not mean that literally." I joked while handing it over.

She chuckled as she replied, "Of course. You're smart enough to know that."

I waited for her to feel around the book before asking, "Care to explain what it is?"

"It's a book made for blind people. The dots have meanings." She replied while still a little engrossed with the item.

"You can read it then." I said to her though it sounded more like a question.

Mandy gave an awkward chuckle then confessed, "Mrs. Wednesday tried to teach me but I didn't learn much."

She flipped through the book and ran her fingers across the page where she stopped. "Like this has the letters, D, E, something, D again." She read.

Suddenly something caught my eye. "Mandy, there's a piece of paper pressed between those pages." I informed her as I pulled it out.

Just as curious about it as I was, she asked. "What's on it?"

"It seems to be a list of instructions but it's entitled, Desiderata." I told her.

She scrunched her eyebrows in thought before saying, "I've heard of the title before. I think it's supposed to be a poem or something."

After a brief pause, she spoke again. "Wait, maybe that's the translation of this page. Can you read it for me?"

Mandy P.O.V.

"Desiderata. Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence." Loki began.

His reading voice was always so smooth that it made the poem sound sincere, regardless whether he intended it that way or not.

"Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

While Loki went on, I chuckled to myself a little, relating to being compared and how it never gave anyone any satisfaction; just more pain.

"Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism."

The words rang true to what I believed. I had been fooled and taken advantage of for much of my life that meeting good-hearted almost made me doubt their intentions.

The poem seemed to know a lot about what life really is; both the good and the bad parts. It was a very rare to actually find a work that understood that.

Loki P.O.V.

"Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass."

I continued to read aloud the strange message written on the paper. The advice it was giving sounded both realistic yet optimistic making it difficult to judge.

"Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

I paused for a moment, feeling as if the words were directed to me and trying to dispel my doubts. Just as Mandy had said, there was a purpose awaiting me somewhere. It was comforting but also terrifying in a way that I could not fully explain.

Reaching the final lines of the poem, my voice trembled slightly.

"With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

It left Mandy and I speechless for a brief moment. Both of us had seen the worst of life but those words sounded too reassuring to ignore. I could see on her face that she was thinking hard, making it clear that she was also affected by it.

"That was beautiful, and a little creepy." She finally said.

"Creepy? In what way?" I asked her, trying to follow her line of thought.

She did not answer right away, possibly fishing for the best way to describe her opinion.

"I don't know. It's like it was made for us; people who have been through a lot and still finding their way."

We seemed to have the same idea about the note but I chose not to say so just yet. Instead I opted to tease Mandy.

"It sounded like most of the things you've been telling me. Are you certain this was not written by you?"

She gave a childish pout and said, "I wish. But even I'm not that profound."

Jokingly agreeing with her, I told her, "Perhaps not."

"Was that an insult?" She suddenly said, feigning hurt.

"Only if you take offense at it. Which you normally don't." I replied, knowing full well that I was not upsetting her.

She rolled her eyes and dejectedly said, "Well that's how I am. I hide my anger, so people can just take advantage of me."

Her statement surprised me and the playful banter seemed to have taken a different turn.

"I've seen you angry before and just because people can take advantage of someone does not mean they should."

She smiled at that and patted my cold blue hand lightly, obviously meaning she appreciated what I told her.

Deciding to change the subject before Mandy becomes more sentimental, I said, "Well, we had better return that book."

Mandy reached for it but instead of handing it over to me, she folded the corner of the page and asked for the piece of paper with the translation.

"I wanna keep them within reach. You never know when we need them again." She said.

Confused by her actions, I asked her, "Why would ever it be needed?"

Mandy held up the book as she replied. "If we ever lose track of what we're supposed to do, we can just follow it. Besides, I really love that one part and I don't want to forget it."

"And which part would that be?" I inquired as I moved closer.

"The one that says, 'the world is still beautiful. Strive to be happy.'"

It surprised me how she too was interested in that line considering how optimistic she already was.

"As kind as those words are, they are not exactly simple things to follow. Happiness is a difficult thing to find." I told Mandy, not admitting that I found that part a little appealing.

She did not look too disappointed when she admitted, "That's true but we still have to try."

"To try is not a certainty that you'll find it." I informed her, trying not to give her false hopes.

Unfazed, Mandy turned to me and smiled.

"But it's a start. If we're lucky, one day, we might actually get there."

End of Chapter 21

Finally! Again, I'm sorry for taking so long but I hope this update made you happy. It's taken a long time to find the right flow of the story.

Regarding the Desiderata part, it was inspired by a recording of Tom Hiddleston reading that poem for an app called The Love Book. You can hear it on youtube too.

Loved this chapter? Hate it? Please let me know so I can improve. Also, I'm open to suggestions so please share them to me.

See you guys in the next chapter!