AN: Thanks again for sticking with the story (and sorry for the cliffhanger). I'll try to update quickly to keep you guys from dangling for long!
Lisbon is on the other side of the door, glaring at him over the barrel of her gun.
Jane's heart races. Then it stops altogether.
"Step outside the apartment, Jane," says Lisbon, her voice low. He does so, letting the door shut behind him. He raises his hands without thinking about it. His fingers shake, and he knows Lisbon has noticed. "Turn around," she continues.
Jane rotates slowly, almost glad to be turning away from her. The blazing intensity of her eyes terrifies him. He takes a breath.
Then the breath is knocked out of him when Lisbon pushes him roughly against the door, grabbing first his right hand and then his left and pulling them behind his back. Suddenly he can't hear anything except the blood rushing through his ears.
When he feels the cool metal of Lisbon's handcuffs around his wrists, he leans his forehead against the door.
He doesn't need to ask for the charges, and she doesn't recite them.
Jane is freezing.
He'd never noticed before, but the holding cells down in the basement of the CBI are frigid. He's pulled his suit jacket more tightly around himself and tucked his fingers underneath his armpits, but he still can't stop shivering.
To be fair, however, he thinks most of the tremors are a result of fear rather than a response to the cold.
He leans against the brick wall and slides down it, settling on the floor. Still shivering slightly, he pulls his knees to his chest, resting his elbows on his legs and his forehead on his hands.
There's no use denying it: he's terrified.
Rigsby, Cho, and Grace had met them at the entrance to the building, but Jane hadn't been able to look at his teammates when Lisbon had escorted him in. Not that he'd needed to look to know what they were thinking. He's sure Grace was holding back tears—though in twenty-four hours' time, he suspects her sadness will give way to red-hot anger. Rigsby, on the other hand, probably looked flummoxed, as though he couldn't wrap his head around the situation. And Cho—
There's a noise from the hallway, and Jane realizes the door to the corridor has been opened. A few seconds later, footsteps echo down the hall. Jane looks up from his spot on the ground as Cho approaches. He stands across from Jane, staring at him through the chain link wall.
Cho pauses slightly before sitting down, mirroring Jane's posture. He doesn't say a word.
Jane knows the interrogation technique, but he's helpless against it.
"How is she?"
Cho shrugs. "Destroyed, distraught, devastated, shattered—"
"I get it, thanks," says Jane, knowing that Cho, a walking thesaurus, could go on and on. He leans back against the wall, resting his head against the cool bricks. "And the others?"
"We don't know what to think," says Cho. "Grace stormed out of the building when she found out, and Rigsby has been staring into the refrigerator for the last ten minutes."
"And you?"
"I'm hoping you have a hell of a good reason for what you did."
Jane looks away. "I thought I did," he admits. "Maybe I was wrong."
"Why didn't you tell Lisbon? She said she couldn't get you to talk on the ride over here."
"Anything I could tell her would just hurt her more."
Cho gives him an exasperated look. Or at least Jane thinks the man is exasperated. It's always hard to tell with Cho, he thinks.
"You gave him information in exchange for keeping Lisbon safe," deduces Cho.
"Not just Lisbon," says Jane. "He agreed to stay away from you, from Grace, from Rigsby. And from your families."
Jane almost swears he sees Cho's expression soften. But then the agent's face becomes unreadable once more.
"Look," Jane continues. "I don't want her to have to interrogate me, so I'll confess to you right now. The information you think I gave to Red John—well, I did. I'm guilty. But to keep Lisbon protected—to keep all of you protected—I can't say any more. I'm not going to make a deal, and I don't want a lawyer. So put me in jail. I don't care. But besides my confession, you won't get any information out of me. Because saying anything else would be signing Lisbon's death certificate."
Cho rubs a hand over his face in frustration. He is silent for so long that Jane looks away again, dropping his forehead to his hands.
"How could you do this to yourself?" asks Cho finally. "This choice is about the cruelest form of torture I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot."
Jane looks up at him but doesn't speak.
Cho nods.
"I never had any doubts about your feelings for her," he says. "But it's reassuring to know for sure."
Jane's answer is a whisper. "I've loved Lisbon in some form since the day I met her. And I will be in love with her until the day I die. Maybe longer, if she's right about what happens after."
Cho nods again. "I know."
"Will you make sure she does, too?" Jane looks sideways, away from Cho and toward the brick wall. "I'm not sure she'll ever get to a point where she can speak to me again. And I can't say I blame her."
Cho stands up and takes two steps toward the chain link wall. "Yeah," he says. "I'll make sure she knows. Though I think she already does."
"Thank you." There's no possible way Jane can convey his gratitude to his former teammate in those two words, but he does try.
Cho seems to notice. "I'll look after her. Even if she kicks my ass for trying."
Jane can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips, but the effect is belied by the tears staining his vision. He nods, unable to respond. More tears sting his eyes, and he blinks as Cho heads down the hall.
He can no longer control his breathing, and he slips into taking short, sharp breaths. He employs every biofeedback trick he knows to prevent himself from hyperventilating.
And so, in an icy holding cell, the last pieces of his world fall apart.
He's not sure how he manages to fall asleep.
But he does, at least for a few hours. He glances at his watch at half past three in the morning after hearing the telltale sound of the door to the corridor open once more.
The door to his cell is opened by a security guard he's only seen in passing, a man he's never spoken to. Jane knows immediately that this is one of Carter's people.
Jane sits up. "You're taking me to him?"
"Would you rather stay here?"
Jane stands.
The CBI is empty at this hour, for which Jane is grateful. They cross the lobby, and Jane notices that the lights from the security cameras are still on—he wonders if tomorrow Lisbon will see footage of his escape. The thought makes him nauseous. At least now he can guarantee that he will cause her no more pain in the future.
They exit the building and slip under the cover of darkness.