Uhura Walked into a Bar - Volume 1

by The-Watcher-Observes

Sometimes the best defense is a good left hook. Read bar tales of Nyota Uhura - certified badass - and her victims. The Xenophobe Ch-3, The Ex-Wife Ch-5, The Xeno-Psychologist Ch-9, The Ex-Fiancee Ch-13, The Envoy Ch-20, The Career Change Ch-29, The Boys' Club Ch-34, The Swimsuit Calendar with Donal(d) Trump(e) Ch-39. Thanks - *53,000* hits!

17. In Love With a Be-yotch I Can't Stand

Janice represented the second bookend in Jim Kirk's "I-could-marry-this-one-and-settle-down" collection; at the Academy she held the honored position of being Nyota Uhura's only real competition for Jim's long-term affections. This bookend satisfied Kirk's kink for red heads. Everything that attracted Kirk to Uhura - her intellect, her feisty personality, her tenacity, her looks - could be said of Janice Lester. With that body, Kirk had hoped that Uhura would equal Lester's talents behind closed doors, because Jim drew from the Lester sexual well over and over again.

Kirk got the Enterprise in both timelines; in this timeline, though, he and Spock shared the trauma of a parent's death. If his graduation posting was a deep space mission, Kirk wanted to know where Janice Lester figured in. In assigning Uhura to the Enterprise, Spock ensured he'd have a local support team; the next time he deployed, Kirk wanted one too.

23-year-old Janice moved into the number one spot at the Academy when Kirk realized Uhura only had eyes for Spock. He'd gone back to Janice after Nero, looking for something to ground him when the adrenaline wore off, when the cost of defeating the son of a bitch who repeatedly screwed with Kirk's life came due. Frivolous wouldn't satisfy him anymore. Kirk had been close to committing completely. Unfortunately, Janice Lester's one major difference from Nyota Uhura broke Jim's addiction. Uhura never sacrificed Spock on the altar of her Starfleet ambitions. To the contrary, Uhura risked hallway scuttlebutt and questioning glances from Academy professors and students to pursue her relationship with Spock. She'd even talked Kirk into stealing Vulcan medical files to help get Spock through his "fear of flying" period.

Janice Lester, by comparison, loved her career more than she ever loved James T. Kirk. She'd finally driven Kirk away with her jealous rant the night before his commissioning. Alternately screwing him and arguing with him, Janice Lester accused Starfleet of giving Jim the Enterprise because of his testicles, his legendary father and his camera-ready good looks - not his destruction of Nero. No female, she argued, would ever be given a captaincy after a single mission and lacking a Starfleet Academy diploma.

Rough, animal sex followed this revelation, pleasing Janice but upsetting the man who'd considered proposing to her. Kirk pounded her, trying to eradicate his own self-doubt - to no avail. When she passed out from sheer exhaustion, Kirk left a note but no forwarding address.