Saturdays were always crazy. Especially rainy Saturdays, where Max could be up during normal day hours. He took advantage of the current inclimate weather and decided to make the boys some breakfast.
"I WAS WATCHING SPONGE BOB!" Paul screams as Dwayne changes the channel from Nickelodeon to Discovery to watch a rerun of Alaskan Bush People.
"Paul! You know I watch Alaskan Bush People for an hour on Saturday!"
"But I wanna watch Sponge Bob!"
"No! Go play with Marko!"
"But I don't wanna! I wanna watch Sponge Bob!"
"DAD!" David yells from the hallway bathroom.
"What, David?"
"Where the fuck did you put the diapers?! Marko just had an accident!"
"Why wasn't he wearing a diaper, David?!"
"HE IS! IT JUST LEAKED ALL OVER THE PLACE!"
"David, they are in the same spot they always are. The top left drawer in Marko's dresser. Clean your brother up, put him in a fresh diaper and help me with this breakfast!"
"Sorry, David." Marko looks down, ashamed. He didn't like it when David yelled.
"It's not your fault, buddy." David replied with a calm tone. "Lets just get you cleaned up, okay?"
"Okay." Marko replies, still feeling ashamed.
"Don't be embarassed, Marko. It's okay. You can't help it. I'm gonna make everything better. Now wait right here and I'll get you some clean clothes. Can you hold this for me tho?" David asks, handing Marko a soapy washcloth.
David quickly returns with a fresh diaper, a pair of black sweat pants and a black long sleeve CM Punk shirt that was a hand me down from Paul, and still a few sizes too large for Marko, but he loved the shirt anyway.
Five minutes later David smiles at Marko, who was now all cleaned up and dressed.
"All better now, huh?" David smiles.
"Thank you, David." Marko states and looks up at his brother.
"You want uppy?" David asks, and scoops Marko up, before he could even respond.
"Do you think I'm gonna be tall like you?"
"I don't know, Marko!"
"David! Can you please help me with the breakfast?!" Max asks, upon seeing David come into view.
"Gotta put you down now."
"DAVID!" Marko screams. The safest place in the world Marko thought, was in David's arms. He knew his biggest brother wouldn't let anything happen to him.
"After I help Daddy I promise I'll pick you back up! Go play with Paul."
"But... David!"
"Marko Alexander! Do as I say, please." David states, watching as Marko sulks to the living room, and sits down next to Paul who seem to forgot about Sponge Bob, and moved on to playing with his Ninja Turtle toys.
"I don't know how you get Marko to obey you like that." Max states, flipping some eggs over.
"I dunno." David shrugs and puts some bread in the toaster.
"You don't threaten to beat him, do you?" Max asks, an eyebrow raised.
David looks taken aback, offended even.
"No! Look at his face! How could you want to beat that?! Dad! I couldn't even imagine thinking that!"
"I think his mother beat him a lot."
"I don't know how anyone would even want to hurt him. He's too sweet."
"He can be difficult to deal with." Max shrugs.
"Dad! He's still learning! It's not his fault. DWAYNE! YOU HELP WITH THE BREAKFAST!" David yells, and leaves the kitchen in a huff.
As Dwayne enters the kitchen, David sits down on the couch and puts the TV on some old episode of Voltron.
"Come here, Marko." David becons, and pulls Marko up on the couch and into his lap.
"David!" Marko cooes.
"Marko!"
"M-a-r-k-o! Marko!" Paul spells out, and laughs slightly to himself.
"Do you really need to spell out everything, Paul?" David asks, bringing up the channel guide on the TV, quickly growimg tired of the 30 year old anime.
"P-l-a-y-b-o-y c-h-a-n-n-e-l! Playboy Channel!" Paul laughs looking at the TV. "L-i-v-e s-e-x! Life sex? David is that right?"
"Paul!" David blushes and immediately puts the TV on Spongebob.
"DAVID KEIFER! NO WATCHING PORN WITH YOUR LITTLE BROTHERS!" Max screams with intent anger.
"I... I wasn't dad!"
"David! Bill and Ted!" Marko screams, wanting to watch his favorite cartoon, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures. Ever sense Max brought home a copy of it on DVD, Marko had been obsessed. He even wanted to be Bill S Preston, Esquire for halloween.
"You wanna watch Bill and Ted? Paul! Wanna watch Bill and Ted?"
"Yeah!" Paul exclaims, also liking the cartoon.
"Okay, okay." David smiles and puts in the DVD.
"I like Bill." Marko smiles. "He looks like me. When I grow up I'm gonna be Bill S Preston, Esquire!"
"Aiming for the stars, huh Marko?" Dwayne laughs sarcastically from the kitchen.
"Shut up, Dwayne! At least he dosen't wanna be Klaus VonEberhurtzeit! Or whatever that vampire rockstar name is!"
"Alan is a fan of Klaus. I personally think Sepp Spitzerhart is a better character."
"Whatver! It's not like vampires are real." David rolls his eyes.
"You can't be too sure! Just believe, David!"
"We're talking vampires, not Santa."
"Santa isn't real?!" Paul whips his head around and gasps. "I knew it! With a last name like Carla! It couldn't be real!"
"Paul, you don't know what you're even saying. Go back to your toys!"
"Why do you always yell at me, David?!"
"I am not, Paul! But please just behave!"
"Why aren't you telling Marko to behave?!"
"Because Marko is curled up on my lap, watching TV. He isn't doing anything bad."
"Marko never does anything bad! It's always me and Dwanye who get in trouble!" Paul protests, and throws a Ninja Turtle across the room, habing it land in Thorin's dog bed.
"MARKO MARKO MARKO!" Paul screams in a very Cindy Brady like tone.
"PAUL BROOKE!" Max shouts from the kitchen. "THAT'S ENOUGH! MAYBE IF YOU AND DWAYNE BEHAVED YOU TWO WOULDN'T GET IN TROUBLE!"
Max was struggling to not let his vampire side show. He planned on telling the older boys when they turned 16 and 15 respectively, and turning them when they were either 21 or 18.
"Don't drag me into this!" Dwayne raises his hands.
"You spend every other day in detention!" Max reminds Dwayne.
"Well David skips school to go to the beach with Edgar!"
"Really? David, is that true?"
"You are fucking dead, Dwayne!"
"Maybe Marko is the only one who dosen't get into trouble..."
"I don't! I don't even know how!" Paul protests.
"Paul! Damnit! You throw things, you get into things you aren't supposed to! You're like a monkey!" David seethes, being in a bad mood.
"SHUT UP!" Marko screams, really wanting to watch the cartoon in quiet.
"How about all you boys get to the table and eat breakfast." Max sighs and brings the food to the kitchen table.
"But daddy! I wanna watch Bill and Ted!"
"After breakfast, Marko. After breakfast."
"But daddy!"
"Marko, you must eat!"
"You wanna grow up to be like Bill S Preston, Esquire right?" David asks, pulling out Marko's chair.
"Yeah!"
"Well then you need to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner! Bill S Preston, Esquire does!"
"Really?"
"Yes, Marko!"
"I'll eat, okay!"
The family eats the breakfast, leaving nothing untouched- there weren't even any scraps left over for Thorin. It was a nice family meal, and everyone was on their best behavior. Even Paul, who somehow managed to stay still long enough to finish his breakfast, and he even helped washing the dishes!
"Dad!" Dwayne states, walking into the room with his Samsung Galaxy s4 (a hand me down from Max, to David then to Dwayne once Max got the s6, and gave David his old s5) in hand.
"What?"
"Can David and I have Edgar and Alan over for a sleep over tonight?"
"I have to be at the store, but I don't see why not. Just as long as you two can get Paul and Marko cleaned up and ready for bed, and make sure they eat, I think it'll be okay."
"Could you just leave us some money so we can get pizza?"
"Marko dosen't eat pizza, you know that."
"Dad! Marko dosen't eat anything unless its in a bottle or mushed up! Can't the rest of us order a pizza and then just feed Marko a bottle of Carnation Instant Breakfast?"
"I suppose you could." Max sighs and takes out two 20 dollar bills from his wallet.
"When are we gonna start to ween Marko off being mostly bottle fed? It can't be good for his teeth."
"Trust me, Dwayne, I've been trying since I've got custody of him. I think his mother would really hurt him if he tried eating normal foods. You saw how he got when David had that little cracker and cheese thing. Marko looked like he wanted to have one, and then he started to cry because he thought David was going to hurt him. I think I'm gonna have to home school him. Nothing seems to be working with him. He won't eat solid food, I'm hardly making progress in toilet training him, I'm actually surprised that he's learning how to read and write."
"Yeah, but dad, you know it's not Marko's fault. And you would have to know that when you adopted him."
"Yeah, but I thought maybe it would have been different. I thought Marko would have been like you, smart and resourceful. Even when I got you at the age of 2, you had the intellect of a 6 year old."
"Everyone is different." Dwayne smiles.
"You're right. So when are the Frogs coming over?"