Short Story Ratings Warning: T++ for innuendo
Uhura and the Envoy
Spock had been acting weird - even by Spock standards - for weeks. Irritable and short-tempered with subordinates and bridge crew alike, including Uhura, Kirk finally decided to figure out what was wrong when Spock spent 20 minutes arguing about Kirk's choice of pin-on portable comm units over the ear bud style. Knowing full well that the conversation would step over the privacy line, Kirk appeared unannounced at the door to Uhura's quarters anyway looking for answers.
Uhura lamented once again acting as the Rosetta Stone between Kirk and Spock. Whenever one of them had an issue with the other she got consulted. Come to think of it, whenever anything related to Vulcans came up her crew mates sought her out like she had a Vulcan encyclopedia installed in her ear piece. Frustrated at being the "mobile phone" again, she wondered - as she waved Kirk into her quarters - when the questions about Vulcans would actually be addressed to the only Vulcan on the ship.
"Jim, why are you here?" she asked as if she didn't already know.
Jim Kirk's "You're-really-not-that-dumb" expression elicited a sigh from her.
"Alright. I know he's been a little touchy..." she admitted sheepishly.
"Touchy? This is a Vulcan we're talking about. Disciplined. Controlled. Careful. Now I can't tell if I'm talking to Spock or Mccoy. What's going on?"
If she chose to Uhura could explain how, thanks to Kirk's allergy to boredom, they'd been on duty 178 straight days without a break - on different shifts, no less. She could recite the statistics that in 178 duty days Kirk had authorized 149 away teams with Spock or herself as members. Of these 149 missions, Uhura could remind Kirk that Spock returned with serious injuries from 53 of them; Uhura had spent a night or three in Sickbay after 74 of the missions.
If it would clarify matters in Kirk's brain, Uhura could further inform the captain that the last time she and Spock spent any intimate time together as bond mates had been 74 days, 14 hours and somewhere around 29 minutes ago (but who's keeping track?...). The differing shifts were a symptom, not a root cause.
The root cause sat on the couch in her quarters right this minute. James T. Kirk, captain of the Enterprise, refused to work with any other member of her staff.
Uhura did all Kirk's dossier preparation. He trusted no other linguist with final translations. All secure communications encryption and decryption got touched by her. Kirk, who hated to learn even simple phrases in any foreign language, would only practice with Uhura. The captain's haphazard preparation meant he'd insist she accompany him if Spock didn't speak the planet's languages fluently.
Spock's bond mate could lay out for Kirk how his absolute faith in and reliance on his Vulcan First Officer and his genius Chief Communications Officer had ruined the couple's love life. She could describe the sleepless nights and constant distractions when one mate's libidinous subconscious would broadcast its desires during sleep to the other's on-duty mind. Uhura could expound on how the longing and desire got amped so high during these unintentional wet dreams that it affected their competency while on duty - there were drawbacks to being married telepaths. She could reveal that the continued drought caused by their separation required both to shield 24/7 to avoid any mishaps or "conduct unbecoming". She could relate to him how Spock's consuming ardor for her and his constant war to maintain his control almost debilitated her across their link. The Mad Vulcan, Kirk's nickname for Spock back at the Academy, literally drove her and himself crazy with lust every day.
But Uhura didn't elaborate. If Jim Kirk didn't recognize how tightly he'd wound Spock up, her complaints wouldn't improve his understanding. So instead of spelling it out, Uhura recommended Jim contact Spock and ask him what his problem was.
"Jim, if I could fix what's going on do you think I'd be in my quarters instead of his? We're bonded."
Dawning awareness of what that meant shot Kirk's eyebrows straight up.
"Oh! Uh... I didn't consider that."
Rising quickly from the couch Jim Kirk beat a hasty retreat from the truth of his contribution to the problem. Hustling away from Uhura's unspoken incriminations, Kirk almost banged into the doors before they opened sufficiently to let him pass.