Sleeping that night was difficult. Dean's mind was so full of jumbled up thoughts that raced around his head, he found it almost impossible to settle even if he was back in his own bed and it was nearing four in the morning before he even felt a twinge of tiredness. However that twinge of tiredness did nothing to stop the steady slew of thoughts whirling around in his brain.
If there was a tense atmosphere between the two brothers the following morning Jo didn't mention it as she flitted around the kitchen making breakfast. Normally Dean didn't let her go anywhere near the kitchen apart from to make coffee. The one time Jo had tried to make dinner, three days after she'd moved in, she managed to burn three saucepans, a towel and a spatula.
"Dean I swear if you don't stop hovering over me I'm going to stab you with a butter knife." Jo threatened after Dean had been watching her make breakfast for at least half an hour.
"Of all the thing you could stab in him with you could probably find something sharper than a butter knife." Sam commented from where he was perched by the coffee machine. Dean shot him a harsh look for a moment before he went back to overseeing Jo's destruction of the kitchen and frying pans.
"It's blunter, it would inflict more pain." Jo said far too breezily when the subject matter was stabbing Dean. "Dude is this bacon cooked?"
"Yeah Jo I'd say the crispy mess that's closer to charcoal than breakfast is cooked." Dean replied as he grabbed a plate to shovel the charcoal mess onto. "Good thing I like it crispy." He added. "Sammy there's a bowl of fruit in the refrigerator, you wanna grab it?" Dean said. It was probably a bit pathetic that the first real words he'd spoken to his brother were about a damn bowl of fruit but Sam would only bitch about the lack of healthy food on the table. Sam didn't say anything, he just nodded his head, but his small smile told Dean that things weren't entirely fucked up between them.
They sat down to breakfast, which included burnt bacon and undercooked scramble egg but at least the fruit was edible, and maybe the air was still frosty but both Dean and Jo were too happy over the prospect of a full day off to say anything. Dean did however keep an eye on Sam as he ate. The medication Sam had to take every day, the medication he had taken ever since he was a small child, couldn't be taken on an empty stomach and he normally took it at breakfast. The small pill and glass of water Dean had grown up seeing at the breakfast table were nowhere in sight. Dean was about to give Sam a very pointed look when Jo spoke up.
"I've been thinking…" Jo said.
"Well there's a first for everything I guess."
"Very funny you jackass. I was thinking that we should have a party tonight."
"Why would I agree to that?" Dean asked as he pulled a piece of eggshell out of his scrambled eggs. Yeah, he was never agreeing to let Jo cook for a while. Ellen Harvelle's cooking skills obviously hadn't been passed down to Jo.
"Because your, not so, little brother is here and he could meet Charlie and the others." Charlie
"Where?" Dean asked dubiously.
"At the apartment, where else would we have a party?" Jo asked rolling her eyes. "It could be fun! We could invite Charlie and that lot and some of the other interns and I could show off my cocktail making skills. Come on, back home my Alabama Slammer's are the talk of the town!"
"I'm not having a load of people traipsing through my apartment." Dean said. Jo's eyebrows shot up faster than he thought possible.
"Oh stop being such a boring old shit, it could be fun." Jo said. "Hey Sam, you wanna meet Charlie and the others tonight?"
"Yeah…sure. I mean Dean hasn't told me much about them but they sound cool to me." Sam said with a shrug.
"See Dean, your brother is up for it." Jo said smugly.
"Fine but if anyone throws up in here then you're cleaning it up." Dean said. Jo's grin was so smug it was unreal and she sauntered off to the spare room to no doubt ring Charlie and Sarah. Once she was out the room Dean rounded on Sam with a firm look.
"What?" Sam asked between mouthfuls of fruit.
"Where are your meds?" Dean asked nodding down at the table which was decidedly medication free. Sam rolled his eyes and carried on eating. "Sam you're supposed to take them at breakfast." He pressed.
"And I'm going to." Sam said once again rolling his eyes. "I just didn't want to take them in front of Jo so let it go already."
"You better be taking them at college or I'm gonna be pissed, you can't screw around with your medication." Dean said firmly. Sam held Dean's determined look for as long as he could before he looked away, his cheeks slowly going red. They finished breakfast in silence and Dean cleared away the kitchen while Sam, supposedly, went off to take his medication.
Once the kitchen was cleared Dean changed out of his sweatpants and into whatever was clean. He and Jo really needed to do some laundry sometime soon or he'd run out of clothes by Tuesday.
"Dean…about last night." Sam said as soon as Dean walked into the living room.
"Sam let's just leave it. You both said shitty things to each other and I'm sorry. We really don't have to talk about it."
"So are you going to talk to Michael?" Sam asked. Dena couldn't help but wince because Sam really wasn't going to let this drop.
"When I have a chance and I've thought about some stuff ok?" he said. "I'll be back soon, I need to go to the hospital for about an hour tops."
"Isn't it your day off today?" Sam asked sounding far too suspicious for Dean's liking.
"Yeah but I need to finish off some charting and paperwork, it won't take me very long. I'll be back soon and then you're gonna tell me all about this girl you've got a big ol' crush on." Dean said as he grabbed his jacket and car keys.
"I don't have a 'big ol' crush' on Jess." Sam said. "She's...she's this girl studying at Stanford with me. She's cool but I don't have a 'crush' on her." Yeah Sam could keep telling himself that but his red cheeks gave the whole thing away.
"The hearts in your eyes when you say her name told me otherwise dude." Dean retorted with a triumphant grin.
"What like the look you get when you talk about your resident Cas?" Sam asked and the triumphant grin slid of Dean's face as quickly as it appeared. What a little shit…
"I'm not even going to get into this again." Dean said resisting the urge to throw something at Sam's head. "Now do me a favour and keep an eye on Jo will you? Giving her full reign over this place scares me shitless." He added because there was no telling what state the apartment would in once he got back home. Half the pans would probably be burnt and all the milk replaced with vodka. Actually Dean wouldn't mind the latter, it would make his cereal more interesting in the mornings for one thing.
When he said that he had paperwork that needed to be done there might have been a possibility that Dean fabricating. It was less paperwork and more 'just sign your name so these charts can be filed'. He could have done it during his next shift but if Dean was being honest he wanted a reason to go into the hospital. Castiel was, like always, in his small office on the cardio wing with his head bury deep in a book. It took several loud coughs from Dean before Castiel even looked up. He gave Dean a small smile and lay his book aside.
"Dean, I thought you had the day off today to spend it with your brother. Is everything alright?" Cas questioned.
"Yeah everything's fine. I just came in so I could finish off some charts I didn't get round to yesterday." Dean said. As he watched Cas roll his eyes in a friendly way Dean went over and over what he was about to say in his head. He could back out, and probably regret it but not get grief off the other interns, or he could grow a damn pair and not care about what others thought for once in his life.
Castiel's brow furrowed and Dean had assume he was making the same stressed face he made whenever he was deep in thought. "Are you sure everything is alright?" he asked.
"Yeah…so listen, Jo's been nagging at me to have a party at the apartment tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come…to the party tonight I mean." Dean said finally deciding to grow a pair. "I mean you don't have to if you don't want to but my brother's in town visiting and it could be fun but like I said I totally understand of you don't want come." He added with a stammer which made him sound like a bashful teenager more than anything.
"You're inviting me?" Castiel asked.
"Well yeah...I mean we're friends so why wouldn't I?" Dean asked. Castiel shrugged which was all sorts of infuriating but Dean let it slide. "You don't have to come if you don't want to." He added because Cas was probably trying to think of about fifty different reasons as to why he shouldn't go.
"I do want to go…I mean, yes I'd like to go. Jo and the other interns wouldn't mind if I was there?"
"Probably not but they can't really say anything if they do seeing as it's my apartment." Dean said jokingly but he could see the worry in Cas' eyes. "Cas we're friends, I want you there and it would be cool for you to meet Sam." Dean said firmly. Cas gave him a relieved look and smiled the smile that made his eyes crinkle. Man that smile was one of the best things in the world according to Dean. "The party's starting at eight so I'll guess I'll see you then."
"I look forward to it Dean, thank you." Castiel said and damn if Dean didn't spend the whole time thinking about Cas' smile when he was signing charts.
The kitchen looked more like a liqueur store by the time Dean got back home and Jo was clearly in her element to be surrounded by countless bottles of alcohol. Nearly every surface was covered in bottles ranging from beers to spirits to mixers and Jo had even tracked down actual cocktail mixers. Dean hadn't seen Jo smile like that since a patient had thrown up all over Ruby.
"So there is no chance of you buying groceries for the next week is there?" Dean asked as he looked around the kitchen.
"Shut up, these are vital for tonight." Jo retorted.
"How did you even manage to fill the kitchen with booze?" Dean asked picking up a bottle of vodka. "I was at the hospital for an hour tops."
"I'm a woman of many talents." Was Jo's reply. "Want me to fix you up with a Lynchburg Lemonade?" she asked.
"What's in it?"
"Whiskey-"
"Sold." Dean said.
"One Lynchburg Lemonade for the dick who invited Novak." Jo said as she picked up various bottles.
"How the hell…how do you know I invited Cas?"
"Because you had no reason to go into the hospital and don't give me the same shit you gave Sam over having to do paperwork or shit like that." Jo said. She set to work making Dean's drink before she looked over at Dean and gave him a very pointed look. "You invited him because you want his inhibitions lowered so you might have a chance to score."
"Yeah that's it Jo, you've seen through my clever plan. I'm going to ply Cas with alcohol so I can have my way with him at a party for my brother." Dean said completely deadpan. Jo rolled his eyes and carried on making Dean his drink. "What's your fascination with my sex life anyway?" Dean asked.
"It's non-existent for one thing."
"Yeah, and when was the last time you had sex?"
"Last week, so there." Jo said smugly.
"Please tell me it wasn't with Adam." Dean said.
"It wasn't, don't be gross. It was the hot radiologist on the fifth floor." Jo said grinning. "Does your brother know you invited Dr Douchebag?" she added.
"Who's Dr Douchebag?" Sam asked coming into the kitchen, running a towel through his wet hair. "Holy shit Jo, I was in the shower for ten minutes. How has the kitchen turned into a bar?"
"Jo was dragged up in dive bar." Dean said smirking.
"Fuck you, it was a great bar!" Jo said smacking Dean on the arm. "Dr Douchebag is Cas, your brother is trying to lower his inhibitions." She added handing Dean his drink.
"No, right now I'm picturing how I'm gonna push you off the roof." Dean shot back.
"Whatever, you've been threatening me with that since I moved in." Jo said. "You don't have the guts."
"Can you even get up into the roof?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, there's a door at the end of the hall." Dean said. Funnily enough he hadn't actually been up on the roof since he moved in though that could be to do with the piss poor weather. "That's not the point here though."
"No the point is that you're trying to get into Novak's pants." Jo said gleefully. Dean glared over at her but didn't say anything because no matter what he said Jo wouldn't listen to him. "Sam you can keep watch tonight, if your brother tries to lure me up to the roof you can tackle him to the ground."
By nine o'clock that evening the apartment was full of interns and nurses from the hospital. Music blared out from the speakers in the living room and both Jo and Dean's bartending skills were being out to good use.
"Hello Dean." A deep voice said making Dean spin round quickly. Castiel stood in front of him with a nervous looking smile. "This is some party."
"Hey…yeah I think Jo invited half the hospital." Dean said. "Come on, I wanna introduce you to Sammy." He added nodding across the room to where Sam was talking animatedly with Adam.
"Lead the way." Cas said.
With the same quantity of nervous butterflies he felt when he first introduced Michael to his family (and he needed to stop thinking like that now) Dean guided Cas through the room, reached out and tapped Sam on the shoulder.
"Yo Sammy, this is Cas." He said motioning to Castiel. A wide smile lit up Sam's face as he turned to face Castiel while Adam looked like he was about to wet himself. The poor guy was still terrified of Cas.
"Wow, it's really cool to meet you." Sam said reaching out and shaking Cas' hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you too Sam." Cas said warmly. "Dean has told me a lot about you. How are your studies going?"
"Do you brag about me to everyone?" Sam asked rounding on Dean with an exasperated look. Dean just grinned back because he'd never stop bragging about his genius little brother. "They're really good thanks." Sam said replying to Cas' question. "It's hard but I love the work so it's no
"My sister Anna trained to be a lawyer at Harvard for a semester. That was before she decided that travelling around South East Asia for three years was more her style." Cas said with a small chuckle that indicated he wasn't even remotely annoyed by his sister's actions.
"South East Asia?" Sam asked.
"Yes, she travelled through there then moved on to Europe. She updates me every now and then with her shenanigans." Cas said, still grinning.
"Yeah don't get any ideas Sam, you're by ticket outta any sticky situations." Dean said with a chuckle.
"For the last time Dean, I am not helping you pass off throwing Jo from the roof for 'Saucepan Destruction' related reasons." Sam said rolling his eyes. "For a guy who's eaten from more than one questionable roadside burger joint Dean's got some serious issues with his kitchen crap." Sam said with a roll of his eyes.
"Hey you can't beat roadside burgers." Dean said. "Want a drink Cas?"
"I head 'drink'!" Jo said sidling up to them. "Hey Sam, want a Multiple System Organ Failure?" Jo asked holding up a bright blue drink complete with several wedges of fruit, a straw and a cocktail umbrella.
"What exactly goes into a Multiple System Organ Failure?" Cas asked dubiously looking at the drink as Sam took it from Jo's hand without any complaints.
"Glad to know you're our resident Cas." Dean said with a grin that widened when Cas gave him the most exaggerated eye roll he'd seem on anyone that wasn't Sam.
"Vodka, gin, rum, two kinds of tequila, another kind of gin, a double shot of whiskey and blueberry liqueur to help with the flavour." Jo listed off proudly.
"Is that all?" Cas asked sarcastically while Dean howled with laughter over Sam's face. The blueberry liqueur clearly didn't help with the taste.
"If you throw up you're sleeping in the shower." Dean said as Sam's face went a very pale colour.
"He'll be fine! Charlie's had three and she's great." Jo said. The last one Dean had seen Charlie she'd been dancing on the coffee table and singing some awful pop song. Jo's definition of 'great' was not the same as Dean's if it included Charlie's shoes denting his table.
"The shower would probably be more comfortable than the couch." Sam
"I am going to agree with Sam's statement. Dean if it's the last thing I do I will make you replace that crippling thing. I will purchase you one when you've passed your intern exam." Cas said.
"The faith is strong in this one." Jo said.
"He's one of my interns. You're all passing whether you like it or not." Cas said with determination.
"Even Adam?" Sam asked. Sam was well informed on the various Adam related stories.
"Even if it kills me." Cas chuckled.
"Try not to die, I quite like having you around." Dean blurted out. Jo's eyebrows shot up almost as quickly as Sam's but the grateful smile on Cas' face was the only thing that matter.
It was past midnight and the party was, for no better word, ridiculous. Charlie and Sarah were belting out awful pop songs along with several other interns that Dean recognised from the hospital. Jo was hopping all over the place with various brightly coloured cocktails, all with miniature cocktail umbrellas that Dean didn't even know where in the apartment. Jo must have brought them earlier on in the day when she singlehandedly turned the place into a replica bar. Adam was dancing, though it really couldn't be called dancing, with one of the scrub nurses. Ruby of all people was deep in conversation with Sam and Dean made a mental note to keep an eye on her, more for Sam's sake than anyone else's.
"Novak seems to be enjoying himself." Jo said appearing at Dean's side and pressing a drink into his hand. He nodded his head with thanks and knocked back the drink. Thankfully it wasn't one of Jo's liver destroying cocktails but a double of Johnnie Walker. "He's been talking to that scrub nurse for the past half an hour." Jo added nodding towards the doorway to the kitchen. Dean followed her direction and stopped when he saw what Jo had been talking about.
She was tall, almost as tall as Castiel was and Dean recognised her from the hospital. She was one of the regular scrub nurses in Castiel procedures but as far as Dean knew they never spoke to one another. The woman smiled as Cas leant closer in order to be heard over the thumping music.
A dark sick feeling in Dean's stomach twisted itself into a furious knot. The woman was standing too close to Cas, her chest practically pressed against his as she laughed along with something Cas had just said. Everything about her stance, the look she was giving Cas and the way she was holding onto her drink screamed 'flirtatious'.
"Admit it, you're jealous." Jo said but she voice wasn't accusatory at all, if anything it was soft and pitying. "It sucks doesn't it? You should just tell him or it's going to hurt like a bitch sooner than later." She added refilling Dean's empty glass. It was stupid and his head would hurt like a bitch in the morning but Dean knocked back another double shot of whiskey and tried to ignore Jo's words. "Dean?"
"I'm gonna get some air ok? Whiskey probably wasn't the best idea. Keep an eye on Sammy for me. He's too pure to let Ruby's claws dig into him." Dean said placing his glass down onto the nearest table and grabbed a beer instead.
"Dean-"
"I'm fine Jo, I just to get some air. I'll be back down soon." Dean said waving away Jo's concern.
Opening the door that lead up to the roof Dean took the stairs two steps at a time. Out up on the Chicago wind was even more fierce but it wasn't strong enough to warrant going back down into the packed out apartment. The sooner he was away from the apartment the better. He couldn't stand and watch as Cas talked to some random nurse or have Jo making obvious remarks or pitying faces at him.
He had developed feelings for Castiel. There was no possible way to avoid it anymore because then Dean would just be lying to himself. He'd spend so many years during high school and college lying to himself and he once he'd accepted things about himself he'd grown as a person. Now he had to accept that his feelings for Castiel weren't just those of friendship. Seeing Castiel with someone had sent such painful shards of jealously ripping through Dean's body that he had to admit his feelings weren't those of friendship anymore.
Keeping a tight hold on his beer Dean made his way across the roof toward small bench that overlooked most of the city. On a clear but cold night like this there were very little clouds. He could just make out the hospital in the distance. He'd been at the hospital for nearly two months and in that time he'd gained friends, a roommate and he had witnessed so many different life saving procedures. Moving to Chicago and becoming an intern at the hospital had been such a big decision but now Dean couldn't imagine his life any differently.
He wasn't sure how long he spent sitting on the bench, sporadically drinking his beer and looking out across the skyline, but it helped. He helped calm whatever feelings were swirling around inside his body and threatened to spill out. How could he be so stupid? Developing a crush on a resident was such a stupid cliché and it would do Dean no good in the long run. The safest thing to do was to pretend that his feelings weren't there. Yes he could stay friends with Cas was long as he acted upon his feelings.
Basically he was completely fucked and had no one to blame but himself.
"It looks like your crafty hiding place has been discovered." A deep voice called out making Dean jump nearly a foot into the air. He spun round but felt a relaxed smile spread across his face when he saw it was Cas with a beer bottle in his hand. Dean had to stop doing that, he had had to stop his whole body from feeling lighter by the mere sight of Cas. "You don't mind me disturbing your peace and quiet do you?"
"Nah, it's cool." Dean said trying to sound nonchalant. "The party get too much for you?"
"Yes, I must admit that I'm not the greatest person to have at a party. I prefer smaller gatherings to large ones." Cas said walking over and sitting down next to Dean on the bench. Dean placed his bottle of beer onto the floor because having even more alcohol in his system with Cas so close to him wasn't a good idea at all. "Is that why you're up here?"
How could Dean say that he was up on the roof moping because he'd seen Cas talking and laughing with some scrub nurse? It would sound stupid and completely ridiculous but maybe Dean was being ridiculous. He had no claim on Castiel whatsoever and they were just friends. They would only ever be just friends as well.
"Um...yeah. Yeah you could say that." Dean lied in what he hoped was a convincing manner. "You seemed to be having fun though." He said before he could stop himself. Cas' brow furrowed at Dean's comment. He had no right to feel jealous. No right at all so why was that feeling of resentment rippling through him.
"I was talking to one of the nurses who is many of my procedures but apart from that I mainly stood at the side hoping that none of the interns would glare at me. I would much rather be out here to be honest, it's more quiet and there is less chance of being forced to drink one of Jo Harvelle's cocktails. The blue one is disgusting." Cas said. His cheeks pinked and Dean had the crazy urge to reach out a stroke the patch of soft looking skin under Cas' cheekbone. Whatever Jo had been putting in his drinks was stronger than Dean would have thought.
"They wouldn't...the interns wouldn't be asses to you. I told Jo to be on her best behaviour."
"Because your brother is visiting?" Castiel questioned innocently.
"No because I didn't want anyone to upset you." Dean admitted.
"Why would you worry about that?" Cas asked. God, for a genius surgeon the guy really needed things spelling out.
"Because we're friends and I care about you." Dean said. He'd definitely drunk too many beers as he'd clearly lost the filter between his brain and his mouth either that or he no longer cared about what he said.
"I...thank you Dean..." Cas stammered out. "That means a lot…your friendship means a lot to me." His voice rang out with honesty and all but stopped Dean's heart from beating.
It took every ounce of self-restraint Dean had to not close the distance between him and Cas. His skin was beginning to burn with the need to be closer to Castiel, to feel the soft pressure of lips against his own. He couldn't do it though. This was Cas. Cas was his friend and he couldn't disrespect not only his friend but his resident by making a pass at him. A slightly drunken pass at that.
"We should go back down to the apartment. I'm being a shitty host." Dean said pulling his eyes away from Cas.
"You seem less than thrilled about going back down there." Cas said.
"Yeah well loud parties were never really my thing either, I mean they were fun and all in college but smaller ones were always better." Dean said. Bela had always thrown the best parties when they were at Yale. There was never too many people and she never bitched when Dean and Michael left early. She only never pressed life threatening blue drinks into your hands.
"I should probably being going, I have a coronary artery bypass graft tomorrow that I should prepare for." Cas said rising up from the bench gracefully. He looked over at Dean, biting his lip as he did so. Damn he was going to be the end of Dean even if he never realised it. "I was…wait never mind."
"No, what were you going to say?" Dean asked frowning ever so as he watched Castiel continue to chew gently on his lower lip.
"Well I feel bad about leaving you here when you're not one of big parties. You could come back to my house for coffee if you wanted to. You offered me a place to sleep the first time we went to the bar after all." Castiel said. "At least this way you don't have to witness anyone passing out on your coffee table or throwing up in the shower."
"That is true…you don't mind?" Dean asked trying so hard to ignore how his heart was all but slamming against his rib cage with nerves.
"Not at all, you've made it clear that we're friends Dean and this is what friends do for one another." Cas said shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. Dean's chest swelled at Cas' gesture though it just made it even harder to not close that small distance between them.
Instead he followed Cas across the roof and said "Thanks Cas, I appreciate it."
The apartment Cas owned was a twenty minute walk away from Dean's own apartment. Despite the cold wind neither of them noticed as they kept up a steady conversation as they walked. Charlie and Sarah's karaoke prowess under the influence of Jo's lethal cocktails was something of an amazement to both Dean and Castiel. Dean was in the middle of telling Cas the story of the time Sam got spectacularly drunk at a karaoke bar and rapped 'Baby Got Back' word perfectly when Castiel opened the door to his apartment and switched on the light. Dean stopped and his eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"Wow...this is...not what I expected at all." Dean said as he walked into Cas' apartment. The guy was so straight laced and clinical at work so Dean assumed that his apartment would be the same. Instead it was a riot of...well clutter. Shelves upon shelves of books took up most of the wall space in the living room. Said walls were all painted a deep but warm red colour instead of the cream Dean though they would be. The wall space that wasn't used up by the book shelves housed framed art prints or various degrees by the looks of it and the most prominent seemed to be Cas' diploma from Harvard Medical School.
"The hospital is like my home away from home, I feel perfectly at home when I'm in the OR, but I never liked my actual home to feel like the hospital." Cas said pulling off his coat and throwing it onto the nearest couch. Dean wasn't going to lie, it looked like the most comfortable couch in the history of couches. No wonder Cas had some resentment towards Dean's couch. "I tend to nest so this apartment is rather cluttered I'm afraid."
"No shit, you could rival the public library." Dean said nodding at the book shelves. "Well the research library." He added noting that most of the books were medical journals. That really wasn't a surprise seeing as Cas was one of the most talented residents in the hospital, of course he would read shitloads of medical journals. Dean's room back at med school had looked very similar except Cas' space lacked the Metallica posters and empty beer bottles. "And I thought my place was bad."
"I like your apartment, I find it very cosy when it's not full of drunken interns." Cas said. "I don't have a spare bed to offer you, this is only a one bedroom apartment but my couch is far more comfortable than yours."
"Show off." Dean muttered. Honestly he was starting to feel total empathy for his poor old couch which probably meant he'd drunk too much. "Thanks for this...letting me come back with you I mean. I know I should be using this time to catch up with Sam but I can't really do that with him downing Jo's lethal cocktails."
"As a medical practitioner I really should try and stop her before she causes your brother to die of liver failure." Cas said shaking his head.
"See this is why the interns are afraid to party with you Doctor." Dean said.
"And you? You're not afraid?" Cas asked with a cocked eyebrow and damn if that didn't send a pang straight through Dean's stomach. Sarcastic attractive bastard...
"You're forgetting I saw you passed out on my couch, you don't scare me anymore."
"Clearly I'm not doing my job right." Cas shot back with that damn eyebrow still raised. If whatever this was didn't stop right now then Dean was going to do something he wouldn't regret in the morning but probably should like kissing the ever loving fuck outta Cas. "So can I interest you in that coffee?"
"Um…yeah sure." Dean said wincing at how stupid he sounded. For fuck sake, he was the top of his freaking class at Yale. He shouldn't been stammering like a moron over coffee of all things. Cas gave him a warm smile and motioned for Dean to follow him into a small but very well stocked kitchen. Cas' kitchen was, like the rest of the apartment, incredibly warm looking and full of small knick-knacks.
Dean watched as Cas pottered around the kitchen making coffee. He looked just as at home as he did in the operating rooms back at the hospital. The room quickly filled up with the rich smell of coffee and Dean rested against the countertop as he looked around the kitchen. A large noticeboard hung on the wall with most of the space being used up by hospital related paperwork but there was also several photos of Cas with two people Dean assumed were his siblings. The largest was a photo of a smiling Castiel stood between a sorter man with lighter hair and a willowy looking woman with dark red hair.
"Your siblings?"
"What?" Castiel asked looking over to the noticeboard. "Oh yes, that's Gabriel and Anna. I think that photo was taken the last time we were all together in New York. That was about two years ago before Anna moved to Italy. She had come back to the US for a few weeks before heading off again."
"I lived in Connecticut for like four years but never actually went to New York City, I never had the time." Dean said.
"It's very big, very noisy and the taxi drivers are quite manic. You're not missing out on much." Castiel said with a chuckle as he handed Dean a large mug of coffee. Dean gave him a thankful smile and went back to looking at the noticeboard. Most of the photos were of Castiel with his siblings but a few were of younger looking Castiel with a blonde guy, both of them always smiling in the photos. "That's Balthazar, he was my best friend at Harvard. He lives in England now, he's a surgeon in London." Castiel said.
"You guys looked close."
"We were, well we still are. We email each other every week and Balthazar spent a few days over here during the summer. He's very much like the brother I wish Gabriel was."
"Gabriel wasn't a good brother?"
"Oh he was but Balthazar would never put itching powder in my underwear on the day of my SATS." Castiel said. "I got him back though, I gave him laxative chocolate on his birthday." He added smugly.
"And I thought Sammy and I were bad." Dean said between snorts of laughter. Cas laughed along with him as they walked back into the living room.
"I like Sam, he seems like a very good brother."
"He's not all bad. He's mooning over some girl back at Stanford by the sounds of it. If he's telling me about her then he's probably smitten even if he won't admit it anyone."
"Or he fears that you would take the piss out of him."
"I would never!" Dean cried with mock outrage. "At least I'd stop after about a week or so. Nah, the kid is great and I couldn't be more proud of him. He's gonna graduate top of his class, marry some knockout girl and have 2.5 kids somewhere in the Midwest after becoming a kickass lawyer."
"And you? What about you?"
"I'll be an intern until I pass my exam, figure out what I want to specialise in while I'm a resident, pass my boards and be a fully qualified surgeon."
"I meant outside the hospital."
"Is it possible to have a life outside the hospital?" Dean joked.
"I like to think so." Cas said with a smile.
"Well yeah I'd like to meet someone." Dean said looking away from Cas because if he didn't then he knew he'd blush bright red. "I guess if it happens then it happens." He added with a shrug. He heard Cas let out a quiet chuckle and looked back towards him. Once again there was that urge to close the space between them and Dean all but dug his nails into his palm to stop himself.
"If it happens it happens…" Cas repeated quietly, his eyes lowering to Dean's lips. Shit. Dean dug his nails even deeper into his palm, his other hand gripping onto the hot coffee mug. They had somehow moved closer to one another and Dean was sure Cas could hear his heart pounding loudly for it was all he could hear. That was until he remember that this was Cas. This was Cas. Pulling back Dean coughed loudly and looked away from the other man's stupidly blue eyes. "You'd should probably get some sleep…you've got a surgery tomorrow." Dean said. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Cas nod his head.
"Yes, you're right…I shall get you a blanket." He said stiffly as he stood up and placed his coffee mug on the nearby coffee table. Cas left Dean alone for a moment and when he returned there was a large blanket in his hands. He handed Dean the blanket with a tight smile. "Goodnight Dean, I shall see you in the morning."
"Yeah…see you in the morning Cas." Dean said. Cas nodded his head and swiftly left the room. "Fuck." Dean groaned out as he leant back against the couch. "You fucking moron Dean Winchester."
It barely felt like he had any sleep before Dean was being woken up by a hand gently shaking his shoulder. Dean groaned sleepily as he opened his eyes to see Cas stood over him, dressed in just a t-shirt, jeans and a hooded jacket.
"What time is it?" Dean grumbled as he rubbed his eyes. It was still dark outside and the warning signs of a hangover were all there.
"It's just gone past six. I'm sorry to wake you but I'm being paged to the hospital with an emergency. They think it's surgical and I wondered if you wanted to scrub in with me. We'll have to get there as soon as possible to beat the ambulance." Cas said. He leant away from the couch in order to pull a coat on, wrapping a scarf around his neck while Dean pulled himself up off the couch. "I made coffee for the drive over there. Extra strong with no sugar." He added. Whatever had happened last night was clearly being forgotten and Dean was entirely grateful.
"Thank you" Dean groaned out sleepily. "Man I see what you mean about my couch, yours is like a freaking cloud." He added as he stretched out.
"Are you still partially asleep?" Castiel asked.
"Nah, just let me get some coffee and I'll be good." Dean said accepting the travel mug of coffee from Cas. "What's the emergency?"
"I'm not sure but we need to get into the hospital as soon as we can. That's if you want to come with me." Castiel said gingerly.
"Of course I do. If there's a choice between kickass surgery with you and cleaning up my shithole of an apartment with Sammy and Jo. That's if her cocktails didn't kill them both." Dean said grinning over at Cas.
They slid into Cas' car, coffees firmly in hand and for once Dean didn't care about not being the one to drive. He'd have to grab some headache pills before the pressure in his head actually turned into a full on headache.
They met the paramedics as soon as they entered the ER. Neither Dean nor Cas had even changed into their scrubs yet but Cas soon slipped into his 'Resident Cas' mode.
"Ok what happened?" he asked a nearby paramedic.
"Patient is sixteen year old Krissy Chambers. She was brought after she collapsed during a volleyball tournament." The paramedic called out. Cas nodded and took the chart from another paramedic.
"Ok I'll get my scrubs on and then we can figure out what is going on." Cas said glancing over at Dean. "Are you with me?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow. There was some resentment in the look he gave Dean, he must not have been over whatever happened between them the night before.
"Yeah, yeah I'm with you." Dean said somewhat downcast. Sarah of all people appeared as if out of nowhere though by the looks of it she probably wished she was still in bed.
"Crowley wants a neurological exam to rule out any possibility of an aneurysm." Sarah said to Castiel.
"It could be a cardio thing though, why else would Cas be brought in?" Dean asked. Sarah rolled her eyes but nodded.
"Fine but if it's not a 'cardio thing' then she can go for a neuro exam." Sarah said. Cas nodded and went off to grab the necessary forms.
"What state is my apartment in?" Dean asked Sarah.
"How are you even alive this morning? Or did you stay away from Jo's cocktails?" Sarah asked with sinking shoulders.
"I stuck to the beer." Dean said with smirk.
"I wish I had done the same. There's far too many incriminating videos of me and Charlie singing along to the Spice Girls."
"Now I'm really worrying about the state of my apartment."
"It's fine, don't worry. Jo is still passed out but I think your brother is cleaning at the moment. Your disappearance didn't go unnoticed by the way. Did you sleep here to try and get to the good surgeries or something like that?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, something like that." Dean shrugged.
"I wish I'd done the same thing now." Sarah said with a quick smile.
"Dean, we're ready for the cardio exam." Cas called out. "Get your scrubs on and meet me up there." Dean gave Castiel a nod and hurried off to put his scrubs on.
The problem with Krissy chambers turned out to be both a cardio issue and surgical. They took her into surgery as soon as possible and Cas operated on her for nearly eight hours until he was convinced she was ok. She want sent to the ICU until she woke up and Dean was left to talk to her frantic parents. Once that ordeal was over Dean sent a text message to Sam to meet him in the hospital cafeteria for lunch otherwise he wouldn't see his brother before he went back to California.
"So tell me about Jess." Dean said as he poured ketchup on to his fries. He and Sam were sat in the middle of the cafeteria and Dean's legs were grateful to not be stood up for once that day.
"She's in a few of my classes and we met in Political Science." Sam said. "She's awesome Dean, you'd really like her. She's really smart, funny and doesn't take any crap from anyone."
"Jesus, talk about smitten. You asked her out yet?" Dean asked smirking at Sam's bright red cheeks. "Come on Sammy, you really like the girl so just ask her. Unless she's out of your league then you'll need all the help you can get."
"Thanks Dean, thanks for that." Sam said completely deadpan. "There's this party at one of my friend's places next week…I was thinking of asking her to go with me."
"Rock on Sammy."
"So what happened to you last night?" Sam asked. "I hardly saw you."
"Yeah sorry about that, I just needed some fresh air and ended up on the roof then I got called into work. I've been a pretty shitty brother this weekend haven't I?" Dean said heavily editing his story. He loved Sammy but he didn't want to get into his newly accepted feelings for Cas.
"Shut up, you haven't been a shitty brother. I had fun last night and at least this way I can tell mom that you're doing well. She's convinced you're spending all your time at the hospital with no friends whatsoever. Jo, Charlie and the others are really cool, I like them."
"Good, they're not bad guys at all."
"Yeah…I like Cas as well. I mean I know you said he was a jackass and all but he's not too bad."
"Yeah he sort of grows on you." Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes and went back to eating the salad in front of him. "Stop being a bitch Sam."
"Stop being in denial."
"Stop listening to Jo." Dean said kicking Sam on the shin.
"Ow, you're such a jerk. I'm going to stay in California the next time I have some time." Sam whinged.
"I'm sorry I had to work today and I can't drive you to the airport." Dean said remorsefully. Sam's plane back to California was due to leave in just a few hours and Dean hated the thought of Sam having to take a taxi again.
"Dean stop freaking apologising. I got to see you and drink what can only be described as the most disgusting drink on earth. Last night was fun even if I've been put off blueberries for life." Sam said making a grab for a few of Dean's fries.
"Hey! You ordered salad so you can live with it!" Dean said slapping his brother's hand out the way.
"Well hurry up and eat, I've gotta get going soon." Sam said. They ate quickly and before too long Dean was walking Sam back down the entrance hall of the hospital to say goodbye.
"See you soon, I'll try to answer my phone more often." Dean promised as they stopped near the main doorway.
"You better mean that" Sam said with a grin. "You should get some sleep sometime soon as well, you look like hell." he added.
"You should get a haircut, you look like a girl." Dean shot back giving Sam a punch on the arm. Sam rolled his eyes, the kid was going to make himself dizzy one day, and pulled Dean into a hug. "Have a safe flight and you better text me when you land." Dean added once Sam let go.
"Yes mother." Sam said.
"And tell me how it goes with Jess." Dean said. "I mean it, I wanna hear what happens."
"As long as you tell me what's going on with you and Castiel."
"Sammy-"
"I just want to see you happy." Sam said sternly.
"I'm happy now so stop being a noisy bitch." Dean said.
"Fine, as long as you go and get some proper sleep so I can give a glowing report to mom." Sam said. Damn Mary Winchester and her not-so convert spy missions. Sam pulled Dean into another hug before saying his goodbyes and Dean absolutely didn't have to fight the urge to not cry. Nope not at all.
Sam was right about sleeping. The on call rooms were full of sleeping residents and attendings so Dean set up camp in the intern's locker room on the very same bench he'd hidden out on after his first shift. It was the exact same bench he'd camped out on after he'd yelled at Cas in the OR. God so much had happened since then, so much had changed and Dean had to believe it was for the better. He'd barely been asleep for a few hours before his pager was blaring and ripping Dean out of his nap. He took one look at the screen and raced out the room. He was running past the nurse's station when he spotted a very tired looking Jo.
"Jo where's Novak?" Dean asked hurrying down the corridor.
"He's in the on call room. You'll probably have to wake him." Jo said looking as though she was about to topple over from the amount of files in her hands. "You haven't seen Adam have you? He's supposed to be charting with me but I haven't seen him for at least an hour and he's not answering my pages."
"The last I heard Lafitte had a trauma thing he got pulled into. He'll probably be down in the pit if you want to go grab him." Dean called as he turned in the direction of the on call room.
"I'll give him trauma." He heard Jo grumbling as she headed off towards the ER. Dean really pitied Adam when Jo found him, she had a tendency to shout very loud and throw things when she was pissed. He'd have to get Sarah to take photos. Dean raced along the corridors until he got to the on call room and ripped open the door.
"Cas sorry if I woke you but-" Holy shit. Dean trailed off once he focused on the sight of a sleepy but very much shirtless Cas stood in front of him, scrub top lying on the nearest cot. Dean knew the guy was strong and pretty fit, it was kind of a given, but Dean had never been expecting a well-defined chest, abs and hip bones you could - no, no he was not thinking about Cas like that. Cas was his resident and sort of a friend who wasn't that much of a jerk once you got to know how his mind worked. Dean could not think about Cas shirtless, his tanned skin lightly flushed from Dean- ok he seriously had to stop his mind running away with him and not think about Cas like that at all.
And yet he was still staring. He was about as subtle as a brick through a window.
Cas yawned loudly, stretching out his torso as he lifted his arms over his head. That did not help matters or the serious situation going on in Dean's brain from the sight of Cas' hipbones.
And he was still staring.
"A minute ago you would have woken me but now you're not so no need to apologise." Cas said reaching for his scrub top and pulling it on over his head. Dean was sort of sad to see the whole chest/ab/hip display disappear but at least he'd be able to concentrate now...sort of. "Did you need me for something?" Cas asked running his fingers through his hair a few times probably in order to tame it but that was never going to happen.
Yeah but I doubt I could say it out loud Dean thought quickly diverting his eyes so Cas couldn't accuse him of staring even if that was exactly what he was doing.
"Um...yeah Krissy Chambers has woken up and paediatrics is asking if you can do a quick follow up to make sure everything is ok." Dean said remembering why he actually sort out Cas in the first place.
"That's fine. Come with me and you can help with the exam." Cas said slipping his feet back into his shoes and giving Dean a quick smile.
"Me?" Dean asked.
"You know everything about the patient, you get on with her and you did well in the surgery so it makes sense for you to be there. If you know what to do then next time you might be able to do the exam solo."
"Really?" Dean asked with surprise. He assumed Cas was still pissed at him for the night before as he'd barely said two words to him all day.
"Don't sound so shocked by the notion Dean, I think you could make a brilliant cardio surgeon one day. I'm glad to have you on my service and not just because we're friends." Cas said walking over and giving Dean a friendly squeeze on the shoulder. It might kill him but Dean could live with platonic shoulder squeezing.
He couldn't live with the way Cas' eyes lingered on his lips as Dean gave him a quick smile. That was certainly going to both kill him and confuse the fuck outta him.
The fact that Cas' hand was still on his arm was also managing to confuse the fuck outta him. Was Cas taking the piss or was he flirting? Had he been flirting the night before? Had Dean cocked up by not kissing him when he had the chance? Would it be a massive cock up if he kissed Cas now?
"Ugh." He coughed out. Real smooth Winchester. "Thanks for that Cas." He managed to stutter out. Actually stutter, he was never telling Sam any of this because his brother might send himself to an early grave from laughing so hard.
"It's quite alright Dean, it's a relief knowing you don't think of me as an evil jackass for once."
"Dude you know that I don't think you're an evil jackass...well not anymore anyway."
"I'm glad." Cas said smiling so the corners of his eyes crinkled. It was the same smile he got when he brought a patient back from the brink or when Dean had said something really funny when they were out for drinks. This time though the smile held more and Dean was seconds away from leaning in and enclosing the space between the two men. Cas must have had the same idea because his touch on Dean's arm tighten and his chest pressed against Dean's. Dean's entire body thrummed with heat as he felt the strong, warm expanse of Cas' chest against his own. Everything was telling him to close the small distance between them. He could taste the mint from Cas' toothpaste in the air and it wouldn't take much at all for Dean to just kiss Cas already. Cas' lips were mere centimetres away from Dean when his pager blared loudly.
"Shit" Dean cussed as Cas pretty much leapt away from him to look at the screen. His body was screaming to pull Cas back towards him and just kiss him but now wasn't the time.
"Fuck! It's 911 on Krissy." Cas said grabbing his white coat and pulled open the door, Dean hot on his heels as they raced to the paediatrics department.