A/N: Ditto. (No one takes anything official on April 1 seriously.)
A rift open again in the desert and out dropped the three girls. Jaz was unfortunate to be at the bottom of the pile, and took the brunt of the fall.
"Ow," she said as she hit the ground and grunted as the other two fell on top of her.
"Oh! Sorry Jaz," said Jewel as she got off her teammate.
"No prob," she mumbled.
"I'm so glad nothing went off," said Joli as she got up.
The three dusted themselves off and took the time to see where they are.
"A desert…I wonder if this is where those three disappeared off to?" asked Jaz.
"Most likely," said Jewel. "Only problem now is that we're stuck here,"
"Ten bucks that Desperado's going to throw a fit when he realizes you're gone," said Joli.
Jewel sighed. "Fine," Even though she was capable of handling threats on her own, Desperado was sometimes a little overprotective of her. "Which way shall we go now?" she said as she looked for signs of civilization.
"Hey look!" said Jaz. "I think I see TT's foot-er- claw prints," she pointed to the dragon claw prints on the sand.
"I guess he too was dropped here as well," said Jewel as she bent down to get a closer look. "And it's fresh as well,"
"Follow the tracks?" said Joli.
"Yup," said Jewel as she activated her rocket boots and soared in the direction TT's claw prints were headed.
The demolition twins followed suit by activating their own rockets in their shoes and followed her.
Meanwhile
Since BLU base was almost destroyed due to the battle that occurred there, BLU had to bunk with RED until the damage was repaired. But arguing arose among the mercs about when that idea arose.
"Come on you guys," said Wolfshire, who had woken up. "It's not like you have to stay together forever,"
"Yeah, its only a month at most," added TT who was in his regular form.
"NO WAY!" said Scout. "There is no way I'm letting no BLUs to be with me, even my ugly look- a-like,"
"Hey! WHO ARE YOU CALLING UGLY, UGLY!" shouted back BLU Scout.
Before anything could happen, Arachne tranquilized both Scouts.
"Anyone else who wants to complain can come see me NOW," she said venomously.
No one said anything.
"Good, that is how I like it," she said as she put away the tranquilizer gun.
"Even though I'm hating myself for say this, but we do kinda owe BLU with our lives," said Engi. "They saved us once, and now it's our time to repay them,"
Most of RED nodded in approval.
"We better start going," said Arachne. "We have a lot of work to do,"
"Work?" asked TT. "We have more work?"
"Oh yeah, we have to first divide RED base into two equal parts, and confiscate ALL weapons so no one kills each other,"
"That sounds…reasonable," said Sniper.
"But what about my lab?" asked BLU Medic.
"Your going to have to share it with Medic, BLU, sorry," replied Arachne.
BLU Medic muttered something in German while pinching his nose.
Time skip
In a couple hours, the robots were able to evenly split RED base into two parts. They made areas like the kitchen and dining area neutral so both sides can use it. They separated the two sides by constructing a makeshift wall, made up of items they found around RED, such as: crates, generators, potted plants, old furniture, etc. Also during the time, they were able to confiscate everyone's weapons and lock it up in the armory.
Now came the hard part the robots had to face,
Getting the mercs to get along with each other without killing themselves.
They knew that both Pyros got along easily with each other, so that was easy, but they sensed some hostility between mainly, the Scouts, Soldiers, Medics. Everyone else got along easily as well, but there were times of hostility between the five other classes. Seeing that they needed to keep an eye on those three classes, the robots decided to spend most of their time with them, so they don't try killing each other.
Arachne went with the Scouts, TT went with the Soldiers, and Wolfshire went with the Medics.
Sounds simple, right?
Wrong.
As soon as the Scouts woke up, they started to go for each other's throats again, so Arachne needed to tranquilize them again. TT had to hang each Soldier in a separate tree after they fought over who gets to put their "prized head collection" on the fence. Wolfshire threatened to destroy the Medics' animal parts if they didn't share the operating table.
At the end of the day, all three robots were exhausted.
"Holy crap," said Arachne as she plopped herself on the couch. "I swear I'm going to do more to those two if they don't stop fighting," she pulled out a Coke bottle and took a chug from it.
"You're telling me," said Wolfshire as he lay down on the ground. "Who knew doctors could be so violent?"
"Tomorrow is another day," said TT from the window. He was too big to fit inside the base, so he had to stay outside. "Besides, I think it's fun to see them fight,"
The three talked for a bit more before heading off to bed. Wolfshire went back to Engi's room, Arachne made herself comfortable on the couch, and TT made his way to an abandoned barn that was nearby. It seemed that everyone would have a good rest for once.
But no one saw the three figures that were standing at a distance, watching them.
"Well, I can confirm they are in that building," said Jaz as she looked at the building through her rocket launcher's scope. "But, I have no idea what their condition is,"
"What are we waiting for then, lets go and get them," said Joli as she got Thumper ready.
"Hold on there, partner," said Jewel. "We may have the element of surprise but they have numbers,"
"Yup, I counted eighteen men with them," said Jaz as she holstered the launcher.
"Here's the plan," said Jewel. "You two go in from the left and I go in from the right, we meet at the middle. Only use your weapons, IF NECESSARY. We don't want a repeat of last time, right Joli?"
"Yah, yah, c'mon lets go. I want to kick some ass," she said as pulled up her bandana and reversed her hat.
"Me too, I'm getting antsy," added Jaz as she pulled up her bandana as well, and put her goggles on.
"All right, then" said Jewel as she cracked her knuckles. Her blue eyes turned red. "Move out,"
RED HQ- RED side
Sniper rubbed his eyes. Sleep evaded him at every corner. "Way too many cups of coffee," he thought. "Need to lay off a couple of cups," He decided to take a walk outside the base to get rid of the caffeine, but as soon as he walked outside his room, a fist hit his face, and he was fast asleep.
RED HQ – BLU side
BLU Soldier and Demo stood outside their rooms drinking some beer they "borrowed" from Engi. "Uh, Demoman, do you think it was wrong to take RED Engi's beer?"
"Lad, if no one claims it, it's up for grabs," he took a swig from the beer bottle. "Here have another one," he tossed another one to Soldier.
Soldier mumbled something before opening the beer.
The two never saw the sleeping gas grenades that rolled beneath them.
RED side
Engi was still wide-awake, his goggles and hard-hat missing. He was busy making sure that the blueprints of his buildings were up to date. He reached down to grab a beer, but then remembered it was in the kitchen. He got up and walked over to the kitchen. He opened up the refrigerator, but found nothing, "Blasted drunks," he thought as he closed the refrigerator. He wondered what else he could drink.
Suddenly, something pushed him into the counter, he reached for something to retaliate with, a pan, and swung it behind him.
He saw a figure dodge the wild swing, before it returned a blow to his face and knock him to the floor. He looked up and saw that the figure had red eyes, similar to those of the robots, it or rather, she, was wearing cowgirl garb with a cape on her right side, with a Stetson and two blond pigtails. She was about to do something when a voice interrupted them.
"Get away from him, whore!"
The figure turned to see Pyro pointing a shotgun at her.
The figure motioned her right arm and pointed it at Pyro, and Engi saw what was under that cape.
A Winchester rifle.
"Look ou-"
The figure fired and shot Pyro in the shoulder. Pyro fell to the ground clutching her shoulder. She spun the rifle, cocking it, before pointing it at Engi.
"Don't do anything," the figure said.
BLU side
BLU Scout couldn't sleep.
He was laying on his bed as tossed his baseball up and down. He figured he was awake because he was knocked out so many times today by that goddam spider.
"That spider's more strict than Ma," he thought.
He decided to take a walk to the kitchen; maybe one of the fat Russians left a Sandvich in the refrigerator.
When he walked outside he saw BLU Sniper outside as well, "Hey Snipes, can't sleep either?"
"Nah, just wanted something so drink,"
The two walked towards the kitchen in silence.
But then a gunshot rang out.
"What the hell?" said BLU Scout. "I thought everyone didn't have a weapon,"
"I don't think it was one of our weapons," replied BLU Sniper. "I've heard every one of them, but that shot didn't sound like ours,"
The two hurried over to the kitchen and found a female figure standing over Engi. The figure held a rifle towards Engi's head.
"Who the hell are you?" BLU Scout demanded as he grabbed the closest thing to him, a spatula. "Don't move, I'm armed," he waved the spatula in a threatening way to her.
"Really?" thought Sniper as he picked up a more appropriate weapon, a chair.
But the two didn't see two other figures appear behind them. The one with the combat helmet grabbed Sniper and slammed his head on the table, while the one with the reversed hat slammed Scout's face into the refrigerator. Sniper was knocked out instantly, but for Scout,
"My face! My beautiful face!" he said as the figure pushed his head harder into the fridge.
"We came as soon as we heard the shot, you ok Jewel?" asked combat helmet.
"I'm ok Jaz, just was going to "interview" baldly here when someone pointed a shotgun at me," she said. "Joli, if you push any harder, his head's going to pop, you know that?"
"I know," said Joli as she pushed Scout's head harder. "It's because he's not shutting up,"
Scout continued to plead with Joli to stop squeezing his head, but his pathetic attempts went unheard by the sadistic demolitionist.
"Did you kill the person?" asked Jaz.
"Nah, just hit the target on the shoulder," Jewel replied.
Just then the three heard a familiar scuttling across the ground, and a familiar robotic sniper came into the light,
"Holy crap, who makes such a ruck-," Arachne's eyes widened as she saw the three. "What the fuck is going on here, and why are you girls here?"
A/N: BLU is like a punching bag for my OCs, I wonder why. FYI, I'm not going to do any more pairings, or will I?
Till next time,
-D.W