A/N: Ditto. In honor of 1k views, I present you the LONGEST CHAPTER I've written. YAY!
"Maybe, its not a good time to tell her we shot someone," said Joli a little too loud.
"YOU SHOT SOMEONE?" Arachne screamed. "Who did you shoot?"
"The girl in the fireproof suit," Jewel calmly said. "But she pointed a shotgun at me,"
Arachne quickly scuttled over to check Pyro. "She's lost a lot of blood, I have to get Medic over her-"
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
Arachne snapped up to see Wolfshire standing in the hallway; who must've woken up from the noise.
"Why is Pyro in a pool of blood?" he asked. "What is going on here Arachne?"
"Why don't you ask the troublemakers themselves?" she motioned over to the others. "I'm going to wake up Medic and see if he can fix her,"
As Arachne left to the Medbay, Wolfshire and the three girls stood in an uneasy silence.
Wolfshire sighed, "How many people did you encounter?"
"I got baldly here, the Pyro, and a guy that looks similar to that guy on the table," said Jewel.
"We got a soldier-looking guy, a Scottish cyclops, and these two," said Jaz.
"We really need to learn how to talk before we shoot," said Wolfshire. "And Joli, you can stop whatever you're going to BLU Scout now,"
Joli stopped pushing Scout's face, but then socked him in the jaw as he opened his mouth to talk and knocked him out.
"What? He's more annoying than Jackel," she said.
Jewel helped Engi up, "Sorry partner, I think we got off the wrong foot,"
Engi chuckled, "Yeah, we've been getting that a lot here, you should have seen what Arachne did to the entire BLU team,"
"She didn't do the thing, I hope?" asked Jaz.
"She almost did," said Wolfshire. "Luckily I was able to stop her before she started,"
"I swear, Ari scares me sometimes," said Joli.
They stood in silence until they heard sounds of footsteps, and scuttling coming from the hallway. Arachne and Medic appeared in the kitchen. Medic was clearly annoyed; his coat was missing and had his medi-gun pack on one shoulder.
"Freudian Arachne, couldn't this wait till morning?" he companied.
"It's past twelve, it's technically morning, and aren't you concerned about the well-being of your teammates?" said Arachne.
"She could go through Respawn,"
"It's not fatal yet, and if you don't heal her, I'm going to feed all those animal parts to TT," threatened Wolfshire.
"You wouldn't dare," said Medic as he narrowed his eyes. He then noticed the three new faces. "Oh, who are you three? I don't think I've seen you before…"
Jewel pointed her rifle at Medic, "Just heal the girl already, nurse, and stop stalling,"
Not wanting to get shot, Medic healed Pyro's wound. He knelt down and felt her pulse, "She's out cold from the shock, and I'm going to keep an eye on her at the Medbay,"
"I'll take her," said Jewel as she picked up Pyro. "We should get acquainted with the others before someone else gets hurt, lets go Ari,"
Medic, Arachne, Jewel left leaving Engi and Wolfshire with the demolition twins, as well as the knocked out BLU members.
"Well, that was interesting," said Jaz as she placed her goggles back on her helmet and pulled down the bandana.
"Yeah, real interesting," said Joli as she put her hat on correctly and pulled down her bandana.
"So, I'm assuming you know the other three?" asked Engi.
"Yup, I'm Joli, and that's my older twin sister, Jaz, we're demolition experts," said Joli.
"Didn't think we would fix you three ok here," said Jaz.
"Yeh, Arachne and TT was just as paranoid as you three were when they arrived as well, Engi can I talk with you a second?"
Engi and Wolfshire moved so they were out of an earshot from the twins.
"What is it Wolfshire?" asked Engi.
"I want you to tell everyone else, when they wake up of course, not to mix up Jaz and Joli,"
Engi was puzzled by this, "Why's that partner?"
"They get really pissed every time someone mixes them up, the last person who did that was ripped apart limb by limb, by Joli,"
Engi looked back at the younger twin, who was tossing up and down a potato grenade.
"They don't look like it, but they are REALLY strong, poor guy learned it the hard way,"
The two walked back to the twins when they saw both had evil-looking smiles on their faces.
"This is not good," Wolfshire whispered to Engi. "Um, what are you two planning?"
The demolition twins chuckled to each other before Joli said; "We just got a NASTY idea on how to wake these two up,"
"Oh boy, please don't kill them," said Wolfshire.
"We're not going to blow them up Wolfie, we've got something better,"
Jaz held up a small light green grenade, and shook it.
Wolfshire's eyes shot open, "NO!" he said. "That is worse than death, don't do it…"
"Too late, we're doing it," said Jaz as she picked up the BLU Sniper and carried him to the exit.
"Don't worry, it's just a prank bro!" said Joli as she picked up BLU Scout.
In a flash, the twins disappeared into darkness.
"Oh god," said Wolfshire. "Not again,"
"What are those two doing?" said a worrying Engi. "Are they going to get hurt?"
"Nope," said Wolfshire. "Let me just say that grenade is nicknamed "Nose Killer","
"I'll grab the hoses," said Engi.
Meanwhile
"So you three fell through rifts as well?" asked Arachne.
"Yup, and we all landed on each other when it spit us out," replied Jewel.
"You're lucky nothing exploded,"
"Yeah, I was really hoping we weren't going to land on each other, especially since the twins have nukes on them,"
"Wait, the twins have nukes on them? As in right now?" asked Arachne worryingly.
"Wait, I was worrying about their grenades, not the nukes, the nukes are only armed if it is in their launchers,"
The two were sitting on chairs in the Medbay, Pyro was lying down one of the beds, and was currently sleeping. Medic was nowhere to be found, he most likely went back to sleep.
"Do you know who's behind this?" asked Arachne.
"Behind what?"
"You know, the rifts. Why they're opening suddenly and taking us?"
Jewel twirled her rifle as she thought, "I have no idea, Ari, from what I last heard from big bro and Doug was it was that new enemy Wheel informed us about,"
"Oh, HIM, I heard Jackel saying something about that guy once, but I doubt he would go through this much trouble to get us, and besides something would've happened by now,"
The two sat in silence, until they heard the Medbay's doors open and Wolfshire walked in.
"What are you doing here Wolfshire?" asked Jewel.
"Nothing, just looking for where these guys keep their bars of soap," he replied.
"Soap… why soap?"
"Two words, twins and pranks,"
"Oh for fucks sake, not this again," said Arachne as she hopped down.
"Who are they pulling it on?" asked Jewel.
"The BLU Sniper and Scout,"
Just then a blood-curling scream could be heard, followed by howls of laughter.
"R.I.P in Peace," said Arachne.
"I should be going now, Engi needs help with the hoses," said Wolfshire as he ran out of the Medbay.
"I think you should help them," said Arachne.
"Why?" asked Jewel.
"Would you rather be with her when she wakes up?" Arachne pointed towards Pyro.
"Good point," and started to make her way to the door.
Outside
"Are we far enough away?" asked Joli.
"I think so," said Jaz. "We are at least half a mile from the base,"
"Wind check?"
"Blowing to the north,"
"Victims?"
"Still unconscious,"
"Fire in the hole?"
"Fire in the hole,"
Jaz pulled the pin and tossed it at the two unconscious mercs, the sisters then hightailed it to get away from the blast radius.
The grenade then exploded in a green cloud that engulfed both mercs.
"How long before they wake up from the smell?" asked Jaz.
"I dunno, most people wake up…" said Joli.
Then, as if on cue, Scout screamed.
"Instantly,"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL?" Scout screamed. He sniffed his hand, "UG! What the…" He held his nose close with his hand.
"Ug, my head, where am I?" asked Sniper as he got up. Then the smell hit him head on, his eyes started to water, "OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! WHAT IS THAT SMELL?" He tried to block the smell by holding his nose.
The two noticed the two laughing sisters, who were watching from a distance.
"HEY!" shouted Scout. "Who do you think you're laughing at?"
"You two," said Jaz between breaths.
"You two just got pranked by the prank masters, Jaz and Joli," said Joli as she fist-bumped her sister.
The sisters turned around to find Engi running towards them.
"Oh god," he said as he held his nose. "What is that?"
"It's an unholy combination of skunk spray and rotting sewage," replied Jaz. "Nasty ain't it?"
"Yeah, great now how do we get if off us?" asked Scout.
"We got a hose," said Engi.
"I hate both of you right now,"
Time Skip
After furiously washing both Scout and Sniper, most of the mercs were already up. Both mercs still stunk a little however, and stared daggers at the twin demolitionists when Arachne introduced the three girls to the others.
"You got beat up by a girl, what a wimp!" jeered Scout to BLU Scout.
"Shut up," said BLU Scout who crossed his arms.
"And you got pranked by them as well!"
BLU Scout took out his baseball and shoved it Scout's mouth.
"What does it take to shut you up?"
The twins were not the only ones getting the stink eye. Pyro was also eyeing Jewel, who didn't noticed, as she sat next to the cowboy.
Jewel was spinning her rifle by the trigger guard. Which worried some that she may shoot someone on accident. But they forgot about that when they looked at the twins, Jaz was fiddling with a small box with wires sticking out of it. Sometimes, the box would start beeping, and she would slam it on the table to get it to stop. Joli was playing with her grenades, and would juggle some of them.
"Are you sure we should trust the twins with explosives?" asked BLU Engi. "I mean that they look more dangerous than Demo when he's drunk,"
"Don't worry hardhat," said Jaz as she took out a screwdriver. "We've done crazier things before,"
"Yeah, we played "catch" with a nuke before," said Joli as she put away the grenades.
"What's in the box, lass?" asked BLU Demo.
"A black hole," responded Jaz. The box started to beep again. "Dammit!" she slammed the box on the table again.
"That doesn't look safe," said Sniper as he backed up a little.
"Nah, it's totally safe," said Jaz. "I slam it on the table so I can calibrate it,"
TT then stuck his head through an open window, "What's going on guys?" His eyes caught sight of the three new people. "Jewel, Jaz, Joli? You're here, too?"
"Yup," said Jewel. "Fell into the same rift that brought you here,"
"Cool and…" he sniffed the air. "Let me guess, "Nose Breaker?","
"Close, Nose "Killer"," replied Joli.
"Whom did you pull it on?"
All eyes went on BLU Scout and Sniper, who everyone was giving a considerable distance.
"Ooo, sucks for you two. It took a week for the smell to dissipate fully,"
Scout mumbled something under his breath and Sniper, wasn't paying attention at all, he was sleeping.
"Anyways, who's cooking today?" asked Pyro.
"Cook? You guys cook?" asked Jewel. The twins looked up from what they were doing.
"Yeah, some of us can cook, and then there are the ones who can't,"
"Why do let them cook if you know its bad?" asked Jaz.
"If you can't cook, then don't cook at all," said Joli as she crossed her arms.
"What's with the attitude change?" Engi asked Wolfshire.
"The twins take cooking seriously, and hate bad cooks,"
"I think Herr Soldier is…oh dear," said Medic.
"That does not sound good," said Jewel.
"GOOD MORNING, MAGGOTS!" said Soldier. He was carrying a large pot under his arm. "I HOPE YOU ARE HUNGRY!" He slammed the pot on the table causing Jaz to flinch.
"Oh no," said Spy as he facepalmed.
"Let me guess, it's bad," said Wolfshire.
"Yeah, REALLY bad," replied Engi.
"What is in there?" asked Jaz.
"GRITS!" he said as he opened the pot.
The smell originating from the so-called "grits" was so bad it overpowered the stink from the twin's stink bomb.
"I think, I'm going to be sick," said TT and brought his head outside and was heard vomiting.
"Holy crap," said BLU Scout. "This is even WORSE than the stink bomb,"
Jaz stood up and gave the box to Demo, walked over to Soldier, and led him to a wall. She then grabbed his head and imbedded it into the wall.
"YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE COOKING COMMUNITY!" she shouted.
Soldier said something, but the wall muffled it.
"Joli, find something to make up for this culinary nightmare," said Jaz as she lifted the pot. "I'm going to dispose of this," she left the room in a hurry.
Joli turned around and opened the fridge, "Nothing," she said as she closed it. "Nearest store, NOW,"
"Five miles west of here," said Sniper.
And just like that, she was out.
Jaz flew into the base through a window. She landed and took out a detonator, she said, "Fire in the hole," and clicked it. A faint explosion could be heard in the distance.
"Where's Joli?" she asked.
"Buying supplies," said TT, still a little green in the face.
She sighed before looking back at the mercs, her brown eyes suddenly turned red, "If Joli or I see another failure like that, it is going to be MUCH worse, understood?"
The mercs quickly nodded.
"Good," her eyes turned back to normal.
A/N: A prank was needed in this chapter, and bad cook beware, or else you'll find two sadistic demolition experts coming for your arse. Also I only listened to a Mannrobics remix while writing the past few chapters.
Till next time,
-D.W