"What do you mean, they're not going to do anything?" Spock had intended his voice to be a roar, a rare display of emotion to reinforce how upset he was. What came from his mouth was a breathy question, almost annoyed. He turned his head, frustrated, and was met with too much cushion. The pillow beneath his head was too plush, and he was tired of the blankets that were scratchy. He wanted to move around, reposition, fidget, anything, but the pain in his chest was almost too much to breath, let alone move. So he didn't allow his body to do what he wanted so badly.
Bones just shrugged. "There's not much they can do. Jim's got... maybe a few days. And that's optimistic. The augments were destroyed, we don't have any miracle cure for radiation. And you know the rules about altering a civilization that's not as advanced-"
"I was on the planet, doctor, and they are most definitely as advanced-"
"You know what I mean. They haven't achieved space travel, we can't alter their timeline, blah blah blah. We're ordered to return and take a... a break."
"A polite way to say we've been suspended following the rescue of crewmates."
"You know I hate it as much as you do, but..." Bones took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair before hunching over, elbows on his knees, eyes on the floor. "Jim should be on solid ground when..."
"You and I both know he would rather stay on the Enterprise."
"It's not like he knows the difference anymore. He's so out of it most of the time."
They sat in silence for a moment, both contemplating their future, their fates. Spock was indefinitely suspended from his duties as first officer, and may never be allowed to captain a ship again. The Federation was making a point about officers who disobeyed direct orders, citing Kirk's many offenses as well as those Spock had committed under Kirk's leadership. They'd gone on and on about how this couldn't be allowed to happen any longer, and if James Tiberius Kirk was in any condition, he'd receive the same treatment. Then mumbled apologies about his current condition and untimely death, to which Spock had muttered that the captain was not dead yet.
"Former Captain," had been the reply, to which Spock had gone cold with anger and Bones had hurriedly made up some medical excuse that Spock must be excused.
"Take me to the Captain." Spock's own small rebellion was continuing to refer to his friend as the Captain, even though Sulu was currently using that title, until a suitable replacement for the Enterprise could be found. Apparently they didn't trust Sulu to Captain the ship that should rightfully be his, because Kirk had had too much influence. The injustices, it seemed, would never cease.
"Spock, you're in no condition-"
"This is not a request, Doctor."
"You aren't in any sort of position to give me orders, you pointy-eared... besides, putting you two together is an offense that could cost me my career, do you think..." Bones sighed. "Fine. But if I get caught, you're paying for me to live comfortably for the rest of my life, ye hear?"
"With what money do you propose I do that?" There was a little smugness in Spock's voice, which told just how doped up on pain drugs he really was. Bones had done a lot for the Vulcan when he'd come in half-dead, but there was only so much he could do for a crushed chest. Now Spock had to heal on his own, and it was going to be a long process. A painful process.
Bones detached the bed from the floor and, after making sure Spock was appropriately strapped, began moving the bed out of the room and into the hall. They were lucky that only a few of the crew were hovering in the halls between Spock's temporary room and the med bay, where Kirk was a permanent resident.
Kirk was asleep, as he always was, when they entered. His being awake usually resulted in some catastrophic health failing, so it was a mixture of relief and disappointment for McCoy every time. He rolled Spock over to Kirk, attaching the bed to the joints in the floor that would keep the bed in place, no matter what kind of turbulence they may encounter. Then he sat back, letting Spock feel he was alone even though there was no way McCoy could leave them both, for any amount of time.
Spock stared at Kirk, a little shocked at the transformation that had taken hold of the Captain. His once strong, proud frame was shrunken, wasted away by a combination of the radiation and lack of solid food. His hair was thin, despite their best efforts to keep it in tact it was falling out. His cheeks were hollow, his lips chapped, and dark, bruise-like shadows rested permanently under his eyes. There was little that resembled the once proud, fearless leader of the Enterprise.
Not fearless, Spock remembered. He'd been afraid to die. Afraid to die just like this, but much faster, and much easier. Not this slow torture.
Spock pushed himself to his side, listening to Bones bite his tongue on protests about the vulcan's health. He wouldn't be stopped, anyway, and they both knew it. Spock stared at his captain, the only man he would allow to be his captain. No one else had the power, the heart to command a ship, not in Spock's eyes, not anymore. Not after he'd watched Kirk save the world time and time again, risking his life over and over to save everyone else. Spock had assumed it would be in some suicidal mission to save the galaxy that would kill Kirk, and he'd save everyone before he'd even think of dying. This was an insult. Whatever those creatures had done... it wasn't right.
"How did they do it?" Spock's voice was quiet, a mixture of sadness barely contained and the pain in his chest.
"A serum of some kind. At first I thought it was radioactive rock, but they injected something in the kid before things really started going south, and I haven't suffered any ill effects. They were familiar with the augment blood, it seems, and had a way to counter it before we even landed. I'd bet anything they wanted us there, and they destroyed the augments. I just wish I knew why."
"Perhaps they had reason to hold a grudge against the augments." Spock stared at Kirk, as if willing the captain to get better would do some good.
Silence reigned for a moment as both dwelled on memories, both of Kirk and of the augment they'd fought so desperately against, the one who had indirectly caused Kirk's first death. It was obvious why someone would have a grudge against his kind, but to wipe out any trace of them, not matter how small or beneficial, was too far. At least, that was true in the eyes of everyone aboard the Enterprise.
Spock's head shot up, and the sudden movement attracted Bones' attention. He frowned at the Vulcan, who was suddenly attempting to sit up as he pushed his legs over the side of the bed.
"Hey now, you're no where near well enough to be doing-"
"We can save the Captain."
That made Bones freeze for a moment, his mind working overtime, but as Spock began moving again he did the same, pushing the man back down.
"Someone else can do it, you can hardly sit up."
It was true, that Spock's breath was coming in sharp pants and the pain in his chest was indescribable, but that was secondary. The Captain was in much worse shape, and he'd given his life and career to save Spock too many times for Spock not to return the favor.
"You said earlier there was a serum that reversed the effects of the augmented blood in the Captain. If I can get some of the serum and break it down, I may be able to come up with something that will fight off the radiation once more."
"We don't know that it would work, even if we were sure we could get our hands on the right stuff. Besides, you wouldn't be able to get into the compound without your pieces of your ribs destroying your insides, so lay your point ear head back on that pillow and stop trying to kill yourself." With those words, he pushed the Vulcan down, who was loathe to listen but knew the logic behind the Doctor's words was sound. Spock wouldn't be able to make the journey, despite himself, despite how much he wanted to. And Bones was necessary to keep the two officers alive, besides not being in peak condition himself. The three who would have a chance of finding their way around the compound were incapable of doing so.
Spock deflated once more. So Kirk was to die, then, and Spock might as well do the same. He was stripped of his position, soon his best friend would be in a casket launched into space, if they allowed him even that right. He shouldn't be buried in the ground of a planet he never really felt at home on.
They wouldn't be burying him, though, because Spock would go down to the planet himself if he had to in order to save the Captain.
"The girl – woman – from science, what was her name? Could she go? She blended pretty well-"
"I cannot force her to put herself in danger yet again."
"Don't get too mad at me, Spock, but you can't force her to do anything anymore. But if she was asked, and her commanding officer wasn't opposed to the idea..."
"She could ruin her career with StarFleet if she went to the surface. I cannot allow-"
"No offense Spock, but you can't allow anything right now. You're basically a civilian, and you can't get up and stop me."
Bones stood and left the room, giving Spock one last look that said he'd better stay in bed where he belonged.
Sending Ensign Carpenter down was the best option they had, so Spock didn't try to chase the doctor down to stop him asking her. Instead, he returned his attention to the sleeping Captain, his thoughts wandering to what had happened and going over and over each event, trying to determine if there was anything he should have done differently. And when he came up empty, he closed his eyes in order to get some rest before something else happened.
He had hardly had a chance to soothe himself into a sleep-like state before he heard the quiet, rasping voice beside him, Immediately his eyes were open, and he pulled himself up enough to look at Kirk.
The blue eyes that met his were cloudy, ready to be released from the torment. But there was a half-smirk on his lips, as much as he could manage.
"I apologize, I didn't-"
"These could be my dying words, Spock, pay attention." There was snark in that comment, something that had long been missing from the man. That either meant he was getting better, fighting the radiation off for a few more minutes, or he was on his last leg, the strength that showed up just before it would disappear forever.
Spock forced himself not to concentrate on determining which it was, instead focusing on the interaction he hadn't realized he needed.
"I apologize, Captain."
"Not Captain, I'm sure. Dead guys can't be Captains."
"You are still my Captain, Captain."
"You're only saying that because I'm dying." He took a deep breath, which seemed painful for him, and then turned his head to look at Spock. "Take care of her."
"Her? I'm not sure I know to whom you are referring-"
"You know who, the Enterprise. You've got to be her captain now, Spock. Can't let just anyone take her from me."
"You will not need someone to take her from you, Captain. We are working on a cure."
"I know better than to hope for that, Spock." So resigned, so ready to die, Spock couldn't help the twitch of his brows, the downturn of his lips.
"You cannot die, Kirk. You are..."
"The only friend you got. You'll have to be nicer when I'm gone. Promise me." There was a sudden intensity in Kirk's eyes as he continued. "You have to have more than just Uhura, you two are on the outs more often than not. You need someone to be the crazy to your logic. Promise me you'll find someone."
"Captain-"
"Promise me."
"I promise, Captain, in the unlikely event of your demise, I will find someone to be my 'crazy.'"
"Good. That's good." It was obvious he was coming to the end of his unexpected strength, and his eyes were once again fluttering shut. "Don't let them take her from you. She belongs with one of us, not some outsider who doesn't understand her. It has to be us. No one..." His words trailed off as he fell back into a sleep that surely wasn't as restful as it looked.
"No one else can command her, not after you have taken her so far. It has to be you, Captain Kirk. Only you."