So, my aunt asked me of my views on sex. It went like this:

Auntie: Clair, what do you think about sex?

Me: It's something two couples do to share their passion, as well as other emotions, to each other without having to use words. Some couples are angry with each other, some couples grieve together, and others just giggle and laugh and be happy and in love with each other. And throughout the whole time, they're getting it on. That answer your question?

Auntie:...

Auntie:*Hugs* You wonderful child.

Me: lol wut.

P.S. This is sort of a filler chapter!

Elizaveta began laughing hardily, it low and almost boyish. She sort of acted like a sailor.

"Cute! Did you hear that, Toni? Cute! Oi, Gilbert, you've got something to tell everyone?"

"Oh, can it Liz!"

Gilbert rolled his eyes, the flames in his hair returning, and I grew uninterested. There was a few moments of teasing, until a low rumble was heard.

Oh fuck, it's me.

"Hungry?"

I felt my cheeks go numb and hot, and I raised a hand to cover my eyes in embarrassment, deciding not to answer. He could figure it out himself.

"Well, makes sense. All we ate all day were energy bars and beef jerky. Well, I did. I don't think you ate anything, actually. You were so stubborn you refused to eat anything that came from me or Frederick."

Everyone was once again staring at me, and I frowned. Gee, Gilbert, what a way to say it. Now everyone probably thinks I'm some stuck-up, sarcastic, cynical asshole with trusting problems-

Oh.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

"So! Who's gonna cook?"

Everyone went silent, Elizaveta averting her eyes, while Ludwig and Kiku actually completely turned around from Gilbert. Toni ran off without so much as a sound, and Lovino somehow disappeared, becoming a puddle of molten lava, mixing with the metal. Even Frederick seemed uncomfortable with the topic. Which is weird, since it was just a simple question. Do these people not like cooking or something? I'll gladly do it. I think it's fun to cook. Especially baking. Gosh, cake is paradise in a bite.

Someone cleared their throat, and I turned around to see Arthur standing in the doorway.

"So! What I miss?"

"Oh. Shit."

I looked to my side and saw Gilbert grow paler than he already was, and he took me by the shoulders and pushed me towards Ludwig, who in turned grabbed my arm.

"Take Roderich FAR FROM HERE!"

"Woah, what?!"

I was very confused. What the fuck? Why is Gilbert suddenly so damn afraid of Arthur? It's not like Arthur was cloned by the enemy or some shit. Haha. Maybe his food so bad, everyone-

Holy shit, that was meant to be a joke.

"Excuse me? Why do you people always run on my days! I thought you liked my tea! And what about my scones?"

My senses are tingling!

"Scones?"

I ripped myself away from Ludwig, smiling at Arthur.

"Baking? So, that means there's an oven here? Can I help? Is there coffee? I like tea, too. Can we make a cake? Sachertorte is my favorite. Do you have sugar and cream? I usually like my drinks sweet. Yansoon would be a good tea choice for this time... Especially with honey. It's sweet and puts people to sleep, and it goes well with any pastry. Of course, chamomile would do just fine, though it is not as-"

"AHEM, Mr. I'm-a-fucking-royal-menu, if you really want to make this stuff, why don't we have Artie here take you to the kitchen so you can teach him how to actually cook instead of turning food into poisonous weapons. You sound like you actually know what you're talking about. Maybe you can tell the difference between salt and sugar!"

"I can't tell whether you're mocking me or Arthur. Either way, fuck off and quit being rude, Piefke."

"What did you just call me, Ösi?"

Arthur decided it was about time to whisk me away to the kitchen, it seems, and I didn't really fight back. I mean, seriously, he was taking me to the kitchen. The kitchen. Who the fuck was gonna pass up that? Well, other than everyone else but me. And Arthur. Okay, I really like working in the kitchen, let's leave it at that. It's a certain love that draws me closer to the indoors, at times.

"Alright, you mind telling me what was going on in there?"

I gave Arthur an are-you-shitting-me look, and he simply crossed his arms and waited.

"I was already a little annoyed with him before he called me a menu."

"That so? Why?"

I frowned, thinking over what I wanted to say. I didn't really know it myself.

"Before you came here..."

Then I realized exactly what pissed me off.

"He called me cute!"

Arthur burst out laughing, slapping his knee, and walked to the fridge.

"He has every right to call you cute! I mean, have you looked at yourself? Have you even seen a video on the way you act? You're like a little, stubborn, stuck-up child! And it's even more adorable when you start pouting while you're angry! Do you realize you do that? You stick out your lower lip and cross your arms as if you're about to throw a mini tantrum or something!"

"I do not!"

"You do!"

Arthur took out a bunch of things from the fridge, and I instantly realized that he wasn't taking anything out for the scones. Just a bunch of herbs that could be used for the tea. Everything else, well, I had no idea. Literally, there is no recipe in my head that requires all this shit. Condensed milk? Cake mix? Egg whites? What the fuck- an avocado?

"You also make some sort of face when you're confused. When we first met, you were looking between me and Gilbert with these sort of hopeless puppy eyes. See, you're doing it right now! You look like a lost puppy!"

"I- No, I don't!"

"If only I had it on camera! The only face of yours that seems totally evil in when you win something, I think. I've only seen it once, so I can't really judge, but you made this terrifying and infuriating face after you beat me in that challenge in the woods. Really pissed me off, but it took me a moment to actually blow up in your face. I mean, I had to build up the courage to yell back at something that was terrifying me, you know? You were like a... You were like some sort of sadistic... Dominatrix!"

"I'm a man!"

"That's the part of my sentence that bothered you?"

Arthur laughed, and I flushed in embarrassment once more. Fuck my life.

So, I quickly had come to realize that Arthur had next to no culinary skills, which led me to force him away from the cutting board. I put him safely next to the stove where he could peacefully make his tea while I began to take out the correct ingredients for scones. I also threw away the cake mix because it was way expired, as well as the avocados, the sandwiches, and a shit ton of other things in the fridge. Do these people live in a cave? Okay, well, technically, since this is a room underground, this could be called a cave. But they must live in an uncivilized cave! Because, really, were they going to eat this gunk? That would be sickening!

By the time I had the scones in the oven, Arthur was finished with the tea, and we both sat down at a kitchen table, patiently waiting. Arthur seemed to already pour himself a cup of tea, which I found a bit disrespectful to everyone else, but I guess it's safe to assume that not many of them enjoy tea. I, in fact, actually prefer coffee. Which reminds me...

"Arthur, is there any coffee beans I could ready?"

"We do have some. However, they're mixed in with a bunch of different brands in a paper bag, up in the pantry. And we also don't have a coffee grinder."

"That's fine. Could I use some cream and sugar?"

"Oh, sure! Be my quest."

I got up and went down into the supplies cabinet where I previously saw a mortar and pestle. I took it out, got the coffee beans, a small custard cup, and began grinding.

"You seemed skilled."

I hummed, not taking my eyes off the task at hand.

"Where did you learn to grind coffee like that. It's not only unusual to do so, but from what I've heard, it's also difficult to use a mortar and pestle in the first place."

I nodded in agreement.

"My grandmother taught me. My parents had abandoned me, so I was raised by an old lady who I called my grandmother. I'm used to the old way of doing things, since this stuff was apparently passed on throughout her family for generations. Compared to everything else I learned how to do, grinding coffee beans is really... Simple. That's why I'm usually quite content with my life, even if people don't necessarily treat me in the most nicest fashion. I can survive without having to spend so much money on high tech shit."

"Jeez, well that makes me jealous. I can't survive without my instant tea maker. Well, not instant, but it seriously only takes a minute. I would hate to have to wait any longer."

I chuckled.

"Well, I think it's nice waiting. I can sit down, read a book, and when I hear the whistle steaming out of the kettle, I feel sort of proud of myself for waiting long enough. I don't mind waiting because I enjoy the feeling of being alone in my house, peacefully reading a book, knowing that I'll soon be relaxing with a hot cup of tea."

"You sound like a very calm person at home. Why so different with people?"

"Because people are fickle and unreliable, next to untrustworthy."

"Oh."

There was silence, and I used this moment to fully concentrate on grinding the coffee beans better, making sure that they are such a fine powder that they felt like soft sand. I usually liked it better this way. I guess it was an OCD habit of mine.

"Hey, Arthur, could I use that tea maker of yours? I suspect it works the same with coffee."

"Um, yeah. It does. Go right ahead."

He sounded weird, but I didn't really care, and I got water heated up on the stove, deciding to do it the slow way.

"So..."

I looked over my shoulder.

"What?"

"Why do you think that? Is there a specific reason?"

I furrowed my brows.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You dislike people, you're discriminated, you're constantly pestered by these little shadows that follow you around, so much so that you don't even pay attention to them anymore, and to top it all off, you live alone, yet you still tell me that you're completely content with your life? Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? What possibly makes you believe that you are happy the way you are? What is your reason?"

I frowned.

"This is one of the reasons I don't like people. You all need to have a reason to be happy."

I sighed and turned off the kettle, getting a cup out and taking the tea maker.

"Why does there need to be a reason to be happy? I get that there probably needs to be a reason to laugh, that's something different. But being happy is looking at the good things in your life. You can be content so long as you know you have good things inside of you. It's not hard. It's not technically a reason. It's just called being happy."

I poured my cup, added a bunch of cream and sugar, and went to the table, sitting down on the opposite side of Arthur. I didn't bother with a glass of water.

"And another thing; Being content isn't necessarily being happy. It just means that you are okay with the way things are. I am content, not very happy right now, but content, because I am safe, I am breathing, I have something to calm my nerves, and as for the moment, I know that nothing will ruin my mood. Unless, of course, you did something to the scones I made. Then I would be pissed off."

He coughed into his fist, and I narrowed my eyes, suddenly getting a sinking feeling.

"Yeah, about that..."

"ARTHUR!"