PREVIOUSLY

Chris latches onto me the zipper of his grey hoodie digging into the thin material of my shirt, startling me in the process, I allow him to cling to me. As soon as I feel the loss of contact from Elyza, I turn to her. I know we haven't fully resolved our situation fully but to my surprise she doesn't look angry. I try to read every emotion pouring out through her stare, searching for any sign of jealousy and I can see it there but it's dull compared to the look of sympathy and oddly enough a look of confusion as well.

The smile on her face tells me that she isn't mad at all and when her hand returns to my shoulder for another squeeze I can't help smiling back at her, despite the tears and possible snot dripping down my nose from all this crying.

Movement ahead of me comes from an equally distressed Travis as he and Daniel proceed with this makeshift funeral, tying what I assume to be weights to Liza's feet and with a gentle caress and a final kiss both men gather on one side of the table and lift. The weights drag the corpse of Liza Manawa over the edge of the ship and into the dark blue ocean, with a small splash.

Finally it was over. Liza was at peace.

"Yu gonplei ste odon.."

CHAPTER 17: Red Waters

As soon as I whispered my last words the crowd of people began to disperse, none wanting to invade the mourning Manawa men. Chris had pulled away soon after Lexa and I muttered the end of our send off and rushed to the stairway door, Travis rushing along with him. Instinct told me to follow and make sure that they both acted like adults and not children but Elyza's grasp on me didn't release.

I stood still, my back to her front, as I allowed the both of us to take in a few much needed breaths of air. I could feel Lexa starting to settle down and her figure dissipated from my view leaving me truly alone with my blonde...friend?

"Alicia?" Her voice is soft, just barely enough for me to catch even from her position so close behind me.

"Hmm?"

"That..prayer..where did you hear that?"

I slowly turn around as her grip loosens and I face those hauntingly beautiful blue orbs head on, warming at the realisation that they no longer help the gloom and anger from before. I had been scared of her reacting badly after I helped Chris.

"I don't know," I lie because it's not like I can just say that my past self from an alternate universe whispered the verses in my ear, " It must have been something I heard during my father's funeral."

She accepts the answer with a nod and carefully reaches for my hand and I gladly allow the touch, reveling in the way our finger interlock in an embrace that sends a spark of warmth throughout my limbs.

"Why do you ask?" Im curious as to why Lexa's send off would peak her own curiosity and now that I wasn't occupied anymore, I slightly remember the gasp I had heard from behind me when I said the first verse. The shocked gasp had obviously come from Elyza.

"Would you believe me if I said that I had heard that prayer somewhere before? Like in a dream? As a kid I used to have these weird dreams and that prayer..Y'know and there was this chick, heh now that I think about it she kinda looks alot like..." She trails off, Her eyes studying my face. Confusion overlaps the curiosity as I watch the emotions play out upon her face, she is just as confused as me but then I can see the embarrassment settle over her features and the blush was definitely something I wasn't used to seeing.

Usually I'm the blushing idiot in our conversations.

"Uhh.. Nevermind. I'm probably just overthinking this..yeah..oh-oh did you hear that?" The stuttering blonde glances about but I could swear I heard nothing besides the waves hitting the side of the boat, "I think that was Raven! I-I uh have to go help her..with that thing.."

I glance forward at said brunette limping out of the kitchen area along with Nick, a piece of bread hanging loosely in her mouth as her hands cradle a pile of cables and trinkets. Obviously Raven was not calling Elyza and I'm about to point that out when I feel a soft press against my cheek.

"Uh-Ok bye!" Her hand is gone but the kiss to my cheek replaces the loss of warmth. The only sign of her exit is the loud footsteps and the quiet mumbling that gets further and further away.

The blonde leaves me stunned gaping like a fish out of water and the ever persistent blush climbing to my cheeks.

"Yo Commander! You alright there?" Raven yells from across the deck and I can only nod robotically walking away and down below deck.

Walking down the now extremely familiar hallways I almost get run over by the bulldozer of human emotion, Travis Manawa. The almost head-on collision knocks the slow motion replay of the kiss from my immediate thoughts.

"S-sorry, 'Licia." I couldn't help noticing the gloomy look in Travis' eyes and the blood coming from the split on his lower lip.

Before I could say or ask anything he was gone, going back up the steps most likely to look for my mother.

Knowing that my roommates were all out of the room I throw open the door without caution and head straight for the radio set up on my bunk. I need to get my mind off of the Aussie and back onto other things and recently Finn was who I went to. Who would have thought a guy in a metal box would give such great advice.

I find the station easily, having memorized it the first time I had made contact with him.

There is a lot of noise coming through the frequency, a mix of what I assume if talking but it's the tone the voices take. The voices bleed panic and anxiety and I swear I can hear an equally startled voice that sounds alot like Finn amongst the sounds.

"Finn?" I'm honest to God scared for my friend. I thought he said he was safe, "Finn?!" I say again with an obvious edge in my voice.

"Hold on! Shit." His voice comes through, the frequency much clearer than before. There is still an air of panic around me.

"Finn?! What's wrong?"

"The hull got dinged while we were escaping the Marina. We thought we patched it up...we're taking in a lot of water." My heart drops at this new information and I quickly respond out of fear for my friend.

"Are you guys going to sink?"

" The bilge pump seems to be working, which is a miracle itself. We're going to try and make land."

"You can't! The dead are there."

"Die on land or die in the sea it doesn't matter, we have to die somewhere.."

"It doesn't have to be now!We can come and help! We can come and get you! Where are you now."

I wasn't going to let more people die just because I was scared, If I can help Finn then I'm going to help him.

Alicia! We can't and you know this. I thought you accepted this fact, we have to survive. We can't-

"I'm not going to let him die, Lexa!" There is silence no on the road, Finn was probably finding out the information I needed in order to find them.

This is not a good idea and you know this. Don't let your feelings for the boy cloud your judgment.

"He's my friend...I can't let him die. Life..Life should be more than just surviving, Lexa."

I guess I said the right thing because the feeling of completeness that Lexa brings with her is gone and before I can stop and think too hard about it Finn's voice is back.

"I can see the fires on the Santa Monica mountains. That smoke plume is that to your north or south?"

"North." I say checking outside one of the Abigail's many portholes.

"Okay, we're just south of that. Maybe two miles offshore. How close are you to Catalina?"

I run up the few steps up the stairs and almost rip the door of the stairwell off the hinges in the wall. Immediately I lock my sights on Travis, who is just about to take a seat next to a very happy looking Biscuit in a new Aloha shirt. I try to ignore the piled up miniature alcohol bottles at his feet.

My panic is clear in the way that I rush to Travis and I can see as the rest of the group in the room completely stop what they're doing to stare at me and I can feel the usual burning sensation I feel when a certain pair of eyes are on me, but I ignore the presence of my blonde for now.

"Travis! Travis someone needs help. They're sinking"

"Who?" His eyes peel themselves away from the giddy pup to look at me.

"Listen..It's just him, his brother and his sister-in-law. Just three. We can manage that, right?"

His gaze drops to the radio in hand and so do the others around us and the tension in the room thickens. I think I hear a soft 'What did she do?' come from somewhere in the room.

"His name if Finn, Travis and he-" A strong grip jerks me to a scary looking Strand. I hadn't realized he had left his perch from the steering room.

"You've been talking to someone on the radio?" His voice is rough with a generous helping of anger in it. His eyes drive me into silence with its burning intensity. I answer with a nod and I immediately feel his grip tightened, almost painfully, on my arm drawing a soft whimper from me.

Lexa flares up from within me and almost automatically my free hand skims down my side, resting on the hilt of my knife. Fear strikes me deep, though not from the furious man holding me but from what he is forcing us to do. I can hear the threats Lexa is screaming in my ear, if he didn't get his hand off us than we were going to kill him.

"You stupid girl! And what did you tell them, huh?! Did you tell them where we are?!" He screams at me, his facing inching closer to mine and that's enough for Lexa. We clench the hilt in our hand tightly and our gaze locks on the pulsing vein in Strand's throat.

Perfect place to cut. He'll be dead before he even drops to his knees before us.

We don't get a chance to pull the blade out because there is our blonde savior rushing forward along with my equally pissed off brother.

Elyza waste no time ripping Strands hold from me and putting herself between Strand and I, her guns raised and aimed directly at Strand's forehead. I can't see her face but telling from the now scared look on Strand it's probably the kind that says 'I'm about to kill you then dance in your blood.'

"Back. Off." Her voice is low, lower than usual and yet the murderous tone doesn't prevent my knees from blondes voice never ceases to get a reaction from me even when it's threatening bodily harm.

"Or what, Lex?" Strand urgently finds his backbone ,stepping up and into the waiting gun, his head now leaning forcefully on the barrel, " What are you gonna do? Shoot the person who saved your life? Shoot the only person who knows how to drive this damned ship?"

He has us there the closest my mother has ever been to a boat this size was.. Well never! My mom doesn't even like going to the beach let alone boats. And Travis? Well honestly maybe he could drive it but telling from the empty vodka bottles he had at his side, I don't think he has the right set of mind.

"You put your hands on her," She cocks the gun menacingly, barrel never going far from it's target, " That's reason enough for me to shoot you where you stand."

"Elyza." Nick steps up, placing himself at Strand's side.

"Nicholas." She responses tensely and Nick sends her a glare at the use of his full name.

"Elyza, I want to kick his ass too but now is not the time. Please. Put the gun down."

Elyza's arm doesnt drop and Strand is just as stubborn, standing his ground even though he is in no place to be doing so. Biscuit is growling and I can hear my mother trying and failing to calm the agitated dog.

Hearing the growls reminds me of one important fact and that is that we are not alone. This isn't just a battle between two warring alphas, this is a selfish solution for a selfish problem and we couldn't afford to be selfish not with all these people around.

If Elyza shoots Strand then that takes us one step back in our fight for survival, no one knows where the 'safe house' Strand has is located nor how to drive this damn ship. We can't risk this, not now that we're so close. Lexa and I are almost completely embarrassed over how we had reacted in a similar way to Strand.

Regretfully (mostly on Lexa's part) we can't allow this to continue. I raise my arm to touch the lioness in front of me, not pulling away when she flinches. When my hand is now completely in contact with her bicep I can feel the tension slowly draining it's way out of the girl. Her arms drops to her side and my hand follows it down, clasping our hands together in a tight yet insanely comfortable grip.

I regret doing so when I see the shit eating grin that appears on Strand's face. He turns to the rest of the group and addresses them with a dark smile.

"Please, let me explain the rules of the boat," He stares down the crowd, "Rule number one, it's my boat." he raises one finger to list the rules.

"Rule number two, it is my boat." I don't even try to hide the rolling of my eyes when he turns to Elyza and I.

"And if there remains any confusion about rule on and two," He steps closer to us and I can tell it's taking all of Elyza's strength not to drop this guy to the floor, " I offer rule number three, It's my goddamned boat."

He says this part directly to Elyza and Lexa isn't happy about it. The burning urge to pounce the man is back and the only thing holding me back is the way that my blonde counterpart gently caresses the back of my hand with her thumb.

As soon as we get off this boat. We're killing him.

Looks like we can agree on somethings, Lexa.

After Strand storms out the deck clears out, everyone stating that they were going off to get ready for dinner all going to escape the awkwardness in the room. The only person who stayed with me was the girl I was currently seated next to on the lounger.

Our hands remained interlocked as she stares off somewhere in the distance, she has been silent since Strand and it's unnerving to see the girl this way.

"Well," I try to break the silence, " Aren't you going to say anything?"

She breaks her gaze from whatever it was locked onto before and stares straight into my eyes. Try as I might, I can't seem to read the look in her eyes. I search for disappointment or anger but I find no trace in those beautiful blue iris'. My brow furrows in frustration at my lack of knowledge in the field of understanding this woman. I don't notice the way Elyza's eyes drop down to the sight of my lips being nibbled upon by my teeth.

"You want me to say something?" She ask and I'm taken back by the clear amusement in her voice, " How about I tell you how much I want to be the one to bite that pretty little bottom lip of yours?"

Not expecting that I just stare ahead, my eyes widening comically at Elyza and it's then that I take in the fact that she is moving closer and closer to me.

" Would you like me to do that, Alicia? Would you like me to kiss you? Bite those full luscious lips of yours before I take you down below deck and-"

"NNNGHHHH!" I fall off the edge on the seat and land heavily on my ass. I hadn't realised how close I was to falling, or that I was leaning out of the girls reach the closer she had gotten to me.

Looking up I find the cause of my humiliation looking down at me with an amused smile, the tears in her eyes a clear sign that she was trying very hard not to laugh at my fall. I want to curse at her for the immature little act but the words are lost to me as I see that sparkle in her eyes, a sparkle I hadn't seen in a while since before we becoming this pair of zombie-killing badasses.

I allow her to continue stifling her laughs as I quickly dart my head around thankful to find that there were no witness, rising up I throw myself back down onto my previous spot with a huff. My arms crossed over my chest as I send dagger after daggers at the girl with my eyes.

"That was totally not funny, Elyza. My ass hurts now." I make a point to rub at the now slightly spot on my left cheek.

"Awww poor 'Licia," She lifts my chin with her pointer finger making sure we have eye contact before continuing, "Want me to kiss it better?"

The way she suggest her form of comfort sends even more of a blush to my cheeks and not surprisingly it sends heat down my body before finding it's place between my thighs. I cross my legs quickly to forcefully stop my bodies response to no avail, instead aggravating my bodies situation and causing a throbbing sensation to replace the heat.

Lexa is awfully silent during this interaction though I know she's there and aware of what is happening. Elyza's smile seems to have grown but after a small chuckle she settles back and allows me take a few breaths, which I'm utterly grateful for.

"You want me to say something about the radio,right? Maybe something along the lines of 'How could you not tell me?' or 'How could you do something so stupid?', right?" I nod.

"Well I can't really say anything about this really. I mean we all knew you had the radio, so I can't say I'm surprised that you got in touch with someone and I can't be angry at you for trying to help since well it is you we're talking about," she pauses running a hand through her locks, " You have a big heart, Alicia. You want to help people..I can't blame you for trying to hold on to what little is left of our humanity."

"But you think it's dangerous, right?"

"Of course. But I can't blame you, Alicia. Again we all knew that there is a possibility that you were going to talk to someone and we did nothing to stop it, including me because I was a stupid jealous bimbo! Hah! Which by the way is also the answer to the first question."

"You're not that stupid." I reply bringing the smile back to her features.

"Well thanks for that babe."

Voices emerge from the room ahead, the group returning with dishes and glasses. Ofelia and Daniel take on the task of setting up the table, while mom and Nick bring out the food from the kitchen. Raven is next to join with what looks like a bottle of unopened wine her hand.

Elyza returns her hand to mine and pulls her and I up from our spots, on our way to the table I avoid looking at those around me, knowing that the Finn situation has not yet been laid to rest. Elyza moves us to the side of the table that is closer to the stairwell and pulls out the chair next to Raven for me to settle into.

I quickly do so, my head still hanging low in an attempt to not raise my gaze from the plate laid down in front of me. Im content to just stare down at my plate for the remainder of dinner but Raven had different plans, poking me in my side and making me release a small high-pitched squeal. I can feel everyone's gaze upon me and it makes me want to burst out from my seat and take off downstairs to the comfort of my room but then I hear the most unexpected sound. Laughter.

One after one everyone begins laughing at my outburst and again I try to find comfort in the blonde beside me, burying my facing in the cool leather. Elyza gives my hand a squeeze, leaning down so that her mouth is close to my ear.

"It's ok, Alicia. Look."

And I do. I remove my face from it's spot and fully take in my surrounding and am stunned to find that there are no heated glares or looks of disappointment. There's joy and a teasing look in everyone's eyes, including Daniel.

For a moment it seems like everything is normal that the world hasn't ended. I know that after moment of normalcy , the group will probably interrogate me about Finn and our communication but for for now they are satisfied.

Getting a bit more comfortable I pull away from Elyza to sit my back onto the chair fully, my hand never leaving hers as Mom distributes portions of Daniel's latest catch from the sea between all of us.

We all sit back and occasionally share a few stories, some more embarrassing and having to due with either Nick or myself. Strand had only joined us for a second, receiving his plate of food before hurrying back up the steps he had come from.

The company around me made the otherwise plain and dull meal taste like some real quality meal one would find at a 5- star joint. No one speaks about the radio nor about the missing people at the table. Everything is normal.

And then the world proceeds to shit on us once again.

The splash of water is as loud and clear as the sound of a gunshot and it easily silences us all, Nick is the first to react seeing as he was already out of his seat. He takes off into a run followed closely by Biscuit, they make their way to the back of the boat before anyone else can leave their seats.

Travis and Elyza are next when suddenly there is splash then another. The groups follows until we're all at the back and glancing over the rail into the waters below. There is no sign of Nick or Biscuit.

"Chris.." Travis says under his breathe and realisation hits us all like a train. Guilt floods my system as I stare off into the rough movement of waves. I should have payed more attention to Chris, I hadn't realised he was suicidal..

All eyes scanning the waters when suddenly there is a breach to the surface, it's Biscuit and Chris! Chris gasps for air as Biscuit tows him towards the boat, his hoodie tightly clamped in the shepards jaw. Travis is there within second awaiting for them to get closer.

As soon as he is in reach, Travis grabs Chris dragging him onto the launch deck before proceeding to grab Biscuit by his t shirt and helping him up as well. Biscuit shakes off the man's hand as soon as he finds his footing, turning back towards the waters and letting out a few barks in a general directions. I try to scan the waters for any signs of Nick but find that the sudden fog makes the task impossible .

I ignore the conversation between Travis and his son more worried about my brother than their family drama.

Finally Nick emerges and I let go of the breath I hadn't known I was holding but he isn't alone. By some weird coincidence the fog clears and that is when we find that it wasn't fog at all, it's smoke.

The sight before us is an eye opener for us all. There is a ship similar to our size only about four boat lengths away, the ship completely destroyed, the hull covered in bullet holes and supplies littered across the wasn't done by the dead, it was done by the living. And the bodies. Dear God there are so many bodies in the ocean. Children and adults, scattered around the area and I watch in horror as some convulse and their jaws snap into the empty air. They're all dead.

Strand was right. Not even out in the ocean is safe.

Elyza leaves my side when we watch as Nick dives back under the water in the direction of the wreckage.

"Where do you think you're going?" She shrugs her shoulder, removing her jacket ,shoes and gun placing them in my then retrieves a small pocket knife her back pocket.

"Someone's gotta go in and make sure your idiot of a brother doesn't kill himself." She has a point. Without another word she walks down the few steps to the launch deck and dives in.

I don't know what to do. Patience not being a good trait of mine. I was an alright swimmer but I doubt I could swim and avoid getting bitten at the same time, so jumping in after the blonde was definitely a no.

Just sit down and wait. She knows what she is doing. The dead are all scattered away from wreck and they do not seem to know how to swim, she and the boy are safe.

I follow Lexa's orders and seat myself down on cold wooden deck floor, not wanting to be far from where Elyza and Nick would return to. I try to think about everything but Elyza and Nick, glancing around the ship for something to occupy my time and thats when I notice the radio hiding under a jacket on a chair near the dining table.

The radio had been taken from me by Travis and at the time I gave no thoughts to it, but now seeing it just a few feet away I couldn't help the thought of Finn fluttering into my mind. He deserved to know that I wasn't going to be able to help.

I made my way to the appliance making sure to draw no attention to myself, thankful everyone was preoccupied with watching for Elyza and Nick.

Throwing off the jacket cover I quietly drop down to my knees and find the channel. Steeling myself first, I prepare for the upcoming conversation. I know it's not going to end well and the guilt eating up in my stomach is in agreement. I hold the mic to my mouth and hope that somehow the boy had found to be a friend will forgive me.

"Finn? Finn, I'm so sorry...I can- we can't help you..I'm so sorry."

….

"Finn?"

"It's okay, Alicia. I got you."

I freeze up at the response, chills running down my spine. That tone. I had never heard Finn use that tone before, it was so..sinister..

"I'll be seeing you real soon."

I drop the mic and practically throw the radio away from me causing my mom and the others to turn towards me but I paid them no mind. My hands fly up to cover my mouth whether to prevent the bile building up in my throat or the scream I'm dieing to let out, i don't know. I can only think one thing and one thing only.

What. Have . I . Done?

TBC