The resort was huge, Gokudera was finding, and it did nothing to curb the sudden anxiety he was feeling at having to be around so many people. He stuck close to Tsuna and Yamamoto, knowing he wouldn't be able to do this without them; they were all he had here, and without them, he would still be in his apartment right now.
"We should go straight to our motel and put our belongings away before we do anything." Mukuro glanced over at his friends, knowing how if he didn't take charge, Yamamoto, Tsuna and Belphegor would most likely be dragging their bags around the resort and – at least in Belphegor's case – lose half of it. "I believe that's the motel just up ahead. How many rooms are booked for us, Belphegor?"
"Three~ One for Muku-chan and the prince so I don't get lonely~ One for the little tuna-fish~ And one for Hayato and Takeshi to make lots and lots of love in~"
"Oi, you little shit! Who said we'd be doing such a thing?!" Gokudera was unaware of the deep blush that was rising to his ears again; he took Bel's laughter to be because the blond was feeling satisfied with the other's outburst.
"Why are you so shy, Hayato-kun~?" Bel cocked his head as he rocked back and forth on his heels; he was trying so hard to pull off the innocent child appearance – and, though Gokudera hated to admit it – he honestly had it perfected. Just how spoilt was that brat? "I mean; you guys have been together so long now; surely you've done it enough to stop being embarrassed~? I wouldn't wait more than a few days in a new relationship~"
Mukuro wrapped his arm around the older male's waist and pulled Bel against him. "That is enough, Belphegor; leave him be before he dies of embarrassment."
"I don't know why he's so embarrassed, Mukuro~ I mean, it's natural~ Just like how I'm hard right now for no reason~"
"They don't need to know that, Belphegor."
Gokudera let out an annoyed hiss. He turned his attention to Tsuna in order to distract himself. "Why aren't you sharing a room with us? We wouldn't have done anything with you around, Tenth."
"Ah, I think Squalo was just being considerate of you guys. I don't mind, though." Tsuna smiled at his friends before he looked back ahead of him, finding that they were quickly approaching the motel that towered before them.
Gokudera sighed; any minute now they were going to walk through those sliding doors and enter the motel. It was when the cool breeze of the air conditioner hit him did he finally have to acknowledge that he was somewhere he didn't want to be – and if it weren't for the warm hand that had grabbed his as if its owner had read his mind, he probably would have made a run for it and attempted to stow away on the ferry to go back home.
"Ne, Gokudera, if you want to, we can stay in our rooms for a little while instead of following everyone straight away. We can do our own thing at our own pace."
Gokudera shook his head; he knew himself well enough to know that if he were to give in to his social uneasiness, he would never come out of the room until it was time to go back home – and if he did that, then Yamamoto was going to be sorely disappointed with him. "No, it's fine… We'll just find somewhere quiet instead."
"Okay." Yamamoto didn't mind at all; he was looking forward to exploring everything the resort had to offer, but he understood if that didn't happen; this wasn't easy for Gokudera, and he had to respect it.
"Ne, ne~ We have three rooms booked for Bel~" Bel was almost bouncing on the spot as he spoke to the receptionist. He waved a credit card around in excitement as the receptionist looked through the records on the computer; it was clear that the blond was the one looking forward to this the most – and could anyone blame him? He had lost his home and had been confined to a small hotel room for months now with not much to keep him entertained.
"How is it possible for someone to have so much energy?" Gokudera muttered to Tsuna.
Tsuna smiled shyly. "Mukuro told me he has ADHD, but his medication hasn't stopped him being so hyper all the time."
"He's not hurting anyone," Yamamoto pointed out. "He just gets excited; let him be."
It took seconds for Bel and Mukuro to come back to the younger trio's sides, and when they did, Gokudera was the first to speak. "How did you even pay for those rooms anyway? Surely you couldn't cover the costs, you little pervert."
"Ushishishi~ Squ-Squ gave me one of his credit cards~ We can go bankrupt him and buy all the food~! Shishishishi~ Let's go find our rooms~"
The small group didn't disagree; they would all enjoy dropping their bags off and getting rid of the weight.
The first room they entered was immediately claimed by Bel. He threw his bag to the ground as he rushed over to the window so he could look out, loving how he had a perfect view of the beach. "Ushishishi~ Look at all the girls in bikinis~! Mah, I wanna stay here and watch them~"
"Pervert…"
"Ooh~! A froggy umbrella~! Look, Mammy, a frog –" Bel cut himself off at his own words as he remembered his friend wasn't here. The room was silent for several moments before it was broken by a single sob. Bel ducked his head, but no one missed the first tear that trailed down his cheek and dripped onto the window ledge. "…Mammon…"
No one spoke; it was Mukuro who approached the blond and wrapped his arms around Bel. He whispered something to the smaller male, but it didn't seem to help; Bel's tears came harder until he was sitting on the ground, crying his heart out as he called for the friend he would never see again.
Yamamoto gathered the youngest two's attention. "Let's give them some privacy; he probably doesn't want to be seen like this."
All of a sudden, Gokudera felt sick again. Was it because he was already unwell as it was? Or because knowing he was treating someone in so much pain no better than he had treated Yamamoto all that time ago conjured up a feeling of remorse?
"Hey. Bel…" Gokudera frowned as he heard his own voice. He shifted uncomfortably when the blond looked up at him, revealing his usual pale face red and covered in tears. "…I… I know it hurts, but… But sometimes it's better to let go…"
Bel looked at the younger with the most heartbroken expression Gokudera had seen someone wear. The boy must have been absolutely devastated to have lost his friend, and the silver-haired male could understand that; he had probably worn an expression similar to Bel's when his mother had died. When he spoke, it was in a voice thick with despair. "B-but Mammy p-promised me s-s-she'd never l-leave me…"
"Yeah… I know…" With that said, Gokudera turned to leave; he couldn't be here because he wasn't cut out for this kind of thing, no matter how much he could relate.
As soon as the younger trio had stepped out of the room and closed the door behind them, Tsuna said, "That was really nice of you, Gokudera-kun; I didn't expect that from you."
"Yeah, well… I know how the little shit feels…"
Yamamoto smiled brightly as he wrapped his arms around the smaller male's shoulders. "Gokudera is becoming nicer by the day! He's cured!"
"Tch… Cured of what, idiot?"
"That terrible disease that prevented Gokudera being nice, happy and sociable." Yamamoto's smile was bright. "I'm glad he's better; Gokudera is much more loveable like this."
"…Idiot…" The smaller male blushed scarlet once again as he looked away in embarrassment. "…J-just because I didn't kick the bastard when he was down…"
Yamamoto kissed his boyfriend's temple. "You don't need to explain anything to me, Gokudera; I know you care about him, too; you just don't know him well enough yet to be nice to him."
"…" Gokudera sighed. Maybe the other was right… Maybe he was slowly coming out of the angry, withdrawn shell he had once hidden in – but if he was, did that mean he was ready to face it? He didn't feel like he was; it was still hard enough with Yamamoto, let alone other people…
But even so, Yamamoto was probably right; Gokudera hadn't said those things to Bel out of pity; he had said them out of empathy, and because he could understand how much it hurt to lose a loved one.
If that case the case… Yamamoto was surely right…