The Shoot
Ensconced on New Vulcan at Sarek's expansive compound, Carol and Uhura attended the photo shoot as VIP "guests" of Donal Trumpe. Presently they stood away from the chaos happening on the shoreline.
"Can you believe they're doing this?"
Carol's question interrupted Uhura's careful observations. The men of the bridge stood, at various comfort levels, getting made up and oiled up:
Kirk, a seasoned veteran in wearing only his underwear - including in Uhura's dorm room at the Academy - couldn't be more relaxed with the hands of Donal's adoring production staff working his body. Noting Jim's visible biological response to all that attention, Donal instructed the crew to keep him "photo ready".
At the other end of the spectrum, Scotty fought the hands trying to prepare him by slapping and cursing at them in equal measures. In desperation, Donal pleaded with Scotty to find someone he liked to oil him up. To everyone but Uhura's (and therefore, Spock's) surprise, he picked Carol.
Sulu, deep into his Zen buddhist calm persona, disturbed the heartbeats of both genders who fought each other to get more contact time with the Vulcan-like Asian in their midst. Sulu snagged a date with Sarek's administrative coordinator for later that evening despite the fact that her hands never touched his body that afternoon.
Spock experienced neither pride nor embarrassment about his body. Carol's shoulder bump reminded Uhura to stop acting like a newlywed while others performed actions for her husband that none but Uhura had ever done. Spock's amusement at her increasing arousal and jealousy didn't help. Fortunately, the differences between human and Vulcan anatomy would ensure that only Uhura knew the truth about Vulcan male physiology. Millennia of looking after passionate, emotional and lethally violent Vulcan males caused Mother Nature to revise her original design. Most of Spock's prodigious gifts sat well hidden inside a built-in carrying case deep within his pelvic girdle. Mother Nature's evolutionary design modification ensured that most Vulcan males reached maturity with their reproductive equipment in tact. Spock's image would defer to Jim Kirk's for the lust-filled customers of the calendar. And that was just fine with Uhura.
Of course, Spock had to tease her.
K'diwa, I would not wish to embarrass you. I can produce more visible evidence of my capabilities.
Uhura planned to kick his ass for that after they scientifically tested the strength of the Vulcan bed in their suite at Sarek's new compound.
McCoy, who hated everybody, treated the many people and many hands working on him with the same unbiased animosity as he did his friends, his family, his crew mates, his superiors at Starfleet Medical, his ex-wives' lawyers, his...