A/N: I suppose I should apologize for the harsh ending of last chapter. I swear, I did it for a reason. I think…

Thanks to Blakeyel1ner for keeping my commas straight and thanks to LucyValkyrie for reminding me not to start my sentences with the word 'and' so much. I couldn't have done this without them.

Enjoy!

Izaya walked down the street, not quite displaying his usual grace as he did so. Pronounced, though he would never admit it, the pain the bruising soreness in his hips caused him slowed his pace considerably. Even so, his hands were shoved lazily into his pockets and his usual smirk adorned his face. To be honest, he hadn't felt this satisfied in a while.

"Go on flea, get out."

The gruff words floated into Izaya's mind, shattering his contentment and making him furrow his brows. "It's not like either of us wants you to be here."

Ouch, that stung… Shaking his head, Izaya kept walking, fighting to keep his smug smile on his face. What the beast had said was absolutely true. Who in their right mind would want to stay in that warm, too small room with only one window and the musky smell of Shizuo wafting through it. He'd won, right? Getting what you wanted in the end certainly sounded like winning. He had started a game and now it was finished, simple as that.

But… It wasn't, was it?

Nothing in life was that simple.

Taking a deep breath, Izaya sprung onto the low wall beside the road and balanced on it easily, even with his… limp. As he glided along, he affirmed that what had happened, those wet kisses and low moans, meant nothing to him at all. It was just a stupid game to play with the fortissimo of Ikebukuro. A war of which he'd been the victor. Any residual emotions were to be expected, dealt with, then carefully ignored.

By tomorrow Shizuo would be back to throwing street signs at him and Izaya would be laughing as he dodged the monster's heart-felt rage. There wasn't anything more to it.

When his high-rise apartment came into sight, Izaya sighed. Honestly, the tall building with its steel and glass –cold and unforgiving at the best of times –was the last place he wanted to be, no matter how much he itched to return to his work. The emptiness didn't suit him as of now. In that moment, Izaya would have almost preferred something smaller, closer and warmer. Somewhere like-

What am I thinking? He shook his head and sighed.

Forcing his mind away from the dangerous edge it had almost fallen off of, Izaya resigned himself to the idea that if he didn't get some work done; Namie would only pester him more than she was going to already for skipping out on her this morning. As his movements went into autopilot, Izaya's mind was allowed to wander.

By the time I'm back to work, I'll be back to normal. Carefully, Izaya sorted through his emotions, methodically putting them into neat little boxes. While he couldn't quite make sense of the strange, hollow emptiness clawing at his insides, he chalked it up to residual desire. True he felt like he'd just lost something precious but really, gods were supposed to be above such things.

Shizuo certainly seemed above them, and he was only a monster.

"I'd show you out, but I think you already know the way."

Besides, after the events of the morning, what did Shizuo have that Izaya could possibly want? Gods and mere monsters didn't belong to the same plane of existence in the first place. Crossing that line had been temporary, a fling, a mistake even –except Izaya didn't make mistakes.

And so it did not matter.

"Don't look at me like that, you louse. It's not as if this changes anything. I still don't give a fuck about you." And of course, the sentiment was mutual. Izaya cared not a whit for the only human he seemed to be able to hate. But if that was so, why did it feel like he was being stabbed with a million icy needles? Why did he suddenly feel like his whole being had become an empty shell of it's former existence?

Why did it hurt?

Looking up, Izaya couldn't help but feel mildly surprised at the sight of his door. Since when could Shizu-chan rattle me so completely?

Since you let him fuck you against his kitchen counter, was the vulgar, unhelpful reply his mind gave him.

Stepping into his apartment, Izaya sighed, rolling his back and noticing as he did so the missing pops of his spine that typically accompanied the motion. It wasn't often he didn't spend the predawn and morning hours sitting before his computer screen. Striding through his apartment, he tried to bring his mind around to work, to unanswered emails and a business deal that was in a precarious spot –as they so often were. As knuckles went to his eyes, glazed over with too many unsavory thoughts, Izaya groaned. I need to stop thinking about him.

"Ugh, finally you're here, sure took you long enough. Where the hell have you been?" Namie, his secretary, stepped out of his kitchen, a scowl on her face. One hand was occupied holding a mug which, judging from the wonderful smells wafting from it, contained coffee. The other was placed on her hip. Irritation oozed from her form as she stared at him. At the sight of her, Izaya instinctively drew his coat up to cover his neck, hiding the bruises Shizuo had no doubt left there.

"Ah, you know Namie-san," Izaya waved a hand lazily, forcing his mind to focus on the person in front of him rather than a stupid monster that occupied all too many of his thoughts. "I've been out and about. There are always clients who need to talk with me; after all, I must treat all my wonderful humans with equal love." He chuckled.

The brunette tched irritably. "Your usual dose of insanity does nothing for you, don't kid yourself. You told me to come here early to get work done then you just run out? I really don't appreciate your games." Her anger-filled words brought forth a giggle from the informant's mouth.

"Come now Namie-san, that's no way to talk to your boss, now, is it?" Yes, he told himself. Focus on this. Ignore those pesky emotions that shouldn't be here at all but are. "What I do is my business and my business alone." Ignore the fact that you're trembling slightly. "And as a matter of fact, I do have extra work for you. Aren't you lucky?" He laughed softly at his own words. Just ignore the phoniness in your laughter plus all your other problems and you'll be alright.

Everything will be alright.

"You're not fooling anyone Izaya, what the hell is wrong with you?" Namie asked briskly, tone impatient, sending invisibly thin cracks across his mask.

Wide smile faltering for only a fraction of a second, Izaya maliciously said, "Why, I must be suffering from insanity as you so put it." Tapping his nose with a smirk he added, "You said it yourself that it did nothing for me."

Namie opened her mouth for a moment before snapping it shut and glowering at him. "You know what; I'm not in the mood for your shit Izaya. Just give me what I need to do; I'll go somewhere else to do it. If you're not going to tell me what's wrong, I don't care but I sure as hell am not going to sit around while you get crazy all over me." Storming past him, she shoved the coffee into his hands before walking to the table to gather up her things. "I assume this folder is what you wanted me to work on?"

"You're overreacting, ne?" Izaya turned to face her and forced the slightly trembling cup to his lips, taking a small sip before continuing, "After all, it's only-"

"Just answer the damn question." Namie snapped, cutting him off.

"Yes it is, but-"

"Listen Izaya, when people try to care about you, it's rude to act so flippantly. You currently look like you've been through a hurricane," Well that's one way to put it… "And I'm guessing you want to be alone, judging by the fact that you haven't stopped shaking since you walked in." Izaya fought to mask his shock at the fact that his secretary had noticed so much. Generally, she didn't pay any attention to him at all. How obvious was it that even she could see?

"If that's what you want to do Namie-san then go ahead." Izaya waved her away, smug expression slipping as he did so. Damn, he thought in frustration, why am I acting like… This? It's pathetic.

"Bastard." She muttered. "You just can't admit to having any sort of weakness, can you?" With that parting remark, she turned around and left, shutting the door behind her.

Swaying slightly where he stood, Izaya had to admit that Namie was right, he couldn't just say he had a weakness, especially one that made him feel so disgustingly human. Shizu-chan, a monster, couldn't be allowed to make him feel like this. Biting his lip, still swollen from Shizuo's rough treatment of it, Izaya set down the coffee cup and took off his coat. Moving resolutely to his computer, he was determined, by any means necessary, to drive that awful clawing sensation in his gut away.

Flicking it open Izaya tried to do something productive while simultaneously ignoring the pointless circles his words on the screen were taking him and trying not to pay attention to the stupid mistakes the trembling in his fingers caused him to make. After a grueling hour of feigned ignorance, Izaya slowly leaned back, raking fingers through his ebony hair, tugging on it as if that would change the desperate spirals his mind took him down.

You're acting stupid, it was just another game to play with the protozoan idiot, there was nothing behind it but momentary lust and dwelling on it isn't going to get you anywhere. It's over, you're done. Get something done and ignore the problem –the pain –till it goes away.

Frustrated, Izaya grit his teeth together. Flickers of fury raced through him as he thought about this mess, this lapse in judgement that had been committed. Not only had he driven Namie away, but he'd also lost his concentration and his composure. Shizuo had stolen them from him.

Oh yes, Shizuo's rough treatment of him had burned and it enraged him just as much as it hurt him. No, he couldn't be amused or satisfied or indifferent. Izaya hated Shizuo for what he had done.

For what they had done…

He felt dirty, tainted, covered in the cruelty of his precious beast. What had he been thinking? What had possessed him to lay himself bare before a creature who wanted nothing more than to devour him? He'd acted like a foolish human, thinking even momentary peace was possible and now Izaya was paying for it with the deterioration of his masks that had protected him.

It hurts. Being human hurts.

Everything felt like it was collapsing in on him, trapping Izaya inside his own head. With just one action all that the raven had built up around himself as protection against humanity had been hollowed out from the inside. Was he really that close to his humans? Was he really that fragile? Izaya shook his head, trying desperately to clear it.

He felt like screaming.

It was as if he was at the edge of a precipice, clinging to life by the barest threads of sanity. Hands slipping, string straining, he was one second form insanity, one second from snapping, one second from-

A phone rang.

Thoughts breaking like brittle ice, Izaya's head snapped up, his carmine eyes struggling to focus on the room. Looking over his many phones, all meticulously organized in the far right corner of his desk, Izaya dimly realized his one red phone was making the noise.

Only one person has that number… he remembered, dimly.

Mind flying back into place with a jarring thump, Izaya lurched forward, snatching the phone up without hesitation. If it had been anyone else, Izaya would have ignored the call, his personal well being clearly more important than anyone else, but this was different. This was business and you couldn't just avoid it and hope it would go away.

Besides, ignoring Shiki just wasn't something you did. Ever. Not for any reason.

Dragging in a steadying breath, Izaya answered the call and smoothly said, "Ah, Shiki-san, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

A chuckle emanated from the other end of the line. "Good of you to pick up Orihara-san, I was concerned you might still be out." Izaya recoiled slightly from the implications of Shiki's words but he didn't rise to the jibe. Clearing his throat, Shiki continued, "I take it you aren't busy with anything important?"

Izaya smiled and spun in his chair, looking at the flying colors of the room only absently. "Nothing that can't wait." he assured his employer. "Why?"

"I have a job for you Orihara-san."

A/N: Okay so, don't kill me yet. I know this story looked like an open/shut situation but my sis kept telling me that this thing was 'just smut'. And it is! Was. I went all plotline on this sucker and well… I changed the summary didn't I? So yeah… We're all good.

And Enjoy.

I'm about to ruin Izaya's life…