Here is another chapter for you guys. I hope you enjoy.
Warning same as before: If thoughts of suicide bother you then do not read.
I do not own hetalia.
When Romano had finally woken up it was still raining outside. It was still dull and gray out. It did not put him in a better mood at all. In all reality it did not even seem to faze him. It was like he was not even there. The body there was just a shell. His soul somewhere far, far away. At least . . . that is what it felt like.
He got up and out of bed in a daze. The first thing he did was head to the bathroom and start a shower himself. His clothes were still a bit damp from the night before. So, he immediately shed off the clothing. It was necessary to complete the task of showering after all.
When the water had warmed up enough the lifeless nation stepped under the water. If he were anyone else he would have found it nice and relaxing. But he still felt nothing. He just went through the motions until he was squeaky clean. The time just flew by.
When he got out and went to his room his picked out some clothes blindly and headed downstairs. As soon as he reached the kitchen he was greeted with a cheerful voice and the smell of freshly brewed coffee.
"Hola!" the cheerful voice yelled. Romano looked up to see the man he had avoided seeing the night before. A wide grin was plastered onto his face as always as he looked at Romano with his emerald eyes.
The shorter nation did not reply to the other. Instead he just grabbed a cup and filled it up with coffee. Sitting at the table he drank it slowly. Not even bothering to acknowledge the presence of the Spaniard. He did not seem to mind being ignored. He only sat there and watched Romano while eating a tomato that he had gotten off the counter.
An hour went by in complete silence. Which was actually quite odd seeing as the Spaniard could never keep quite. He was just as bad as Feliciano, Romano's little brother. When the Italian looked back over at the other man he was surprised to see him looking out the window with a thoughtful look on his face.
"Roma?" he said curiously. Said person grunted in response. Spain made a face for a moment before turning to Romano. "Are you sad?"
This caught Romano off guard. The Spanish nation was always so oblivious to everything. He could never sense mood in any situation. So, why could he now? Out of all the years they had lived he chooses now to notice something. "He cannot know. It would make things so much more difficult and annoying then they need to be," he thought to himself. Forcing an angry look onto his face he growled. "Why the hell would I be sad you bastard?! I'm not a weakling like my brother!"
With Romano pulling off his normal attitude perfectly, Spain smiled. "The rain must have just been nothing then," he thought. Not even thinking that the Italian could be lying to him. "Ha-ha, of course Roma~ I guess I was just overthinking things!"
Romano rolled his eyes. "Idiot," he mumbled. He looked back down to his half empty cup of coffee. "I want to be a person who is still being 'me', but . . . that would not really be me anymore."
"Too bad it is raining though. I wanted to do some gardening today," Spain said quietly. His voice holding just a tiny amount of sadness. But Romano knew that the older nation would get over it soon. Even if he was older, he still acted like a child.
Just as Romano was going to tell him to get over it the doorbell rug. He groaned in annoying. "Who would want to come over in such shitty weather? I do not want to see anyone. I want to be alone." Even though he really did not want to, he still went to go answer the door.
Before he could even see who it was or cuss out the intruder he was pulled into a bone crushing hug. "Ciao, fratello!" a familiar voice yelled into his ear.
"Just great. Is god trying to test how long I can keep up this façade?" Romano thought to himself. "What the hell, Italy! Get off!" he growled. Pushing his little brother off of him. Italy just smiled and laughed.
"Don't be so rude Roma," Spain chastised as he walked into the living room to greet Itlay. "Hola, Italy~"
"Big brother Spain! You are over here, too?! I thought fratello kicked you out last week." He tilted his head in confusion.
"Oh yeah. I had forgotten about that," Romano thought to himself.
Spain laughed awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, well . . . I think I am forgiven. Maybe. He has not told me to go away yet."
If Romano had not been lost in his thoughts again he probably would have made some kind of comment. But his mind would not stop sending him wave after wave of depressing thoughts.
He did not even notice when the two cheerful idiots went into the kitchen to cook something for lunch. Nor did he notice when he walked up the stairs and locked himself in his room. Only when he found himself staring out his window for the millionth time did he become aware of his surroundings.
It looked like it was going to storm soon. That was probably why Italy was over. He was terrified of thunder and lightning. So, naturally he did not want to be alone. But Romano DID want to be alone. He just wanted everything to go away.
He went and sat on the bed. His heart feeling heavy with all of the sadness it held. He felt tears gathering in his eyes. "I wish I could be like Italy . . . or like Spain. They are so happy. They do not have a care in the world. They can still find enjoyment in doing simple things like cooking or gardening." He found himself letting the gathering tears fall down his face. He just could not seem to stop. There was nothing for him in the world anymore. Even seeing his brother did nothing to bring happiness to his soul. He closed his eyes tightly as he put a hand over his heart.
"If I am this way I would never want to stay."
Question: I am thinking of doing a time skip for the next chapter to get further into his depression. Yay or nay?
Please review. Thank you again for reading!