The importance of toaster safety.
Stephen Colbert lie confused on the ground, grasping the back of his head in an attempt to affirm its status as injured. The neon lights of the club's dance floor polluted the simple blue lighting of the bar where stephen was sprawled on the floor. The blow stephen had received in response to an off hand comment on the ill reputation of the wrong individual's mother stung along the base of his skull. Stephen was relieved when he found he had lost no blood upon inspecting his own grasping hand. Struggling to his feet despite the pain and drunken stupor, Stephen turned to face his irritated opposition. It would appear that his antics had offended a particularly threatening individual. The figure towered over Stephen, and let out a maniacal laugh at the sight of him sprawled on the floor.
From a deep and resounding voice came a sentence possessing more in common with the growl of a wild beast than it had with a civilized tongue. "Stephen Colbert, you will regret your words and actions."
"Now, you listen hear! It wasn't my fault that your mother caught me drunk last night, I promise you this: Had I been sober, I woul-"
The foot of the assailant rocketed forth, and sent Stephen rolling along the floor. The blow stung like hornet with a holding a lego brick being stepped on, but Stephen kept his cool and gathered his thoughts. The shadowy being above him seethed with rage, and finally the lights of the club illuminated the stranger's face. It was Hideo Kojima, returned to seek vengeance on those who wronged him. Stephen Colbert shakily forced himself on his feet, a look of determination in his eyes. Kojima charged at Stephen with a killing intent, but Stephen merely looked on with a mournful expression.
"Hokuto Shinken is invincible." Muttered Stephen to himself.
With a flurry of blows far too fast to see, Kojima fell to his knees. Blood poured out of various holes in his body, and Kojima recognised the technique at last. His thoughts soon faded into the slumber of peace, and Stephen looked on in resignation. It was all Stephen could to, knocking him unconscious, when he realized the full extent of the conspiracy afoot. Stephen's clothing, now torn by his bulging and patriotic muscles, flowed in the gentle breeze of the grassy fields he now inexplicably found himself in. The moon, so pure in its gentle light, serenaded the earth with its beautiful song of silence. Stephen Colbert turned to leave this place of peace, but found his path blocked by a man in tattered cloth.
"We seek not to create content, but to provide context." The figure stated.
"Luffy will become the pirate king!" Colbert exploded in fury.
The outburst was rather uncharacteristic of Stephen, yet his passion on the subject was well known. There was not a man alive who could match his passion for exotic lubricants, which was even used as currency by certain affluent individuals. Cory was flabbergasted. All he had done was cut in line for the cafeteria, but now Ratboy Genius was screaming about becoming the Hokage. He tried to calm his agitated friend, but his words were lost on the animalistic rage that had possessed him. Ratboy Genius did a DIO, and now the room was filled with steamrollers, knives, and homosexual men of questionable ethnicity wearing leotards. Cory couldn't imagine the punishment he would receive for all of the Vanilla Icecream his Friend had spilt. The cafeteria was in complete tatters, and now his plans were coming apart around him. How could he possibly topple the Britannian government now? He looked outward towards the setting sun, and reminisced on the days of his childhood. All those years preparing for the election, only for his chances to be ripped away from him by those meddling individuals of special needs. Cory knew how he would salvage this situation, and hastily left to enact his plans.
Meanwhile across the city, Shadow the Hedgehog screaming the lyrics to "In the End." These actions came naturally to the historian, and he felt a deep connection to his implements of science Adjusting the intensity of his science thing, Shadman looked upon his newest creation. His newest comic arose from the primordial fog of pre-life, and inquired as to its purpose.
"Go out, and zap to the extreme!"
With these words the end of all things began. Science looked with glee as this patchwork abomination shambled to unlife. The beast was possessed of such a horrid disposition that even gravity wanted nothing to do with it, which is why you should never slow down in East-Cleveland. Goku had no words for the monstrosity that stood before him, and he struggled to find a rebuttal to the accusations of his opponent.
"There is evidence supporting this! There is nothing to indicate I have engaged in such activities." Goku shouted to his opponent.
It had been a long and gruelling campaign, and trying to match his opponent had left him drained. Even now he was not sure that he truly wished to win this election. Both candidates, Goku and Yuuki Terumi, were chilled to the bone with the arrival of a mysterious laughter emanating from the rafters. The two opponents stopped their debate to face the source of this laughter. The current president, Barrack Obama, stood alone where once the audience sat. His knee-length coat billowed in the wind, and Obama unbuttoned the top buttons on his shirt. His muscles were revealed to be finely tuned killing machines, and Obama looked upon the two warriors.
"Now here do you stand, on the eve of your usurpation, ready to relinquish your very essence! This election was naught but a ruse! You shall feed me your very souls, and I shall rise in power once more!"
The violent whipping of his coattails intensified as an odd aura surrounded him. Goku flew towards him only to find his strikes deflected with a single hand, and Terumi found himself behind the president, knives poised to strike. Obama shifted his hand from a block to a grapple, and lifted himself using Goku as an anchor. Terumi's rush was caught by Obama's foot, having pirouetted off of Goku, sending the two candidates crashing into one another. The power Obama possessed was unnatural, and the president began to glow with a golden light. Terumi's tone was venomous:
"You bastard! What cheap trick is this?!"
"I assume you mean… the CHAOS EMERALDS!?"
Goku and Terumi looked on in horror as Super Obama was born.