Uhura Walked into a Bar - Volume 1

by The-Watcher-Observes

Sometimes the best defense is a good left hook. Read bar tales of Nyota Uhura - certified badass - and her victims. The Xenophobe Ch-3, The Ex-Wife Ch-5, The Xeno-Psychologist Ch-9, The Ex-Fiancee Ch-13, The Envoy Ch-20, The Career Change Ch-29, The Boys' Club Ch-34, The Swimsuit Calendar with Donal(d) Trump(e) Ch-39. Thanks - *53,000* hits!

70. --

"What'ya got for us, Sulu?"

Carol Marcus quietly entered Jim's quarters, appearing pale and apologizing with a look for being late. Tapping sounds stopped and the helmsman smiled at the collected group.

"Starfleet and the Federation kept most of the credits we donated - thanks to Mrs. Uhura. So did the Vulcan Remnant fund.

"Even though we eventually won, it's been costly - especially defending Mr. Scott's court-martial. Add in the product liability claims from the dolls..."

"We got trashed financially - but..."

Sulu did devious better than anyone on the bridge.

"I managed, with Uhura's mother's help, to divert some funds when Gottee's civil verdict got overturned; we also got an anonymous donation to the Enterprise rainy day fund."

"Who donated?" Kirk asked.

"You're the only genius I know who can't define the word 'anonymous'."

McCoy's sarcasm hit its target.

"This is confidential. Mrs. Uhura kicked in some of her fees from the other Risa defendants and the settlement from the Risan government for false imprisonment of her daughter to the Enterprise fund and us.

"So we'll each come out of this with all our bills paid -"

"Hallelujah!"

McCoy would be solvent and debt free for the first time since his 6th birthday.

"- and about 100,000 credits each. Except Spock - he and Uhura will get about half a million credits after the Risan settlement."

"I will pay my mother-in-law's fees from our share."

"She said you'd try that. She told me to tell you -"

Sulu looked down to read the phrase verbatim from his PADD.

" - and I quote 'Pay me back by making babies - I intend to win that pool Hikaru told me about'."

The flush that hadn't cleared from Spock's head and face darkened as his "friends" lost it to laughter yet again.

Carol dropped her PADD. She wasn't laughing.

"Lassie, are you alright?"

Leaning over, Carol reached for the PADD then bolted for Jim's bathroom.

Five perplexed men suddenly became one perplexed man being stared at by four friends who'd just got a clue.

"What?" Scotty responded to the looks, arms up to communicate his confusion.

With a droll twinkle in his unemotional eyes, Spock explained the most probable future.

"It would appear, Mr. Scott, that Nyota will win the offspring pool and that you will soon require larger quarters."