So back to the wedding. Ian was being a total diva, obviously, and needed every detail to be perfect. Mickey just wanted a well-stocked bar and a sweet bachelor party.

"These flowers look wilted. Your whores are not very good at this," Ian puffed as he paced around the bar.

"Hey it's wasn't my whores, it was Carl, and they look fine," Mickey puffed back. They were getting on each others nerves and it wasn't helping anyone.

"Well Carl's pretty fucking bad at picking out flowers. No wonder his girlfriend skipped town."

Mickey's eyes widen. "Hey whoa there. Shots fired. What's with you today?"

"Nothing. I just want this wedding to be perfect."

"Well take a step back there because you're acting like a little bitch." Ian was fuming and ready to pick a fight when Svetlana walked in with Mickey's son in tow.

"You and orange boy need to take baby."

"What, no way! He's not even dressed!"

"That is why I need you to take him, stupid. I need to buy clothes for baby."

Ian perked up and smiled wide at the baby. "Come here, you little slugger!"

Mickey turned and gave Ian a look. "Little slugger? One minute you're Bridezilla, next you're parent of the year?"

"Come see uncle Ian!" Ian totally ignored Mickey and smiled wide at the infant in his arm. Svetlana headed for the door. "I'll be back in one hour," she shouted as the door slammed behind her.

"You know, you could probably have him call you daddy or some shit. Just if you wanted," Mickey gently said after Svetlana left.

"Really? She wouldn't mind?" Ian gawked.

"Hell, you're raising this kid just as much as she is, so I think you deserve a little credit." Mickey smiled shyly as Ian beamed. They were starting a family.

"But wouldn't he be all mixed up if we're both daddy?" Ian ask coyly as he turned his attention back to the baby boy.

"I'll be called dad or dada or something. Look, it doesn't fucking matter. You don't just have to be Uncle Ian to him is all." Mickey scuffled away to look for anything else to do besides take care of his son.

"Oh dada?" Ian called out after Mickey, who replied "Shut your fucking mouth" and walked out the back door. Ian laughed and laughed as the baby stared up at him and continued teething on Ian's hand.

Mickey did various odd jobs in that hour, just trying to pass the time until Svetlana took the baby back. Sheila brought the cake by, along with about 400 pounds of lasagna, and Mandy started setting up the camera she stole just for today. Ian was having a grand old time with the kid, while Mickey was getting more pissed by the second.

"Where the hell is this bitch, huh? I ask her to do one thing, take care of the kid, and she just fucks me over." Mickey paced back and forth while Ian cooed and awed at the child in his arms.

"Aw come on Mick, he's yours."

"Don't give me that shit. It could be anyones, she's just telling me it's mine because I'm not beating the shit out of her like her last pimp."

Ian walked over to Mickey so close that their breaths mixed in the air, that their feet were touching. He looked down at the baby and then again at Mickey. "He's fucking family."

"No he's not and you know it."

"You once said that about me though. Both that I am and aren't family. So which is it?" Mickey rubbed his hands over his face and growled low. Why did Ian always have to pull this shit?

"You fucking are and you know it."

"Then so is he." The baby reached up for Ian and tugged on his collar. "It's our family, Mickey. Me, you, and this baby."

"What about that bitch wife of mine?"

"She's like aunt Ginger: she's family but we only talk to her when we need her. Or cash her checks for that matter."

Mickey cracked a smile just as Svetlana stomped in with two shopping bags. Mickey noticed this and protested almost immediately. "Woah there, you only said you were buying for the kid."

"I had to pick something for myself. For the wedding." Svetlana took the baby from Ian and glared at Mickey.

"Who said you were coming?" Mickey was practically fuming.

"I got invitation, stupid. Orange boy gave it to me." Mickey's mouth was wired shut. If he was fuming before, this was a whole new level of angry.

"Bye, Svetlana!" Ian called out as she left with the baby and Mickey's happiness.

"Why the fuck would you go and do that?" Mickey could never scream at Ian, but he was getting pretty close with this one.

"She's family, Mick. I don't like her either, but she's family."

"She threatened you with a fucking hammer."

"And it doesn't matter anymore because I'm with you."

Mickey took a long, hard look at Ian, and tackled him to the ground.