Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect and make no monetary claim to any of Bioware's own ideas.

A/N: I'm doing my best to get back into the groove of things on fanfiction. I put up a cover image as I'm sure some of you noticed, but is is more of a placeholder. For now, here is the story.

Normandy SR-1

February 8th, 2183 12 A.M. E.C.S.T.

"Um..." Comes the voice of one Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, pulling me from my plans of murder.

"Hey." I greet her. I move to the bed opposite the one she's sitting on, flopping down in an undignified heap.

"So.. I guess we're roommates.." She starts, seemingly surprised at my lack of reaction.

"It would appear so. I'll ask Shepard about it tomorrow."

"O.. Kay then." She replies, shifting about.

"I'm too tired to react to it, sorry."

"..Oh."

"You know I'll never walk away, baby."

"You already have. How quickly did you flee?"

"Don't be like that, come on."

"NO! You ran away, again! Everything you touch only dies, so stop!"

"Please, Ana.."

"Daddy, where are you? Why don't you care?

"Letti, It's not like that."

"Then where are you? Please, come home!"

"Sweetie, I can't... No! Please, come back!"

"Daddy, Where are you? Where..."

The world snaps into focus. Dull metal walls, twin-sized bed. Breathing hard, laying in a puddle of sweat. I close my eyes a moment, forcing air in and out of my lungs at a steady rate. My muscles ache, unable to ever relax thanks to my near-nightly torture. A flick of my arm brings up my Nexus X, revealing I've slept 6 hours. Pretty good, considering my recent track record. I dress, and make my way out quietly as to not disturb the still-sleeping engineer, destination set for the bathroom to clean up.

Shepard greets me as I take a seat in the mess hall. "Bad night?" He asks, taking in my disheveled appearance.

"You could say that." I mutter. "Meanwhile, you must think you're hilarious." He grins.

"Well, I have my moments."

"So, why did you put me in a room with Tali?"

"Process of elimination."

"Que?"

"Well, I had to figure out how to place seven people from all walks of life," He starts to explain. " It was simple enough to put Ashley and Liara in a room together, as to not cause undue drama between genders. Same with Garrus and Kaiden. That left Wrex, Tali, and you. I wasn't about to make a Krogan cooped up on a spaceship share a room with anyone, and I figured out of the three women, you were most likely to behave yourself with Tali around." He interjects me as I open my mouth to argue my gentlemanliness. "And I figured of the three remaining men, you were the most likely to not cause drama bunking with a female." I close my mouth, but frown. "Was I wrong?" He asks.

"No, but.."

"Just go with it for now, and we'll see how things progress." He says with finality. I sigh.

"Alright, then. I'll be in the cargo bay handling dangerous materials."

"Echo." The sight of a C-Sec officer being this close in proximity to me in any other situation would leave said officer in a world of shit.

"Hi Garrus."

"Whatcha working on?" He gestures towards the assortment of parts and schematics laid out over my workbench.

"Just going over plans for new weapon designs. It's a fairly tough market to break into in terms of modifying existing weapons, so I'm trying to design something new."

"Hmm." He looks of the various designs with a professional eye. "Which of these schematics are yours?"

"The red ones," I answer, still looking over the design in my hand. He picks one up.

"Wait, you designed the Eviscerator?" He asks skeptically.

"Helped with it, really. Most of the design was already there." I nod towards my locker. "One of the first off of the line is in there. Heavily modified, and one of my prized possessions." He nods.

"And this one?"

"A Squad Assault Weapon. floating bed recoil compensators, a different type of ammo shaping. It'll be both powerful and able to lay down suppressive fire, once I solve the heat management. As is, it can barely get out 15 shots before overloading the sinks."

"Maybe a new sink design is in order." He remarks. I smile.

"Maybe. So what were you up to by the Mako?"

"Ah, just getting it to run a bit more efficiently for our purposes." He starts, and I can see his face light up slightly. "The factory specifications are good, but not optimized. Calibrations are required for peak performance."

Uh-oh.

He seems to pick up on my sense of impending doom."Something wrong?" I recover quickly enough.

"Ah, nothing. I just used to know a guy who was utterly obsessed with calibrations. It's all he would do, and all he would talk about."

"Ugh," He starts. "If I ever end up like that, shoot me."

"Noted." He chuckles at this.

"Well, with no Mako to work on right now, You don't have to worry. Did Shepard say when we were getting a new one?"

"I talked to Shepard earlier. We're en route to the Citadel now."

"Good. I need to grab a couple of things from my apartment anyways."

"Apartment?" I question. "I thought all C-Sec officers had to live under their desks." He looks at me a moment, and grins in a Turian fashion.

"Don't knock the desk. It has gotten me through some hard times."

"Fair enough."

(Tali POV)

I watch my roommate as he readies himself for what I had thought to be little more than a shopping trip onto the Citadel. But who carries a near-full compliment of weapons on a shopping trip?

"Planning to go to war?" I ask him, watching as he slides several small knives into the inside of his sleeve.

"Always be armed, it'll keep you alive if you're someone like me." He answers.

"And the necklace?" I question. His hand drifts up to his neck seemingly of it's own accord.

"Just... Reminders, some. Tradition, the others." I see that flash of pain in his eyes again, so well-hidden, yet so obvious for those who know how to look.

"Hey." I start as he moves to the door. "What is it with you?" The question comes out far differently than I'd wanted it to.

"What do you mean?" He asks, tense.

"Something, many things, have happened to you. Don't try to deny it," I say as he moves to argue. "It's written in your eyes, something you can't cover up. You walk around with all this pain, unwilling to let it go. Why?" His face hardens, and I see the error of my ways.

'Oh, Keelah Tali? What are you doing? You've known him for a night, and you just jump into his personal life? What is wrong with you? He could snap, for all you know! You have no right to-'

"If you were to let go of what hurts, then there are no feelings...Like mental purgatory." His face is downcast now, his mind far, far away from his body. "Casting away good feelings with it, unable to keep hold, unlikely to find a replacement...It is life. Everyone suffers, and life in general is cruel..But the true feelings, held closest, are the ones that burn most. There are sacrifices made in life, found to be inevitable, they cannot be avoided." As he speaks, something seems to be uncoiling inside of him, like a long-dead creature once again feeling life.

"Living with pain...Is better than letting go...Than death. To end... To end is to let go... To give up... To fail. It is not an option for me to fail. Life is not perfect. People are not perfect. No matter the pain, no matter how agonizing, grinding your insides like some sort of parasite...Anyone can survive... It is the will of organics. No God, no angel or demon, no Ancestor can eliminate your life in this Galaxy, or repair it, even if it were broken from the start..." I realize that I am hanging on these words, for never have I heard something so personal, with so much emotion in it.

"But the belief...The feeling to have your own thoughts... It is something precious. Take care of yourself, and those you love... If nobody else will love you...Love yourself...Even driving yourself crazy won't lift you from hurt. Believe in yourself. You are alive. You are your own self, the only you. Life is a test of strength, of will. By taking the worst life can throw at you, and still do good, for others and yourself, proves that you can survive your pain. It is not easy alone, but often the path of solitude keeps others from feeling that pain. And so it is a road I walk." His eyes refocus, and he closes them. "These are the words I try to live by, spoken by someone who was very important to me, and now is long gone. But his message survives." He looks at me, rather sheepishly. "I've never told anybody about this stuff. Nobody ever really asked." He takes another long look at me. "There is something about you Tali'Zorah. You remind me of someone I used to know. Time will tell if that's a good thing or not."

And without another word, he walks out the door, leaving me to wonder about what he just said, and the meaning behind it. I open my Omni-Tool, listening to those words again.

"Alright, everyone, listen up." Shepard stands before the assembled ground team inside C-Sec Headquarters. "The M-35 I requisitoned is en route here and will be ready to load in three hours. For now, you all have time to wrap up anything on the Citadel you may need to, because we won't be back for a while. just be back here before it's time to go. Dismissed." The group quickly breaks apart, and I'm about to head off myself when Shepard stops me.

"Something you need?" I ask.

"Yeah, the Council would 'appreciate'" He says with finger quotes. "A meeting with me in person. Meanwhile, I need you to take Liara," He gestures to the only other ground team member still here. "And get her geared up. Armor, weapons, the works. Put it on my Alliance tab."

"It'll be done Commander." I affirm, Then look towards the rather timid scientist. "Dr. T'soni, shall we be off?"

It wasn't too terribly difficult, when I consider it, to get Liara to open up. I merely had to get on the subject of the Protheans, and the cycle that she had discovered. Soon, she is speaking of her homeworld, her people, and her life. I simply listen patiently as we walk towards the Wards, taking into account that this is probably the first real conversation she's had in years.

"... And it is really more of an uncommon event, as few practice the religion anymore." She concludes, taking in a breath as we reach our destination. "Um.. Is this the best place for this sort of thing?" She asks, looking at the building's exterior.

"Don't let the looks fool you; Granith has personally made most of my gear, and he is a consummate professional." I walk inside, leaving Liara no choice but to follow.

A Salarian stands at the counter. "Welcome to Tuchanka Arms, where only the strongest of gear can survive! My name is Esid, how can I help you?"

"I would like to speak with Granith," I say. "Is he here?"

"He's in the back, but has asked not to be disturbed."

"Trust me, he'll drop what he's doing if he knows I'm here. Tell him Cory Weston is up front." Esid disappears behind one of the curtains dividing up the shop, and sure enough Ravanor Granith comes out, and extends his hand to mine for a hardy shake.

"My favorite customer indeed, what can I do for you?" He says, gesturing towards the back room. We follow, though Liara seems a bit jumpy. Considering Granith's likeness to the man who'd just tried to kill her yesterday, I don't blame her. Nevertheless, we take a seat at a stone table that is likely older than I or even Liara by several centuries.

"My friend here needs some equipment," I gesture towards my own armor. "Something that can help her with her natural biotic talent, without sacrificing protection or maneuverability."

"I have something that could work well, tailored for Asari Commandos, but a bit more in the way of armor than their standards. Interested?" I look towards Liara, who looks like she doesn't have a real opinion in terms of specifications.

"That should work," I nod. "She also needs some weaponry. A top-of-the-line pistol, for one, and a sub-machine gun for close-up encounters could be handy. One of my modified designs, for power."

"Okay, Scorpion, or MP-9?"

"MP-9 should be a bit more her speed." He nods.

"Okay, and I have some good pistols in here for such an occasion. When do you need this stuff ready?"

"Three hours, at the most. And I need a replacement P90. Both of them the thermal sink kind."

"Bah," He grumbles. "Those have no flair. What's the point of firing a weapon that can't take off an opponent's head like an axe?"

"I know, Granith, but I have some people in need. Also, could you get some ammo crates ready? 5.7 and .50."

"That'll take more than three hours." He says.

"I know, but have them ready. I get the feeling I'll be using a lot more than I had first thought."

"Okay then." He looks over the list. "Will that be all for you and your 'Friend'?" He asks, smirking.

"This one's just a teammate," I chuckle. "And yeah, that'll work."

"I'll have everything ready in 90 minutes," He says. "Just to prove a point."

"Good man." I say by way of farewell, and turn to Liara. "So, Omni-Tool next?"

A/N: Trying to move the story along, I promise. Shit's... Not going well here. At all. But I'm doing my best to stay positive. Also, this story is EXPLODING. I want to thank everyone who's read, because this is generating far more buzz than I would've thought. Look at this: Reviews 35 Followers 70

Favorites 41 Communities 2

Views 7,699,

This is insane! I'm seriously happy. Now, I love you all favoriting /following, but please review. People see that number first, and it can decide the popularity of a story. Even if it's just "Good so far." Thanks guys :).

One last thing, not really important. Forwarded form the author's page: For anyone interested, I need a cover of some kind for Of soul and Steel. PM me for my desired idea, or just make something and email it to me :) (I will give you said address if you ask) I will publicize your work, give you an OC, add you as a beta, pretty much whatever you want that I can give, except money. I don't have that ;)