AN: wat up im back. here have something i vomited up

Sanae-fan- hey, thanks for telling me your name. at least i have something to call you other than sanae fan in my head lol. anyway, thanks for the review(reviews, since you did review more than once and on my other stories). I guess I have to disagree with you on Tsubasa being right. Sanae has always been supportive of Tsubasa's dream, even in the manga and anime, and I didn't change any of that. I just added that maybe Sanae has a dream more than being Tsubasa's wife you know. I mean, in canon, they did get married young and i felt like her life fell a little short. she couldn't even enjoy being a young adult because she was so hung up on being his wife. i dont even know if she truly knows herself. like by the time junior high rolled around, she groomed herself to be tsubasa's wife, calming down and just being... blah. so in here, i just thought maybe, maybe she wanted to know the world, to feel like she knows herself and she wanted to learn more who she is and who she could be. thats why she wants to go abroad, because if you dont know yourself, then does anyone? besides, there's one advantage in this whole situation but thats a secret ;))) thanks for reading and please continue (don't get intimidated by my response. sorry for it being so long. if you want to talk more about this, just send me a pm or go to my tumblr: spocketlaine*tumblr*com / ask . just replace the * into . not the dash tho)

Guest- he should support her, doesn't he? but who knows. he has his own thoughts and opinions

Sone-here is the update!

yeah i dont own captain tsubasa

Chapter 34: Lost

She never knew her heart could feel so heavy. It's just really disappointing, finding out that the one person who she hoped would understand her didn't even see why she badly wanted so bad to pursue her dreams. She couldn't understand how he thought her situation was any different than his. She just wanted to be a writer, and going to Columbia would help her reach her goal. It wasn't any different from his own goal.

It just really hurts, when he couldn't accept her decision to study in America.

It's been three days since their- their fight and she was sure people were already noticing. Tsubasa wasn't very discreet in ignoring her and she could still feel how angry he was at her. No matter how she tried, he just didn't want to talk to her.

She missed him, really she did. God, it's only been three days and she couldn't even take being separated from him. How would it feel if she went to New York? And the worse part of this was that he was angry at her.

Maybe she should have thought more about this, talked with Tsubasa first before anything. Maybe- maybe he might even be right…

No. No. She decided on Columbia even before she even started dating Tsubasa. All her life she's been preparing for this, ever since she was thought to write. She poured all her heart and soul trying to keep up grades, joining school activities, playing a sport, and all those community service for this school. She worked hard just to get in this university and she was damn sure that she was going there.

It hurt, knowing that Tsubasa didn't see what she wanted. He didn't even know how much of her time she put into this. Sure, it wasn't as much as the time he put into studying in Sao Paolo, but this was just as important to her like how Brazil was important to him. The only thing she wanted from him was his support in her decision to pursue her dream, to understand how badly she wanted this, just like how much he wanted to go pro in Brazil. That's it, nothing else.

She knew that she this going to put a strain in their relationship, but she was hoping that he would put effort to make it work? They love each other didn't they? So he shouldn't have a big problem with this. He didn't need to make a big deal out of this.

Really, she wasn't asking him for much. Just his support and effort to keep each other together. But if he wasn't even willing to support her, then she shouldn't expect anything more from him.

Maybe- maybe they weren't even meant to be together.

He stared at the ceiling of his room with a frown on his face. It's been at least a week since he last talked with Sanae and it was terrible. This was the longest he's been without even speaking to her and it's driving him crazy. Well, he only had himself to blame. He was the one who decided to start ignoring her. It's just that, he was still… upset with what she told him about her decision for her future.

He just couldn't understand it. Why couldn't she just stay in Japan to study? It's not like it Japan didn't have good universities. Tokyo U was pretty decent last time he heard. And if she was looking for a private university, there's always Keio University. If she wanted a little more closer to home, Shizuoka University was just a few hours away. Japan wasn't lacking in having great univeristies, so why did she have to pick that damn school anyway?

Why did it have to be in America?

He sighed and hid his face behind his hands.

He hated this. He truly did. Just because of this stupid thing, they were breaking apart. Their friends were already starting to notice, and Genzo was already trying to ask him about this. They weren't used to them not talking. Hell, he wasn't even used to it. They've always been together and when they've been ignoring each other for this long, something was definitely wrong with them. If she just dropped this whole thing, then they wouldn't even be like this in the first place.

What was so bad with just going to school in Japan? He was sure that they'd have whatever program she wanted to study. Why was going to that school better? He just couldn't understand why she has to leave Japan, leave her friends, leave her family.

It almost even feel like she was leaving him.

Sure, he might be a hypocrite for feeling that way since he himself was going away, but there's a difference. He was leaving her with a promise to be with her, that no matter what happens, she'd always be on his mind, that he was leaving his heart to her.

And he would know that her heart will be his too.

If she left- if Sanae left, he didn't know what was going to happen to them, to him.

"Tsubasa? Are you awake? It's almost time for school!"

He sighed once more and got up from his bed.

It was no use mulling about this. He had more things to worry about than thinking about this whole stupid thing.

Kumi could see that something was wrong between Tsubasa-senpai and his girlfriend. They weren't really discreet with it to be honest. It's been at least three weeks since they actually gave notice that one of them knew they existed. At first, it was mostly just Tsubasa-senpai who was ignoring her, while Nakazawa-senpai tried to catch his attention. But when the second week rolled around, she didn't even put any more effort into trying to talk to him. She was ignoring him now just as much as he did.

She wasn't the only one who noticed the strange behavior from their soccer captains. She was sure everyone else began to noticed it too. After all, gossips do fly pretty fast in a high school like theirs. And she was positively their teammates knew there's something wrong with the two of them. If even someone like her noticed, then they were bound to see it she could.

It's just unexpected, knowing that a relationship that's almost perfect like theirs, could have something wrong with it too.

And if she was going to be honest, it almost made her happy, excited even.

It might sound really bad because even if she had a crush on her captain, Kumi couldn't deny that he and Nakazawa-senpai looked great together. She couldn't deny that both of them were so compatible, so together, so-so- so in love with each other. She could see it with the way they held hands whenever they could, the way he knew what she would always make her laugh, the way she knew what he wanted to pick. She could see it by the way he looked at her when she wasn't looking, and by the way she looked at him when they faced each other.

They love each other so damn much it was hurting just to see them act like that.

That's why she couldn't help the growing hope in her when she figured out that something was wrong with them.

Maybe this time- maybe she could have a chance with Tsubasa-senpai. Maybe Tsubasa-senpai will give her a chance.

She didn't know when her infatuation with him began, really. She just remembered seeing him in boys soccer booth, juggling a ball with his feet with the school uniform on. She already knew that he was an attractive guy, and almost all of the first year girls did too, standing a few feet away from their booth and giggling to themselves as they pointed to him. Sure the other girls weren't there just for him; the other boys weren't bad to look at either, but there was just something about him that didn't let her eyes leave him. Then he suddenly stopped juggling and turned to look at him, and smiled.

And then she knew that she was in love (or she thought she was)

(That was also the first time she saw Nakazawa Sanae when she realized that he wasn't smiling to her, but behind her).

So when she saw the sign that said that they were looking for managers, she didn't waste any time to sign up. After all, that was the best way for Tsubasa-senpai to know her, and for her to know him.

And this way, maybe Tsubasa-senpai would break up with Nakazawa-senpai and realize that she was just as great, maybe even better than her.

(A few weeks into it, she realized that it was wishful thinking, but now, maybe that could change too).

And now that something's wrong with them, she realized that this was her chance.

Sure she was two years younger than him, but that wasn't so bad. There's lots of couples like those, especially in manga. It could happen to them right? And she knew some of the girls in their school were in a relationship with third year guys. Some of them even began to be with them intimately. Really, her and Tsubasa-senpai could work.

And she was sure that when they did, she'll be a better girlfriend than Nakazawa-senpai. The best even.

She'll never let Tsubasa-senpai go.

He still wasn't talking to Sanae, and right now, it seemed like she wasn't talking to him anymore too. That was fine. It seemed like she was still obsessed with her decision to study in America, and until she stopped thinking about that he was more than happy to not talk with her.

… Who was he kidding, he hated it. It was pure agony when he realized that she gave up on trying to talk to him. And he couldn't help but feel betrayed, hurt that she would put her studies over them, over him. Was that how unimportant he was to her? That she would willingly chose her writing over him.

That's just low…

He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms as he stared at his girlfriend talk to a random guy that was making her laugh. He didn't hear himself growl quietly, busy thinking the worse.

Unfortunately, his friends did.

Taro and Genzo looked surprised at his sudden angry look before following his gaze, seeing Anego smiling to the Student Council President. All three of them knew that Sanae-chan didn't see him any more than a friend, and that he wasn't a threat, so why the hell was Tsubasa being jealous and possessive all of the sudden?

It's probably because of whatever was going between them. No, it was because of that.

"You know, if looks could kill, Sekimura-san's probably been murdered by you three times already," Taro remarked, Tsubasa blinked, broken from his thoughts and turned to him, releasing his arms. Taro only smirked and continued, "Poor guy didn't even know what killed him."

"You already know that Anego doesn't like anybody but you." Genzo added lazily. "It'll take a miracle before she stopped liking you. So stop glaring and leave them alone."

"I wasn't glaring," Tsubasa denied as he turned away. "Sanae can talk to whoever she wants."

"So she can choose who not to talk to either right?" Taro asked gingerly. Genzo looked at the corner of his eyes to meet Taro's before they turned back to Tsubasa just in time to see him freeze up.

"Just leave me alone," Tsubasa told them as he stood up from where he was leaning against the window. "Sanae can do whatever she wants," he added angrily, and almost with sad tone.

Taro and Genzo looked at each other once more, before Genzo sighed.

"Okay, what is going on with the two of you?" he demanded. "You guys have been ignoring each other for almost three weeks."

"It's weird," Taro added. "It's unnatural."

Tsubasa didn't say anything for a few moments, before sighing and turning away from them. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing's wrong with us."

"Bullshit," Genzo replied. "Like we'd believe that."

Tsubasa took a deep breath and gave him a glare. "I told you there's n-"

"Tsubasa! Have you heard?"

Ishizaki slammed the door open, screaming. Everyone turned to him as he let himself in the classroom and went directly to the boys. He even caught Sanae. Ayame, and Shiori's attention.

"Have you- have you," he panted as he slouched in front of his teammates.

"Slow down," Genzo ordered him.

"Why don't you take deep breaths first?" Tsubasa suggested.

Ishizaki, taking a deep breath, straightened up and look at them seriously.

"Kisugi showed me something this morning on the Federation's website," he started.

"The Federation?" Taro repeated.

Ishizaki nodded, "And it's not good."

"Why not?" Genzo asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ishizaki took another deep breath and what he said was something all of them didn't expect.

"The tournament might be cancelled."

End Chapter

AN: its four am i should sleep pls tell me what you think of the chapter and enjoy

bye