Hello everyone, here's chapter 2. YAY! I know it's kinda rubbish and is sort of a short filler chapter, but I wanted to introduce PJ more...ugh, I know it's terrible but I had a bit of writers block, but don't worry, hopefully my next chapters will be better :) Also, I'm planning on making this quite a long fanfiction i.e. more than 15 chapters so yeah, hopefully you won't get bored.

Dan POV:

Darkness…nothing but darkness…endless night…my body drowning in a sea of blackness…My eyes fumble aimlessly in confusion and fear at my blindness and yet a twinge of joy conflicts. Have I finally made it to you my dear? Have I finally escaped the torturous hell on earth without you? Yet, I cannot be in heaven as I cannot see you…is this purgatory? Am I awaiting judgement by a higher power? I don't care! As long as I get to spend it with you…

"Dan, can you hear me-"

I try to picture what heaven must be like. Not fluffy clouds and pearly gates or serenades by angels clutching harps, but something more meaningful; more ethereal; a place of lost futures and shared pasts invigorated by the love that can only be sparked at their meeting. At least that's what it would mean to me…

"Dan, please, please wake up-"

My blundering ceases and the monochrome shadows begin to form bright silhouettes before me. I hold my breath in anticipation and my heart races…This is it…I'm coming for you…

"Doctor! Doctor! He's opening his eyes, he's waking up!"

I open my eyes; my heart skipping as the silhouettes form shapes into a figure in front of me…it has to be you…it must be you…please speak to me…I'm in heaven aren't I…

"Phil…Phil, is that you?" I choke out, my voice fractured by my own giddiness at the thought of seeing those cerulean orbs once again. "…Phil?" Talk to me…please, god…let me hear your voice once again…

"No, this is not Phil, I am Dr Lord, can you unders-" My heart shatters and my eyes widen as my vision clears at the figure before me; my chest tightens and my pulse stops. Phil!? No, this can't be happening. I am not in heaven; God has sealed my fate with his single decision…he has sent me to hell…

PJ POV:

I cannot believe I let this happen. I'm sorry Dan, I'm so sorry. I was supposed to take care of you, just like I promised Phil in his final hours. I still find it difficult to believe that I will never see him again; never hear him laugh at one of my corny one liners or see him crack the dorkiest smile in the entire universe. I look over at his lifeless form and a small tear escapes my bleary eyes. I have been at the hospital for over three weeks now and my heart still breaks whenever I see him. Overdose. That's how he did it. If only life was ever that easy.

As much as you try to console someone after the death of someone they love; you cannot help but see the pain in their eyes whenever you mention their name or whenever a trinket of theirs is discovered. Dan went through the stages of grief so very quickly; however he never managed to reach acceptance. The depression is killing him; but, to be honest, I cannot blame him. Phil was everything to him and they were inseparable. Through thick and thin they battled on; through the hate and discrimination of their homophobic parents. I guess they finally got their wish. I feel anger build up inside me as I picture their faces, grinning wildly at them being ripped apart – they didn't even go to the funeral, which broke Dan even more. How could you ever hate someone over something they cannot change?

I grasp Dan's cold hand tightly as I will him to wake up. I wish he hadn't given in; in his moment of sheer weakness. He's living life for the both of them now and I wish he could see that. Dan, you're a fighter, come on, you've been through so much and Phil would be so proud of you; please don't give up…

Glancing over at Dans peaceful face, I lean forward and whisper quietly to him; the doctors insisting that this will help him wake up.

"Dan, can you hear me?"

I sigh at his unresponsiveness; praying silently that he hasn't given up on them both.

"Dan, please, please wake up,"

My heart sinks once again – I should be used to this by now. I squeeze my best friend's hand; as if to try and transfer my warmth to him, in the hope that this will encourage him to keep on living. As selfish as it sounds, I don't want him to die as, despite his pain and heartbreak, I need him. Phil was one of my closest friends too and I cannot lose you as well. I miss him just as much as you do and yet I'm not giving up. Do you think you're the only one who's hurting right now? Do you think you're the only one whose heart is ripped out every time you go to make three cups of tea and realise you now only need two teabags or realise that the stupid, childish "Rawr!" whenever your best friend greets you is now just a figment of your imagination? I loved him just as much as you do and I'll be damned if you're going to leave me too.

I wipe the stream tears from my cheeks as I try to control the conflict in my head. Anger at his cowardice and concern for him rages every minute I spend here. I close my eyes for a second when I feel a slight shift of the bed beside me, causing me to jump from my seat. I stare, gawking, when I notice him try to open his eyes. My heart leaps as I call out to the doctor busying himself behind me, as if it was now or never.

"Doctor! Doctor! He's opening his eyes, he's waking up!" I gasp; gesturing the middle aged, balding medical professional over to the bed; his eyebrows furrowed in an expression of disbelief. I step aside for him to do a job; my heart pounding in my chest.

"Phil…Phil, is that you?" he mumbles, a punch-like pain knotting my insides, bringing back all of my grief as if it was only yesterday that Phil was taken from us. "Phil,"

""No, this is not Phil, I am Dr Lord, can you understand me," the doctor asks, shining a medical torch in his eyes, in a rather aggressive fashion if you ask me.

"What is this?! Get away from me…Phil! Phil!" he shouts, disorientated, and I cannot help the tidal wave of tears streaming down my face.

"Mr Howell, calm down, I need t-"

"No, no! Get off me! This isn't real, I shouldn't be here….PHIL!" he cries, his arms flailing like a frightened child, before letting out a heart wrenching sob that breaks my heart, causing me to rush to his side.

"Dan, calm down, please, you know what happened to Phil…please Dan, calm down, we only want to help you," I plead, my hand protectively on his shoulder as I try to sooth him. "Sir, could you let me calm him down before you do anything" I plead to the doctor, who looks at me annoyed; nodding as he backs off slightly. "Dan, listen to me, you need to calm down, ok.

"I can't be here; I shouldn't be here, why am I not with him," he pleads, looking at me with eyes of a terrified child; his breath hitching as his sobs continue.

"Dan…I…," I try to speak; but the lump in my throat chokes me; only allowing my voice out in short; abrupt sobs. I look into his deep brown eyes; as if to tell him in ways that words never could. He turns on his side; tucking his legs into his chest and continues to sob quietly.

"No…no…Phil…I…," he mumbles into his pillow. I turn away for a brief moment; unable to take the sight before me. He looks just like…when he…Stay together PJ!

I walk over to the doctor at the back of the room; his eyes glassy at the sight before him. I know doctors must have a degree of desensitization when it comes to grieving patients, yet even the hardest of hearts would break at this sight.

"I think he just needs some time, do you mind if he has an hour or so to gather himself; he doesn't appear to be in pain or anything," I plead. Well, physical pain at least.

"I suppose so, I really shouldn't leave him but, as long as you call for me if anything happens. I'll be back in an hour to review his condition," he explains, an edge of sympathy in his voice.

"Thank you ever so much...um, Dr Lord," I thank sincerely.

"Please, call me Anthony," he smiles sadly. "You know, I know exactly how he is feeling…I, um, lost someone very dear to me many years ago; my wife Helen. She was everything to me and I presume this Phil was to Mr Howell"

"Oh I'm so sorry, yeah, Phil was everything to Dan…well, he was everything to anyone who met him," I smile sadly; the thought of him threatening my tears to spill again. "Thank you for being so understanding,"

"Don't worry about it," he assures. "I know doctors are supposed to keep a strict poker face and remain professional at all times but, sometimes, you have to remember that these are real people; not patients, with real emotions; real grief," I smile gratefully at him before he quietly exits the room. Sighing internally, I make my way back over Dan and place a comforting hand on his shaking form. I know your hurting Dan, but tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart and Phil, wherever he is, would love you forever for it.

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