Chapter 12: 33 Days
Inuyasha was alone. There were no guards, no maids, and no Sesshomaru. The thought actually made him feel at peace, and he vaguely wondered if maybe that was a bad thing. His stomach had swollen practically over night, and now he wasn't sure how to feel about it.
Inuyasha sunk lower into the hot spring, sighing softly in bliss. Sesshomaru had let him venture into the forest seemingly by himself for a day, and Inuyasha was so happy he was sure he was glowing. He knew guards surrounded the area to keep out intruders, but he couldn't see them so felt fine.
He had missed going outside to the point he started to get physically sick, and now he felt as healthy as a horse. Inuyasha poured some hot water on his head, enjoying it too much for words. Inuyasha opened his eyes when he heard a bush rustle, Sesshomaru entering into the clearing. Inuyasha closed his eyes again, sinking further into the water till his lips touched the surface.
"Feel better?" Sesshomaru asked, Inuyasha nodding with a soft hum of ecstasy. He heard a rustle of clothing before the water shifted, Sesshomaru coming over to him. Inuyasha opened his eyes when he felt the demon rest next to him, glancing to him with lidded eyes of pleasure and relief.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes, relaxing in a way they hadn't been able to for a while. There was no sex, no talking. They just relaxed, and Inuyasha felt better than he had ever felt before in the demon's presence. When Sesshomaru spoke again Inuyasha was on the verge of slumber.
"How often do you want to do this?" Sesshomaru asked, Inuyasha shrugging as he rose up some so he wouldn't drown. He leaned against his mate, shivering in warmth as Sesshomaru's natural heat mixed with the heat of the hot spring.
"Whenever I feel like it," Inuyasha grunted, moving so his back was against Sesshomaru's chest.
"Once every two weeks," Sesshomaru bargained instead, Inuyasha smirking as arms wrapped around him. Sesshomaru had started to become more affectionate after his mother's visit, though Inuyasha couldn't pinpoint why. His craving for sex seemed to decrease the more he started to show, and Inuyasha wondered if the fact that he was going to be a father just sunk in.
Sesshomaru was slow sometimes, and the only time he ever did anything was when he saw a result from his work. If there was no evidence he was like a turtle stuck in a forest. No idea of where to go and no idea of how off he really was. But when he had his stupid evidence, Inuyasha loved reaping the result.
"Once every week?" Inuyasha tried to squeeze in, chuckling when Sesshomaru lightly bit his ear in false warning. Inuyasha relaxed back against him, closing his eyes as he basked in this feeling. He wasn't sure what it was, but a part of him wished it never went away. If Inuyasha put the feeling into words, it would be comfort. It would be appreciation, submission with trust, and…
And…
Inuyasha opened his eyes, moving away from Sesshomaru. The demon looked to his mate in confusion, Inuyasha moving to another rock. He leaned his chest against it, looking into the forest as he tried to shake away the thought. Sesshomaru was his mate yes, but he didn't love him.
Even if he thought he did, he knew it would just be his hormones talking. Inuyasha blinked, seeing his thoughts run around the forest trees. He wasn't sure of what to make of them, even though they were as plain as day. His love for Kagome had been different from his love for Kikyo. He loved Kikyo with every part of his being, while with Kagome he felt it was more of matter of wanting to protect what had been.
Now here…
Inuyasha closed his eyes, feeling a hand run over his back. He wasn't sure how that thought or feeling got into his mind, but he didn't want it there. The thought danced around his mind as Sesshomaru moved his hair over a shoulder, placing kisses over his shoulders and back. Inuyasha sighed deeply, his thoughts becoming solid.
He had that feeling for Sesshomaru because of how he treated him. Sometimes Inuyasha wondered why he ever stayed, and there were times were he never wanted to leave. He was addicted, but at the same time his addiction was incurable. Inuyasha knew all of Sesshomaru's flaws, knew every little thing that made him tick. And in turn Sesshomaru knew all those things about him. And even so they tried to make it work.
This wasn't a love forced on him by a want to be reunited with somebody he lost, but rather a love for someone he never wanted to lose. Inuyasha opened his eyes, wondering if he should say what he felt. He remembered Sesshomaru told him he would never love him, but he wondered now if all that had changed. Inuyasha parted his lips, but quickly closed them.
What if he got rejected and this all ended?
Inuyasha grit his teeth, feeling Sesshomaru's hands slide down towards his hips. Inuyasha parted his lips, hoping to the gods he wasn't rejected.
"I love you." Sesshomaru stopped moving, Inuyasha closing his eyes as he knew at that moment he would be rejected. He gasped when he was turned around sharply, Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed as they regarded him silently. Inuyasha waited for him to push him away with disgust, waited to be turned down and left alone for good. Sesshomaru touched a hand to Inuyasha's hair, moving it out of his face.
Inuyasha gasped when his hair was pulled and his neck was exposed, a hand wrapping around his throat. Inuyasha didn't know what to do or say, feeling Sesshomaru's long fingers wrap around his throat.
"Why?" Sesshomaru growled, Inuyasha swallowing thickly. He felt tears prickle the side of his eyes, parting his lips to speak.
"Why do I need a reason?" Inuyasha whispered, Sesshomaru's frown becoming one of confusion. Inuyasha tried not to whimper when Sesshomaru tightened his hand, trying to put his thoughts into words.
"I don't love you out of force Sesshomaru. I love you for you, why is that so wrong?" Inuyasha gasped for breath when he was released, Sesshomaru staring him down. Inuyasha looked to him, knowing it would happen like this.
"What if I hurt you? What if I desire to see you bleed?" Sesshomaru asked darkly, Inuyasha wanting to be small in the sight of Sesshomaru's anger. He swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling like he had too much saliva in his mouth.
"I would trust you not to," Inuyasha whispered, Sesshomaru raising a hand to slap him. Inuyasha tried not to flinch back, Sesshomaru's anger growing.
"I don't love you like I loved Kagome. I love you for being you, for wanting me besides only previously being your enemy." Sesshomaru's anger dwindled some, his eyes softening.
"You were never my enemy," Sesshomaru told him, lowering his hand. Inuyasha felt his knees shake when Sesshomaru moved closer, pinning him against the rock.
"If I didn't love you back, what would you say then?" Sesshomaru asked, Inuyasha digging his claws into the boulder behind him.
"You don't have to love me for me to love you." Sesshomaru's anger seemed to dissipate in a matter of seconds, Inuyasha wondering what would happen now.
"Did my mother tell you to say this?" Sesshomaru asked stoically, Inuyasha shaking his head silently. He cleared his throat, looking away from Sesshomaru.
"She told me there was good in you, though then I wasn't so sure. I am now though." Sesshomaru wanted to hurt him. He wanted to tear down any hope he had for them, to erase it all so he could never be hurt again. He didn't want to be like his mother, a lonely dog who fell in love with the wrong demon.
He didn't want to be angry like her when Inuyasha finally saw how much of a monster he really was. But the hanyou's eyes held so much trust, trust he had never seen before. Sesshomaru had never trusted anybody in his life before, fearing and dreading the day his perfectly stacked walls would fall.
What he hadn't noticed was that Inuyasha had knocked down almost every single wall, and Sesshomaru wasn't sure on how to feel about that. Sesshomaru leaned down, coming face to face with Inuyasha.
"What do you want? Want me on my knees?" Sesshomaru growled, Inuyasha shaking his head softly.
"Never." Sesshomaru frowned, Inuyasha leaning in that little last bit. Their lips touched, Inuyasha unsure on if he should melt against it or pull away. A hand in the back of his hair spoke for him, pulling him closer. Inuyasha moaned, glad that at least it ended on a good note. He was still unsure of Sesshomaru's thoughts and feelings, but he was just glad he wasn't pushed away right then.
Sesshomaru pulled away from the kiss, licking Inuyasha's bottom lip before delving his tongue into his mouth. Inuyasha was caught off guard, wanting to be devoured but unsure how. Sesshomaru made up his mind for him, Inuyasha gasping as his legs were lifted and wrapped around Sesshomaru's waist. A guard moved forward with his head down, swallowing thickly before speaking.
"Lord Sesshomaru, Lady Mizuki has arrived." Inuyasha was lost in a confused state of lust, Sesshomaru growling softly as he laid his head down on Inuyasha's shoulder in frustration.
"Let's go," Sesshomaru growled softly, putting Inuyasha back down. They dried before redressing themselves, heading back to the castle. Their conversation was kept secret as they entered into the room in which Mizuki waited, Sesshomaru a tad less apprehensive.
"Does Inuyasha have a midwife?" Mizuki asked, Inuyasha tensing as he remembered the last midwife Sesshomaru brought he attacked. She quit on the spot, leaving Inuyasha without a midwife. Sesshomaru answered no, and with that Mizuki frowned.
"Why not? He is due within a month," she told them, Inuyasha shrugging as he tried to prolong his answer. When Mizuki grew impatient he knew he didn't have much of a choice.
"She quit…" Mizuki frowned, Inuyasha clearing his throat as he looked down to his hands.
"She quit cause I attacked her on her first day." Mizuki frowned in slight annoyance, Inuyasha hoping he wouldn't get in trouble after this. Mizuki sighed, snapping her fingers.
"Well it's a good thing I brought my midwife. Shina come in." An elderly woman walked in, bowing in front of them. She looked old enough for Inuyasha to break, and he honestly doubted she could deliver his pups. Inuyasha looked to Sesshomaru with a frown of confusion, but the demon didn't seem like he wanted to protest.
"She may appear old, but she is trustworthy for this task."
Inuyasha begged to differ.
"Lord Inuyasha, I would like to talk to you in private," Shina whispered, Inuyasha looking to Sesshomaru who nodded. He got up and followed the old lady to a separate room. He sat down in a zaisu and she sat down across from him. She got straight to business.
"When did you conceive?" She asked, Inuyasha shrugging as he tried to count back.
"A month ago?" He answered uncertainly, Shina humming as she stared at him intently.
"Do you maintain a healthy sex life?" She asked, Inuyasha instantly uncomfortable. He gave her a look of shock and disgust, and for the first time he heard her laugh. It was dry and weak, but he could tell from it alone she had been messing with him. Inuyasha frowned, not one to enjoy being joked around with. When she stopped laughing she cleared her throat, having had more fun with the hanyou than she anticipated.
"Sorry dear child, I needed to lighten your mood. Tell me, does your mate support you in this process?" She asked, Inuyasha nodding but not smiling just yet. Shina nodded, taking out a scroll. She told him about what would happen when he went into labor, and every part she played in it. In words, the act of giving birth didn't sound that painful.
"Do you understand everything?" She asked, Inuyasha nodding. He decided to speak his mind, wondering how painful the process could really be.
"It sounds easy, but I'm wondering if the labor will be hard, or at least difficult?" Inuyasha questioned, Shina shaking her head with a small smile.
"You'll feel like someone is tearing their way out of you. Which they are." Inuyasha's jaw hit the floor in horror, Shina this time not laughing. She had truly meant it, which made Inuyasha want to back out of the process in hopes to dodge the pain. He swallowed thickly, thinking about how much pain he had endured in his lifetime. Shina saw his thoughts like an open book.
"Every mother hopes it is simple, but it never is. The pain you will experience will be a thousand times worse than the ones you have experienced in life. Then again, you are giving life to another being which in the end is worth all that pain." Inuyasha was hell bent on not believing that, which only made Shina chuckle softly. She leaned over, touching a hand to Inuyasha's thigh.
He frowned, Shina giving him a small smile.
"When it is all said and done, that child will be worth the world, and the pain." Inuyasha frowned as she got up and led him out of the room and back to where Sesshomaru and Mizuki sat silently. Inuyasha looked to Sesshomaru, wondering vaguely if all the pain he will experience would bring them together. Or would it tear them apart?