SANTANA'S LOGIC SENSE

(Rachel)

I woke up late. I skipped my half hour daily exercise and went straight to the shower. I crossed with Santana at different times, but we didn't say a word to each other. Neither at home nor at the synagogue.

We got home at half past ten in the morning. Or nearly so. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the black Honda Civic in the garage, and try to prepare myself for Dr. Juan Lopez's Homeric scolding and it was always worse when daddy was out to be our defense attorney. I got off the car shaking. Santana wasn't much better. We entered the house cautiously, with the innocent idea that if we keep quiet, not breathing, maybe my papa wouldn't notice our presence.

"Buenos dias, hijas." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath waiting for the scream. "Sígueme." My father said with such calm which made me cry.

We crossed the garden to the pool house. My father asked us to enter the bathroom, which was the lowest of the entire house. Santana and I didn't understand why.

"Pai, por qué estamos aquí en el cuarto de baño?" I asked.

"Tengo un problema importante a resolver en el hospital. Vuelvo en un par de horas, pero hasta entonces, ustedes dos se hablar y resolver sus problemas aquí, encerrada en el baño."

"Papa, please, no! Santana will kill me!"

"Hable! Cuando regrese, voy a abrir la puerta."

My heart raced when I heard the click of the key locking the door. And we stayed in a small area of two by three meters square occupied by a green toilet, a sink of the same color and a tiny shower stall. Worse, I was locked with the last person on earth that I would want stay in that situation.

"There's no way to skip the window." Santana analyzed. She was the master of escapism. "We could be hurt if we leave there and it will be impossible to go back in the same way without papa find out. I don't want piss him even more."

"What about the lock. You know how to open locks with wire."

"Shorty, are you seeing any wire here? And think a bit: I take a half hour, but I open the damn door, we leave and takes care of our life and, in the lower sign of papa, we run back and locks ourselves again, right? Except you forgot that today Prudence are here to do that extra. In certain papa warned her. So relax, sit there on the floor and wait! Maybe, take a nap. Then we will pretend to like each other for a week. Deal?"

"Deal!"

Santana opened the tempered glass door of the shower and closed it behind. I sat on the floor against the bathroom door. We stayed like that for a long time: I was looking at toilet and Santana at the shower.

"Our anniversary is in 17 days." I couldn't stay long without talking, and casual conversations were better than the awkward silence.

"I know!"

"Next Sunday we will light the first candle of the menorah."

"I know!"

"We'll be in Cleveland next weekend to celebrate Hanukkah."

"Rachel! Can you shut up?"

I kept silence. Not for long. Papa had a point in putting us on this ridiculous situation: we have no way of avoiding another, trapped in the lower house bathroom. Santana spent weeks treading on me, talking barbarities, and even hinting with my boyfriend in my face. That wasn't normal and I deserved an explanation. I plucked up courage and blurted the question that was stuck in my throat.

"Why did you have sex with Finn?"

Santana wasn't surprised. She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders as it was no big deal.

"Everyone was in that crazy Madonna's week and coach had said something about maintaining dominion over men... so silly."

"My God! What Sue Sylvester knows about men? Or relationships?"

"Good question." She laughed a little and then looked back at the shower. "It was Brittany's idea. That crazy one has suggested me to take his virginity because if I dominate the most popular kid in school, then I would be legendary. I accept the challenge."

"Did you even think about me or my feelings when you just decide to hook up with Finn in a cheap hotel room just because Brittany said? And why everything Brittany says to you is like an order?"

"You're not seeing the big picture here." Santana raised her voice a little bit and finally looked at me. "I didn't think about your feelings, and Finn had a point: you weren't together at that time. I did on impulse, ok? What you still don't understand is that I wasn't alone in that bed and I didn't do anything he didn't want to. Do you want more information? Well, it's true it didn't take two minutes to make him in."

"But you had to flirt with him before. A couple of hours before he break up with me, to be exact."

"The first time I hit on him, it was Sue Sylvester's order to destabilize the Glee Club. I just wanted to make her happy to consecrate my place as captain. And again, I didn't break you up. He thought you was hindering his popularity, so he gave you a foot in your ass. But I can assure you one thing: my past actions were far more altruistic."

"Altruistic? You spent this past week hitting on my boyfriend in my face. You was low! Usted actuó como una puta!"

Santana opened the glass door in a second, and the next one, she was pinning me against the bathroom door with her hands on my neck.

"Take it back" Santana was almost growling, but I wasn't afraid. No more. Not about this.

"No!"

"Take it back Rachel, or I won't answer for myself."

"No!" I said firmer, louder. "You can hit me all you want, but I won't take it back. You've hurt me more than you could do physically."

Santana took two steps back. She lowered the lid of the toilet accent and sat there. I stood against the door and sat on the floor again.

"Your ex-boyfriend is a hypocrite." Santana said again after an almost deathly silence. "I'm glad that idiot left you, even more because you cheated him twice with Puck and that British chick."

"Sure! Now you can jump into his bed without guilt."

"Rachel, you dated Finn for how long? Five months?"

"Six months."

"Whatever. I can talk about what I saw, and what I saw was that the perfect Hudson never had the dignity to defend you in any offense that I or the rest of the choir directed to you. He never came to me and asked to stop flirting with him. He hadn't the courage to tell you that he wasn't a virgin and let you making ideal scenarios like an idiot. He never supported any of your ideas, even the interesting ones, unless those that put him in a prominent position. When you felt good once in a lifetime and dressed sexy, he was unsure and pulled you down. That's just the facts relating directly to you. There are several other things I know about Finn."

"Please!" My tone was ironic. "Continue."

"Kurt."

"Kurt? Finn dedicated a song to him at Carole and Burt's wedding."

"How heroic, isn't? I know the stories. Mercedes is not exactly good at keeping secrets. But we manage to keep them among the glee clubbers and far from you." She pointed out to me. "Because you can't keep a secret. You freak out and, in two seconds, you make something stupid."

"I can keep secrets!"

"Quinn says so! You made a trap in front of everyone about Beth's father. And all because you wanted her boyfriend."

"Finn had every right to know."

"But it was up to Quinn, and only to her. God! Rachel, I've got a relationship for almost two years with Puck, still I kept my mouth shut."

"Relationship? You get naked in regularly basis with Noah and Brittany for almost two years. This is not a relationship. This is just whoring around. Oh yes, now you also like to sleep with somebody else's boyfriend for a change."

"Please, don't make me hit you." Santana took a deep breath before continuing. "Finn is so heroic! He dressed like Lady Gaga to defend Kurt from Karofsky. Remember when he threatened to hit that caveman them said we were a team and bla bla bla? This only happened after Finn took a Homeric lecture from Mr. Hummel because he called Kurt a fag. When Sam joined glee, Kurt wanted make a duet with him, but Finn told him not to because Kurt was gay and could drove off Sam from the club. That's why you and Finn made that devil match maker plan to Sam and Quinn. Shame on you, Rachel!"

"Sam and Quinn look happy together!" – I defend myself.

"At the Hummels wedding party, Finn serenades for Kurt and that was beautiful. But you conveniently forgot that the black eye was Sam's, Puck had bruised ribs, Mike had a bump on his head and, my god, even Artie in a wheelchair defended Kurt. Oh yes... I remember very well Finn's absence when Mr. Hummel had that heart attack. But then, Finn learned the lesson, said something sweet and cheap, and became the hero. How easy is that? And these were the stories about Kurt. I could tell some more about how Finn ignores Tina and Mercedes. Or how much he cared about Mike. Still, he is the leader, the hero. I can tell you. We have a plenty time before papi unlock the door."

"You talk as if the others were perfect and Finn, the villain." I wiped the tears from my face.

"They aren't. There aren't absolute heroes or villains. The difference is that nobody else is trying to play the school hero in our club. Maybe Sam. But I don't blame your darling. Everyone has priorities, isn't true? Some people think the prime of life is high school and want to be remembered for that time. This probably is Finn's case. But so what? He isn't the only one, and even I recognize that he has good intentions. Now what gets me nuts is watching you blind and swallowing all the assaults and idiocies of that asshole."

"Yeah, you incidentally, you surely swallowed a lot of Noah."

"Yes, I have swallowed his sperm sometimes, but his shit, sister, never! You're right: I don't date Puck. We are just good bedfellows sharing some jealousy. Still, it's more sincere than your relationship with Finn."

"So you were playing the school whore all this time just to show me the truth? Your truth, by the way." I raised my head and stared at Santana, making it clear that she should do better to convince me that she was the good girl.

"Yes and no... on one hand, I feel pleasure in annoying you and that will never change. On the other hand, you're my sister, you are a Berry-Lopez, you are tough, you know what you want since you were two, and truth be told, you are the star of this family. You never lowered your head because of the slushies or Quinn's heavy teasers just because she is a frustrated and unhappy girl. It wraps my stomach to see you crawling by someone who doesn't deserve you." Santana's voice choked more, gets more emotional and I could see her eyes getting moist. "I do love you, Ray. You are above all that shit."

"Sorry Santana, but it's very hard to believe everything you said." I crossed my arms and looked away for the textured paint. If I saw Santana's face, my heart would melt and I would forgive her in two seconds. I couldn't leave things so easily. Not when she hurt me so much.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. None of us could face another. All I could hear was the external noise.

"I'll leave you and Finn alone, okay. I swear I'm not going to get into your life." She broke the silence.

"Thank you for finally understand!" I raised his voice slightly.

"But listen this very well, Ray: think twice before running into Finn's arms and beg for a pardon that you should give him."

Santana grabbed a handful of toilet paper and started pinking it, lost in her own thoughts. I was making great efforts to absorb everything she had said. It was difficult to accept the logic coming from someone who hurt you so much. Especially if that someone was my own sister. Internally, I was fighting a lot of things, people, facts. It was hard!

"And Brittany?" Again I broke the long silence. "You say what I should do, but I don't see you with that same strength to fight for her."

"Again: different cases. Britt started dating Artie was my entire fault. I didn't have the courage to give her what she needed, to take our relationship in public. And Artie was available, desperate for a girlfriend and a little romance. I hate the idea, but Artie is good for Britt. Then I am holding on, I'll be the best friend she deserves and needs. For now, I accept. For now..."

"I always thought you were end game." I smiled.

"Who knows? As daddy says: a river just stops running when it dries completely. But..."

"... Until then, much water passes under the bridge." I finished the sentence.

"That's it, hermana."

"I wish luck to you and Britt. You look great together."

"I know, but it is difficult to risk my neck in that school. I am the daughter of two men and this already handful. Imagine if I publicly take my affair with Brittany? Those guys would end me."

"It's not what our dads would say to you. They would encourage you to do the right thing with Britt."

"But our dads still hear horrible things, you know that very well. How many times have we heard Mrs. Frampton suggested that the State should take our guard because our dads were going to 'infect' us? They are tough and an inspiration, but I'm not so brave and I'm not ready."

Santana had a point. She had several points. Rare were the times when we had a frank conversation, but they always made me think. Finn wasn't a perfect boyfriend but I loved him. I acknowledged, however, that we needed a break. I needed to compose some ideas and goals. Santana helped me to see it in an unconventional way. Anyway, that's what Santana does.

Shortly after, we heard the sound of the key and the click of the door being unlocked.

"Your father had an emergency surgery." Dad smiled cheerfully. "I hope you are ok and talked about your differences."

"Yes." Santana slipped her arm around daddy's waist. "We talked."

"Great! Lunch's on."

The best news of the day for sure. My stomach was complaining of prolonged fasting. I took Santana's hand and made her wait a little in the pool house.

"What, Ray?"

"I take that back. I'm not saying you are forgiven... but yes, I take that back."

Santana gave a half smile.

"Thank you!"