THE FIRST TIME
(Rachel)
"Songbook" by Nick Hornby is not a theatrical book. It was a set of chronic and critical texts about songs that the English writer liked and that served as the soundtrack of life to some point. In short, it was about his direct relationship with music on specific memories. Mark Millar and James Golvi were inspired by this chronicle book, almost journalistic, and mounted an original narrative about the soundtrack of life by preserving certain considerations and observations of Hornby. There are five acts witch five characters tell their stories: Rob, Sally, Charlie, Jamis and Kate. The sixth one, Nick (played by Mike), is the point of connection between them.
Kate was my character. She was a young foreign (I spoke four lines in Spanish), daughter of an American, who was dying to go to the United States to live with her father. When she finally realize her dream, Kate also falls in love with music, dance and style of living of New York City. The version of "First I Look At The Purse", by J. Geils Band, was the most perfect embodiment of those desires. It was the perfect picture of excitement. Then she starts having relationship problems with her father and eventually leaves home. Over time, New York loses its magical colors and becomes just a big city where she needs to survive. That's when "First I Look At The Purse" changes the meaning.
"Some fellas look at the eyes/ Some fellas look at the nose/ Some fellas look at the size/ Some fellas look at the clothes" I almost screamed during the song. I had to put rage and excitement in my voice. "I don't care if her eyes are red/ I don't care if her nose is long/ I don't care if she's underfed/ I don't care if her clothes are worn/ First I look at the purse!/ Some fellas like the smiles they wear/ some fellas like the legs that's all/ some fellas like the style of their hair/ want their waist to be small/ I don't care if their legs are thin/ I don't care if their teeth are big/ I don't care if their hair's a wig/ Why waste time lookin' at the waistline?/ First a look at the purse."
Yes, Kate becomes a whore in New York. James Golvi understood that I was perfect for the part because I didn't exhaling sexuality. Many of the professionals of the bed he knew – James could list at least 30 different types of whores, it was awesome – only became sexual during the job time. In the rest of the day, most of them were reserved women. And Kate was telling her story, not working. It was a challenge to give her justice.
Kate became a supporting character in other acts, as I did two solos: "You Had Time" by Ani DiFranco, in the Jamis's act (a college student in crisis with her sexuality) and "Run Off The Road" by Ola Podrida, that I sang in the first audition and I had no idea that it was inserted in the play. This performance wasn't part of any particular story. "Run Off The Road" was used more as a conclusion at the end of the musical with me singing for Nick, Mike's character.
The dress rehearsal on Friday was a milestone for me. It was terrifying and beautiful at the same time. I was nervous as ever: musical plays are different then choirs, wherein you face an audience, make a choreography and go. Theater, especially in that economic format where the weight of dramatic interpretation is much more worth than the power of the voice, was more difficult and complex. I had to control myself to express the right emotions into the scene. It was Broadway, regardless of the difficulties, the sacrifices, the body aches, the little money. It was my big debut on Flea's stage: great actors stepped there early in their career.
Mike stepped in and people clapped. Oh, the waiting. The first act started. I was part of the scene. I forgot three lines along the acts, and I had to improvise in one of them when Mary Stein lost her cue. Others have also made mistakes. I was terrible throughout the second act. Sean Lewis wanted to scream at me in the backstage and Quinn grabbed him. I began to recover in the third act, when I made my first solo. Singing helped me to control my nerves. The act I was the protagonist was the next one and I nailed it. The final was the apotheosis for the six survivors.
The audience applauded. We bow, appreciating the presence of the public and we left excited for the aisle, combining to go out and celebrate our success.
"You can hang around as you like, as long as you all get here exactly at eight o'clock in the morning tomorrow" James shouted. "That's why it's called dress rehearsal for guests and friends. They don't complain. And when they do, they will attenuate comments on the disaster that was. That's why I didn't invite any critic this week. We would be ruined! So, get out of here, all of you. Tomorrow, we will work hard on the faults until the premiere. Understood?" No word was mentioned. "Thank you." His voice softened. "I know you all are tired. It's been tough... but there will be rewards."
I went to the hall holding hands with Quinn. She consoled me. Mike and Angela came close behind. I liked her: she was calm and gentle. Santana came to us smiling, then pondered.
"James?" Santana was aware of the temper of our director. It was easy for her to connect the dots, then she just nodded. "What will it be: pizza or chinese food?"
…
My father, Shelby and Beth came to town in the morning while I was at Flea replaying the entire musical with my colleagues. They visited our apartment in the afternoon and Santana promised she would babysitting our little sister while we were out. As always, Santana jumped on Beth to play with and tickle her before even say "hi" to our parents. Quinn stood beside me. It shouldn't be easy for her to remain cooler and controlled before her daughter. Unfortunately, it's how Shelby wanted: Quinn's distance and discretion. I hugged my father and then Shelby. Santana did the same with Beth in her lap. Quinn and Mike greeted them, respecting the distance.
"So that's the place?" Papi gave it a quick inspected. "It's better than I thought."
"Don't be rude, Juan." Shelby was still with her arm around my shoulder. "This is almost a palace if you consider the little money they have." Santana put Beth to the floor and Quinn sat beside the little one to play with her daughter. Mike followed them.
"All our furniture is second hand but they are in good condition." Santana pointed to our couch. "The couch was picked up on the street." I thought the table and the chairs also were found in the street, but she wouldn't confess it even under torture.
"I remember my college days." Papi smiled discreet. "Time to time I had to help some friends loading sofas, beds, chairs... But I never needed to do that to myself."
"Of course, you were a frat boy!" Santana sneered.
"Really?" Shelby was interested. "How an asshole frat boy had a beautiful gay marriage?"
"First, this is prejudice! Not every member of fraternity is idiotic. I confess that my first meeting with Hiram wasn't the happiest one, and you can't blame me: I only had dated women at that time. But I'm grateful to have given him a chance. Hiram made me a better person."
"Papi broke daddy's nose when they met." Santana explained better with a loaded cynical tone.
I looked at Quinn, who nodded back. She got up from the floor and hold my hand. I looked nervously at my parents and said the small bomb.
"I think you know, but... Shelby and papi, I would like to introduce you my girlfriend, Quinn Fabray." Shelby didn't look happy.
It was just a formality and papi still insisted on some of them. It was also something important to Quinn that was created in a conservative family and she felt comfortable with traditions. She was nervous, though, her hand was cold and I thought it cute. My father shook Quinn's hand and made threatening face. I knew he would make some threats later starting with the famous question: "What are your intentions towards my daughter?" We were late for Flea and needed to run. I left the tickets with my parents got off the subway with Mike and Quinn. I needed to be there well ahead of time to focus, makeup, wardrobe and to wish a lot of shit. If I didn't arrive on time, Angela would take my place in the premiere. Oh, hell no!
"Critics are there today." Mary shot at the backstage. "But no pressure."
"Today is the premiere, what did you expect?" Angela commented. "If you nail the first session, we will be good."
Critics came to the premiere, but the cast was much more focused and things went infinitely better than in the dress rehearsal. I didn't forget lines and the improvisations were casual. In the second session, what bothered me was the physical and mental fatigue. I was exhausted and didn't want to think that I still had two sessions ahead on Sunday before have my three days of deserved rest.
"How many hours of sleep per night are you having?" Papi asked outside the theater.
"I'm fine, and very hungry."
My father got us to an elegant Japanese restaurant that served a delicious tanuki udon and other fantastic soups. I ate vegetarian sushi and seaweed soup with noodles and spectacular soybeans. I had two dishes and I wasn't afraid to ask for it: my father was paying and I didn't know when I might come back to eat there. We talked generalities and avoid bitter subjects. It was as if we were afraid to fight like the last time, and Quinn didn't deserve to see over a family feud.
"What is missing for you?" This was the first really serious question of the night. "Be sincere, Rachel."
"Things aren't what it used to be when we lived with you and Daddy in that big house. I miss our library, my room, and having a TV because sometimes it sucks watching programs from the computer screen." My father smiled and held my hand on the table, as if encouraged me tell everything. That's what he did to make me open up about an unpleasant subject. "We don't have luxury here, Santana almost freaked out when I bought one of those little plastic dressers with my paycheck, but we urgently needed a place to shelter better our… underwear… anyway." I faced my parents. "We don't make much money, we have to work hard to earn little and we can't afford a meal in a restaurant like this, on the other hand, nothing is lacking, we have our alternatives, we are in good health, and we are happy because we have this opportunity to come out of your shadow and build our own history." I looked to Shelby, who seemed proud.
"For me, Rachel, neither you nor Santana would ever come under my wing. Yes I have pride in knowing that my daughters are fighting honestly and growing up…" He pointed to Quinn. "Finding love." And again he hold my hand. "But I would be happier if you did all of this in the correct time after college." Papi took his wallet and began to write a check. Shelby looked at me encouragingly and I got the impression that both agreed with that before.
"Papi!" I protested. "What part of 'nothing is lacking' you don't understood?"
"I know I said I would never help you financially if you were looking for fame before college. And yes, I still can't forgive Santana." He finished filling, highlighted the role and handed me a fat check of five thousand dollars.
"Papa, I can't accept!" I returned it. My pride spoke loudly.
"Think of this money as guarantee fund. One day you will need to buy a shoe and Quinn deserves to have a plastic dresser as well." I sighed defeated. We had money for the basics, but not for clothing, I must admit, and Quinn needed a plastic dresser. "I want you to take it out for your necessities and emergencies. Buy a TV if you want, and tell Santana that this was my gift... or say nothing!"
"Do you know the size of the mess it will cause with my sister?"
"The welfare of you two came first. You're above Santana's pride or mine. Anyway, this money was saved for Santana's rent, so theoretically, this has always been yours, Rachel."
"What's the catch?"
"You may you never forget that you have a father and a mother, especially on major holidays." Shelby said.
"Papa… there are two public schools near home I would like you to consider my transfer. And also Quinn's, if you can help her on it."
"I'll see it as soon as possible. And of course I can help Quinn with bureaucratic issues. It would be a pleasure."
"Thank you Dr. Lopez. I may confess that I'm lost with the paperwork." Quinn smiled for the first time at out dinner.
Unlike what happened last time, the dinner with my parents ended well. My father and Shelby were more comfortable to exchange little touches in front of me and Quinn. They were a cute couple, I must add. In daddy's absence, Shelby would be my first choice to be with my father in a relationship. The four of us went back to the apartment, which was dark and quiet. I noticed that there was a dirty plate of chocolate and banana on the table and Shelby made a face. It wasn't hard to connect the dots and conclude that Santana gave chocolate to Beth in that time of the night. The two in question were found sleeping on my sister's bed. Santana was bent, almost falling, to give more space to Beth and, at the same time, she as serving as a protective wall. It was a cute scene. Shelby crouched and gave an affectionate kiss on Santana's face to wake her up before having a chance to get Beth.
"Mother?" She said softly and I saw the surprised and happy face Shelby did. I thought that was the first time Santana called her 'mother'. "What time is it?"
"It's late and I must take your sister home."
"Okay!" She got up groggily asleep with messy hair and dirty shirt of chocolate. Typical. But lovely.
Our parents said goodbye with Beth in my papa's arms. Santana crawled back into the room. But Quinn and I took advantage of the moment to date a little bit on the ugly old sofa.
…
The first weekend of "Songbook" had full house. James Golvi, Roger Benz and the staff's names attracted attention for the newcomers actors and the unknown writer. I was happy that I had a good performance, particularly in the first session on Sunday in the presence of some critics, although these were from smaller media. I noticed that the drop in performance in the second session happened again. James also realized this and got my attention. Nothing of it took away my good mood. Not even when Mike and Josh Solano were the only actors called by the press to say a few words. I was happy with the three days off, to have made peace with my father, and for the unexpected extra money.
Shelby left a contact list of qualified agents. She said as soon as I get my professional register, I need to articulate a team. Many of my fellow cast members were also beginning to wonder agents as soon as possible. Maybe they were right to do it soon, but I would at least expect and enjoy my days off. I needed to think about something quick and good to Quinn's 18th birthday.
When I woke up late on that Monday morning, Quinn was sitting on my bed with the New York Times on my computer screen.
"Do you want me to read it now or after breakfast?" I analyzed my girlfriend's face, but it was very difficult to assume what she was thinking when she raised an eyebrow and just got serious. It was frustrating.
"After breakfast?" I think I was panicking.
She just got up and left my room. I sighed a little relieved. I swear that Quinn could be the most complicated and unpredictable person in the world when she wanted to do something without the slightest trace of guilt or compassion to those who were near. Without further to do, I got up and did my hygiene before eating bananas with honey and granola while watching the world through the window. I had so much to do that day: buy a birthday's present to Quinn and make some emergency purchases in the market.
"Where's Mike?"
"He slept in Angela's place. I think he is coming back soon. Why?"
"Nothing important. Just wanna know."
While I was eating and mentally listed the tasks of my day, Quinn was sitting on the couch reading a book. She had always been a good reader, even at McKinley. I used to read a book once a month. Santana and Mike were not different. Quinn, on the other hand, could devoured a book per week on average. She likes to go to a sebum after Sunday's church and being lost there for a hour. I tried to follow her once, but I had no patience and Quinn ended up annoying me. These are things I will never understand: when I go to a bookstore, I know exactly what I want and I'm objective. Quinn? No way! First she needs to establish a "relationship" with the nominee book, compare it with others, touch it, read the browsing and sometimes even smell. An hour later she decides which one she will to take.
"You can read the review now... if you want." I said while preparing to wash the dishes and even organize the messy kitchen after breakfast.
"It's a long one." Quinn put the bookmark in the book and calmly picked up the iPad. I held my breath.
Unlikely Hornby
By William James Scott
Among many novels by the author of 'High Fidelity' adaptable to other arts, the always audacious director James Golvi decided to be inspired by 'Songbook', a book of chronicles and music reviews. James and his partner in crime Roger Benz created an unlikely pseudo-musical with the same book's name and the pleasing result can appreciated in weekend sessions in the off-off-Broadway's The Flea until the end of August. The Chronicles written by Nick Hornby were transformed into stories of five characters as they had in common a solid friendship with Nick (Mike Chang) and they filled with anguish of being kicked from adolescence to adulthood face life.
Golvi ventured to select an amateur cast in a record time because the pressure from sponsors. Some of them were pre-selected directly from a choir national competition performed in late spring in Midtown. The cast was met with skepticism in the middle, but the director instincts were right: the newbies took the stage with the needed freshness to the development characters with similar ages, hopes, stories and insecurities. Golvi had all the merit in the discovery of Mike Chang and Josh Solano, who play respectively Hornby's Asian alterego and Rob, the wild rider. These young boys were the best in the stage and should become recurring faces in the NYC theater community. Rachel Berry-Lopez is another promising young actor who need to hone though, but she has a voice that could melt the icy heart of any journalist. Her interpretation of the unfortunate young Kate in 'First I Look At The Purse' is surprising good.
"There's another paragraph. Should I continue?" Quinn asked.
I couldn't say anything more after the excitement with the great review. I was jumping and screaming. It would be good to have a positive review in the New York Times. But a positive review and a personal compliment (even with a critic in the middle) was more than I could dream. A pity that the review was only available in the journal's electronic version. Otherwise, I would buy 50 issues just to give away to friends and relatives. The internet was less charming, but it was easier. I selected the page and sent it by email to anyone who could remember at the time: my parents, Schuester, Zaide, aunt Maria (with recommendation to show it to abuela), Finn…
"You'll have a heart attack!" Quinn grabbed me.
I just kissed and got her breathtaking. Her face was red when we parted.
"And you were teasing me!" I complained smiling. "I thought it was a devastating review. I could barely eat my breakfast."
"A little mystery never hurt anyone." Quinn then put an arm around my waist and drew me closer to her body in a way that made my legs wobbly. I felt her hot breath near my neck that made all my body shiver. Quinn had that power over me and all she needed was doing a few gestures. I was so sold! "How about a date tonight?" She whispered in my ear before kissing the spot next to my ear that made my heart jumps and my breathing becomes panting.
"S-s-sure!" She continued the sweet torture that made me wet in inappropriate places.
"Seven p.m. You and I. Movie and dinner." Her other silly hand reached down to my breast. And her hand wasn't shy to massage me there. So good…
"Hmmm."
"I'll take that as a yes." She left me suddenly and thankfully the sink was nearby so I could support myself and not fall.
"You. Are. Evil."
I was dizzy. Quinn had been doing this kind of game: seduce me in an erotic way just to leave me right after. This was different then our making out sessions in the basement. I was starting to get frustrated with the sudden breaks. Very frustrated and looking for more.
"I'm leaving. I must go to Flea and I will be back around four." She picked up her things and gave me a quick kiss. And there was I forgetting what I had to do.
…
"Wow" Santana came in our room putting her stuff on the floor, and I took a deep breath to not be annoyed by her. She was a messy in this sense, while I enjoyed all of our things in the proper place. But I ignored that Santana was sitting on my bed, which was on the side of the door, to take her shoes off and throw them anywhere in the room. "Quinn is all dressed up. Are you going on a date?"
"Yes, we are." I was finishing combing my hair. "Movie and dinner."
"Come here!" Santana took her makeup case. "It doesn't look like you're wearing lipstick. If that icy blonde looks like a goddess, you can't look less."
"Do you think that Quinn is pretty?" I teased my sister while I knelt in front of her and closed my eyes to her finish the shadow.
"I never said otherwise. Quinn is a pretty girl, of course. But she's one hell of a bitch that doesn't always play fair. That's it." Santana worked quickly on my face. She was good at this. "All right… You are beautiful, sis!"
"What about the clothes?" I was insecure.
"Well Rachel Berry-Lopez." She opened our small closet. "Wear this shirt. And it will get better with these pants and..." She took another piece of her clothing. "With this jacket." She took the cardboard box that kept the scarves. "Change of plans ..."
I walked out of my room confident that I was fine, but my eyes lit up when I saw my girlfriend in a beautiful dress and high heeled boot. I didn't know this side of her: the sexy girl. I was used to seeing her in floral dresses and soft colors. I had the thanked Santana later for helping me to not feel like a hillbilly virgin beside Quinn.
"You are beautiful, Rachel!" She kissed me lightly and hold my hand. "Can we go?" I was still speechless but I nodded.
"Bring her back at eleven." Santana screamed from the room. I rolled my eyes.
Quinn took me to see "Take This Waltz", another Michelle Williams' indie movie with good reviews. We went to a small and charming theater in Upper West Side, next to Central Park. It was a surprise. I imagined that she would take me to see something like "Prometheus" at the cinema's mall. But Williams' movie and the place fitted more my girlfriend's style. "Take This Waltz" was the story of a woman who met a man and their chemistry is immediate. The problem is that the Williams' character lives a marriage with a good man and she is well related if his family. The end was kind of melancholic.
I could have a wide vocabulary, but Quinn was a true intellectual. She was the one that could notice obscure references in small and smart comments, she accompanied the story with impressive attention and laughed on some jokes that I even understand. In the slower narrative times, Quinn kissed my hand, gently pulling my arm to make small strokes, and I lay my head on her shoulders. We were on an exceptionally romantic evening, I could say.
After the movie, we went to the Calcutta Coffee, an Indian restaurant with reasonable price and formidable environment. We could sit at the table and talk without speaking loudly or shouting. Not to mention it had good vegetarian options. I experienced the exotic Aloo Gobi muttar, which was made with pears, cauliflower and tomatoes cooked in curry sauce. It was perfect. Quinn surprised me by also asking for a lighter dish. We bought ice tea. For some reason, Quinn said it would be useful later.
"I'm in heaven" I walked hand in hand with her through the streets chewing a gum. Even at this late hour of the night, the sidewalk was full. "This night is perfect... I just didn't understand why you booked a table in a nice restaurant and we are going on a date the day before you birthday?"
"Because I have different plans than yours." She smiled enigmatic and was leading me down the block.
"I love you Quinn Fabray."
"It's your satiated stomach saying this." She laughed quietly, but I stopped her.
"I'm not saying it because we are on a date." I looked in her gorgeous hazel eyes to ensure my seriousness. It was the first time I said it to her in the real sense. "I love you, Quinn Fabray. I really love you."
Quinn smiled and kissed me with passion in the middle of the sidewalk.
"I love you Rachel Berry-Lopez. I love you so much!" Then, she hold my hand again. "We're almost there!"
We stopped in front of a small but elegant building, those with small apartments for rich people. Quinn showed me a key and put it on the lock. The door opened.
"How?" I was surprised.
"Mr. Weiz was very pleased with the freelancer I made for his friend and decided to grant me a favor."
We took the elevator to the second floor and walked to the end of the hallway. Quinn took another key and we got into the flat with economical and sophisticated decor. The room was elegant with photo frames, dark wood, light carpet, a huge jar in the corner of the wall. Quinn allowed me to explore a bit the environment while she put the ice tea in the fridge of the small bar/kitchen (one-bedroom apartment wasn't exactly a place that people go to have a meal). Then she turned on the stereo and a soft jazz in the voice of Ella Fitzgerald invaded the room.
She walked toward me, like a lovely predator, and got me the way that made my legs weak. Quinn kissed me calmly, gently. She was preparing me, encouraging me. I could feel it. All seduction, dinner, walking... everything was a preparation for the day she would try that. She was planning everything and making sure that it would be truly special.
"I know what you're thinking." She said cautiously. "The date, this apartment, none of these means we have to do that. I just wanted to give you a special night and then sleep cuddled with you in a good charming place, and wake up beside you on my birthday."
I looked up to Quinn and there was only sincerity in those hazel eyes. It was true that she wanted to sleep and cuddle me in an innocent way. On the other hand, she wouldn't mind if something else happened. I also knew that I wanted her, I loved her and she was the right person. That might be the night, even though I haven't planned it in advance, as I would have done if I was still the old Rachel from Lima. I hold Quinn's hand and started dancing to the sound of the smooth jazz. Quinn, lulled by the rhythm, was still kissing me softly on my mouth, on my neck, giving me goose bumps and my stomach hurts because of the butterflies fluttered inside. There was also another sensation: the moisture down there.
"Could you excuse me? It's just taking a second." I walked away and went to the bathroom. There I panic for a few seconds. I checked my appearance in the mirror, my breath and used the little intimate shower to wash down there after pee. So I got ready as best as I could.
I found Quinn still standing, looking through the shutter of the window. She smiled awkwardly and also went to the bathroom and came out five minutes later with a sheepish smile. She was so gorgeous. She kissed me with more passion and I knew what she wanted and thought that perhaps it's time.
"Let's see the room?" I said in a blurry voice.
"Rachel... are you sure?"
"I want it." I actually was still uncertain, but I knew she would stop if I asked.
She guided me. My nervousness was evident. At that point, I didn't notice décor or room size. I was only focused on Quinn, in her wise eyes and her beautiful, perfect smile. I never felt so loved as in her arms.
"I will only make things more comfortable, okay?"
She said before unbuttoning my pants and brought it down to my knees. She made me sit up in bed, then, she took off my shoes and pants, to finally took off her dress and boots. I widened my eyes when I saw her only in her panties for the first time. Quinn had a beautiful body. So feminine. Her legs were thick and harmonize well with her hips, that was wider than mine. My body was like Santana's, only less muscular. I felt so little.
She came over, took off my scarf and my blouse before driving me to the center of the king size bed. Quinn lay beside me and we began to kiss. She encouraged me to feel her body, known her curves. Hesitantly, I touched her breasts for the first time with no clothes on top. They were so soft. My girlfriend put her hand over mine as if teaching me. I was a quick learner. Her hands also roamed over my body, but still above the waist. I felt her fingers on the clasp of my bra. She looked at me asking me silent permission. I nodded. As soon as I found myself exposed, I was afraid. Quinn didn't have large breasts, but mine were smaller. I tried to hide it again crossing my arms.
"No. You're beautiful, Rach. And perfect." She made me uncross my arms and massaged my breasts while kissing me.
From my mouth, she went to my neck and adjusted her body to stay on the top of me. I felt the weight of her body on mine and it made me feel so good. It was yummy and brought feeling of submission that wasn't that bad. I knew I was at Quinn's mercy and could only pray for her kindness and compassion. My body jumped when I felt her mouth on my nipple. It was the first time. The sensation was strange and good. Very good. My body reacted as it was on fire, losing control, but I was certain I wanted more of it. Quinn spent a good time kissing and sucking my breasts and I barely noticed her hand caressing my thigh, making circles on my skin. Quinn readjusted again, this time she put one leg between mine. Her hand moved down until I felt it on my sex for the first time. My body involuntarily jumped for the second time. Quinn stared at me.
"It's still ok?"
"You... is that... I've never... do it…"
"Never?" She took her hands away and pushed a lock of my hair from my forehead.
"I never put my hand there for that purpose. I didn't know I would feel this way."
"You're telling me you've never masturbated?"
"I resisted many temptations. But I had to remain pure in every way... to the right person, to the one I love." She opened a huge and beautiful smile.
"May I?" It was so good, but I was a bit afraid. "I won't hurt you. I promise."
"Ok… but please, go slow."
"I will. I love you so much."
She kissed me before down her hands once again to my sex.
Her touch was so good and my body was on fire, asking for more. Quinn started massaging my clit over my panties, that was completely ruined in moisture. Her caresses made me dizzy and caused shock waves and shiver through my body. My muscles had no control, I was breathless. And the weirdest part is that I wanted more of that.
"May I do it inside your pants?" I her voice was hoarse with passion.
"Yes!" I almost screamed.
I felt her fingers contact directly to my skin and it was even better than I might think. Quinn was pressing and making circles on my clit while she was kissing me. I was so lost!
"Oh my god!" I whispered loudly and teased a smile on her lips.
Then the hand disappeared and Quinn looked at once again.
"Rachel, we could stop right here. But If you let me remove the last barrier, I'll going all the way. Is that what you want?"
At that time I wasn't able to make important decisions. I was sure I loved Quinn, she was the right person. That's it.
"Please!" I sound as I was begging. "Quinn, oh god, please."
Quinn gave me a long kiss before removing my panties and hers. Then, she repositioned herself on top of me, but this time she spread my legs further apart, so she could fit between them. She rocked her hips against mine and that movement was literally driving me crazy. Her hand came down again and started working on my clit. It started slowly and was gradually getting more pressure. Her hand down there and her mouth on my breasts would make me collapse. My body made involuntary movements, I was breathless as ever. I let out a scream that I didn't even know I was holding. Then, came a strong wave that was one of the best things I've ever felt in my entire life.
"What was that?" I said a few minutes later. I was still trembling.
"It's called orgasm." Quinn had a proud smile and kissed me lightly. "It was only the first of many." she repositioned on the top of me and brought her hand up to my sex again. "Rachel, I will get in this time. Do you allow me?"
I just nodded. One more affectionate kiss and Quinn's fingers parted my labia and caressed my entry a little bit. She made me open my legs a little more and invaded me with two fingers. My body jumped again, but the feeling was invasion and discomfort.
"Breathe and try to relax." She kissed my forehead. "I want it to be pain free, but it is your first time and you're deliciously tight. It will get better very soon. Just relax."
"Ok… ok… it's not that bad… I just…"
"I know. I love you Rachel Berry-Lopez." She kissed me while her fingers were still in.
"I love you too."
Then, she started to move in and out.
Tears ran down my cheeks, but they weren't of sadness or pain. It was pure love. Quinn made me feel complete.
…
I woke up feeling Quinn's soft skin and her bare shoulder being my pillow. Her arms enveloped me. I could feel small kisses against my forehead. I felt different, I didn't know how to explain, but I was feeling matured. I couldn't wish for a better first time. Everything was perfect: my inexperienced hands that made Quinn laugh a bit when I touched and penetrated her; the strange and pleasurable reactions I experienced. Even the pain of the first penetration had its value. All was perfect because it was made by someone I loved and trusted. I was living one of the happiest morning of my life.
"Good morning, my lady." Quinn straightened up so we could talk face to face. I was even more amazed of how beautiful she was. I looked like an angel. She was breathtaking with her blond hair in the pillow. "Sleep well?"
"I had the best night of my life." We kissed. "Happy birthday, my angel."
"Thank you. So… is everything ok?" She squinted, as if she wanted to examine all my features. "No pain?" I understood the reason of the question because not all the first times were good. Quinn got pregnant on her, and Santana's was particularly disastrous.
Quinn could relax because I was well and happy.
"I'm a little sore. But not in a bad way."
"Hum…" her hand moved down my torso to rest at my hips "Do you want a massage?" So I nodded. Quinn kissed me, making me lie on my back in the process. Her lips came down my body and soon I was screaming her name while receiving my massage with her mouth and tongue. It was her birthday, but I got the gift.