Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.
-Swami Sivananda

"Are you sure you want to do this, Alicia?" PJ asked me before we walked through the doors of the police station.

"Yes, it's only right."

I had told the people at the photo shoot that I had a family emergency and had to go home right away. They looked somewhat disappointed, but told me I had better be here next time, and that they'd take all the shots that don't include me while I was gone.

After taking some general information, two detectives called me back to an interrogation room. They told me PJ wasn't allowed back with me during this part of the investigation.

The first question they asked me was what happened. I told them everything I could remember, but I've forgotten some of the details, but everything else is with the hospital. Then they asked me who did it, where I was, and what time it happened. I asked them why they couldn't just take all the things I said at the hospital, but, apparently, I have to "get used to telling my story over and over again". These detectives weren't as nice as Detective Jewell.

They then continued to ask me more questions, such as if they take the kit from the hospital, and what he was wearing, and what I was wearing, and the smells of the room.

I was sent home after they were done taking a statement, and then, a few hours later, they called me back to the precinct to let me know they have him in custody, and I needed to identify him in a line up. They arrested him and put him in their holding cell. They said they'd try to get him remand without bail tomorrow. Then, I saw Detective Jewell.

"Our ADA will make sure we have the best case possible," Detective Jewell assured me.

After I was done at the precinct, PJ took me home to Flower. I figured I should probably be getting my life back to normal and just move on. All I really want from this is closure.

Since PJ didn't have a scale in his bathroom, and he followed me around everywhere I went, I couldn't weigh myself in the couple of days I was with him. All I ate was that one plate of eggs so I couldn't have gainedtoomuch weight.

As I stepped onto the digital scale in my bathroom, I braced myself for the worst. I really can't be spending the night at PJ's like this. I can't pretend to eat there because he hovers over me, and I can't go and purge it because there are too many people that will hear me! Finally, the scale came up with the number but it wasn't the right number and just made me feel worse.

How am I going to tell my parents what happened to me? They're going to find out anyway, either when it hits the papers (I can see the headlines now), or when their country club friends start gossiping. How are they going to take it? Are they going to blame me? Will they sympathise with him just like many news channels have done in past attacks? I've seen what happens to victims when they go public with their story. People send them threats, and harass them, and tell them they made it all up for attention. I even heard a story about an heiress whose trust fund was emptied when she told her dad about her attack. Would my parents do that to me?

"Daddy?" I began after the maid gave the phone to him. "Can you meet me for dinner tonight?"

Three months later

It had been nearly ninety days since my assault. The ADA at the precinct wasn't able to persuade the judge to get him remand without bail, but she said bail was set pretty high. I wish the justice system wasn't so slow moving. They said it's going to take almost a year to get to the actual trial, and that I'll have to tell my story over and over again to a bunch of people I don't know many times. I'm going to have to go to a preliminary hearing in three months, and then wait another six months or so (the detectives said it might be more or it might be less) to go to trial, that's if the judge decides there's enough evidence to have a trial.

But I don't think anybody's noticed all the weight I've lost. Flower once commented on how little I've been eating and how weird I've been acting lately. I, of course, denied everything. What does she know?

PJ had been promising me for days he was going to do something special with me, but he refuses to tell me what. At around ten 'til seven in the evening, PJ came by my flat to pick me up. He told me to pack comfortable and warm clothes, and whatever else I wanted. After I packed some jeans, sweaters, a coat, and a pair of warm pyjamas, he took me to his car and started driving. When we got to his house, he covered my eyes and began to lead me to the backyard. I heard him unzip something and gently pull me into something. When I opened my eyes, I saw I was in a huge tent that's tall enough for both of us to only slouch a little bit when we stand up. It was partitioned in the middle so we had a separate place to sleep. An extension cord from the house led into here so we could hook up his laptop to watch films and have a space heater to keep us warm.

"I figured we'd both be more comfortable closer to a house. If we have to go to the bathroom, we can just go inside," PJ said sitting down in one of the beanbags he had set up. I pulled the remaining beanbag closer to him and took a seat as we went through a stack of DVD's. We eventually decided on Howl's Moving Castle.

After the film was over and the screen faded to black, both PJ and I decided it was time for bed, being that it was nearing one in the morning. We moved back to the section where we slept and then crawled into the two sleeping bags PJ had already zipped together, and then we covered ourselves with more blankets. We turned off the space heater so the tent wouldn't catch fire.

"I love you, PJ," I said after he turned off the lamp. "I don't think I could have healed this much from what happened without you."

He pulled me closer and kissed me before replying: "I love you too, Alicia."

He kissed me, and then I kissed him back, and we continued this cycle as it got more and more intense by the second, and then in no time, our clothes were slowly beginning to come off (I can feel the tissues begin to freeze now), which isn't something I planned for the night.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or obligated to," PJ inquired. Of course, I violently nodded my head and quickly consented.

I only had been intimate with someone once before when I was still in school, but what's happening between PJ and I cannot be compared. Maybe it's because I have stronger feelings for PJ. It's the feeling of going upside down on a roller coaster, or the jump out of a plane when skydiving.

After we finished, we laid in each other's arms for a few minutes before we got cold and put our clothes back on and decided that this time we really were going to go to bed.