Welcome to PAD's old, cold, car.

Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Radiator Factory.

I just want to borrow some of her heat to warm up my ride.

Cullenstein

"Holymotherfuckingshit!" It's cold out here! It's gotta be near zero. Huh, even the icicles have icicles. I need to stop shivering my ass and get the key in the ignition. "Shit box, hot rocks, my cock—just turn over, dammit."

It's a good thing I'm all by myself. Anyone riding with me would think I'm a deranged mental patient for yelling at my car—especially using those words. But, for some unknown reason, that mantra seems to work every time.

Poor Volvo ... she's been so abused over the years. My dad had her first, then Emmett, then me. I can do without the visuals of what my parents have done in here, but Emmett's had some pretty interesting forms of entertainment with her... as have I.

There's still no heat yet—friggin' Bella and her awesome cooking. She knows that's my one weakness. Like Frankenstein behaves to music, the Cullenstein just caves for food. Thank God, I'm almost there.

Huh, Jasper left a blunt in my ashtray. I guess I can't let that go to waste….

Ah, finally, our local twenty-four hour convenience mecca. I need to begin attacking my mental shopping list.

Let's see. Why did I come here...?

Oh yeah; Bella's pie.

I should never have had that weed with Jasper tonight ... or smoked the remainder of it in my car. It was good shit, but now I can't remember a damn thing.

I probably should have put the list into my iPhone, too ... Nah, I'm a guy; I'll figure it out ... eventually.

Mnemonics, Cullen. Think of what Bella said. There were a lot of "C's." Mmmm?

Cream! Yeah, yeah that's it … whipped cream … the carton stuff and the canned stuff. Okay, check that.

Ooh, Cheetos, I have to get some of those.

"C" ... "C" … Oh yeah, Coke, I need some of that, too.

"C" ... "C" …chocolate! Okay, what chocolate? Umm, chocolate bits!

Oh, and I gotta get one of those big, dark sixty-percent bar things.

Yes, we need some dip.

Cool, nacho cheese. Cheese begins with a "C," too.

I can't forget Tostitos.

Oops, almost forgot salsa.

Okay, more "C's." Chocolate ... chocolate ... pudding! Awesome!

All right, one more "C." Pudding, chocolate, chocolate bits, whipped cream ... uh, it goes into a …

Crust! Got it!

Okay, time to get out of here.

"Wait, give me some of those." I flag down the cashier. It's Thursday night tomorrow; I can't do without the Magnums—better get the twelve-pack. Heh, condoms begin with a "C," too.

One more thing—I need smokes.

Hah! Even cigarettes begin with a "C." Shit, I'm beginning to sound like The Count on Sesame Street. I think that's my cue to leave.

"Your total is $55.21."

... for a fucking pie?

Geez, maybe Bella's right about the list thing.

I bring three full shopping bags out to my once warmed up but now ffffffreezing-again car and think ... milk.

I gotta have milk with pie.

I snort, calcium begins with a "C," too, so does cow.

It's now nearly sixty dollars and an hour and a half later.

I grab the bags out of my finally toasty car. Huh, toasted. Yeah, I guess I was pretty toasted back there to buy all this.

Shit, this is getting ridiculous. I don't have Mom around here now to take care of me or point me straight. I know Bella's not going to put up with this. She'll probably hand my ass to me on a plate after she cooks it up with something...

Ugh. The image gives me the "willies" like the Hannibal Lecter and Ray Liotta moment ... that's not something I want to think about before sleeping.

I barely make it inside the front door without sliding and falling on my ass.

It's pretty dark, so Bella must have turned the lights off.

"Bella, I got your stuff!" I feel things starting to slip just as I make it to the kitchen counter. I set all the bags down right before they rip.

I grope my way to the light switch and turn it on.

"Oh shit! No!"

Bella made the pie after all, minus the whipped cream.

And right now, it's stuck to the bottom of the grocery bags.

"Fuck."

I remember now. The whipped cream and the sixty percent dark chocolate were the only things I was supposed to get.

She's going to geld me.

I tread into the bedroom hallway and knock gently on the door.

"Bella, are you awake?"

Mmm hmm.

Edward, man up and just take the punch.

"Bella, I did something really stupid, and I won't blame you if you want to hit me. So give me your best shot."

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

"I, um, wrecked your pie by setting the grocery bags on top of it. I couldn't remember what I went to the store for because I got partially baked on the way there so I started messing with mnemonics to remember what I needed to get. I ended up spending ninety minutes getting sixty dollars' worth of stuff."

"Well, I'm too tired to deal with you now, and I'd being lying if I said that I didn't expectyou to disappoint me. Just put away the groceries, clean up your mess, and go to bed."

"Oh ... okay."

Somehow, her words hurt more than any beat-down she could have given me.

I was expecting a long and drawn out sparring match, but she just shut me down and conceded. I kind of like it when she yells and throws shit at me. God, I'm a sick fuck.

Well, I'm done with putting all the stuff away, and of course I couldn't let the pie go to waste. It's a shame I had to settle for the canned whipped cream. It just doesn't do her desserts justice. Well, time to hit the sack.

Crunch … rustle … thud … thwack … crash … slap.

Okay, my bed is cleaned off enough to sleep in.

Wow, this room's really a disaster. If I expect to get laid tomorrow night I better plan on crashing at the house of whichever girl I pick up.

Whew, I'm finally settled into bed. Ahhhh, it feels good to stretch and scratch. Sigh. Hmm, what's that on the ceiling? It looks like it's moving. It looks like a…

"Nooooo fuuuuuuuuuck!"

"I'm outta of here."

I hate to be a pussy and bother her again tonight, especially after being such an ass, but I got an exam tomorrow and need a good night's sleep so the couch is not an option.

I knock lightly and enter slowly.

"Bella, can I sleep in here with you?"

"What happened now, Edward?"

"Uh...there's a spider in my room, and the thing's as big as a small cat!"

"Oh, for of... get in the bed, stay on your side, don't hog the covers, and keep your body parts to yourself. We'll deal with it in the morning."

"I wuv you, Bella. Mwah."

I plant a big kiss on her forehead, vault over body, and slide under her covers. Mmm, Bella's pillows smell so good.

Maybe it's her scent circling me or just her being who she is, but as I contentedly begin to drift off to sleep, I reflect not just on the day, but on an entire lifetime of memories—both good and bad—that have all been shared with the girl next to me. She's been a like a sister, sometimes a mentor, but always a friend. I can always count on her, but tonight I let her down. Cullen, there's just no excuse for that. As I blink back a tear and sniff-clear my emotion, I make a silent vow proclaiming that I will become the man that she knows is in me.

It may not happen tomorrow or the next day, but one day I'll make her proud.

A/N:

Aw, our boy is growing up.

On deck for Chapter 3: BPOV

Also, the pie will return along with the recipe.

Your reviews are sweet.

Send me some sugar.

Special thanks to Chayasara for beta'ing my mess and for not committing me.

Also, thanks to Monica Solis, a.k.a. CaliGirlMon for making my banner.

Mwah!

Thank you for reading.

PAD