Gossip

(Santana)

The boys from school always tormented Rachel. I know she complained that I never did anything to stop the bullying. I never told her, but I had to negotiate, did much blackmail and sometimes give in to keep things acceptable. Because, behind the scenes, I heard much worse plans than throw her slushies and give her names. Still, I made a blind eye to small attacks, thinking it could be beneficial. Rachel let tough and all this bullying taught her not bow her head to anyone. In fact, she never did. One thing I could say: no one ever touched a finger to attack Rachel and I was directly responsible for it.

Well... I knew how to fight when I was teased. Quinn, for example. We've traded some slapping, shoving and punching in some occasions. The first time was precisely because of Rachel. We were in the freshman year of high school few days after Rachel suffered her first slushie attack. I was in the locker room and I heard a conversation between Quinn and Frannie. Something about it being important that Quinn knocked on my sister after school. And even there was an apparent reason to do so. Frannie hated us and she was poising Quinn against Rachel, since I was Frannie's target, anyway. But I didn't expect the end of the day. I caught Quinn off guard by her neck and threw her on the ground under the bleachers. And I gave a lesson that left her with a black eye. I didn't know why, but Quinn never told Frannie that I was the one who did that to her. I later knew that it was Frannie's idea in order to heal "gay" sighs of her little sister. Oh, the irony! Bunch of assholes.

All these memories came to my mind three seconds after I heard the heavy argument and screams coming from Rachel and Quinn's room. Adrenaline climbed into my body and I reacted when I heard Rachel screaming:

"You're hurting me!"

I dropped the crutches there, broke into the room and I was soon pushing Quinn. She fell on the bed and I positioned myself between these two, I had to protect my sister. I didn't know what was happening or why, but that was no ordinary fight between these two. Before I questioned what was going on, Quinn flew over me. I fell down and hit my back violently against the fragile closet door. It broke and I found myself among the shards. My immobilized ankle wasn't helping me to stand up and Rachel was kind of frozen. Fabray climbed on top of me, and held my left arm in the process. That was it, I was screwed.

"Stay out of my business!" She said before I felt her hand colliding with my face in a punch right on my chin.

I tried to move, release myself, defend myself, but Fabray was in a better position.

"Get out of her!" I heard Rachel's voice.

My sister pushed Quinn and she fell sideways. Nothing that bad, but it was enough to make Quinn got out of me. In a fight, the simpler gesture becomes a big deal. Quinn stood up truly angry and I was afraid that she would hit on my sister for real and I would have to watch and scream since I couldn't do anything. I was in pain and unable to get up without any help. She did threat to advance towards Rachel with an open hand, as if to slap. Then, she stopped in front of my sister and put her arm on top of the dresser, dragging everything. Some objects have fallen upon me.

"Fuck you!" She said to my sister. "Fuck you, your sister, and all your TV friends."

Then, Quinn grabbed her purse and left the apartment.

"Santy?" Rachel said with a small, tearful voice.

She was shaking, still, she helped me get up, but was unable to immediately. I felt strong sharp pain in my ankle and another one in my back.

"Wait!" I tried to contain my moan of pain, but I couldn't. "I think I hurt myself again." I said breathlessly.

Slowly, Rachel helped me first to sit down. Then, she positioned so that I could use her to get up. I passed my arm on her shoulder to support and she led me to the bed. I sat on the edge and looked deep breath. But then I saw blood on Rachel and scared. For a second I forgot my own pain.

"Did she hurt you?" I pointed to her hand.

"That's not my blood." She looked at my back and touched something that caused me pain in the back of my left shoulder.

Rachel ran to her bathroom and returned with a briefcase first aid and medicines.

"What?"

"A piece of wood is stuck in your skin. It's not deep, I think."

She examined and then pulled the piece of wood. It burned to the bone. Papi wouldn't approve it, for sure, but Rachel did it anyway and started to pressure the wound to stop the bleeding. I think I fainted for a while, because when I realized I was lying in bed and Rachel spent alcohol on my wrists.

"Thank God!" She said. "We must go to the hospital."

"Yeah…" I was so weak.

"Do you think you can walk a little bit until our car?"

"I think so."

So, we went to the hospital with the janitor's help. He put in the car, since my foot was throbbing like hell, and also my back. Rachel thanked the man and gave him some money "for his help."

"You shouldn't have done that!" Now she was angry while driving me to the hospital.

"You were screaming and I reacted, ok? I thought Quinn was hurting you."

"She just grabbed my wrist."

"For me this is already an assault and..." My whole body was throbbing.

"Don't faint again, Santana! And your reaction was much worse! This is not your business."

"Of course it is! You are you my sister… what happened, anyway?"

"A gossip website published a photo with Rom kissing me on the mouth."

"Manip?"

"No. It's very real."

"Did you…"

"I didn't cheat on her! Rom kissed me after the Hamlet scene in the theater. It was just a silly moment that happened and passed."

"Did you kiss him back?"

"No!" She screamed and honked in anger. "That kiss lasted two seconds, I didn't kiss him back, but a frame can last an eternity. Especially on Tumblr! Go figure! There were some journalists in the set. They just see everything wrong."

I could understand my sister frustrations. If she was saying it was nothing, then I believed her. But Quinn… it's a different story. Quinn is a jealous person and very insecure. Anyway, we arrived at the hospital and went straight to E.R. Only tine could fix my chin, the doctor clued my back and made a dressing. About my ankle, there was nothing broken but it swelled up and I had to make a new test to see if the surgery was affected. Until there, I had to take painkillers and anti-inflammatory in the vein, and the doctor recommend an intensive treatment with ice. After almost two hours, we were back home. Before we could open the door, Rachel's cell ringed.

"Hi Mike... I see... I don't think... I know, but... Okay... Tomorrow!"

"Let me guess." I was waiting for her. "Quinn's with Mike?"

"I don't know where Quinn is, but she isn't with Mike." Rachel finally opened the door. "He saw the picture and asked about it."

"I just want to see who else will torment you."

"Now it doesn't matter. I will only answer Quinn."

"If she took her phone." Rachel looked at me funny and decided to call her fiancé. The phone rang inside of Rachel's room. "That's not my fault that she forgot her cell after punch me."

"I'm not saying anything. Quinn is a well jealous yes, but you did it!" She said with her eyes glazed on the phone.

"You know what? Next time I won't move a finger, ok? I will just watch her pushing you!"

"She wasn't going to hit."

"It was not what it seemed!" I snapped.

"So you should let her take the first punch! I know how to defend myself, Santana!"

There was no point on argue with Rachel in that state of nerves. Even with the medicines, I was in pain, but I didn't want to think about when the effect has passed. Rachel wanted to be alone and with a bit of argument, she would make me feel guilty for defended her. I better go to my room and wait for things to cool. I lay on my bed and tried to calm myself. Then I became curious about the news. I grabbed my computer and typed in "Rom Tyler" on Google. I selected "news" and looked for the latest results. "Rom Tyler may be living romance with coworker." Headline with six matching items, which means six gossip sites saying the same thing. I opened the link and came to picture him kissing Rachel while hugging her. There were people laughing in the background, Rachel was in her costumes, but he wasn't. It looked like a guy celebrating with his girlfriend.

"The new HBO series 'Slings and Arrows' has not even debuted, but it is possible to say that its backstage are hot, especially for Rom Tyler ('Lost Treasures'). The 25 years old actor may have began to live an almost secret romance with his co-star Rachel Berry (20). The duo was spotted kissing during the shootings. Although the actress claims that they are just friends, Tyler, himself, loves to praise his co-star. "Rachel is a sweet person. She is extremely professional when she is on scene, but after the cut, she just does these contagious laughs and all is right in the world. Rachel is really an inspiration." According to production sources, the co-stars approve the relationship between them. "Rom was very agitated and anxious in the beginning. Now, he is very focus on the job. This relationship did very well to him", said a crew member. Rachel Berry will make her grand debut on television in 'Slings and Arrows'. The actress began her career in Broadway plays and this year received her first Tony nomination for best supporting actress in a musical for 'Across the Universe'. Rom Tyler is best known for his role as Sam Madison in 'The Almanac', and he had a troubled romance with Liv Watson, lead singer of Space Riders."

It wasn't for nothing that Quinn has been so possessed. The text had more quality and details those cockroaches notes from these gossip tabloids circulating around town. And it had a great photo of the kissing. Rachel wasn't that famous yet, but Rom was. Well, he wasn't a big star, but he was longer in the business and has a fame that he sleeps with his co-stars. At any moment the gossip reporter says 100% sure they were having an affair. What is true, for sure, is that Rachel and Rom were great colleagues that support each other. But the set implies that there is a flirtation in the process. The photo, compliments, everything favors this interpretation.

Rachel knocked on my door and then entered with caution.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, you can." I straightened up to make more room in my bed, so Rachel sat by my side.

"Sorry... I thought better and... I think the argument was a bit loud... and you weren't there in the room..."

"Ok! Have you seen the gossip?"

"No. Quinn showed me the picture and started asking satisfactions. I didn't have the courage or mind reading."

"Nina should have warned you. It was her obligation."

"She can't control it, Santana. And it didn't damage my image, only my relationship that nobody out of my circle can know about. Besides, I will not draw conclusions for today. I'm sure Quinn will come back later, maybe a little drunk, and we will talk about it."

"I hope so, Rachel. Anyway, the gossip says absolutely nothing, but it is a slightly less bad written than that Broadway tabloid that said you were having an affair with Lucas Hibbs. Did you remember?" Rachel stretched the eye to the screen of my computer and was silently reading the text.

"Rom and I became closer in the set, it is true. I'm closer to him than I am to Amanda or Luis. And Quinn knew it. We three went out to dinner that day, did you remember?" She frowned. "But then to have a relationship of this nature is another story."

"I know, Ray. Quinn isn't the best person when she has attacks of jealousy."

"What is a relationship without a big fight, right?" Rachel said forcing a smile, but now with moistened eyes.

"Fights are normal. I know you two argue sometimes. But what happened today wasn't cool Ray, and I'm not talking about my visit to the hospital. There are limits that can't be overcome." I tried to speak gently. "Tell the truth: she not only took your wrist with a little more force." Rachel shook her head and began to cry.

"No." She took a while to keep the conversation. "She may have exaggerated the strength... and I may have hit my back against the wall..."

I gently grabbed Rachel's wrist and saw it was red. Not outrageously red, but it was a sign that an excessive force existed. My blood boiled. Rachel was embarrassed and I wasn't going to accentuate it.

"Quinn will end up needing professional help." I said still looking for help myself.

"Are you saying that Quinn has some problem or something?"

"I'm saying that Quinn crossed a line. This means something. Don't you think this is a sign that you should know the reason? Our life here is very stressful and I always hear that relationships with actors are complicated. You are always kissing someone, or doing a sex scene, and all the gossip. It is complicated."

"I... I need to think better of it."

"You know I only want your good, right?" Rachel nodded positive and tried to swallow the tears. I put the tray on the nightstand and gave room for her to lie down beside me. So we fell asleep.

…

(Quinn)

My morning was as normal as possible. Part of the documentary team met to receive the final paycheck and to say goodbye after a great job. Sure there have been discussions and disagreements, but nothing that would compromise the progress of activities. I could go back to working with everyone without the slightest problem. I passed in the bank and deposited my money before going home. Rachel was at the Canadian consulate to request a work visa since she was very close to work on a TV film that would be shot in Canada. She had a window between Slings and Arrows, which would end the weekend, and her new musical play. Then, we would have a short time off just for us two.

I went back to our house. Santana made expressed food (read: microwave food) while muttering against Johnny. Apparently he had mentioned a girl. Rachel arrived next and the three of us ate an unhealthy terrible pasta filled with sodium sauce. Santana volunteered to clean the kitchen while Rachel and I went to our room. She was on the bed reading the script and I took a quickly nap, enjoying a lazy day.

I slept only half hour. When I woke up, Rachel was beside me lying face down and her head was next to my feet, as she use to do when reading a book or a magazine in bed. She seemed concentrated on reading. I don't know if she was analyzing the movie as an unit or only her character that had few scenes and speaks 16 lines. It could be less depending on the final cut. So I went to my computer and took it to the bed. I sat with my back leaning against the headboard and I decided to check my Facebook. It was there that I found the photo posted by Jewfro with a link to Hollywood Life. My vision blurred after o saw Rom kissing Rachel on the mouth. At first I thought it was a manip, then I tried to rationalize the thing about promotional romance. But Rachel and Rom weren't involved in this kind of thing. She would have told me, right? My mind started spinning and I could find no explanation, I could not think.

"Quinn?" Rachel noticed my agony.

"You and Rom?"

"What?" She sat up and looked scared at me.

"Since when are you and Rom kiss on set?"

"Quinn. Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about this." I showed the photo on the computer. "Tell me that this is a manip!"

"It's not. Sorry, Quinn. But neither is anything else. It's not what you're thinking."

"How so? Was it a scene? I didn't know you and Rom will be a romantic pair."

"It wasn't a scene. Sorry again. But it isn't a big deal."

"What? Now coworkers are out kissing as if it were no big deal? Sorry Rachel, but it is impossible to ignore." My voice was booming from the time I was getting more ironic.

"I think I remember... I had just made the Hamlet scene in the stage... We played a whole act for real. We were all very excited and Rom gave me that kiss in the end... but I hardly noticed at the time."

"Really? Then if you fuck someone after the stage, you may not notice because of the emotion of the moment?"

"This is unfair!"

"Unfair?" I no longer controlled over the volume of my voice. "You kissed a guy for nothing, confessed and said it was no big deal. Do you think I'm sucker?"

"Yes I do. At least you are being a sucker now, and unfair. How can you think that I deliberately betray you?"

"Then did you betray me?"

"Do not put words in my mouth. You know I didn't!" It was hard to breathe. It seemed that every time Rachel defended herself, everything got worse. I held on her wrist. She tried to break free, but I didn't let go and held more firm and determined. Rachel got out of bed, but I accompanied her.

"But you do allow your friends to kiss you!"

"That was nothing. Rom just kissed me for a few seconds and went away. Like a peck! Don't be stupid, Quinn."

"And I would still be a stupid if you decide to fuck him since a kiss is nothing?"

"I refuse to answer that kind of thing. I'll marry you, dammit!"

"Answer me!" I pushed her against the wall in the heat of emotion still without letting go of her wrist.

"You're hurting me!"

"You cheated on me!"

The door was opened and Santana grabbed my shirt and threw me against the bed. I would never hit on Rachel, moreover, Santana was not Rachel. Santana was the one who wasn't afraid to show the weight of her hand against my face. Not this time. I got an impulse, grabbed Santana and pushed her against the nearest wall. It was the closet door. The impact caused that fake wood cracked in pieces. Santana fell ugly on the floor, but I didn't care. There was a rage inside of me that needed to be fed with violence.

"Stay out of my business!" I said before bumping my hand on her face. I beat her as hard as I could.

Santana was in an unfavorable position, still she was trying to block me. But I didn't care. I wanted blood! Her blood!

"Get out of her!" Someone pushed me. Rachel.

She pushed me so hard that I collided with my back against the floor. I wanted to fight back, but I saw her really frightened. Rachel was afraid... of me. Even as angry as I was, I couldn't face that look. Rachel closed her eyes in the process. She was really scared of me and I didn't know why it made me even more pissed off.

"Fuck you!" I said to her. "Fuck you, your sister, and all your friends."

I passed her, I grabbed my purse and a pair of slippers. I needed to get out of there.

I didn't take the elevator. I went down six flights of stairs in record time. I reached the sidewalk still feeling confused, like a caged animal. The image of Rachel kissing Rom wouldn't get out of my head that easy. That little motherfucker who was best knew because he did sleep with his co-stars. What if that wasn't just a casual kiss? What if it were some kind of routine? What if it wasn't the first time? I was insecure and angry. I wanted payment in kind. That's when the idea came up and I took a cab.

I asked the driver to drive me to Atlantic Ave in Bushwick. It was there that lived Monica. I had gone to her house once when I had access to the car once and I gave her a ride to the documentary shot at night. I searched the building. It was as ugly as the first one I lived when I came to town.

"Monica? It's Quinn."

I heard the click of the ordinance and entered. I climbed three flights of stairs in one breath. No thought. I only acted. She was waiting for me at the door and went toward her like a wild animal.

"You said I could come whenever I want or need, that you would give me attention."

She nodded and allowed me to enter.

"I think I know why you're here."

"Everyone in town knows that I am the newest betrayed woman?" The revolt was still high on my chest.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. You didn't deserve this. She should have told you instead of letting you know by the press."

"She didn't even deny that the kiss actually happened!" I sat on her bed and started crying in disbelief.

Monica offered me a double of vodka, which I drank in a sip, like juice. The drink tearing down my throat, but I didn't care. After coughing a bit, I ordered another drink and then a third and a fourth double. Monica sat down beside me and began to stroke my back, whispering loving words. I was angry and at the same time so fragile. But what caught my attention was when she actually kissed my shoulder. I faced Monica with bleary eyes. I always knew she had a crush on me. Maybe it was time to learn how much. I stared at her and kissed her on the lips. Monica promptly kissed me back and when she gave me access, I could dominate her in the kiss. I touched her breasts and didn't hear any objection. Instead, she put her hand over mine, encouraging me to do more.

I wasn't thinking. I was just being taken by my emotions. I didn't like to think, but I knew that Rachel had to kiss other people on scene. It was part of her job. But then make it an extension in her dealings with co-workers was too much, and my anger grew more and more alone in viewing the picture of her kissing Rom. It was as if they were laughing at me, call me a sucker. It made me go against Monica's body even more.

I took off her blouse and kissed her without kindness while groping her breasts. It wasn't love. It was just angry sex and nothing else. But she seemed used to aggressive touch and might enjoy it. One way or another, she was making me feel comfortable, confident and dominant.

"Take off your pants." While I ordered, I started to undress myself. I grabbed the bottle of vodka and drank a little more.

Monica didn't question me. She just looked at me with a small smile on the corner of her lips. It was as if she was daring me to see what I could do. I stood beside the bed and pulled her hair down, making her kneel before me.

"Suck my clit."

She attacked my clit with an amazing hunger. Monica should be used of being on her knees giving blowjobs, allowing them to fuck her mouth and swallowing cum. It would be a good time if she could make me ejaculate. I'd love to see her face in my wet fluids. She sucked me with ease and it drove me crazy. I rolled my eyes and had an orgasm. It was enough to pull her into bed and fuck her the way I wanted. And that's exactly what I did.

…

I woke up in the night. Monica was sleeping beside me completely naked, with the marks of my hickeys on her chubby body. She was very different from my girl's body. And to think of my fiancé, the weight of guilt began to fall on me. Rachel kissed a coworker. But what did I do? I cheated on Rachel using Monica for my own pleasure and revenge. Despair hit on me and started crying uncontrollably.

…

(Rachel)

I woke with an arm around my waist and my body cuddling me. For a moment I closed my eyes and prayed that it was Quinn, that everything that happened yesterday was just a bad dream and that now, with the new day, everything would be as before. However, the arm was thinner, even if strong, darker, thinner fingers and slightly smaller. Santana. I was in her room, that chaos place that she refuses to organize properly. On the other hand, early morning on that messy bedroom was comforting in the face of bad circumstances. As bad as things were, my sister would always have to bolster me. I got up and the sleepy beauty nor realized. She turned to the side and continued sleep.

I entered my room hoping to find Quinn, but she wasn't there. She didn't sleep at home and it upset me even more. The marks of the fight the day before were still alive. The door of the closet destroyed, dirty carpet, the stain of Santana's blood in my bed. I pushed the door to get access to my clothes and I ended up even more damaging. I took a change of clothes and then a hot shower. The muscles in my shoulder were like stone. They burned. I wasn't hungry. I wanted to call Quinn, but it would be in vain since she forgot the phone here. A panic fell on my stomach, making me nauseous.

I urgently needed to distract myself. I needed anything. I would not go in my room again because it was too painful to look at the marks. I lost my hunger. I had no desire to turn on the television. I didn't feel anything. Maybe Quinn was hungry. I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Meanwhile, Santana opened the bedroom door and heard the familiar sound of crutches. Five minutes later, my sister kept me company while eating one of waffles and grimaced because of her purple chin and swollen lips.

"How's your ankle?"

"Sore was I really wanted to get rid of this thing." She pointed to the immobilizing boot.

"I'm sorry to inform, but you will get with this boot by the end of the month and will continue to use crutches for the next three months..."

"I heard the doctor, dwarf" Santana looked at me seriously after the cut he gave me. "Gotta sleep?"

"Just woke up this morning. Your bed isn't that bad."

"Well... I always knew how to choose the best mattress."

"This is kind of flirtatious argument, Santana. With me, it sounds somewhat incestuous!" She laughed. So loose that made me smile too.

"Sorry sis! Still, you loved to cuddle with me before. I kind of miss it."

"Truth. I loved to cuddle with you when you weren't trying to make me miserable."

Our conversation stopped when we heard a pounding on the door. My heart began to beat harder. When I answered, I saw Quinn in bad shape. She had dark circles, messy hair, strong smell and seemed to have a hungover.

"Can I come in?" Her voice was so small that my heart broke.

I let her get in her own home and she sat on the couch, like a guest would do.

"I'm going to my room." Santana took her crutches, but not before stopping in front of Quinn. "Be a good girl or I'll use my crutches this time... in your face."

I sat at the other end of the sofa and I couldn't stop looking at that picture that vaguely resembled my fiancé. She was visibly exhausted, with obvious pain. The way she squinted definitely showed that she had a hangover. All I wanted was to hug her and tell her things would be okay. But Santana played an important point: there were wrong things going on. I closed your eyes and ignore it wouldn't be the right attitude. We sat in silence. I didn't want to start. I thought this should be her role.

"Where did you spend the night?"

"In a friend's house."

"Santiago?"

"Nope."

"This friend has a name?" I crossed my arms.

"Look Rachel, I know I crossed some lines yesterday." Quinn had no courage to face me. "And I'll understand if you don't forgive me."

"I forgive you. But I think we should discuss some points. Your jealousy yesterday passed the limit of acceptable for something that didn't matter. Rom kissed me in a moment that I was caught by surprise. I was high after the scene, because all the emotions. It was quick and I didn't kiss him back. Rom didn't even talk about it after that or tried to seduce me some way. But your reaction scared me for real."

"I agree!"

"Santana suggested that maybe we could look for help. Talking with a therapist, perhaps?"

"I'm open to options."

"I know my job is not easy, Quinn. I try to imagine myself in your shoes. If you were an actress, how would I react to see you kissing another person or having to accept you need to be naked with a coworker? And pretend doing sex. And I understand why you don't want to watch Slings and Arrows. At least, not that episode… but I love you so much that I would try to understand. This is just a point. There are several others."

"And how would you feel if I said I was with someone else?"

That phrase came out of Quinn's mouth and exploded in my head and in my heart. I couldn't react at first, but then I tried to rationalize. Well, maybe she was just being hypothetical, after all, we were talking about fidelity, right?

"... I think I would want to know why you were with this person in the first turn." My hands wouldn't stop shaking. "I would wonder if you did it because you didn't love me anymore..." Damn tears that insisted drain on my face. "Why are you asking it? Have you been with someone else? Was with this friend?" I didn't want to hear the answer, but I had no alternative.

"Her name is Monica. I told about her to you once. She was part of the documentary's crew and you did invited her to my birthday party. Monica was into me, but until then, she just made small and discrete gestures, words, some light touches. Nothing invasive that I would think to be a threat for our relationship. I never corresponded her feelings, I swear to God. I swear to Beth. But when I saw the photo, I looked for her because I knew she would give me reason and say what I wanted to hear at that moment. I didn't want revenge for real, but she did say what I wanted to hear, she offered me a drink and something else."

"What happened between you two? Did you kiss her?" Quinn nodded with her head bowed, unable to face me. "Did you have sex?" My voice was full of pain.

"Yes."

My world fell.

"I'd better spare you the details... but know that I regretted it with my soul, Rach." She knelt before me. "It was mine lack of control. And now I want to die for hurting you like that. Still, you do have to know because I can't lie to you. I'm not that high school Quinn anymore. Please forgive me!"

I was silent. I couldn't speak anything. I couldn't even breathe. All I could do was cry.