Sometimes, Boromir felt as though death was out to get him, in the literal sense. Whatever he had done in his past life, he was certainly paying for it now. In the past month, he could recall three near-death experiences, and he was hoping that he'd make it to Halloween alive. He just kept on telling himself that he had made it this far, and that maybe he could do something to redeem his past life's horrible karma.

He was a good friend; he had helped Pippin study for his midterm, and he had gone to watch all of Eomer's home games and would cheer especially loudly whenever the Rohan native would score a point. He watched Eowyn's soccer games whenever she asked him, and even hauled Faramir along most of the time so his younger brother could drool over how awesome of a soccer player Eowyn was. Hell, he even went to watch Eomer's equestrian competitions. He would think that being such a good friend would make his bad luck go away.

No, of course it wouldn't.

Being a good friend did not control the weather, nor did it control the large trucks that drove down by the university. Though it had not been raining at the time of Boromir's departure from his dorm to the café, and though it did not start raining in the time it took him to walk to the café, Boromir still arrived at the busy café completely soaked. He hated the fact that puddles took so long to dry, and he despised the fact that that one truck driver happened to enjoy going through puddles.

Aragorn, who had been waiting the table closest to the door, gave a snort as he cleared away the crumb-filled plates and the near empty coffee mugs. Boromir glared back, and then shot at him, "Try having a date with soap sometime soon, Aragorn. If your hair got greasier, you could supply McDonalds."

Aragorn had taken a shower the night before. Boromir would know, because he lived in the same dorm room as Aragorn, but it was still a running joke between the two. Aragorn had naturally greasy hair, and if he spent more than a day without a shower, it began to show. Boromir had taken to teasing Aragorn about it, and Aragorn had taken to teasing Boromir about his horn-shaped keychain on his backpack.

"If your backpack got any hornier, I'd think it'd be gay for you," Aragorn shot back, and even Boromir had to give a small laugh, chuckling the whole way to the 'STAFF ONLY' door.

He changed quickly, using the hand drier to make his hair look somewhat presentable before he went out to work. He still looked like he had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but Boromir was getting to be pretty sure that he had no right side of the bed to get up on.

When he exited the change room and entered the café, he saw that there was a large crowd of girls around the glass cabinet holding the baked items. He could hear them whispering about how pretty Legolas, who was currently stocking up the baked items. Legolas gave a small groan, only loud enough for Boromir to hear as he turned and escaped into the kitchen.

Boromir then began to think that having Legolas as a waiter would probably bring in quite a lot more customers. Though, looking out at the packed tables, Boromir figured that there were enough customers as it were. He saw a hand fly up, and went to go help them with their order.

The girl's eyes widened as she saw him, and she immediately looked down and began to mutter things under her breath. Her friends made it incredibly obvious that the girl liked Boromir in the like like fashion. Boromir got all of their orders, and gave the girl a small smile, "And you?"

She blushed heavily, before she muttered in a slight German accent, "Um... one green tea...please..."

"Of course," Boromir replied, before he whisked away. He heard the girl's friends laughing as he went back to the counter and began to make the requested drinks. Pippin was working the espresso machine, and gave Boromir a large smirk.

"Are you going to ask her out?" Pippin demanded.

"What?"

"That girl; she totally likes you," Pippin said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "And she's really pretty. You should go for it. I don't think I've ever heard you speak of a girlfriend."

"That's because I've never had one, and I don't want one," Boromir told him as he finished steeping the tea. If Pippin's eyebrows rose any higher, they would go off of his forehead and start tap dancing on his head.

"Are you gay?" Pippin asked, and Boromir almost spilled the tea he was currently making.

"I am about as gay as Legolas is straight," Boromir told Pippin firmly.

From the kitchens, there was a loud, "JUST BECAUSE I BAKE, DOES NOT MEAN I AM GAY, I DO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU KNOW!" from Legolas, causing Boromir, Aragorn and Pippin to start snorting into the drinks they were making.

"Fine, I am about as gay as Gandalf is straight," Boromir reworded, a chuckle in his voice. He was rewarded with a small chuckle, from Gandalf no less, who had come to see what all of the yelling had been about. Boromir gave a sheepish smile to his employer, but Gandalf merely waved him off. It was incredibly obvious that Gandalf was indeed a homosexual* since he had a husband.

Once Gandalf had disappeared into his office, Pippin whispered, "Why don't you want a girlfriend?"

"They seem like a lot of work, and I don't really have the time to deal with one," Boromir admitted, and Pippin broke almost into hysterics at how sincere Boromir's tone had been. Boromir, however, just rolled his eyes and went back to the table to serve the drinks he had made.

The girl was still a blushing mess when he turned around and Boromir hadn't the heart to tell her that he wasn't interested. He had seen how crestfallen his brother had looked every time Eowyn didn't acknowledge his presence, and Boromir didn't want to break the girl's, whose name he didn't even know, heart. He tried not to feel guilty as he saw that she had left him an incredibly large tip when her group of friends left.

It was the fifth hour in Boromir's eight-hour shift (he often got those on Tuesdays since he had no classes then), when his younger brother walked in. Faramir had just started off in university, and was doing relatively well in his courses. Boromir was incredibly proud of his younger brother, despite the fact that his father seemed to be spiteful about the fact that Faramir had not chosen to go into politics like Denethor, and Boromir, had.

Boromir did not mind that Faramir wanted to be a teacher, particularly an English teacher for high school students Though Boromir never really cared about the metaphorical resonance in the countless novels, poems and short stories that Faramir read, Boromir loved how passionate his brother was about it, and enjoyed just letting Faramir talk on and on about it.

"Hello, stranger, how can I help you?" Boromir asked, and Faramir gave a small snort.

"I was hoping that I could find my brother, but instead I wander upon his doppelgänger. Is there any possible way for me to speak to my brother?" Faramir responded.

"Let me check in the back," Boromir told him before he turned and disappeared behind the 'STAFF ONLY' door. He waited a couple of seconds before he walked back into the café. Faramir had taken up a seat, and already had a coffee. Pippin, who was in the dying minutes of his shift, was talking to Faramir.

"I'm sorry," Boromir said to Faramir, "I could not find Boromir back there. Can I leave a message?"

Faramir rolled his eyes, and Pippin looked at Boromir as if he thought the older man was somewhat insane, before the clock ticked, and Pippin slowly inched into the change room to get to his class.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Boromir asked. Faramir took a sip of his coffee, and had a nervous look in his eye. Boromir immediately knew that he was going to be talking about Eowyn. "Eowyn's next in-town soccer game is in two weeks. Do you want to come see it with me?"

"Yes," Faramir said bluntly, before he gave a sigh, "Boromir, how do I make her like me?"

Boromir stared at his little brother. Boromir, the man who had never had a girlfriend and was not planning to have one anytime soon; Boromir, who had no romantic experience apart from the chick flicks he had been dragged to by his mother when he was younger; Boromir, who hadn't picked up a single romance novel in his life, now had to give his brother romantic advice. He supposed that 'I don't know' wasn't a sufficient answer.

"Talk about what you like," Boromir said what first came to mind. It was what he liked to see when talking to a person, and he thought that it made his brother seem like a much more interesting person.

"But she's a soccer player, Boromir! She can't possibly like novels, and English, and teaching," Faramir said exasperatedly. "Maybe I'm just doting upon the wrong girl."

"Hey, you never know, Faramir. She wants to become a veterinarian, maybe she has a love of books, too, but never has the opportunity to talk about them," Boromir shrugged, "And you are definitely not doting upon the wrong girl, Faramir. She'll come around eventually."

"You sure?" Faramir looked at his brother before he took a sip of his coffee.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Boromir responded.

"Yes," Faramir retorted without a second's pause.

"About what?" Boromir demanded.

"You told me that I would die if I cracked my knuckles twenty times in my life," Faramir recalled, and Boromir gave a small laugh.

"Okay, maybe I did lie to you about that, but I wouldn't lie to you about something like this," Boromir replied, "Trust me, Faramir, she'll see you for what you are and she'll love you."

Faramir could only smile at his older brother, before Boromir saw a hand flash in the air.

"Well, duty calls," Boromir told Faramir, "Enjoy your coffee, and don't you dare forget about the plans we made for Eowyn's soccer game."

"Of course not," Faramir smiled, before he finished his coffee and made to leave. Boromir smiled at his brother's retreating back and hoped to whatever was holy that Eowyn would like his little brother in return, because Boromir had no wise words of wisdom to help his brother if his heart got broken.

*Since Ian McKellen is a homosexual, I decided that Gandalf should be too, seeing as this is modern day. Also, I live in Canada, so people of the same sex can marry.

Thanks to KFinance, Gracie, mngirl, Nyla Evergale, Guest, and Xx-Jigoku-no-Hana-xX for reviewing! Thanks to katnor, RaphaelGirl14, Bellanee chan, Red Pen Ninja, and Singing Moon for favouriting/subscribing!

Sorry for such a late update. I was going to finish this earlier, but I had a lot of school work, and a field hockey tournament at which I got a concussion and found that looking at screens made my head hurt.

Question: Who do you think Gandalf's husband is?