Radio check, over
(Rachel)
I was on a birthday's mission. Santana and I would turn 21: the date that we were officially marked as adult and allowed us to legally do anything (and be blamed for all of it). To me, it meant much more than that. Was the date that I should fulfill an agreement I made with daddy when I was just nine years old. For a long time, I forgot the deal, but with the proximity of this birthday and because daddy was no longer between us, these story wouldn't leave my mind.
I know most people that turns 21 make a big birthday party with friends and get drunk in some pub: much like what happened with Quinn. That was the desired cliché, but not for me. My birthday would be special in every way because it would be a treasure hunt. For this, my sister's presence was essential. She had no idea what I wanted to do and complained like hell when I showed her two plane tickets to Portland and spent a week doing intense emotional blackmail.
Santana wanted the cliché. She dreamed this party since she was 13. Of course at the head of a pre-teen (with some later modifications), the party would be in Las Vegas with Brittany and all the friends she thought that was important at that time. I wouldn't be part of the celebration because 13 years old Santana considered me boring, annoying, big mouth and undesirable. Eight years later, I could only cut the undesirable in the concept that my sister got about me. She still calls me big mouth and says that I'm boring and annoying.
I jumped for joy on Thursday morning when I saw Santana's suitcase ready to go to the airport. Our blood and genetic ties always spoke louder.
"Ok, Frodo, I hope you have a great plan for this trip, although I don't know what possibly we will do in Oregon with so many interesting other places to go in the west coast. We could have gone to San Francisco or Los Angeles, or Vegas! Even Seattle was more appealing. But no, you chose Oregon. So, now, I want to know why."
"I'll tell you when we go there." I said humming.
"Why so much mystery?" Santana was restless.
"I won't spoil the surprise." I chanted again.
"I hate you, Rachel Barbra Berry-Lopez." She crossed her arms. "You're the most annoying person in the world. How is that humanly possible? What is the problem you tell me the reason to drag me to the end of the world?"
"If I remember well, you liked the end of the world once."
"Yeah, I was about eight years old..."
"Nine." I fix quickly.
"Whatever. I was a kid when we went there and we had fun in summer. Not in the cold winter on the eve of our 21th birthday."
"Oregon is warmer than New York. And it has volcanoes."
"Hopefully, this trip is really important, Rachel Barbra Berry-Lopez, for the sake of your physical integrity!"
I could treat back saying her full name too, but Santana hated her middle name and this could leave her even more nervous. It was good enough that she decided to accompany me without I had to handcuff her or something along those lines.
The taxi didn't take much time to the airport. I didn't let Quinn go there because she was committed on making this music video and I didn't want disrupt her. It was an odd episode for us because of Monica's involvement. But I had to trust Quinn and believe that she would maintain a purely professional relationship. It's part of exercising confidence in rebuilding our relationship. It wasn't easy, tough.
What I knew was that the crew was formed and filming would begin. Quinn would only have to lost a day at Bad Things: but she would pay this day off working at Christmas' eve and at new year's eve. Again, she couldn't go to Lima. Me neither. Santana would spend the holydays with our parents and family, but I had commitments that made me stay in New York. Glad I had Quinn beside me.
Our flight was uneventful. Santana spent almost the entire trip with her eyes glued to the iPad screen: she was testing some app developed by Andrew in partnership with another boy. She liked to test the products in which she invested and was starting to make some money with them. She seemed amused by that. Andrew will be great in this tech world. Then, Santana saw some short videos and checked her social networks. In short, she didn't say anything to me during the flight. I could only resign myself and read some of the scripts that Josh sent me for analysis. There is a reasonable script for an indie movie and another one full of nudity and sex.
Some directors thinks that explore the human body is art in cinema. Not always. I love 'Blue Is The Warmest Color', but I hate all the sex in 'Wolf of Wall Street'. People say great things about 'Nymphomaniac', but it's just Lars Von Trier trying to repeat 'L'empire Des Sens'. Some of sex scenes in 'Gils' and 'Game of Thrones' were disturbing, but the sex scenes in Slings and Arrows were restrained and well built. There was a huge gap between making porn and an art exploring sex. Anyway, I won't accept these movies. The first one would be film during Slings and Arrows' second season, and I won't accept movies with too much and unnecessary sex scenes. Some people think that just because I was full naked in scene once in Slings and Arrows, I would do it every time. It's not like that.
I heard the signal to put on the belt and the stewardess asked Santana and the other passengers to turn off electronic devices. The plane landed well despite the cold and some snow. We went immediately to the hotel just to pass the night.
"Now we landed, will you tell me?" Santana insisted.
"No, I won't. Not now. It's a surprise." I said firmly after we left our bags in our room. "Let's get a cab. I need to rent a car so we can hit the road tomorrow morning. The sooner, the better."
"Tomorrow is our anniversary, Rachel! 21 years old! It must have some nice pubs here in Portland. I heard the beer is fantastic."
"You can get drunk today. But know that you will drive tomorrow!"
"Driving to where?"
"Tomorrow I'll tell you."
Santana groaned for the umpteenth time. My plans were specific and timed inclusive. We rented a nice car and went to the grocery shop to buy snacks, fresh water and juice boxes. Santana had dinner at our hotel and didn't go out at all, keeping me company in the room. Or nearly so. Her mood was very bad and she spent the whole time in front of television or on her phone, mumbling things I couldn't hear clearly as I packed our things and think positive. It would be worthwhile.
…
My cell phone rang at six in the morning. It was still dark, but it was the old habit I kept from daddy whenever we prepared to travel by car: wake up early, before sunrise, put things in the car, eat breakfast and hit the road. Daddy loved the open environment, nature, forests and car trips. Santana also loved it, but that didn't mean she grumbled less. I jumped on my sister in the next bed and started shaking her.
"Santy! Hey, guess what? Today is our birthday!" The cold just made me go under her blankets and I took the opportunity to hold her tight.
"I will kill you!" She growled loudly. Sometimes I was amazed at how much she wanted to end my life. If I was taking her will literally, I would have to have more lives than a cat.
"We have to go. Then get ready!" I gave a kiss on her cheek still under the covers and stood up, pulling all the covers with me. I heard a muffled scream in horror.
"Why you gotta be like this? If only have a sunny warm day out there to enjoy!" She shouted. "But no! It's the damn Oregon, with its damned pine forests during the damned winter."
"Officially, it's still fall." I had to hold back my laughter when I heard her scream of agony.
I was the first to use the bathroom. Santana was still curled up on the bed, struggling to wake up. It took almost a hour to her got up and get ready and another half hour to eat some breakfast before hitting the road.
"Where, Rachel?" Santana said while drinking one sip of the coffee we bought at Starbucks. "Now you have to tell me."
"Bend." I was checking the GPS from my phone. "We'll get the highway and down to Albany, and from there take the 20. There's no mystery."
"What's special about Bend? I mean, we were there once when we were about 10 years old?"
"When we were nine years old, Santana. Don't you really remember when we were here?"
"One of the few things I remember from this trip was that you almost drowned in the river and daddy had to get you out of the water. From there you developed this fear to be in any portion of water that goes deeper than the level of your knees. Outside your almost death experience, I see no reason to be back to Oregon."
"I'll explain when we arrive in Bend. But believe me when I said this trip is important for both of us. Trust me!"
The highway No. 5 was a big line and in just over two hours of travel we arrived in Albany, but I didn't stop to sightsee it. Our purpose was to find a bathroom and have a quick snack. We found a small grocery shop selling beautiful peaches. I bought some and took one to savor. The rest, I lodged in the small cooler with the juices and water. We took the road from Albany to Bend. I didn't remember the road itself, but because of the mountainous region, I took a pill to prevent motion sickness. Santana may have a damaged stomach, but she never got sick on our road trips, except that one this year, when she traveled with a hangover.
It was Santana's musical selection that reigned on the car stereo. For some reason, she was going through a phase where only listened to the classics like Beatles, Stones, Birds, The Allman Brothers Band and Jimi Hendrix. I can say that soundtrack's trip was one of the best. Two more hours and we arrived at the resort/camping in Bend, exactly the same one we were years before. In summer, the place offered several activities such as hiking, canoeing and adventure sports. In winter, it was a comfortable hotel between Bend and Mount Bachelor for those who wanted to enjoy skiing. If looks could kill someone, Santana would have killed me countless times, but I had my reasons for choosing that resort.
"Good afternoon." Said the receptionist as we entered the resort's lobby. It was the largest building of the place and seemed reformed. The lobby and reception looked brand new and, as I recall, there were some facilities there, like restaurant, games room, gym, a small shop, place to rent equipment. The upper floors had rooms and apartments for those who didn't like cabins. There weren't many guests around, but the winter sports season had barely just begun. "I'm Rachel Berry-Lopez and I booked a cabin."
"Of course!" The girl looked at the computer. "Berry-Lopez… yes, it's here miss, you booked a cabin with two beds for three days."
"That's correct." I showed my documentation to check in.
Another girl followed me and asked Santana to put the car in the right place in the garage of our cabin and quickly showed the facilities. It was a simple place with a bedroom with two single beds as it was the booking request, a small living room with kitchen facilities, bathroom with hot water, cable TV, wi-fi, heater, and fireplace.
"The restaurant in our main building is open until nine p.m. If you want to eat something after this time, our room service is available until midnight. As the contract said, we offer breakfast to our guests from seven to 10 am. The restaurant is back commercially functional after this time to serve dishes a la carte. Shall I remember that activities in the river are suspended during the winter and the hiking trail is not recommended after two p.m. this time of year, unless you know this area very well. Any equipment that you need to do the available activities can be rented at the headquarters. Our guides also will be available in the morning and whenever you can schedule classes like skiing or snowboarding. Our reception works 24 for any emergency."
"Thank you."
"I don't want to importune or be inconvenient, but can I ask something?"
"Of course!"
"Aren't you Kate from 'Slings and Arrows'?" I nodded and the girl opened a huge smile. "I think you're fabulous. I was excited when I read that the show was renewed."
"Thank you. I'm honored that you liked the story."
"Can I have your autograph and take a photo..." She looked behind me, calling my attention. Santana was practically growling. "... is she okay?"
"Don't worry about my sister." I said as we took the selfie and she left us alone then.
I liked the space. I didn't remember the details of the cabin we stayed in last time, but it was one of the largest for full families. I had no reason to rent one of those when there was only me and Santana. We get one of the smallest, those that used to be occupied by couples. It was more than enough. Maybe I would take Quinn for a trip in such a place someday. I know that wasn't her style, and not as mine to tell the truth, but it might as well be romantic.
"I don't believe I'll be spending my 21st birthday in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with you!" Santana screamed in frustration and anger. I didn't care. I had things to do.
"Not in the middle of nowhere and Bend is bigger than Lima."
I grabbed a coat and went to the service place to borrow a shovel. I think the guy was afraid I want to kill somebody and bury the body there. So he hesitated. But I used my persuasive power, after all, I was an actress, and he gave me a tool asking for the maximum of discretion because it was a favor he was doing to me. If the manager knew, he would be fired. He shouldn't worry. So I went back in the cabin and practically dragged my sister along near the forest.
"Are you going to plant a pine?" She mocked me as we entered the small forest. The luck is that, despite improvements, the resort has preserved many things, including that part of the forest that interested me particularly.
"You'll see. Now help me find a crooked tree trunk that resembles the number four."
"You say that one?" Santana pointed exactly to the tree I wanted. It was exactly like I remembered.
I celebrated! It was a risk to go there just to find out that my tree was gone. I would be devastated.
Daddy, papi, Santana and I made a holiday trip in Oregon years ago. We visited Portland and several other towns with something interesting to see until the Crater Lake. We spent 15 days traveling the state by car. I remember that Daddy wanted to do something different and suggested a trip of this nature in some state of our own country. The initial plan was go to the Grand Canyon. I don't know why it didn't work and we ended up in Oregon.
I've never been attached to play sports in rivers, hiking trails and all these things connected to nature. Daddy and Santana loved to drown in forests and do all these adventurous things. At that point, I was very much like papi, who never denied being a bourgeois. As a botanist, daddy loved camping, biking trails, swimming in rivers. He guided us on the walk and taught the interesting species of plants we found along the way. Sometimes he did question games between me and my sister to see who knew more about the nature things. Santana used to win. I didn't mind. It was during these times that I would rather stay with papi, the bourgeois doctor who enjoyed the hotel facilities, like the gym and the pool. Santana was daddy's girl and I was papi's girl. Funny right? It was prove that genetics aren't that important.
We crossed the Oregon between small hotels and camps. When we arrived at Bend, we stayed at this resort because it aggregated comfort with nature activities. The next day, Santana and daddy were play at the river. It was summer and I remember that day was very hot, but the water was cold because of the thaw of the mountains. I wanted to follow them and have some fun too, and I was taking swimming lessons. Truth be told, I only crossed the pool at home with the aid of buoys while Santana already was swimming like a fish.
So that day, I saw Santana playing with daddy across the river. They were dueling with sticks, like swordsmen. Santana was all wet at her bikini, they were having so much fun and I just wanted to be with them. So I tried to cross the river while papi was talking with some guy. I slipped in the mud stone and fell into the part where the river was deeper. I wasn't prepared for this situation and I couldn't react. I remember the feeling of fighting the water, not being able to breathe and I only see the bright reflection of the sun between the trees. I was sure I would die until someone caught me: daddy saved me and pulled me out the water. Papi ran and started the rescue procedures until I threw the water up. As a doctor, he carried me until the small ward at the resort and made his exams. I was ok, I just swallowed a little water. Still, papi shouted at me, that I should never get close to the river without a buoy and without him or daddy.
It was horrible. I cried the rest of the day so ashamed I was. In the late afternoon, daddy had an idea to cheer me up. He made a time capsule with treasures. So we took our valuables and rob others of papi and Santana. We wrote letters and put everything in a plastic case, then we put it in a plastic box to then, pack it in a plastic bag. We went the forest near our cabin as great adventurers and found a peculiar tree in shape of the number 4. It was perfect to mark the location of our capsule.
"So that's what you're looking for?" Santana said after I told the story while we were trying to dig the approximate location. "A buried box with old stuffs?"
"It's a time capsule and I should rescue it when I turned 21. Because it would be my first time as an adult and it was the perfect moment to remember the good things I did as kid and how much I had grown. Daddy said it would be something we should do together. He made this promise but if he couldn't come here for whatever reason, then I should attend in the company of my charming prince to unearth the treasures. Well, in my case, the prince is actually a charming princess who would hate be here a lot. Now that daddy broke his promise, so I thought of you. Which other person in this world I would want here to unearth this treasure but my sister?"
"Daddy always had those silly stories of princes and princesses." Santana wiped her eyes and took the shovel. She was way better managing this tool than I. "You wanted to live in castles wondering when you would meet your prince and I always wanted to be the knight who fought against dragons." She began to dig.
Then she bumped into an object and started trying to get it out by hand. I promptly helped. I could hardly believe it was our time capsule. We pull the box out the ground. It was perfect, still wrapped neatly with all black plastic bag we involved it. Santana and I went back to the cabin immediately. It was cold, dark and was snowing. Already in the safety and warmth of our shelter with heaters on full operation, we opened my time capsule and begin to remember.
"So here were my X-Files cards, and my Snoopy's Beatles Classiks on Toys!" Santana grinned. "I loved this CD. Will it still play?" She inserted it into her computer and to our surprise, yes, the CD still worked. We celebrate. While appreciating the songs, we continue to explore the capsule. [A.N. Please, go to Youtube and search this album. Read this fic from this part listening Here Comes The Sun]
The capsule had a small teddy bear that I called Pibu, a drawing I did of my family, papi's Rolling Stones mouth keychain, daddy's Jamaican bracelet he loved, Santana's rubik's (she can solve it, I can't), and my statue of Liberty keychain that papi gave to me when he returned to New York after a medical congress. I promised conquer that city. And also it had mine and daddy's hand-written letters. I opened it carefully, because the paper was fragile.
"Rachel from the future.
Radio check over!
If you are reading this letter, I suppose it's around 2015 and you already are 21 years old. Oh my G'd, you must be an exuberant woman. I hope you've already found your charming prince, your person, the one who likes musicals and makes you deeply happy. Better this prince treats you with love, one as big as mine. You deserve no less than that.
I must be sad and happy right now. Sad because it means my little princess grew up contradicting all fervent prayers that parents make every night so that you kids stay kids, like Peter Pan. And happy because G'd didn't listen to me and you became a beautiful young adult. I hope you're living your life sure of your goals and fighting fair to reach each.
Please, do me a favor and send the greetings from this Hiram to other people who I love so much: Santana and Juan. Santana must be grown, beautiful. Perhaps, she's an intrepid adventurer of the seven seas. Didn't she want to be a pirate to slayer dragons? I'm not sure if there are dragons in 2015, but with this crazy genetic manipulation, maybe the present scientists created one for Santana's delight. May G'd keep this good spirit in your sister.
Juan should already be the chief surgeon of the hospital by 2015 and discovered the cure of diabetes. I imagine Hiram from future (your present) as an old fool, doing all your desires and psychologically preparing myself to spoil all my grandchildren. Yes, because this Hiram knows very well that your Hiram will dis-educate your future kids with so many treats and love.
I will take the time and check out some things I've been thinking. Rachel from the future, please helps your daddy to put a sign right in front of the items. I must not see very well at this point:
- Rachel learned to swim;
- Santana learned that the toaster isn't made to melt cheese;
- Rachel learned the football rules;
- Santana didn't get lost on an expedition in the Amazon rainforest;
- Rachel is convinced that Liza is more interesting than Barbra;
- Santana learned to appreciate a good musical;
- Rachel is happy;
- Santana is happy;
- Our family is united, despite all the hiccups that always happen.
You must be wondering why I haven't mentioned Broadway. Because what interests me most is your happiness, no matter where or what you are doing at the moment. Live your life, my princes.
My princesses, don't be afraid to face the horizon. Life is precious and interesting even in difficulty times. You may disagree with your old man sometime, but I insist: trust in G'd and your instincts when things are bad. Everything happens for a reason. We are in this world to also overcome adversity and learn with it to be a better person.
If for some reason I'm no longer at yours side, if G'd took me earlier, just know that I still love you with all my heart. And promise me to never forget to put a smile on your face and laugh. The world is better when you do it.
May G'd protect all your ways.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
Hiram Joel Berry
Out.
Bend, OR, July 16, 2004"
My vision was blurry and I was sobbing from crying. Santana hugged me and cuddled me against her body. We stayed quiet.
…
(Santana)
I don't remember many details of the first time I came here. Daddy said that Oregon was one of the most interesting states and the Crater Lake was considered one of the most beautiful places in the world and also one of the most atypical. Papi and daddy had this agreement to take turns on the choices of where we were spending our summer's vacation. That year was daddy who planned the vacation and decided to drag papi for an adventurous place. Not that papi disliked sports: he played football in high school and two seasons for the Buckeyes before leaving the field to focus on academics because he wanted to be a doctor. He never stopped exercising, but he enjoys making it at a gym or running at some city park (he is the reason Shelby also goes to the gym and does pilates).
Daddy used to say the best thing that happened to him when he moved to Cleveland was the parks and reservations. As a teenager, he used to explore all of them with his friends. He developed his taste for camps and hiking. It was in a camp with friends that he gave his first kiss on the mouth in a friend: the one who would be his secret boyfriend for a year. He lost this group of friends later because of these dramas about sexuality, but kept close to the nature. No wonder he became a botanist. Daddy was my best friend and we enjoyed hiking and camping together until I was 13: that's the age I stopped accompanying him. I became a teenager and started worrying more about my appearance, boys and, secretly, Brittany. Being with my daddy wasn't cool anymore. Oh God, teenagers are really stupid.
When Rachel dragged me here without telling me the reason, I was so fucking angry. My plan was to have a devastating 21st birthday party with all my friends. At first I thought I'd celebrate in Vegas, but then I had a little hipster phase and thought I'd enjoy myself in a jazz club. Then, I wanted just get drunk at a party. However, I spent my birthday in a cabin in Oregon with my sister. Do you know what? It was the best birthday gift she could possibly give to me. I think I read daddy's letter 50 times. I could feel so much love there. His love.
I looked toward the convenience store near the panoramic view place in Bend. Rachel was still there buying who knows what. But I wasn't going after her. Instead, the grandeur red desert ahead captured my attention. I thought about my life, my sister, my family. I went through some hard times: both professional and personal stuffs: Mr. Weiz, Brittany, Rachel broking up with Quinn, the beginning of Rock'n'Pano. But also happened great things and I was glad for them. It was like daddy told on his letter: everything happens for a reason and everything serves to our improvement as person.
"Beer?" Rachel offered me a bottle. "It's just one. I showed my I.D and bought it. I no longer need my false identity or ask someone else to do it for me, nor I have to pay 'extra tax' in cash for it!"
"How exciting!" I rolled my eyes. "I propose a toast." Rachel looked at me puzzled. "To daddy. That old Berry should be laughing a lot in heaven at our expense."
"That's true. And I extend this toast to us, the Berry-Lopez sisters. Our partnership and complicity is forever no matter what happens in our lives. And I also wanted to toast to you, Santy, who has been my rock these last years."
"You bet I am!" We smiled and took a sip.
I was still very emotional and tears dropped in my eyes for the umpteenth time since I read the letter. Rachel kissed my cheek and hugged me. So I took another sip looking to that beautiful red desert. The funny thing about that point was that if looked to the opposite side, I would see white and imposing mountains. So freaking beautiful.
"You should take the letter and show to papi." Rachel suggested.
"But it's yours. Don't you think you should show it yourself?"
"The one who will spend Christmas in Lima is you, Santy. You should take the letter. Think about how zaide and bubbee will be happy."
"I don't know. I don't want to kill them…"
"Come on, they aren't that fragile."
"Meanwhile you will fly to New York and celebrate the holidays with the love of your life." I knew Rachel had a lot of commitments at the end of the year, but I liked to tease her.
"Work my ass off and stay with Quinn? Not bad, don't you think?"
"Sometimes, you are too sappy. Just stay away from my bedroom."
"It's not like that. I'm glad that Quinn and I are taking things slow this time. It includes a more restrained sex life."
"You're too complicated, Rachel Berry-Lopez."
"Look who's talking! What about you and Johnny? You had a lunch and nothing?"
"We are taking things slow." Rachel laughed load.
"Now, who is complicated?"
"Johnny is family, unlike you and Quinn when you stated dating. It's different."
"True. Still, if you ask my opinion: don't give up so easily and so soon. If Johnny is your person instead of Brittany, don't give up. And don't be afraid. If something goes wrong, I'll be there for you."
"He is not very willing to talk about relationship and I won't kiss him unless he initiates it."
"My sixth sense says this won't take longer to happening."
"Really? Your sixth sense assures that all?"
"Do you still doubt after all these years?"
We let out a laugh and hugged one more time.
"I love you Ray. Thank you for bringing me to the best birthday party ever!" I whispered close to my sister's ear.
We took the road back to Cleveland. A gentle snow fell on the windshield and "In My Life" played on the radio. Farewell youth. Hello adulthood.
"Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them,
In my life I'll love you more.
In my life I'll love you more."
THE END