A/N - Whew, this chapter whooped my ass.

Well, until I FUCKING JOHN CENA THIS SHIT AND GOT IT DONE ANYWAY.

Yeah. I'm just a bit proud of myself. Can't you tell.

Sometimes you just gotta give yourself a healthy ass ego stroke. Or a couple. Vigerously. In quick sessions.

I'm done.

Hope ya like it!

DISCLAIMER- I do not own Naruto

Songs used for this chapter - (LuQus - Black & Blue) & (LuQuS - I'll Need You)

That game night was... a test.

Everything within me felt strained and stressed to the breaking point, but I guess the only thing that helped me push past that was at the end of the day, I knew what my solution was. For the first time, I knew how I was going move forward. So I didn't feel as trapped. As suffocated.

As lost.

I manged to smile and laugh with all of my friends, but when I found a quiet point, where no one was focused on me, where they were all talking amongst themselves, I paid all my attention to my drinks. Because when my own focus wanted to wander, alcohol always managed to keep me grounded. Managed to stop me. To bring to light everything I felt rather than everything I wanted to feel.

So yeah, I played some Uno with them. I cracked jokes with Naruto and Sasuke, and even jabbed Temari for how nice of a person she was for taking the fall for me. But as I chugged my beers, deep down all I could think of was how ready I was to leave this town.

How I was done feeling as if I were chasing after a light that gotten further with each and every step I took.

Yeah... right then and there, I was done playing trapped. Right then and there, I had all the freedom in the god damn world. And because of it, I felt lighter on my feet. For the first time in this joke of a life, it actually felt humorous.

But the only thing funny was how I thought for a second I was in control…

That false sense of high got in my head. Made me believe who I was and what I did was up to me. And I should have known better than to even consider that bullshit in the first place.

Because fuck man... no matter how hard I tried that summer, I just couldn't break away from it all.

As Temari went to get the next game from her closet, and as Sasuke and Naruto chattered about who knows what, I found a time to slip away. I went to the porch, wandered towards one of Temari's lawn chairs, and sat there. I stared ahead at nothing particular, leaned back, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. And with each drag, the stress I felt seemed to melt away. With each breath, it almost felt as if I were chipping away my chain bit by bit.

I saved smoking for special occasions. I kept away from it for a reason, because being an athlete and smoking was a conundrum I never bothered to break. But tonight, I needed it. When drinks were involved, my philosophies meant less and less. The important things to me became nothing more but a yearn of a principle I wished to uphold.

But really, what did it matter?

Sports were just as superficial as me holding a conversation tonight.

So I stared ahead, mind numb with static and nothingness as Ino wandered out of the back door. Maybe it was my buzz that had me not bothering to hide my low key habit; maybe it was the same attitude I had all night with her that forced me to pretend she didn't exist, but all the same I didn't skip a beat with bringing the cigarette towards my lips when I heard the door open.

I didn't care.

And as of right then, the only thought in my mind was how I wished I never had.

She sat in the chair next to me in silence, but her presence was so overwhelming I couldn't force myself to ignore it. Even as I smoked, I could feel her. Her lingering stare. That quiet nervous bite of her lip she did whenever she didn't know what to say. Just with her so close, her scratches on my back, which were now a week old, seemed to spark with a burn and ache down my spine.

Here I was believing I was in control of my life.

Yet there I was with an out of control urge to have her back against the wall while I demanded for her to stop forcing us to pretend nothing happened.

I knew what to do? I knew of a way out? I was charge of my life?

Yeah man… my life just got funnier and funnier with the jokes I kept telling myself.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I stood up from my chair. I stomped my cigarette out and glanced at the way she was staring at her fingers. How she was wringing them raw in silence with her knees brought to her chest as she continued to sit in her chair.

Refusing to feel a thing, I took a step towards her and grabbed her hands with mine. Her eyes flickered up to me in an almost pleading way, and out of reaction I forced a smile.

Strange. If she were a stranger I would call my feelings towards her close to the brink of hate.

But she was my best friend, and all I could do was hate myself.

"Wanted to keep me company outside?" I asked, giving her an excuse of why she was here in the first place. Knowing she was struggling to get whatever she wanted to say out, and how now she wouldn't have to.

Her nod brought another smile to my lips, a real one with a twinge of misery. Tugging her to stand, I rustled her hair as I teased, "Well I'm done now, nerd. Are you going to come inside with me now?"

She bit her lip with hesitation, but nodded a second afterwards. Scratching her scalp one last time, I muttered let's go before tugging her along.

Our fingers stayed laced together until we were back in Temari's room. We didn't break the contact even after we sat down. And as the night went on with more and more beer, I found myself tugging her to sit between my legs as we were all circled on the floor. I rested my chin on her shoulder and tightened my arms around her waist with our fingers still intertwined.

And we played our games just like that.

That night and for the rest of the summer.

X

When everyone went to bed one by one, it seemed like the restless side of me that was ready to run away from it all kept me up until late. Despite my game in the morning, I lingered while everyone drifted to sleep. I laid on the floor while staring at the ceiling, arms tucked under my head as I thought of nothing. Not a single trace of activity within my usual hyper active mind.

Nothing but a nice swaying buzz that I was hoping would rock me to sleep.

Yet there I was. Hours into everyone's snoring. Wide awake.

Sighing I tried to shut my eyes again, but the comforting sways turned into a sickening spin the second I closed them. For a moment I tried to push past the current, only to open my eyes in defeat a few seconds later.

Maybe I should have slowed down in the drinks…

Sighing I settled with staring away aimlessly.

In the midst of silent struggle I heard a shift from the bed. My eyes slipped over to where Temari and Ino should be sleeping to see a pair of glowing crystal blue eyes hovering in the dark.

I frowned slightly when they shifted and left the bed.

Naruto and Sasuke were on the floor with me, but spread to different corners; leaving me in the middle. We usually had this sleeping arrangement whenever we were all staying the night at Temari's house, but on more than one occasion Ino would slip from the bed to sleep with me on the floor.

I just didn't imagine this would be one of them.

She lifted the blanket and crawled next to me. Her eyes avoided mine up until the moment where she was slowly laying down at my side, curling her head to rest on my shoulder. I shifted my arm from underneath me and wrapped it around her, tugging her close.

"You can't sleep?" She asked barely above a whisper.

I shook my head, eyes staring at the ceiling.

She brushed the brim of her nose across my jaw before I felt her hand move from my stomach and drag upward. Soon, her fingers were brushing across my hair as I eased into the soothing way she scratched my scalp.

Almost immediately, I felt drowsy.

Feeling myself melt onto the carpet floor, I let out a sigh and brushed my cheek across her as I mumbled, "Is that why you came down here with me?"

"Yeah… your breathing was off. You kept sighing…"

I hummed as my eyes felt heavy and shut on their own. This time, the overwhelming crashing current was barely noticeable. Amazing how when she was so close she could either put me completely on edge or drastically calm me down. Just her warmth relaxed me.

"Sakura…"

My eyes opened and wandered down to her, but hers stared down at the blanket as she tucked her chin. "Hm?"

At the sound, her fingers that were still rustling my hair flinched with a pause. Frowning, I watched her quiet figure before reaching for her hand and dragging it with me to my chest. Lacing our fingers together, I mumbled, "Come on. Let's go to sleep."

She curled more into me but didn't respond. Running my thumb across hers, I lifted our hands to my lips and kissed her knuckle once, shifting more into her as I sighed and shut my eyes again.

The silence that followed drifted me just a little further into sleep before I heard her whispering my name again.

This time almost in a quiet plea.

My heart skipped a beat just at the sound and I struggled to focus as I tightened my already shut eyes. "What's wrong, Ino?"

"Don't go to sleep yet," she answered quietly.

"Mm, what do you want me to do then?" I hummed tiredly.

"I don't know…"

"You can't sleep either?" I asked as I forced my eyes open. At her shrug, I sighed, "Well what do you think will help you fall asleep?"

Ino shrugged again, and I sighed once more in return but a tired smile pulled my lips. I liked her like this, almost needy and dependent on me. Like everything almost reset to when we were in middle school, to how we were back in the past when it seemed like just the two of us. The late night slumber parties where she held onto me as we slept. Whispering how she wasn't tired. Begging me to rub her back as she tried to sleep.

But things were so much different now. As I shifted her more on top of me, my hand slipping under the blanket to dip under her shirt, I couldn't force the feelings I felt away. As my nails traveled across her skin, all I could focus on was how she shivered at my very touch, curling her now free hand into my shirt as she tried to pull herself closer.

Christ I didn't have the strength. I don't think I ever had.

Back in middle school, I didn't have feelings to fight against. Now, after graduation of senior year, I struggled against the proximity of her breathing and how close it was to my ear.

My eyes shut tight as I tried to focus, but my lips parted as I practically croaked out, "Ino... I'm drunk..."

Yet, despite what I felt was an obvious warning, she brushed her lips across my neck as she hid further from the world, whispering, "Me too..."

This slipping grip. This lack of control I always felt when it came to my life, it wasn't something I could fight against. Maybe if I had some time, some experience, some way to become numb to it all, but none of that existed for me. What existed was Ino.

And how she was impossible to escape, even if I thought I was a step closer to.

My cheek brushed against her again, this time with me whispering for her to stop hiding. Coaxing her with my words, admitting softly that I wanted to stop her little whines of distress, I pressed my forehead against hers when she finally obeyed. My nails continued to carefully scrape across her back as she bit her lip hard with her eyes shut tight,.

The brim of my nose dragged across hers as I watched her.

Her fingers curled more into my shirt as I mumbled for her to look at me.

She refused, yet parted her lips when mine ran too close. And I couldn't stop myself as I brushed across hers and proceeded to have no self control when she kissed me slowly.

There I was preaching just hours ago that I was going to do everything to get away and center myself.

Yet here I was hours later shifting her more on top of me while moving to suck her neck.

She straddled my hips and sucked in a breath as I continued to attempt to draw blood. But the instant she whimpered for me to stop, to not leave a mark, mine ran cold.

At my sudden stillness, she pulled away and called out in a quiet broken tone, "Sakura..."

I set my jaw and bit out, "Get off, Ino."

Her nails dug into my skin in protest, but after a full second of her looking me straight in the eyes, she shifted away.

And with my new freedom, I stood up and left the room.

My shaking fist racked through my hair as soon as I closed the door behind me. I stood in the hallway at a complete fucking loss in the dark. My heart was hammering, a mixture of the excitement I just felt shattering into sheer anger. My entire body vibrated with the frustration.

What in the fuck was I doing man.

How in the fuck did I keep blindly falling into these small ass traps along the way.

Taking in a unsteady short breath, I went downstairs and out to the porch. And once again I took out a cigarette and stared at the sky. But this time, instead of not thinking at all, I forced myself to see what was in front of me and refused to run from it.

Instead confronted it. I asked myself various questions, demanding answers out of me that I usually refused to indulge.

What was it that had me so angry? What was the real reason I always woke up in the morning with a bitter taste in my mouth? Why, if I knew exactly what was going on, did I get frustrated at the mere mention of Kiba's existence?

There was more to this than my blind hate for everything around me. The bitterness I felt was the unfairness of it all. But if I were being honest, I were asking for too much in the first place.

Because right then and there, before me, was what should have been enough to satisfy what I felt so entitled to.

I wanted Ino as mine, and it always felt like she wasn't.

Yet... tonight, just like the other night, and the night of my first fuck up; If Ino wasn't in some way mine... would we have done anything that we had behind closed doors...

The sudden shouting of thoughts that were screaming within my mind suddenly halted at the question that seemed too obvious to answer, even to myself.

Here I was feeling spite over Kiba having everything I wanted... yet when he wasn't here he had completely nothing over me. Even before, when he was around, Ino wandered over to me at parties all the time, not caring whatever nonsense he was off doing.

My cigarette burned out at my fingertips as I stared ahead in disbelief.

And my eyes shot up when I saw Ino cautiously walking towards me from the back door with a bite of her lip.

I watched her intensely as she mumbled, "Come back to bed with me, please? You'll catch a cold out here."

The bitterness in my mouth, the anger in my chest, the constant frustration I felt, was all because I over thought about me and Ino when everything was already laid out in front of me.

I stood from my chair and walked towards her in one smooth motion, and without a single word I grabbed her waist and moved her back until she was pressed against the side of the house. She only had time to take in a shaky breath before my lips were on hers in a greedy need I felt within the pit of my stomach.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe it was me simply trying to find some peace of mind, but you know what?

I no longer gave a shit.

I gave a single fuck about Kiba, and I gave a third of a fuck on all this stupid shit I was pissy about until now.

I was done. I no longer cared.

And it showed by the way my hands hooked behind her knees as I lifted her up, her legs wrapping against mine. It showed by the way I sucked on her neck anyway, despite what she said earlier, because I didn't give a fuck if Kiba saw my marks or not.

Kiba wasn't here to protect what was 'his'.

Kiba wasn't here to pay close enough attention to his girl friend to keep her from wandering off.

Nah, I was here. I had Ino against the house, scratching at my back, whining out my name, pleading me for what she wanted.

Kiba was shit nothing compared to me.

And I was going to make it a point to prove that. Well, that's what I thought anyway...

Back when I was still telling myself those jokes.

Saying that I was in control.

Woop, there you have it. The chapter that thought was whopping my ass until I laid down the hands on it.

Sakura's power spike helped me out. Her not giving shit attitude gave me the strength I needed to whip this chapter out to you guys.

Hmm... not much to say. I was thinking a little bit about which direction was this going. There are still things I need to do, and it was challenging to figure out how to get there.

BUT! With this chapter, I managed to place this story EXACTLY where it needed to me. Ie: Sakura no longer giving a fuck and stepping up her game potential, which we ALL knew she had.

Bruh. Future chapters? Excited for them.

The grimy shit I'm scheming for her to pull off.

Ugh. I love it already.

So heart warming, knowing the fiery pit of destruction is so close.

Read review, tell me what you think!

Shycadet likes long walks on the beach, wine on weeknights, and warming up at the fire place, which is fueled by your tears and the debris from destruction.

Out.