***Cabello Residence, Newport Coast, CA***
Camila hadn't been out in weeks, sure she's been out to run errands and what not, but she hasn't been around people much. Today she felt okay enough to get up out of bed and support her cousin. Jason had been trying to get the brown-eyed beauty to L.A. to check out their new band during their recording sessions, but she hasn't been able to. She could hardly get out of bed without crying let alone all the way out to Los Angeles.
She wanted to let herself feel; REALLY feel. She wanted the pain to consume her because she knew that trying to suppress it would result in something more catastrophic down the line; she knew it all too well.
***Flashback 6 Years Ago***
Camila hasn't had contact with Lauren since she's been overseas; it's been a few weeks and feeling like she's been left in the dust was slowly surfacing. She tried to control her emotions, which she's always been good at, but with the green-eyed girl, control never really lasted too long; not even for the usually calm and collected Camila.
"Where the hell is Camila? She's late again." Shannon, her manger, rolled her hands into fists, visibly angry.
Camila walked into the studio late; she looked like she just rolled out of bed and had a pair of sunglasses on.
"Are you serious Camila? This is the third time you've been late this week! How the hell are we ever going to get this album in done? If YOU, the singer, aren't HERE!" Shannon was fuming and all Jason could do was look from Camila to Shannon; waiting for a world war of some sort to break out any second.
The nineteen year old slowly took off her glasses revealing tired brown eyes that have been crying and pinched the bridge of her nose as she began to chuckle.
"You know WHAT Shannon, you're right it's MY album; the fans, they want me singing, so why don't you get your head out of your ass and just shut the FUCK UP! I'm here aren't I?! I'm here!" She threw here arms up!
Shannon's mouth dropped along with Jason's; Camila has never spoken this way and they were both speechless.
"Oh second," she placed her glasses back on her face, "I'm taking the day off; I'm outta here."
"Mila!" Jason yelled but she was already halfway out the door.
He knew why she was acting the way she was.
"What about the album?" Shannon yelled while running towards the door.
Camila ignored both of them, jumped in her convertible and sped off.
***End of Flashback***
Camila hopped in her car, top down and put on her favorite pair of Ray Ban Aviators on and her carry on bag in tact since she would be staying with Jason for a couple of days while recording in L.A.
There's something about driving on a Saturday morning that put her in a relaxed state. Maybe it was the wind in her dark chocolate locks, or the sun caressing her skin or the music that would play on the radio, it was a mixture and she absolutely loves it.
***Recording Studio, Burbank CA 9AM***
Camila walked in soundlessly, her eyes glancing at her favorite men on the control panels, as usual, to the band in the recording booth. She approached silently and placed a hand on both Jason and Dylan's shoulder, letting them know she was there.
"Alight guys, take fifteen!" Dylan said into the speaker as the band made their way out.
"Wow guys! They sound REALLY good." She said with a really big smile.
"Thanks cousin." Jason stood up to pull her into a gigantic hug. "I'm gonna grab something to eat really quick from downstairs, do you two want anything?"
"No I'm fine." Camila said as Dylan waved his hand as if to say no while he kept his eyes on the control panels.
Camila walked the couple of steps and threw her arms around Dylan, "I missed you." She kissed the top of his head before taking a seat next to him.
"Missed you too Mila," his gaze finally turned to towards her, "how have you been."
She just have him a half smile in response.
"Well, if it means anything, it's bad Mila." He shook his head as he pressed his lips together, "I've never seen her like this."
That's a lie, Dylan HAS seen her like this, when the two brunettes first fell out of contact, but he wasn't gonna tell HER that.
Camila swiveled her chair to break eye contact as she began to mess with the control panel, "not my problem." She shrugged coldly trying her best not to let her feelings show.
Even though she was in pain, knowing Lauren was in agony broke her heart even more and all her heart wanted to do the last few weeks was find the porcelain-skinned girl, look into her glistening green eyes, throw her arms around her, attack her with kisses and forgive her, but she wasn't going to tell HIM that. That was her HEART, her head on the other hand was repulsed by thought of what Lauren did and still very much focused on the hurt the green-eyed girl had caused her.
Dylan abruptly stood up, pushed his chair to the side, " really Mila? Really? You don't care?" His tone was stern as he crossed her arms.
"What do you want me to say Dylan, she slept with someone else!" Her anger was coming through full force.
"What Lauren did wasn't right, I KNOW that, but you have to take some responsibility too."
RESPONSIBILITY TOO? What's that supposed to mean?
He lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. "I know you're hurting too and as much as you want to stand here and tell me you DONT CARE, I know you do."
Tears began to form in Camila's eyes as the words hit her hard.
"Can I tell you something?" He asked as he flashed her a smile extending both arms to grab hold of her shoulders.
Camila nodded up and down, trying desperately to hold back her tears.
"Lauren and I had been fighting, we were what, about sixteen and well we're both stubborn so I sure as hell wasn't apologizing, " he began to tell her, "I was at her house for a family party and I was walking to the bathroom when she walked out of her room, it was weird, she hadn't come out the entire night. I looked into her eyes and I could tell she had been crying and you know Lauren's like a sister to me and once I saw her eyes I walked up to her and just threw my arms around her and hugged her as tight as I could. You wanna know why she was crying? She realized she was in love with her best friend and she didn't know how to deal with it and I'm not talking about me either."
Camila couldn't hold the tears as they started streaming down her face as she began to sob.
Dylan pulled her into his arms, "look Mila, I know you're hurt and I'm not saying what Lauren did was okay because it's not. What I think I'm trying to say is that look she had when she was sixteen is the exact same look I saw on her yesterday. I've never seen Lauren look at anyone the way she looks at you Camila." They finally parted far enough to meet each other's eyes, "just hear her out."
Camila smacked Dylan in the arm as she tried to control her breathing, "I hate you!" She playfully said.
"You LOOOOOVVVVEEE me." He smiled at her.
"I do love you," her lips pulling to her eyes.
"Look, maybe you should come by The Wiltern tonight, you were planning on going before, you know."
"I don't know Dylan, I made plans already, but we'll see. Gosh look what you did, now I'm in tears and my make up must be crap by now!" She began to chuckle.
"Your make up was crap before." He said playfully as he pulled her into an embrace, "oh one more thing..."
"What Dylan?"
"Do NOT tell Lauren I told you that story when we were sixteen, she'd KILL me!"
Camila began to chuckle, "I can't make any promises."
***The Wiltern Theatre, Los Angeles, CA 9PM***
"Gosh you guys are an amazing crowd!" The older brunette exclaimed with enthusiasm as she flashed her fans a huge smile, hand on her hip, "don't tell the other cities, but L.A. Is my favorite." She winked at them as they erupted in cheers and whistles.
Camila's lips pulled to her eyes as she laughed to herself. She didn't plan on coming tonight, but she was there, leaning over the rail of the mezzanine area. There was really no other reason except for the fact that she'd missed HER, her long wavy locks that contrasted perfectly with her fair skin, her red full lips that showed off her pearly whites, she sighed at the thought of her smile and how much she'd miss Lauren smiling at her. It was really hard to pinpoint what she missed the most about the stunning brunette that her brown eyes were locked on as she pranced around the stage, but if she had to choose, well there's not much of a competition there. It would be her breathtaking emerald eyes and she missed looking into them and the way they would make her heart skip a beat.
"Alright, one more question then back to the music!" She said pointing towards the back to a fan as a stage crewmember handed him a mic.
"I love you Lauren!" The fan said.
"I love you too baby." She shot back with a wink.
"You've been doing this for a decade now," the fan began to say, "what's the best thing your career has ever given you?"
THATS A GOOD QUESTION.
Camila became uneasy, her eyes narrowing towards the green-eyed beauty, waiting for her to answer.
Lauren brought the mic to her lips, "besides my fans," the crowd 'awwwed' in unison, she paused, she was in deep thought, "it allowed me to know what love was or really IS; because of my career, I fell in love with my best friend." She said with a full blown smile spread across her face and for that split second she didn't feel the pain of knowing she ruined what THEY HAD, COULD'VE HAD by sleeping with someone else.
Camila could feel her heart pumping faster; she had to bring her hand to her chest as if trying to keep her heart in place, it was pumping so fast.
"Are you talking about Camila Cabello?!" A random person, probably a fan of hers since her Fifth Harmony days, screamed just loud enough to catch the older brunette's attention. "Come on Lauren was CAMREN REAL?! TELL US!"
She smiled, "just between you and me," she said into her mic, "and the few thousand others here, YEAH."
Camila's eyes grew wide at the older girls confession to the entire crowd, her eyes began to water; she was feeling overwhelmed as emotions and memories flooded her entire body
"Alright, alright, settle down." Lauren joked, "since you guys have been ridiculously amazing, I'm gonna sing a song I wrote a couple of days ago." She placed her mic on the stand as she ran her hand through her brown locks, winking at the crowd.
Ohhhhh, oh oh oh oh
If I have a moment, I'd capture that moment
You would be right here next to me
If I have the secret, the secret to your love
I would plant your treasure beneath my heart
Lock it all up and throw away the key
I would never give it up
'Cause I was just a fool, a fool for you
When I loved you so childishly.
And I want it all back
I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all back
I want it all back
I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all
You never miss a good thing 'til it's gone,
I want it all, now I want it all.
Lauren sang the song with everything she'd been feeling inside and to sum it up, it was regret and she wanted Camila back.
If there is a green light, and it's about to turn yellow
Pedal to the floor cause I know your heart is turning red
If I have the minutes, I would turn 'em into hours
And make love to your mind and not your body instead
I was just a fool, a fool for you,
That didn't know what had I until I lost you
Now every single moment that you're not here, yeah
It's evident to me that everything just seems so clear.
Lauren's eyes scanned the crowd when her shocked green eyes locked with glossy brown ones. She was surprised, she hadn't spoken to her in weeks and now she's here.
CAMZ? Shes here, she's here; I've missed her so much. She's staring right at me. Keep singing; just keep singing.
And I want it all back (I'd rather have it all)
(Baby come back here)
I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all back
I want it all back, I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all
You never miss a good thing 'til it's gone,
I want it all, now I want it all.
She was happy to see the younger girl, but she knew she hurt her; caused her so much pain.
Now everything isn't everything,
If everything, everything
Isn't with you, yeah
Now I want it all back,
I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all back
I want it all back,
I want it all, I want it all, girl I want it all
You never miss a good thing 'til it's gone, I want it all,
Now I want it all back, now I want it all back,
Now I want it all back, now I want it all back
Lauren wanted to fall to her knees then and there and just start balling in front of the brown-eyed girl that held every fiber of her being, but she didn't, she couldn't, not in front of fans.
Lauren closed her eyes for less than a second to regain her strength. She could hear the crowd cheer as she took in a deep breath. She opened her eyes and she felt a sharp pain pierce her heart; Camila was gone.
She ran backstage, through the halls and out the exit.
"Camila!" She could see the brown-eyed girl opening the door to her car, "Camz!" Lauren ran towards her, glossy brown eyes meeting hers for the first time in weeks and it killed Lauren to see her brown eyes this way.
She's crying; I'm always making her cry.
Lauren felt the ache run through her entire body at the thought of always being the reason Camila was hurt.
"What are you doing?" The taller brunette asked, they were just inches apart.
Camila sniffled, "well, to be honest I wanted to make a quick getaway but you caught me." She gave Lauren a half smile.
The green-eyed girl was a little relieved that the younger brunette was actually talking to her. "I meant it Camz, every word of that song, I meant it and I'm so sorry." Lauren began to cry as she grabbed hold of Camila's arms. "Please Camz, I made a mistake, I love you so much." She buried her face on Camila's shoulder as the younger girl wrapped her arms around her. "Just tell me how to fix it, please, tell me I can fix it, I love you so much." She managed to let out in between uncontrolled breaths and sobs as she continued to hold onto Camila tightly.
SHE LOVES ME, I knew but I haven't heard her say it since we were younger, she LOVES me.
Camila took a step back, cupping Lauren's face so she could look into her eyes. "You love me?" Her voice was faint through her own sobs.
"Of course I do." She answered instantaneously, green eyes completely vulnerable, conveying every feeling she's been holding onto for the last few weeks.
Camila took a few seconds, she didn't say a word; she just looked into watery green eyes and she knew looking into HER eyes how much Lauren loved her and how much SHE loved Lauren.
"Ugh!" She said in frustration cracking a small smile, "why do I love you so much?" She shook her head, cupping Lauren's cheeks, almost squeezing them.
"Same reason I love you so much," Lauren brought her forehead to Camila's.
"This isn't easy for me Lauren, you really hurt me," her voice cracked.
"I know, I know I did Camz," Lauren intertwined their fingers. "But I'm gonna earn your trust back, your heart back," she placed her hand over Camila's heart, feeling her heart beat, "ALL of your heart." Her green eyes softened.
Camila placed her hand on Lauren's hand that was on her heart, "oh, so you think you're just that AMAZING that you can just win ALL of my heart back." The younger girl said playfully as she brought Lauren's hands to her lips.
"I'm NOT, but I know YOU'RE that AMAZING and winning ALL of your HEART and TRUST back is the only option for me," she kissed Camila's hands, letting her lips linger.
Lauren slowly brought her hand down off her lips, cupped her face with her other hand and leaned in slightly. She has missed Camila's soft, tender lips for so long now. She wanted to feel them on hers. She wanted red, full, luscious lips on hers; she wanted to taste her...
~SMACK~
Camila's head snapped towards the backstage door; Lauren's eyes were wide, she was frustrated and about ready to kill whoever just opened the door.
"Lauren!" Dylan yelled.
Lauren shot Dylan the ARE YOU KIDDING ME look.
"Your fans want an encore." He tilted his head towards the stage.
"Ahhh yeah, yeah I'll be right there."
Lauren turned her attention back Camila, green loving eyes locked with bright brown ones.
"Go, don't leave your fans waiting." She said brushing fair skin with the back of her hand.
Lauren held on to her hands a little tighter, not wanting to let go.
"Gooooo." Camila let out, not really wanting the moment to end.
Lauren kissed her hand one more time, back pedaling towards the door and only letting go of her hand when she was too far from the younger girl to keep holding on to it.
Camila turned to walk towards her car, nearing the door, "Camz!"
She turned around, her brown shimmering orbs were met with glistening green eyes, "just so you know, when I have all of your heart back, I'm not letting it go this time."
Camila watched the door close behind the girl she loved, as the words 'not letting it go this time' echoed throughout her entire body.
A/N: Thanks for Reading! FEEDBACK! FEEDBACK! It fuels me! ;)