Notice: A funny little thing just for laughs and the extra sarcasm I left out in the canon chapters.
And I know pretty much out of timeline, but whatever:/
Chapter 10: Konoha sports festival
"HELLO EVERYONE! WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL KONOHA SPORTS FESTIVAL!...Or the Hidden Leaf village Grand Sports festival. Whatever suits you."
The Konoha 12 stepped into the arena where crowds of people cheered. Naruto smiled and put his hands behind his head. "Alright! Let's do our best-" Naruto paused, he felt pretty slimy. 'Oh man...why of all places?!'
"Itachi-kun! I'm so excited! If we win, we'll get a week-off vacation from all those missions!" Sakura exclaimed.
"...That means I'll have more time for studies, how exciting."
'Wow...how boring can someone get?'
Before could Naruto take off and find the nearest restroom, Sakura grabbed his arm. "Wait, Naruto you're going to miss the opening ceremonies!"
*sweat drops* "Oh mannnnn!"
Ooo
After the opening ceremonies, Naruto ran straight to the bathroom line. "Move it! Move it! MOVE IT!" Naruto yelled, he slipped on, I don't know a cup, maybe, and bumped into someone who was standing in the impossibly long bathroom line.
The guy had on an odd cloak thing with red splotches on it. 'Man, does this guy have stupid hair or what? Looks like a duck's ass...' The guy turned around and stared straight at Naruto.
"Be grateful you still have the pretty hair of yours, blockhead."
'This guy looks like Itachi!' "...what a pedo."
**The first match of the festival will soon begin!"**
OoO
"Welcome to the first match of the sports festival!"
Everyone got their feet strapped with wooden things while they all grabbed onto each others' shoulders. Naruto's face turned blue as that same churning from his stomach came back. 'I guess I'll have to tough this one out.'
Iruka held up his hand. "Ready! Go!"
Everyone took off, Naruto's team happened to be in the lead...for the time being. '...dammit!' As fast as he could, Naruto ran, wanting to get out of this situation, fast.
After the race Naruto once again took off to the bathrooms.
Kisame wiped up the floor area (from previous...incidents) around the other bathroom, he left a sign, then walked away. Naruto ran across the hall to the other bathroom. Without looking where he was going, he slipped on the wet floor.
"OH NO! DAMMIT!"
*BAM*
Naruto fell face first on the floor, he cocked his head and saw a sign that read out of order. "Jeez...why'd it have to be out of order?" Naruto slowly stood up,
"...wait the girl's bathroom is still running." Naruto grabbed his butt and gulped. "Well, when you gotta go...you gotta-"
"Hey, Naruto-kun."
Naruto quickly turned around. "...y...yeah?"
"Well...um..." Hinata's face flushed bright red.
Naruto started to cross his legs together and squeeze his butt even harder. "Come on Hinata! What is it?!"
"...um...well...um...well...um."
**ALRIGHT COMPETITORS! ROUND TWO, GUYS!**
"...Good luck Naruto!" Hinata finally spit out.
'What? That's all she came to say?!'
This time, Naruto was running through a spiraled wooden bridge, odd yes. At the end he had to drink a liter of milk. Pretty nit-picky... 'That's so much milk! All of that?! They're trying to kill me!'
Well, Naruto drank that milk. All of it. Only to have a tie.
"We have a tie folks! So we begin match 2 1/2! Tag team run!"
As luck would have it, Naruto's foot was tied together with Itachi's AND there was no break in between the milk run thing OR the tag team.
Iruka held out his arm. "Ready! Go!"
Itachi and Naruto took off, that was until that milk got the best of him. "Itachiiiii! Slow down!" Naruto yelled as he clenched his butt.
"What? Wh-"
Naruto tripped on a rock making both of them fall down. 'Damn! We're going to win this!' He picked up Itachi and placed him on his back. "Let's do this!"
"Naruto?! What're you doing?! Unhand me!"
"Shut up! I'm gonna win this damn race, weasel!"
With the rumbling of his stomach getting even more painful, Naruto sped past everyone and crossed the finish tape. After that, Naruto ran off to the back door.
"Wait Naruto, stop running!" Itachi yelled as he got dragged across the dirty floor. They were apparently still tied up.
"Stop following me! Go poop somewhere else you pervert!"
"Oh yeah! I almost forgot about the porta potties! Sweet relief!" Naruto yelled, he was getting so close.
Naruto placed his hand on the handle only for the porta potty handle to disperse into a flock of ravens. "Wha?! WHA?! WHHWHAHAHBXBXBEUD!"
OoO
Naruto woke up from the genjutsu he was somehow placed under. "Did he just...damn you Itachi!" Naruto slowly got up. The porta potty door handle was just centimeters away."Yes! Finally!"
Before Naruto could open the door, the porta potty got knocked away by Choji's boulder jutsu. He got down on his knees. "NOOOOOOO! WHAT I DO TO DESERVE THIS HELL?!
He stood up and shook Shikamaru back and forth. "Why'd you that! You idiot!"
"Calm down. We were just using it as practice!"
"Wait...practice why the hell would you-"
Ino towered over Naruto. Random flames surrounding her. "What, do you think we can't practice here?"
"Wait! I never said that!" Naruto started to crawl away, but of course Ino grabbed Naruto and dragged him back to the games. "NO! NO! They're trying to kill me!"
OoO
Naruto was running ahead of a yellow ball thing while Itachi and Sakura we're moving it in the back, looks like they were winning. That was, until yet another sensation came over him.
'Damn! I have to pee! Must of been from that milk!' Naruto held onto his crotch and ran a little bit slower. "No wait! OUCH!" Naruto's body was flattened by the ball thing.
"You idiot!" Sakura yelled.
"Clusmy idiot!" Itachi added.
"I'M NOT CLUMSY!"
Ooo
After that event Naruto was getting to his final breaking point. 'This is it! I'm gonna pee and poop for sure!' "Multi-shadow clone technique!"
Several shadow clones appeared before Naruto. "Alright guys! Let's do it!"
That also failed as well. The shadow clones for some unexpectedly odd reason ALSO had to go, so they ran around to find the nearest bathroom, basically forming an orange stampede of them.
Itachi happened to be playing with a paddle stick, just outside of a vacant bathroom, not noticing the barrage of clones coming towards him.
"ITACHI WATCH OUT!" Naruto yelled.
Itachi looked up, he saw a giant orange blur. 'Why am I always getting involved in this pointless plot?'
The clones grabbed Itachi and flung him elsewhere, after that, they barged through the tiny, tiny bathroom door. Only one clone got through safely. "Hurry up in there!" One of the clones barked.
"Wait two seconds! I just sat down!"
The real Naruto caught up to them and released the jutsu, he unzipped his pants and pulled the door handle.
It wouldn't budge.
'Damn. My clone locked the door!' Naruto zipped his pants back up and knocked on several other bathroom doors. "Come on! I have to go really bad!"
He knocked on the last door. "Hurry up!"
"This is occupied." Shino hissed. "Wait your turn and play by the rules. Why you ask? Because it's fair."
"Play by the-?! This is why we don't get along!"
Finally after two long minutes, Shino got out. Before Naruto could go in, Shino grabbed him by the collar. "Ah-ah, your team is winning and it's the last round, only fair you support them."
Shino's bugs carried Naruto back to hell. "Let the real fun begin. Why you ask? Because it's the final round."
OoO
Sakura and all the other girls I don't care to mention, were running with batons in hand. "Move it Ino-pig!" Sakura growled once she got too close.
"Shut up, billboard brow!"
Sakura handed the baton to Itachi and he took off. "HURRY UP ITACHI!" Naruto yelled. "Run faster!"
He didn't run faster like he was suppose to, in fact, he ran slower. The last members of the team all stood on the sections and waited for them to arrive. "Ah forget this. Choji is never gonna get here." Shikamaru walked off.
'Hurry! Hurry! Itachi is so damn slow!'
"Grab it Naruto! Go!" Itachi ushered, thrusting the baton at him.
Itachi accidentally stuck the baton in Naruto's butt instead of his hands and he fell down. *sweat drops* Itachi picked Naruto up and put the baton in his hand.
"You're such a weasel Itachi...why of all places?"
"Shut up. And run."
Naruto ran at a snail's pace, until something came over him. 'Wait! If I win this! I get to go!' Naruto took off and sprinted past all the other competitors.
He ran past the finish line and jumped up in the air. "Yes! I did it! Now I can-"
Naruto couldn't move. It was Shikamaru with his shadow technique. "I know this is such a drag, but we have to do the award things and what not, anyways you guys won. How troublesome it all is."
'None of the words he just said make any sense...'
Naruto sighed as everyone came over to cheer for his awesome victory.
"Yay Naruto!" Sakura cheered.
'Forget it, time to just let it all out!' "Ahhhh! Sweet relief at last!"
Everyone fell over while Naruto danced. "That felt awesome!"
"Uzumaki Naruto! Winner of the sports festival everyone!"
Itachi pushed Naruto down and held up seven fingers. "Fun fact everyone; the word 'damn' has been used seven times in this chapter!"
A/N: Day 10 (final day) of my re-edits. This is it guys!
I'm not sure when the next update will be, but it'll be soon...
Also, if you want to check it out the episode. This is the fourth Naruto OVA. It's in dub and sub plus it's really funny;D