I went out towards the door, and finally I could breath. I took the elevator, and went down. I took out my iPod and set the volume to the highest it could go. I searched for I'm with you by Avril Lavigne. She had the most amazing voice… I could simply relate to all lyrics in her songs... or most of them to be exact…
'I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?'
I walked along the road… My brain was scattered in any thought. Everything was in my mind. I felt I was about to explode with all the information I had. I just wanted to forget… I just wanted to stop all this… but I couldn't… I just couldn't…
The cold breeze gave me shivers, and I felt better… I was finally feeling something… something physical… but then… dad came to mind… his coldness… his anger… his hatred… all because I ditched him… all because I disobeyed him… all because I defied him… maybe I deserved getting raped… maybe I did bring it on to me… maybe I did lead him on… maybe…
I was about to cross the road, without even realising that I didn't care, for any car that passed. All I heard was a huge skidding break… and that brought me back to my senses.
'WATCH WERE YOU'RE GOING!' An angry driver shouted, as I moved back to the pavement, and let the car pass, before crossing the road again… this time I ran it…
I wished that the car just crushed into me… maybe I would have died the easiest way out… maybe that's all I needed… my parents would have all their problems taken away… maybe that's what the dream meant… that I should die…
'It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?'
Patience… yeah… my whole family lacked it… my father is fifty shades of fucked up… at least that's how I always heard him argue with mum… and she telling him that's it's all some damned excuse to hide behind his true feelings. I am constantly afraid of turning into him… I'm afraid of him… I'm afraid of what he may do… I'm afraid of what he'll do… will he ever talk to me again? Will he ever love me again? Will I be his peanut again? Will I have a father?
Tears streamed down at the thought… and it scares me… my parents are too consumed in themselves… I wish they could realise that there is more to life than their stupid arguments… I wish they could realise that love can conquer everything… I want them to have a happy life… I want to give them everything… but they don't realise it… and it all starts all over again… my mother sad about how dad is…my father angry at everything… Flynn… Flynn in the middle… is it so wrong to wish that Gail was my mother?
'It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yeah-he-yaa, yeah-he-yah, yeah-he-yah, yeah-he-yah, yeah!
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you'
Taylor helped dad out of the SUV, and few minutes later, they were in the kitchen, where my mother was taking some advice from Gail. Our family was literally broken… shattered… or was I blowing it out of proportion?
'Christian?' Mum said as she took in the state he was in. 'Where did you find him?' She asked Taylor…
'Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...'
'A pub outside the city Mrs Grey.' He asked as he sat him down, and Gail went to do some black coffee.
'You're in so much trouble Grey!' Mum replied angrily as she removed his suit jacket and tie, and unbuttoned few of his shirt buttons. 'That is exactly how you should deal with things Grey… getting drunk.' She continued as Gail brought him the strong coffee, but the smell made him feel sick, and it wasn't long that he was green and threw up.
'Dammit Grey!' My mother said angrily again, while Taylor brought a bucket, just in case Christian threw up again… and he was in good timing… as the next set of coughs brought more vomit up. 'That's exactly how Sera should see you when she comes back.' Mum said again, as she brought the cool damp facecloth to his face.
At that Taylor went into full alert mode. He knew what I was capable of doing. He saw me through my good and worst.
'Where is she?'
'She went for a walk.' Ana replied as she rubbed her husband's back while he threw up.
'Dammit..'
'What's wrong?'
'She wanted to escape… which is why I put Ryan on her tail.' He replied as he took his phone and contacted Sawyer.