Confines of large stacks of books, with a duvet with me... That was always my favourite place in both my home and my grandma's home... The library gave me a sense of belonging, as books mesmerized me, letting me read them and immerse myself into the story, until my hunger for knowledge increases and continues to emerge. I keep turning the pages while reading in detail each and every word, taking in the author's notes... It was always my favourite time...

Grandpa Carrick also loved books... He had mainly founded the library, and introduced his love to literature to my father... I... On the other hand took in on their footsteps. I remember when I was younger, I used to go to the library with my dad, and we spent hours in there not knowing how times flew by, reading books, and spending time together. We used to do reading marathons...

Dad introduced me to Thomas Hardy, one of my mother's favourite authors, and since then, I always researched archaic British English reading... I love John Fowles, Edgar Ellen Poe, Shakespeare,.. They all give an intriguing story... Seducing their reader into their spell, till finally, I will turn the last were the 'The End' word is...

Grandpa, knowing exactly what types of books I liked, brought me a first edition of Shakespeare's most famous play Macbeth. It is one of my definitely favourite plays, as Macbeth is the person that everyone could relate to. The deceiving, the lust to succumb to evil... The fear of taking the throne away from him... The three witches which were the first part in contributing towards Macbeth's damnation... It is a mesmerizing book how Shakespeare told the story in such detail.

What we fail to understand is that every story had been told in some way or another. We hope for different endings, unpredictable ones… guess every writer contributes to that… until finally, we link every story, every novel to life…

The holidays quickly passed, and it was already two weeks since I've returned back to school. It was getting tiring every single day… having to fight through all the pain and aches… through the glares and stern looks… the stares with pity looks… when was it all going to end?

'Sera, are you coming?' Mark asked, as I set all my books in my messenger book.

'Um… yeah sure.' I smiled.

'Nat's holding the canteen table.'

'Remind me again… why did she ditch?' I asked curiously.

'Forgot to study for the test, and forgot her homework.'

'Double crap.' I smiled…

'Are you ok Sera?'

'Yeah… Why do you ask?'

'Well… Natalie mentioned something… and I'm kind of concerned.' He replied genuinely.

'I'm fine… Don't worry about it Mark.' I smiled as I opened the canteen door and saw Natalie waving at us.

We made our way towards her and joined her. She had already brought our lunches… I guess she did manage to ditch all queue.

'Thanks honey.' Mark replied as he kissed her passionately.

'Get a room you two!' I laughed.

'Don't say that again… we might get one.' Natalie answered back sarcastically as she raised an eyebrow, and looked seductively towards Mark.

'Ok, you two… stop it! You're making me uncomfortable.' I teased.

'You see anything you like Grey?' Natalie asked. 'What about that William guy in biology?'

'Nah… He has a girlfriend, and I'm too busy for guys.'

'All you do is work work work, dance dance dance and run run run.' Natalie joked. 'You should enjoy life.

'I will enjoy it, when I'll get rid of these exams.' I replied as I took out her notes. 'Here… and our teacher told me to tell you that you need a slip signed from your parents… and that you can be really loud when talking on the phone.'

'He saw me? Crap… now I have to dad that I ditched… or…'

'…oh… that or scares me from you Natalie… what are you planning in that brain of yours?'

'I can falsify the signature.'

'No Natalie… you know that nothing goes by Taylor without knowing!'

'True… but I can only try!... the least he can do is ground me… I'm already with Prescott…'

'… which reminds me… I haven't seen her around.' I answered back.

'No… dad said that he trusts me in school.'

'… and you think falsify his signature will make him trust you more? What if the school calls him?'

'Oh come on Grey! You're too uptight! You should let go a bit… you've changed a lot.'

'I have not…' I disagreed.

'Ok girls… cut it out… soon you'll be discussing PMS, and it sucks during lunch.' Mark joked as he dug in his mushroom tortellini.

The smell made me feel sick to my stomach. It was normal to not eat these days… it kept getting easier and easier to restrain… I didn't feel any remorse… I felt better whenever I restrained… it was finally all better…

'Aren't you going to eat that?' Natalie stated as she saw me not touching my dish, only working on my laptop.

'Um… I'm not hungry… I had a huge breakfast.' I quickly used the first excuse I could find.

'Breakfast has been 5 hours ago Sera… Come on… have some…' She insisted as she pushed the plate in front of me. 'It's good! And you love tortellini Sera!'

I thought about it… the only way I could get her off my back for a while is if I have some… I don't have to eat it all… I just have to have at least quarter of it… and then I can always purge… I smiled at the thought… and there were always laxatives to help… I took the fork slowly, and dug in slowly while I joined in their conversation… sometimes I wondered… why is it so important that I eat or not?

'Good afternoon Ana, Christian.' Flynn greeted my parents as they entered his office, and sat down on the couch, while Flynn joined them and sat in front of them. 'How are you?'

'Well… we're having some disagreements.' Mum started, as she gave a stare at dad.

'I told you I'm not talking to her for now.'

'You're still holding a grudge Christian?' Flynn asked.

'John, you know how I feel when people defy me… I gave her clear orders to follow… and look what happened… she brought this on herself.'

'Christian, I'm sure Sera didn't want to get raped… You have to understand that she is a 17 year old girl full of peer pressure, and doesn't want to be judged. She has to have the experiences other 17 year olds have.'

'Sera know that she has to follow the rules.' Christian kept proving his point.

'…and how do you feel about this?' John asked.

'I'm angry… for her being… raped…' He said as he closed his eyes. '…She cries at night… she screams… I can't imagine what that prick had done to her… she's damaged… he forced himself into her… she's still young… so innocent… the worry she has put me through… I want her to suffer like I am…' Christian continued.

'…and how do you plan on getting rid of this feeling?'

'I don't know… I just want to belt her down…' Christian replied as he closed his eyes in pain.

'You want to hurt our daughter?' Mum asked surprised.

'Don't look at me that way Ana! You know how I feel about corporal punishment… but I cannot do it… I won't be able to stop myself.'

'Christian, she's 17, and that's definitely not the attitude you should take on this… I'd suggest a suitable grounding would be appropriate…'

'…and what are we to ground her on?' Christian replied. '…all she does is read, dance, study and goes to run… the television grounding is a bit too old!'

'Maybe you'll restrict her internet use… she loves music… you can forbid her any type of music… or even having to do some chores around the house… but you are taking this a bit too far Christian.'

'I am talking to her… I just… can't seem to get this out of my mind… she's not only a daughter to me… she is the daughter that has been brutally abused…' Christian replied a he ran his hand through his hair. 'I look at her… and she seems… I don't know… she's different.'

'Christian I'm sure you've realized her physical state…' Flynn started while dad pursed his lips together.

'John… would you mind if you we bring her here next time… We won't tell her…we'll just bring her.' Mum suggested. 'She won't agree to any therapy…'

'I think it's best.' He replied back as he checked the time.

'Damn the bell rang… and back to the lessons.' Natalie grumbled.

'How long is Sera going to take in the bathroom?' Mark asked.

'I'll go check on her…' She replied as she took both our bags. 'Keep us a seat in biology baby.' She replied as she kissed him and made her way to the bathrooms.

I kept thrusting my fingers deep in my throat, wanting to get rid of anything I had to eat. It was getting painful at times. Tears messed up with my visions, and I didn't notice that the front door had opened.

Natalie heard my heaving sounds of vomiting… she knew what they were. She followed the sounds, and soon I heard a knock on the door.

'Sera? Are you alright?' She asked as she tried pushing the bathroom door.

I quickly stood up only to feel dizzy and cleaned up my fingers the best I could… I dried my tears and flushed the toilet and went out of the bathroom straight to the sink.

'Sera?' She asked again. 'Are you alright?'

'Yeah… yeah…' I smiled as I spit the water and dried my mouth.

'Were… were you throwing up?'

'Um… the pasta was a bit stale…'

'Sera, I had from the same dish… It wasn't stale. What's wrong?' She asked.

'No, I'm not pregnant if that's what you're thinking.'

'I know you're not… but… Sera please… talk to someone.'

'Natalie I'm fine.' I replied as I tried making my way out, but she quickly stopped me from my sleeve. She pulled it up and few cuts were revealed.

'What? What have you done?' She looked at me judgmental.

'Natalie… they're nothing…'

'Sera you're fucking cutting!' she replied again as she held my arm tighter in hers, and traced them over. She turned my hand and looked over my knuckles… my teeth had scratched the top of the knuckles, and she wasn't that stupid to realize everything. 'You're making yourself sick? Why?'

'Natalie please drop it!' I answered in tears.

'Sera, you're killing yourself! I knew there was something wrong… Last time you threw away the pancakes… and now this? Please Sera, please! For me! Talk to somebody!'

'Nat… I'm fine… I can handle it.'

'This is not fine! If you're not telling anyone then I will tell Grey senior.' She threatened. '…and you know how Christian will react if he'll know about this…'

'No Natalie, please you cannot do that!' I begged. 'He already doesn't talk to me… you cannot tell him! Please! He'll hate me for having an excuse of a daughter.'

'Sera, you are not an excuse of a daughter! He is the one that has to sort all his bull shit and you've been through thick and thin… but this? You're killing yourself slowly!'

'Natalie, please! I promise I'll talk to someone… just… keep it for yourself!' I begged her. I saw her overthinking it… she didn't know what to do… but I knew… I wanted to keep my secret away from everybody… 'Natalie you knew me all your life… you know when I promise you something I'll do it… just please! Promise me you won't tell, and I promise you I'll talk to somebody.'

'Ok… ok… you never lied to me… but you have to talk to somebody… you have to get better Sera!'

'I will… I promise!' I replied as I took my bag. 'Now let's go before we both get a detention.'

I managed to get her off my back… I felt guilty for lying to her… but I knew she wouldn't spill… her promises for secrets meant everything, and I could rest assured about that… but I had to pay more attention and cover my tracks better… now more than ever.

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