Chapter 3 - To Have and to Hold
A series of snapshots of life in the Song household. (Yes, it does work that way.) Though this is tagged as an Eleven story, for most of this chapter, the Doctor is a much later version. Eleven will feature more prominently in the next chapter.
"I can't have you disrupting my classes like that, Doctor." River's voice was low and deadly.
The Doctor ran a hand through his thick red hair and sighed. "But what you were telling them was wrong. You know perfectly well that monument was put there by Derolkian traders, not humans, and that it isn't actually solid marble all the way through. You and I spent enough time in the hidden chamber..."
"Sweetie, I have to confine myself to discussing things that can be detected in the archeological record with technologies available in this century. Humans don't yet have the technology needed to find the secret chamber so I can't tell my class about it. Besides, don't you remember what we left behind in there?" She smiled and raised her eyebrows at him.
"My bow tie?" He looked slightly puzzled.
"And..." She waved a hand at him to continue, grinning suggestively.
"Ummm...your knickers." River's grin grew wider and she waved her hand again for him to continue. "Oh, wait. Now I remember. Ooooh... Yes, darling, you are very right. It's a good thing that you and I are the only ones who know how to get in there. That mural you painted would shock even Jack Harkness. Goodness me. What made you decide to tell your class about that monument? One of your students might decide to go there and have a look."
She laughed lightly. "I had my reasons. Seriously though, honey. I don't want you to contradict me in front of my students like that again. If you have a problem with this, I suggest you visit the physics department while I'm working."
The Doctor gave her a sheepish look. "I can't. Professor Revel said that if I showed up there again, he would use my body to demonstrate the concept of terminal velocity to his class. Besides I want to be with you, not with a bunch of mindless incompetents who know less about physics than our 5-year old children do, though I'll admit the kids do have some advantages..."
She sighed in exasperation. "This is not negotiable, my love. If you can't behave yourself when you visit my classroom, I will force you to reenact that mural in front of the entire class."
"Professor Song, I thought you wanted to keep me from speaking up in your class, not to encourage me. I'm not sure if I can actually bend that way, but I'm game to give it a go if you are." His eyebrows rose suggestively.
River smiled broadly, as she sauntered closer to him. "If you're that eager, we should practice it ahead of time to limber you up, shouldn't we?" She pressed her body against his and began running her fingers through his hair.
He kissed her lightly on the lips and grabbed hold of her backside with both hands. "Excellent idea, Mrs. Doctor. Let's adjourn to the bedroom and discuss it further."
River was lying in bed with her head on her husband's shoulder, idly drawing invisible patterns on his bare chest with her free hand. She knew he was going stir crazy. The TARDIS had been parked in the same corner of her office ever since he had arrived at her house four years ago.
"Sweetie, if you need to get away for a while and blow off some steam, I'll understand. I doubt you've spent so much time in one place since you were exiled to Earth by the Time Lords. You must be going mad."
The Doctor hesitated a few moments before responding. "No. I can't. If I leave here, I don't think I'll be able to get back again. I feel it in my hearts. If I go without you, it will be the death of me, but the kids aren't quite old enough yet to take them with us and it would be too risky to go without them. We're very lucky that the Great Intelligence is the only one of our enemies who seems to have discovered their existence." He took her free hand and lightly kissed the back of it. "Besides, I promised you I would stay with you and the kids for as long as time lets me. I intend to keep that promise."
"Professor Song?"
River stopped and turned towards the young man who had called her name as she was walking across campus. He almost tripped over his own feet as he rushed to catch up to her.
"I'm terribly sorry to bother you, Professor, but I have a question about the lecture you gave the other day on the Aplans. What do the statues in their moratoria actually look like?"
River carefully examined the young man standing next to her. He was tall and thin, with pale skin and short black hair. He was wearing a worn leather jacket, red and green striped trousers, and a Tam O'Shanter. She smiled. He was almost as bad at blending in as his father. "Well, Arthur, I think you'll find some detailed descriptions of them in the book I wrote about their culture. It's listed in the syllabus."
The young man nodded. "Thank you, Professor. I must have missed that. And my name is David, not Arthur."
River chuckled. "No, it isn't. Your name is Arthur James Song. You were born eight Earth years ago, local time, in a hospital 6 kilometers from here. Your sister is younger than you by 2 hours and 17 minutes. Your favorite ice cream flavor is butterscotch ripple. Your first pet was a hamster named Mr. Feisty Pants. You wouldn't leave your room for three days after he died. Need I go on?"
Arthur blushed. "How did I give myself away?"
She sighed. "I carried you under my hearts. I will always know you, no matter what face you choose to wear. Besides, you seem to have inherited your father's appalling fashion sense. You should work on that if you want to go unnoticed."
"Yes, Mother." His tone was one of resignation. This was clearly a conversation she would have with him many times.
"What are you doing here anyway? Crossing your own time stream is extremely dangerous. What if you bump into your eight-year old self?" River was immensely curious about how he'd respond to this.
"I won't bump into myself. I know exactly where I was today. That's why I knew it would be safe to come here." He looked away and blushed again.
She studied his profile. The anxious expression on his face reminded her of how her father had looked when he was a young man. "A particularly memorable day, is it?"
"Spoilers. You'll find out soon enough," he replied. "You needn't worry. Everything will be fine. Make sure Dad doesn't worry too much either, eh?"
"I'll do my best, but you know how he is. Is that why you're here? You wanted to reassure me that whatever it is that happens today will turn out all right?"
He took his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair, with an increasingly flustered look on his face. "Can't a boy just want to see his mum?"
"Oh, Arthur. That's very sweet of you, but I don't believe..." Her words trailed off as a little girl with short dark hair approached them.
"Dad, can we go now? I'm getting cold and my ankle hurts."
Arthur gave River an apologetic look."In a minute, Susan. Why don't you go back to the playground for a little while. I'll come get you in a few minutes and then we can go get some hot cocoa."
"All right, Daddy, but I'm really getting bored there. The other kids don't understand temporal mechanics at all." The little girl bounded away in the direction from which she had arrived.
"What a charming little girl," River said with a grin. "Susan?"
"After Susan Campbell. She helped rebuild the Earth after the Dalek invasion. One of my wife's childhood heroes." He rubbed his face ruefully. "I'm so sorry, Mother. That wasn't meant to happen. We're here to..."
River cut him off. "Spoilers. It's odd enough to find out I'm a grandmother before either of my children have reached puberty. You should run along and do whatever it is that you came here to do. I'll see you earlier."
"Thank you, Mother. I love you." He gave her a light peck on the cheek and trotted off to catch up with his daughter..
River stood for several moments and watched the two of them as they moved away. There had to be a reason why he had chosen to come here. She certainly hoped that he had learned (would learn) from her and from his father how dangerous what he had just done could be.
"It was bound to happen sooner or later, Sweetie. They are, after all, your children. The temptation was too much for them to resist, I imagine. I'm surprised it didn't happen much sooner." River's voice was soft and soothing.
"But they're out there on their own in my TARDIS!" The Doctor paced back and forth in the corner of River's office where the TARDIS had been parked.
River sighed, though she laughed inwardly at the possessiveness that always crept into his tone when he talked about the TARDIS. "You worry too much, my love. You know perfectly well that she won't take them anywhere that's more dangerous than they can handle. You've seen them in their future. You should be less worried than I am."
"Time can be re-written..." His voice was anguished.
"Oh, that tired old line. Sweetie, haven't you figured out yet that time isn't really that malleable where our own lives are concerned? Yes, we can change some small things here and there, but neither one of us has ever been able to change anything that was truly important. No matter how hard we try, something always gets in the way. I doubt that we could have prevented this. The TARDIS let them in. I'm sure she had her reasons." She pulled him into her arms and let him rest his head on her shoulder.
"Then why hasn't she she brought them back yet? It's been six hours!"
She squeezed him comfortingly. "You know how easy it is for her to get her timing wrong. They'll be back soon. I have no doubt."
As if on cue, a familiar wheezing groan split the air as the TARDIS materialized in the corner of the room. A boy with mussed black hair emerged and gave his parents a sheepish look. He bit his lip as he stepped aside to allow his curly-haired sister to saunter into the room. She stopped short when she saw her parents and ducked her head down guiltily.
River put on her sternest expression, though she secretly admired her children's pluck. "And what sort of time do you call this?"
Arthur, as usual, was the more contrite of the two and his voice wavered as he apologized. "We're sorry. She told us that you wouldn't even realize we were gone. I guess she brought us back a little later than she was planning."
"And where the hell were you?" Though he tried to prevent it, the Doctor couldn't keep himself from shouting, his green eyes flashing a mixture of anger, relief, and fear.
Sarah jumped backwards and gave him a startled look. She wasn't used to seeing him like this. He had always been more inclined to laugh at his children's frequent misbehavior than to get angry at them. "We're sorry, Daddy. We were playing hide and seek. The door was open and...well..." She stammered and blushed. "Before we knew it, we were on a different planet."
River put a her hand on her husband's shoulder and kissed him lightly on the cheek, whispering into his ear, "Calm down, dear." Then she crouched down in front of her daughter. "And which planet did you end up on?"
Sarah gave her brother a questioning look and he nodded to her. "Well, it was an odd sort of place. The sky was orange and all the trees had silver leaves. There was this big city under a dome. She said we weren't going there because it's a silly place, but that there was something else we had to see now that we're eight."
The Doctor put his face into his hands and then ran his fingers through his long red hair. "Of course! The Untempered Schism! I should have known." He walked over to the TARDIS and gave it an affectionate pat. "Thank you, old thing. I don't know if I could have summoned up the courage to take them there myself." He walked back over to his children, crouched down, and gave them both reassuring pats on their cheeks. "I'm sorry if I sounded a bit cross just now, but I was very worried about you. I know it may be hard to talk about this, but I'm very curious to know what you both saw there."
Arthur looked at his sister, who shrugged her shoulders to indicate he should go first. "Well, it's hard to say, really. It was kind of scary, but it was also very pretty." He looked at his father hesitantly. "I guess you could say it made me feel inspired. There's so much beauty out there..." His voice trailed off and he blushed, looking away.
The Doctor turned to his daughter and gave her an affectionate tap on the nose with his index finger. "And you, my little cherub? What did you see?"
Sarah grinned and giggled. "I saw you, Daddy. And I saw Mummy. And I saw Clara. All three of you. Over and over again. All through space and time. You're very naughty, aren't you?" She giggled again and grinned at her mother. "You can't seem to help yourselves. You have to meddle because you want to help people." She suddenly turned serious. "You made a lot of bad stuff happen, too. You didn't mean to, but you did. When we're old enough, Arthur and I will have to fix a lot of things that you broke. Don't worry, though. You'll make sure that we know how."
River looked deeply into her husband's eyes, which displayed a confused mixture of regret, hope, and fear. She turned to her children and gave them each a reassuring smile. "Well, we'll do our best. In the meantime, it's past your bedtime. Go brush your teeth and we'll come tuck you in shortly." She gestured to them to leave the room. "Off you go." She gave her husband a long searching look.
"Sweetie?"
He looked up at her and smiled. "You go tend to them. I need to think for a while. I'll be all right."
After his wife left the room, the Doctor paced around restlessly, picking up and examining various objects, then setting them down again. Gallifrey. His children had gone to Gallifrey. He doubted that this would be their only visit. That they had looked unflinchingly into the Untempered Schism would no doubt help them find acceptance in Gallifreyan society some day, despite their unconventional genealogy. Gallifrey. There was something else he needed to remember about Gallifrey. What was it? He was getting so old that he'd forgotten more things than most Gallifreyans ever learned. His memories would likely be worthless to them when they got around to adding them to the Matrix.
Suddenly, he rushed from the room and called for Clara.
River was lying in bed with her head on her husband's shoulder, idly drawing High Gallifreyan symbols on his chest with her fingertip. He laughed suddenly and grabbed hold of her hand. "That is physically impossible, my love, and you know it."
She flashed him a grin, her eyebrows ached as she purred suggestively. "Well, we could still give it the old college try."
He kissed her cheek and hugged her more closely to his chest. "Have I ever mentioned how much I love you, Mrs. Doctor?"
"Yes, but you can tell me again as often as you like."
And he proceeded to do so, both with his words and with his body.
My darling River,
I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I couldn't stay any longer.
There's no such thing as goodbye for the two of us. Permit me to say instead, see you around, Professor Song.
I love you.
Θ Σ
She had known this day would arrive, but she wasn't ready for it and didn't know if there ever could have been a time that she would be. Her eyes filled with tears as she read the letter over and over again. Then, suddenly, she crumpled it and threw it across the room, whimpering in pain. Her body shook with silent sobs and she curled into a fetal position, her hands covering her face.
The door opened and Clara walked in. River quickly jumped up and turned away from Clara, wiping the tears from her face.
"What's wrong, Professor?"
River flashed her a smile. "Oh, nothing. Just him indoors being his usual annoying self. I'll be all right."
"What did he do now?" Clara's eyes were concerned. She had rarely seen River look so distraught.
"Oh, he just decided to go off on one of his little adventures without saying goodbye. That's all." River struggled to keep her voice calm and even. "I'll be all right, Clara. Don't worry about me."
She went to her desk and sat down. "Honestly. It took me a bit off guard, but I'll be fine." She smiled at Clara again and pretended to study the papers on her desk. "Was there something that you needed me for?"
Clara looked unconvinced. "That man, Lux, is on the comm again. He keeps calling my room instead of yours. Says he really wants to talk to you about that expedition. I can tell him to call back later if you want."
"Please do. I'll get in touch with him tomorrow. What an insufferable man. If his proposal weren't so intriguing, I would have told him to shove off a long time ago." River sighed. "Anything else?"
Clara hesitated a moment, then looked at the determined expression on River's face and shook her head. "No, Professor. I'll go tell him now."
When Clara left the room, River put her elbows on her desk and covered her face with both hands, as tears began to well up in her eyes once more. Just as she began to sob, she heard a sound she hadn't thought to hear again for a very long while. She rushed out to the hallway and looked out the window to see the TARDIS materializing on her doorstep. She raced to the front door and opened it just as the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS. He was in his "Baby Face" incarnation, but his hair was shorter than usual and he was wearing a new suit.
"Hi, honey. I'm home." He grinned broadly and swept his hat off with a flourish. "Shall we?" He gestured towards the open TARDIS door.
She grinned back at him and kissed his cheek. "Hello, Sweetie! Let me go inside and grab some things and we can be on our way."