Author's Note: I'm SO sorry for not updating in so long! I'm now moved in and settled into college, but life is still crazy, and the homework loads are monumental. Plus, I've started another story on here after watching the show Kyle XY. SO now I'm trying to keep both updated.

I'd also like the THANK all you readers that have stuck with me this long, and all my constant reviewers - you have no idea how much your reviews encourage me. So thanks! :D (And I promise the a slow-coming, unexpected climax - like in Twilight - is coming really soon!)

"You know, you kissed me right after I threw up. That's -" I crinkled my nose.

"It wasn't bad," he said, his expression amused, "I didn't mind."

I smiled. "You must care about me."

"I do," he answered seriously.

"Still, it's kind of gross for you, and embarrassing for me."

I felt him shrug. We sunk to the ground completely so we were laying among the flowers.

I pulled myself up so that half of me was laying on his chest. He put his arms around me. Laying with him came so naturally. I felt so safe, so wanted, and so warm with him.

"This is nice," I said softly.

"You have no idea," he answered, "How nice it is for me."

My grin grew.

"So," he said, "Tell me more about yourself."

"I think you know everything there is to know about me."

He laughed, "Paige, there's so much more to know!"

"Like what?"

"Eighteen years worth of stuff to know about you. There's so much to ask..."

"Well, you can ask," I said, "But I don't know why all the unimportant little details about me are so interesting to you. I'm a pretty boring person."

"Please. You are anything but boring."

I was flattered, but also flabbergasted.

"Well, I still have a lot of questions about you, too, and your story is much more fascinating."

"Yes, and I'll tell you everything I can. But you know I still can't tell you everything."

"Okay, I'll ask, and if you CAN'T answer, then jut say 'pass' but if you just don't want to answer, you still have to. Deal?"

He chuckled, "Okay."

"Okay. Hm. First question: do you still want to kill me right now?"

He hesitated before answering, "Paige, I don't emotionally or consciously want to kill you ever; it's my - body, my buried instinct that is so determined to end your life. But yes. It's not as hard right now - it's easier to maintain control right now than it ever has been around you - but yes, there is still a part of me that wants to."

I felt a little better knowing that his homicidal wishes weren't stemming from uncontrolled thoughts.

"I wonder," I said softly, "Why is it that it's easier now? That it's easier at some times than it is at others?"

"I'm not sure," he answered after a moment, "I think it's because I'm so relaxed, and so euphoric."

"Was it hard for you when you were a wolf?"

He chuckled, "No. That was an amazing experience - because as a wolf, the need to end your life is completely nonexistent. It's not my wolf side that causes it. The wolves protect human life. That's their legacy. They don't end life. I can't even tell you how ecstatic I was be around you as a wolf - if I hadn't been worried about freaking you out, scaring you - I almost would have preferred to stay like that the whole day. It's so incredible to be able to appreciate you fully, and not worry quite so much about controlling myself."

He laughed, "Although carrying on conversation would have been a little difficult."

I smiled, "Only a little. Since you can't talk."

"But you did an excellent job reading my thoughts," he acknowledged, his voice light.

"More your expressions and actions than thoughts," I laughed.

He shrugged, "Even so."

We both laughed a little. Once it simmered, I asked softly, "So, why can't you tell me what else you are again? What your mom is?"

He sighed.

"It's hard to explain. And part of me wants to tell you - so you'd be warned. But most of me knows that that's impossible. And is glad for it."

"Why?" Renesme definitely didn't seem intimidating.

"Because - well, first of all, when Bella - my grandmother - was a regular human girl, and she found out Edward - her husband and my grandfather who hadn't been human since the early nineteen hundreds - she - "

"The early nineteen hundreds?!" I interrupted incredulously.

"Yeah. He hadn't been human in a while."

"When did he meet your grandmother, Bella?"

"Fourteen years ago. She was seventeen."

I blinked in shock.

"She had my mother twelve years ago, a few days before she would have turned twenty."

"Wow. That's so hard to wrap my head around - that your grandmother was our age only twelve years ago!"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, that's how it's been my whole life. I don't know what it's like not to have your grandmother only be twenty-four years older than you."

I shook my head.

"What was it like, to age so fast?"

This was fascinating stuff.

He laughed again, "Well, I don't know what it would have been like to age so slowly. But I imagine it felt the same. It felt natural. It only seems different if you compare the two, side by side. I just accomplished in about six years what took you and the rest of your kind about eighteen."

That was an interesting way of looking at it. But it made sense.

"Alright. So you were telling me about why you can't tell me what else you were, before I rudely interrupted..."

He sighed, "Yeah. Well as I was saying, Bella found out about Edward, and it didn't go well for Bella once the Volturi found out. They sentenced her to death, or life as one of them. And now she's one of them."

"So it's possible for you to become one - of whatever they are?"

"Yes."

"How?" I was definitely not unconditionally willing to throw away my humanity - or risk it - to become an evil, unnamed creature that I knew nothing about, but I was intrigued.

"Pass," he answered instantly. I looked at him reproachfully.

"Your rule," he reminded me.

"Fine," I pouted, "But then, continue."

"Alright. Well, even if I told you and the Volturi didn't find out, I - I don't know if I could handle you knowing that about me. I mean, you've been great so far - but I mean it when I tell you that the other side of me is dangerous. And even if my turning into a wolf didn't freak you out, this side of me would."

An involuntary shiver made it's way down my side. Matthew's voice was getting harder, more urgent. He meant this. And I wondered what creature could possibly be that bad? I wasn't sure I wanted to find out, anyway.

"Besides, the Volturi would find out. I'm sure they are anxious to check up on my mother, and once they do - if they discover the existence of me and Lorraine - well, it wouldn't bode well. And it definitely wouldn't bode well for you if you knew anything about them. They'd kill you on the spot, probably, or else force you to become one of them. And maybe they'd kill you accidently in the process. I couldn't live with myself if any of those things happened to you."

"I see," I said softly.

"Yeah. And even if - by some miracle - we could excuse you as being party to the knowledge via the wolves, I just don't think they'd leave us alone for long. And I don't think they'd leave you alone for long."

We laid in silence for a little while, each mulling on our own thoughts.

"By the way," he said, "I'm leaving next weekend."

"What?"

"For the weekend. Me, Lorraine, Renesme, Jacob - we're actually going to visit the wolves. Several members of Jacob's pack live on La Push, near Forks. We're going to visit them, and the rest of our family there. That being my great grandfather Charlie, and my grandfather Billy. And Sam and his pack - they are another pack of werewolves. Jacob and his pack were all part of Sam's at one point."

"Oh."

Was it crazy that I wanted to go with him? I wanted to meet his family, and other werewolves. The only one's I'd seen had been Matthew and Jacob.

"That should be fun," I told him, trying to sound optimistic.

"It will be nice to see them," he said evasively.

"But not fun?" I asked.

"Well, I don't think I could have fun, away from you. I'll be thinking about you the whole weekend."

I smiled in spite of myself.

"I'll be thinking of you too," I answered.

"What will you do?" he asked.

"I don't know... I might go a little crazy. Maybe you'll have to call me or something, one night. What day are you leaving?"

He laughed, "I meant, 'what will you do with your weekend?'. But we're leaving Thursday, after school. We're skipping Friday."

"Oh." Longer than I'd anticipated, "Maybe you will have to call me one night."

"Maybe I will," he answered musingly.

"And I have no idea what I'm going to do for the weekend. Maybe sleep, do some homework. Probably figure out which college I'm going to."

"Which college are you going to?"

"I don't know. Probably the University of Washington - Seattle. I got in, and it's not that far."

"You don't want to go far?"

"Well, I don't know. I don't really care. I also got accepted to the University of Wisconsin, Stevens Point. It's where my grandparents want me to go. But I don't know. I don't want to be smothered by them. Where are you going?" I lifted my head and put rested my chin on his chest. I would go wherever he went.

"I don't know - probably Seattle as well."

"Really? I mean, you're a genius - you could teach Harvard a few things, I'd bet."

He shrugged.

I laughed.

"Why Seattle?"

"It's a good school," he said seriously.

"Well, then I'm definitely going there."

"Because I am?"

"Yes. College together would be cool," my insides melted a little at the thought. College, the future - it had all seemed so empty, directionless, until I'd thought of it with Matthew. Now I had a plan, sort of. It didn't really matter what happened afterwards, but suddenly going to college with Matthew seemed like it would be the greatest thing in the world, like it was all I could ask out of life.

"Well, yeah, it would be cool." What an understatement.

"Okay, next question: if it's possible to become one of what your grandparents are, is it possible to become what you are?"

I had no idea why the question instantly felt so important. It wasn't like I was willing to give up humanity for a chance with Matthew - but, the age thing bothered me. I didn't want to age away while he stayed young forever.

"No."

"Oh." The disappointment I felt was utterly irrational.

"We're almost positive that if I tried to - well, turn someone - that that someone would die."

"Oh. Almost?"

"Well, technically there's no one else exactly like me, and I for one, am not willing to try it on anyone. No one is going to die for the mere sake of curiosity. But, technically, no one's ever died. But knowing all the facts and details about - where I come from on both ends - it is extremely likely that I would just kill someone."

"I'm intrigued. How does this transformation come about, that you'd kill the person where someone else wouldn't? I mean, you seem much less likely to be the type of person capable of murder than say - Lorraine. For example."

"It's not a level of control or anything to do with my actions. I - Paige, we're done with this conversation. I really can't tell you anymore."

"Just tell me a little more. Please."

I was burning with curiosity.

He seemed to cave to my pleading look, and reluctantly continued.

"Alright, well - I - my mother's side - they are poisonous. Their bodies make a special poison that they can - administer - to a person and that person would die. But, in special cases, their poison wouldn't kill, it would transform. My mother doesn't have the poison; she's too human. And so far only males of her kind are poisonous. I have poison. But wolves don't have poison, and my grandparent's poison always kills a wolf. So it's almost garunteed that mine would be just deadly poison."

"I see."

Poison. Deadly. My mind was spinning. What kind of creature was poisonous, whose poison could transform? I was coming up with nothing.

"What if - someday - I decide to risk it, and ask you what you are? Will you tell me?"

He sat up, forcing me to get off of him. We faced each other. I crossed my legs. I leaned in, sure that his clenched jaw and tight demeanor were a clue as to my coming answer.

"No. Because you don't know what you're asking, and you don't know enough to know that you don't want that."

"Whoa. I was speaking of a potential future event. But isn't that my choice?"

"No. Because you may think you want to know now - and that nothing is so bad that it wouldn't be worth it or whatever - but afterwards, once you knew, you'd want to take it back. And unfortunately, you wouldn't know that you wouldn't have wanted to risk it until it was too late. And I will never put you in danger from the Volturi or have your humanity questioned. Ever. I promise."

His eyebrows furrowed and his nostrils flared in determination. His eyes were pained.

He looked away.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned about the pain I'd seen in his eyes.

"Yeah. You shouldn't be asking me if I am okay. You're the one that is dealing with a lot of things that are very difficult to come to terms with today. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I smiled a little. He answered with an odd look.

"You really are very good with weird-and-dangerous, you know."

"Um, thanks...?"

He half-grinned.

"So, Jacob's wolf pack..."

"What about it?"

"Well, tell me about them."

"Alright." His half-grin had hardly disappeared before its new reappearance. I loved that grin. It always managed to send my heart into overdrive, which only amused Matthew more. Somehow, I was sure, he could hear my heart beat.

I listened to him talk, thinking a little about what he was saying. I mostly just wanted to be able to think for a little while, without having to converse. It was a shame to miss out on conversation with Matthew - just talking to him simultaneously soothed and excited me. It was intoxicating. So intoxicating, it was hard to think. And I was concerned about his other half. I knew that he thought it was possible that I believed that nothing could be outside the realm of my tolerance, and that he believed that whatever he was so far surpassed any expectations I could come up with, that I would change my mind if I knew the truth. I didn't know what to think about that. I was positive that nothing could make me reject him - I knew he wasn't what half of his genetics claimed he was. Not even half. And his mother seemed so sweet. That they could be evil, or have evil rooted deeply inside, was so hard to believe.

I listened to Matthew's voice. If I hadn't been listening to it's musical tones, I wouldn't have believed it possible for a voice to be so smooth, so velvety. It was soft, but there was a hard edge underneath the soft outer layer. It was deep, like most men, but it weaved pitches over and under each other like a gorgeous symphonic melody.

Renesme's voice was much the same, but higher, and even more warm and welcoming. Renesme's voice didn't have the hard edge I detected in Matthew's.

I thought of Jacob's; Jacob's voice was ordinary. Human. Low and sexy, but still, not outside the realm of any normal man's.

So whatever Renesme was, the smooth, silky voice went with it. What sort of creature could possibly posses both that amazing, resonating, rich voice, and dark, murderous qualities at the same time?

I shook my head. It didn't matter. I loved Matthew. It didn't matter what he was; I would always love him. Even if he had killed someone before - even if he had killed more than one someone before - I would still love him. Perhaps I was trapped in this love, but it certainly didn't feel like a prison. My heart was singing. If this was prison, I wanted to stay there forever.

"Well," Matthew said suddenly. I jumped. I wondered how long I'd been lost in his voice.

"Shall we feast?" He grinned.

"Sure," I answered feebly.

"Good; I'm starving." He grabbed the bag I'd seen him leave the house with before, and put in front of him.

"Hey," I started, confused, "How did that get here?"

"I carried it here," he answered, amused at my confusion.

"No," I protested, "I mean, how did it get here? You were a wolf on our way here...

"Yeah... I tied it around my leg. Same with my clothes. You didn't notice?

"No." How had I missed something that big? I thought I had memorized every detail of the wolf - apparently not.

"Did that make it harder to run?" I asked.

"No, not really. It's just a little annoying."

"Oh."

He opened the bag and pulled out a smaller cloth cooler, a table cloth, and two glasses.

Before I had time to blink - much less offer to help - the table cloth was spread out over the wildflowers and grass, somehow laying totally flat. Two plastic plates sat across from each other, each laden with a gourmet-looking array of foods. One contained gourmet-style sausages in their own little buns. Another was adorned with delicious-looking chocolate-covered strawberries. A bowl of potato salad and a jug of milk rested between the two plates.

It all looked delicious. He carefully set out two wine glasses, one in front of each of us.

"Wine glasses?" I raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"For the milk," he said lightly, his mouth lifting into his incredible half-grin.

"That's a new one," I said, laughing.

He shrugged, "They're classier."

I laughed again, and he laughed with me. He seemed so lighthearted and free here; it was nice. If possible, if only strengthened the love I felt for him.

"Milk in a wine glass," I laughed, holding my suddenly full glass of milk towards him in the gesture of a toast, "To class!"

He laughed, and softly touched his glass of milk to my own.

"To class," he repeated, innocently serious.

Our eyes were locked into each other's as we each took a drink.

The gaze intensified.

I lowered my glass slowly, unable to look away. My heart was swollen. Swollen with love. It literally hurt.

He lowered his and cleared his throat, looking away. He began to pile the sausages onto his own plate, taking a few bites of them in between the shuffle. He ate an entire sausage in two bites.

He stopped before scarfing down another sausage when he saw me watching him.

"Sorry," he said, "Ladies first. Dig in." He pushed the center plate of sausages towards me.

I giggled.

"Classy," I muttered teasingly under my breath.

"You know it," he answered, once again in mock-sincerity.

I laughed.

I slowly removed a sausage from the plate, exaggerating delicacy, and nibbled a bit off of one end, trying to keep a straight face.

I met his eye, and his face broke out into the smile he'd been trying to keep off his own face.

I couldn't resist; my own straight face disappeared instantly; we both began laughing uproariously.

We watched each other as we laughed.

In a way, it felt unreal; as if this should have been a movie. It was too perfect. Our laughter died slowly, flirty Like there should have been music playing in the background, and it should have been in slow motion.

"You scrunch your nose when you laugh," he said soflty, suddenly serious. Our intense gaze from before reignited and strengthened.

"Yeah," I breathed.

I barely jumped when his face was suddenly inches from my own. He was next to me, holding me.

"Would you be grossed out if I kissed you right now?" he whispered.

I shook my head slowly, "You kissed me after I puked."

"Yeah," he said, his grin back, his intensity unwavering. He nodded a little, "You owe me for that."

"I thought you didn't mind?" My own voice dropping to a whisper.

"I didn't."

His face closed the distance between us, slowly. Our lips met again. My eyes fluttered closed. This kiss was slow, deep, passionate. But tender. I kissed him back, and my hands found their way to the back of his head, entangling themselves in his hair. I pulled him closer to me.

I wanted him; I wanted him with me forever.