Disclaimer: I am just a mere visitor in the sublime world constructed by the brilliant mind that is J.K Rowling. Anything that rings a bell is hers

Chapter 39

Ky's POV

I poured a smidge of the blood red substance into the bowl and tapped my wand to the ceramic surface, filling it up with water to dilute the potent Lamian Leave Sap as the demure sounds of Angelique's violin wafted over to me from her place on the scarlet armchair that sat in the corner of my lab, her eyes closed serenely as her steady hands ran the bow over the strings of the cherry wood violin with purposeful strides.

I turned, grabbing the jar of lacewig flies and pouring a little into the bowl to stew, I magically sealed the bowl and marked the date on the calendar Mi had hung up on the back of my door. The gentle sounds descended into mellower tones still until Angelique ended with her usual sudden stop by ceasing the movement of not just her hands, but what looked like every muscle in her body.

The small smile on her face widened as the intensity fled from her body and I couldn't help smiling in response as her misty grey eyes slowly opened, "Thanks Ky. I needed that."

I flicked my wand, summoning the Armadillo Bile for my next potion which I was doing for Mrs Weasley and Agnes back at headquarters since Sev had to leave on some emergency yesterday, "It really should be the other way around, that there was magical. I don't know how you got better from last year considering you were brilliant then."

She blushed as I began summoning the rest of the ingredients for the wound cleaning potion, "Ben's been making me play for him, it took a lot of p...p...persuasion, but event-tu-tually I gave in." She sighed and I placed my knife down, looking at her. She had been dating Benedict Copperfield for a few months now, and it was doing wonders for her confidence, helping her stuttering in particular.

"What is it?"

She brushed it off with widening her smile, brushing a strand that fell from her bun back into her pile of blonde, "It's nothing."

"Angelique." I stated sternly and she bit her lip which already was chapped from her previous session of worrying it.

"It's silly. I'm being silly. It's Anna Smith." My eyes narrowed at the mention of her name, she and her dim-witted friends had been bullying Angelique for a while, but I thought that had stopped. She held her hands up placatingly at the look on my face, " I'm pr-pr-probably just being silly. O-o-over reacting r-re-re-really."

"Do I need to remind the three little bitches what this big bad wolf can do?" She rose to her feet, waving her hands in front of me, her face flushed.

"No Ky. N-N-No. It's r-really nothing. A-Ann-Anna broke up with her b-b-boyfriend and is just be-being a bit f-f-f-orward with Ben. Ben say's I sh-sh-ouldn't worry though, n-n-othing h-h-he c-c-can't handle."

I caught the pestle that I summoned and gave her a stern stare, "Well he better be handling the situation, and not her, because then I would have to handle him, and he won't like it."

She blushed, "Th-Thanks Ky." Considering the events of the last Summer, I was particularly edgier when it came to infidelity... the thought reminded me of what I had initially come down to my lab to forget and I quickly started crushing the black beetle eyes into a thin paste.

"I'll let him know." She giggle, already more comfortable considering her stuttering ceased.

Just then the door to my left opened and Sev entered from his office, Angelique stepped out of the way in surprise and Sev's dark brows rose at the jumpy action, he opened his mouth but before he emitted a word of his deep baritone, she scuttled out of the room, waving goodbye to me awkwardly as she left with the violin and bow out of its case and under her shoulder.

"Your choice of friends never ceases to amaze me." I smiled, the first proper one for the day and placed the pestle down, I had frozen upon his entry, a rush of warmth flooding me at his arrival.

Someone I loved was finally back. Someone I loved was finally home. I didn't think as I flung my arms around the man, knowing how he felt about physical affection but I was too euphoric to even care. My eye muscles twitched as my grey orbs widened as I felt long fingers pat my right shoulder, once, twice, three times and then stopped. That was my dismissal and I stepped back, not wanting to push my limit which had been raised without me even being aware of it.

He walked over to my desk and peered at the contents that sat upon it, his back facing me. His raven hair fell forward as he leaned over the ceramic bowl in interest, "Lacewig flies in Lamian leave sap?"

I nodded, stifling the smile on my face. If our past selves just saw what happened... I think past Sev might have a coronary...

I picked up the pestle and resumed my work, "It's diluted Lamian Leave sap though, I didn't want to change the elemental properties of the lacewigs- "

"But you hope it would decrease the stewing time, twenty one days was always a bit much. And considering the recent increase in demand of polyjuice potion..." He nodded his head, looking up at me with tired onyx eyes that glinted with... was that pride? Was he outwardly showing that he was impressed? Was this really Sev?

He flicked his wand and turned away from my scrutinizing eyes, choosing a grater and having a go at the dragon horn, "I didn't mean to frighten your little friend away. I didn't realise you were tutoring anybody in potions." His large hooked nose scrunched up slightly at the notion.

I smiled, "Angelique? Nah, she just comes and plays the violin for me every now and again, it's kind of this mutually symbiotic relationship we have."

"Her mother was quite the cellist, Filius had always been fond of her, even when we were in school. Something about her being the next Celestina Warbeck."

My brows rose, "You knew Angelique's mother?"

"Genevieve?" He said with a small smile, "Everybody knew Genevieve." My eyes widened at the smirk on his face, something tells me that Juliette was the one that took after her mother. "Oh don't look so astonished Bane. I have been a teacher for fifteen years and had the misfortune of being witness to just how much sixteen year olds do know, feigned naivety is just insulting both our intelligence."

I giggled at the last part, "Both our intelligence? Admitting I am with intellect? Someone is in a good mood."

He turned away from the perfectly grated bicorn horn, "I've never doubted your intellect Bane. I have doubted your common sense though; you will find unfortunately that the two can be disappointingly mutually exclusive. Take Duncan Igleby for example, the boy is headboy, highest grades in the year, head of a number of time wasting clubs, yet he would probably lose a duel to a fourth year with good aim. About the only thing I agreed with Minerva is voting against the boy for Head Prefect."

I laughed, I had no idea Sev disliked Duncan. Actually, Sev's dislike for Harry kind of overshadowed the fact that he must actually dislike quite a few other students in general. "So let me guess, you wanted Aren Carrow to be Head?"

He whipped his wand and set the cauldron to the right temperate, "I didn't want anyone to be Head Prefect. Complete waste of time... Head Prefect... overrated title if any, glorified popularity contest. Plus, Carrow would make a horrible head prefect if he's anything like his aunt and uncle, blundering identical idiots I ever had the misfortune to meet, make Crabbe and Goyle look like geniuses."

I grabbed the dropper and added the horklump juice to the cauldron as Sev stirred as I then started adding the previously prepared ingredients, he lowered the heat and left it to simmer, glancing at his pocket watch. I always found it fitting that Sev owned a pocket watch, he sometimes felt like someone who belonged in a different era.

"Did your dad give you that?" His hand jerked slightly as he reached across the desk to get to the moondew jar... he didn't respond and I realised that I might have found my limit. "It's just, I heard that it's tradition that boys get a watch on their seventheeth. Mr Weasley got one for Ron." I sighed at the memory of Ron's birthday last week...

"This was a gift, but not from my father." His voice gave away no emotion, a characteristic trait of Sev's when he was talking about something particularly emotional. He didn't say who it was from and I didn't ask, adding a pinch of salt to the potion.

"What is it?" He asked softly.

"Nothing." I murmured, I didn't want to spoil the moment. It had been months since I saw Linus, Lenzo or Vez and weeks since I got to spend any significant time with Minnie and Nonno. Mi was busy with school and Teddy, Ron busy with Lavender and quidditch... Harry wasn't even an option... Draco hadn't spoken to me from Christmas and I was oddly comforted with the fact as I was too much of a coward to deal with the meaning of his actions on Christmas... for the better part of the past four months I had been alone...

"I didn't get along with my father." My eyes flickered up to him.

"You don't have to-"

"He wasn't exactly a good man, he was indulgent." I watched as the potion transitioned to a slight pink colour from its previous red.

"And your mum?" I phrased the question nonchalantly but I wanted to know so badly I had to contain myself by grabbing the edge of the desk tightly. Minnie had told me her life story, about her parents and even about her great loves, it was just Sev who was tight lipped about... everything and it only made me that much curious.

"My mother-"He corrected, "was an eternal wallflower. I didn't know her well, I'm not entirely sure if that is because there was nothing much to know or that she never cared to share, either way I didn't get my nose from her." He scoffed slightly, "So I suppose I should thank her for that at least."

I smiled, taking the hint that he was uncomfortable about the topic but he was kind enough to veer away from the topic rather than end it completely. I looked at my reflection in the shiny goblin made cauldron, I think I had my mother's nose... from what I remember of my father he looked a lot like Len and Len and I didn't have the same nose... I probably have her eye colour as well because my father had brown eyes, our hair colour was similar though, his a little darker... I wonder whether she was dark haired... for all I know she could be blonde like Nessie, or redhead like Harry's mother... maybe it's time I ask the boys about her... surely one of them won't mind giving me a memory... even if I am the reason she died...

"Bane?" I looked away from the cauldron and cleared my throat, Sev was scrutinizing me with his black eyes and I suddenly felt an idiot for bringing up this depressing topic. Parents. He continued staring and I turned away, drumming my fingers on the desk as we waited for the potion to come to a boil. He had been open with me... I should probably return the favour.

"It's just...you know. Like Harry," I shrugged, not having to look at him but knowing that whatever softness he allowed on his face disappeared at the mention of his name, "Everyone looks at him and is like 'you look just like your dad, but you have your mother's eyes.' And Mi looks a lot like Aunt Jean and I mean... it's just... I wonder..." I shrugged.

"It's quite normal to be curious about such things Bane. One day I am sure you will have your answer, but whatever she might have looked like, or been like. I know that she definitely would have been proud of you. It is impossible to be anything but."

I stared at the brown surface of the oak table and blinked quickly, trying to get a grip of myself. Sev was definitely acting weird but I wasn't complaining. This war seemed to bring both the best and worst out of people. He added the boom berries and I watched as the potion turned from pink to lilac.

"Bane." He cleared his throat as I flicked my wand to the ingredients, and they floated to their rightful place. "You're not... involved with anyone, are you?"

I turned and faced him, he was magicking the potion into vials, his stoic eyes on the task, "What?"

He sighed frustrated, "Do you have a boyfriend Bane! It's a simple yes or no question."

"Errr... no... it's a pretty weird question. And no. Why?"

He glanced away from the glass vials, somewhat relieved, "Well my sources are all over the place, and there was a particularly atrocious rumour of you getting back with Potter, I just want to make sure that it wasn't true."

I frowned, just one slight slip up and the rumour mills go haywire. My frown deepened at Sev's words, although never saying a kind word about Harry and my relationship and his over exaggeration upon finding out that we were dating initially, snarky comments aside, Sev never said that I shouldn't date Harry. His last statement seemed completely genuine and I couldn't help thinking that it didn't have to do with his dislike for Harry... or was I reading too much into it.

"Why?"

He raised a dark brow, capping the vials, "Why? I could probably think of a hundred reasons for you to never revisit the mistake, but I won't because it's unnecessary, right?"

OK there was that almost too concerned need for me to affirm that I was not dating Harry, "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" He responded plainly.

"What's with the sudden interest in whether Harry and I are together?"

"Sudden? It's always befuddled me what you saw in the boy-"

"Yes, but you never said-"

"Because I know you too well Bane, forbid you from doing something and you would do it all the more."

I scoffed, "Forbid? Is that what you're doing now? You're forbidding me?"

"What? No." He stated agitated, turning to me, "I am merely advising you in the right direction."

"And the right direction would be in the opposite direction of Harry?"

"Yes!" His onyx orbs dilated, "But I see now that it's fruitless because you are not involved with the boy and thank the Founders for it."

"Well what if the rumours were true and I was involved with him?"

He turned back to me, annoyance flashing on his face, "You said that they weren't." His voice was definitely edgier than usual.

"What's the big deal if they were though?"

"The big deal is that you shouldn't be romantically involved with Potter. He isn't right for you."

"And I suppose you know whose right for me?" And what's right for me.

"Nobody is right for you Bane! Least of all Potter. He isn't boyfriend material."

I scoffed, "Did you just say boyfriend material? Have you been reading Witch Weekly?"

He summoned a box with a snap of his wand, "I don't have to read that drivel to know what's what. Bane, you and Potter are not good for each other."

"I am so confused." I gasped out and he growled in frustration.

"Potter has a role to play in this war, and you will do nothing but get in his way. Yes, it's all well and fun when you're playing House in Hogwarts, everything is fine then. But when you leave this place and you will have to at some stage, it will be different and I just don't think you should waste your time-"

"Sensei, it's a whole year and a little bit since I leave this place and I don't think dating Harry would be a waste of time!" I snapped, swallowing at the honest words that broke my heart just a little more. What was wrong with me?

I did have no common sense, if I did I wouldn't still be in love with a boy that betrayed me. It's like my mind confessed truths that my heart just stubbornly ignored. What was wrong with me? Sev took a step back, his already pallid face dropping in complexion as it increased in complexity.

"You love the boy?"

"Wh..wh..." I didn't know how to respond, the conversation turned to an angle I wasn't expecting at all. What?

Sev turned and made for his office, "What if I do love him?" My voice heightened in pitch at the end, "What if I do? Are you never going to accept him in my life?" I hadn't completely given up on Harry, no matter how hard I tried a little dream that he would beg for my forgiveness... leave Ginny... want me back... I was a fool...

Sev's eyes dimmed and he exited, stopping at the half closed door, "I could never accept him, I would never truly accept any boy. Father's rarely do."

And with a snap he was gone, leaving me staring at the blank wooden door, utterly perplexed.

I hovered at the door, contemplating my next move. I stepped forward and then stopped, groaning in frustration, why did Sev had to talk to me today of all days. And why did he have to say I shouldn't be with Harry!

I looked down at the small box of vials, well I had to go in to leave this for Madam Pomfrey. I mean, she didn't say she needed it but I might as well stock her up with wound cleaning potion, you could never have enough. I sent Kinky with the remaining potion for Agnes which meant that I had to go to the kitchens to get them to her and I might as well bring up some treats for Ron since I was coming from the Kitchen's to the Wing... and I mean, how petty is it to not bring some up for Harry? Some might call it pathetic. I wasn't pathetic. I wasn't jealous. I wasn't going to be That Girl. And I wasn't a child who could get forbidden from doing things. Harry wasn't the forest, he wasn't dangerous. He wasn't dark. He wasn't infested with bad intentions.

I pushed the door open; I wasn't going to over think this. I didn't think when I had run in here after McClaggen knocked him out with the beaters bat earlier on. I didn't think how it would look when I got here faster than even Ginny. Ginny. Fuck. I turned around and made to walk back through the door. Ginny.

He was forbidden, not for being dark, or dangerous... but for being taken. Off limits. He belonged to someone else. With someone else.

"Miss Thornton?"

"No ." I snapped and the matron's eyes widened, she glanced at the two sleeping patients, jet black and fire red strands danced in the moonlight and then looked back at me, confused at my response. No? Godric this whole castle is going to think I have lost it.

"Are those for me?"

"Yes!" I added with much more enthusiasm than usual. Yes, they were going to think I was Barmy. "Wound Cleaning Potion. I thought you might appreciate some since I brewed some. And this was extra." I added, why did I feel like I was caught stealing something?

She smiled, relieving me of the potion, "I was actually running low, especially after last week." She didn't elaborate and I didn't expect her to, Madam Pomfrey was renowned for being a prodigious secret keeper and valued the students' trust more than enlightening others about gossip. "I suppose those aren't for me?" She added, looking at the two parcels that I had been holding in my other hand, a small smile on her face.

"Well, I thought I would just leave them for Ron."

"Of course, you're more than familiar with this place Ky, I take it you can let yourself out after you've given Mr... Weasley his gift?"

"It's not a gift, it's just some biscuits and cupcakes." I added defensively as she made her way back to her quarters.

I turned; I should just drop the treats of and go. Ron was snoring so I didn't really pay that much attention when I walked over to him, knowing it sometimes took ice water and an elbow to the rib to wake the boy up. Mi might hate that Harry had that book for potions, but we both were grateful that it allowed him to think so fast... bezoar. That was quite brilliant. I placed the treats next to the already empty box of chocolates Mi had left for him earlier that day and I covered his bare right leg with his blanket.

I walked to the drawer a few feet away from Ron's and left the parcel on it, ready to turn and walk away. I did turn, but I didn't walk away.

This was nostalgic, painfully so. My fingers twitched as his forehead wrinkled as a jet black strand tickled him, this was always the best him. Asleep Harry. I sometime's wondered if that's how Harry would look if he wasn't The Boy who Lived or The Chosen One. If he would look that care free... but there was something about those emotive yet haunting emerald eyes, the stubborn jaw, the slight crease at the tip of his right eyebrow...

I touched the pillow. I don't know whether I was just lonely but I suddenly had the urge to kiss him. To claim him. To do something forbidden. Life these past few months had been boring, and to me that was sinful. Boring was the depth of hell... Harry was never boring. Harry was enthralling, gripping... by Godric he smelt good... musky, manly... Harry...

I jerked back as he turned, right onto the hand that balanced on the pillow and my heart sped up, he was going to wake up! I realised a moment later that I was wrong, his eyes remained closed but his face nuzzled my hand... I could feel his cheek rest on the back of my hand and he let out a deep moan. Godric that moan... I needed to leave, I needed my hand back...

"Ky..."

Fuck. Did he say... did he say my name? He turned and his lips found the back of my palm and the meeting of soft flesh on soft flesh made my breath hitch, I should probably move my hand... he would wake up though... he took a deep breath and his lips stretched into a languid smile.

Oh Godric he probably would wake up from the mixed scent of all the potions ingredients I used, nothing got rid of the scent but time. It didn't seem like it was a displeasing scent though, I guess I did touch the boom berry's last and they did smell quite delicious...oh Merlin.

He just... did he just lick my hand? I felt the wet trail ascend... I should definitely move but suddenly I was frozen in shock... Godric Harry was... doing something with my wrist... and fuck that was doing something to... I have to go... it seemed all my organs were taking turns to ignore my brain as my hand remained stubbornly on the pillow.

I gasped, automatically moving towards the bed... what in the name... what was he doing...

Suddenly like a dousing of ice cold water it stopped and for a scary moment I thought I saw emerald green, but it must have been the nerves because suddenly Harry's back was to me as he turned, burying his head deeper into the pillow and I slowly moved my hand away...

Forbidden? Sev had definitely used the wrong choice of words...

A/N: So the conversation with Snape may be a bit confusing, just a reference to canon, remember that he was privy to what Dumbledore planned for Harry by this time, and who would honestly want someone they cared for to have that obstacle in their future. He knows too well what it is to love someone just to have them die on you...

Feedback as always will be appreciated

Kalina