Disclaimer: Agii Apostoli was a bust. Very beautiful but no Eros. So I'm off to Pyli. There's a rumor that he was seen there and he was with his aunt, Artemis. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm not a virgin. Also have a lead as to where Mt. Olympus is, in the middle of the Aegean Sea, if this one doesn't pan out. I'll keep you posted but until then I guess the BBC can keep their money and Sherlock and his associates.
A/N: I don't like Hermione. At all. Well, that's not quite true. Allow me to rephrase: I don't like canon Hermoine. She's bossy and rigid. She also thinks she's smarter than everyone around her in her age group simply because she reads more and remembers what she reads. While I myself am a bibliophile I know that books have nothing on life. Experience is a better teacher than any written account. I realize that in real life Sherlock would be better able to tolerate her…maybe but not here. Sherlock has just learned that magic is real and so he now thinks that anything, ANYTHING is possible. He will continue to believe that unless and until it's proven wrong. With Harry and Luna being his main contacts in the Wizarding World I think he will continue to believe that if he can think of it then it can be done.
Hermione
Chapter Summary: Harry and Luna have returned to 221b Baker Street and this time they brought a friend. How will Sherlock deal with a woman who thinks she's smarter than he is?
The sudden knock on the door startled him even though he'd been expecting it. Sherlock had been waiting rather impatiently since he'd woken at five for Harry and Luna to come back. They had said they'd be here in the morning and it was an agony to wait so long. John had disappeared to the store for milk an hour ago to escape him. He knew he'd been irritating but he couldn't seem to help himself.
It was now nine and from the sharp rap of that knock they had finally arrived. Only Harry could have given the wood that kind of hesitant and yet firm treatment. He was unsure of their welcome and yet knew he would be allowed in. Why was he unsure? It made no sense.
Sherlock jumped from the sofa; boredom long forgotten in the excitement of new knowledge and a case that would surely be interesting. With people like Harry and Luna it couldn't be anything but interesting. He strode to the door and nearly frowned when he heard Mrs. Hudson greeting them. They were here to see him not her. Sherlock had always been a bit possessive. He wouldn't allow his landlady to keep the visitors to herself. She was such a trial sometimes…even if he did feel something like affection for her. He'd never tell her that though. She'd be completely insufferable then.
"Good morning, dears," came Mrs. Hudson's bright voice from the hallway below. "How are you? Have you come to see Sherlock and John again?" Such an idiotic question. Why else would they be here? Honestly, the human race was so oblivious. "Oh, and you've brought friends! How lovely!" Not lovely, Sherlock scowled and disagreed mentally. Sherlock wanted to talk to Luna and Harry, not their friends. Well, maybe if their friends were magical as well…that might be alright. Then again it would detract from his study of Luna and Harry and he couldn't have that.
"Good morning Mrs. Hudson," said Luna's dreamy voice. "We're fine, thank you. Yes. And this is Teddy, Harry's godson and John's nephew. That's Hermione, our friend." Oh, yes! Now he remembered. Harry and Luna had promised to bring John's nephew around. Hermione was the friend that had sent the pair to him. Excellent! Another magical person to observe. He just hoped this Hermione was as interesting as Harry and Luna. Sherlock hadn't liked much that John had told him about the magical world but maybe certain people would be alright. And Teddy was John's nephew. He had to be at least as interesting as his uncle. Well…maybe not that interesting as no one could compare to his blogger.
"And aren't you the cutest little boy?" Mrs. Hudson cooed in that way that women do over something they find adorable, usually babies and small children or fuzzy animals. "Come in. Come in." Sherlock opened the door to the flat just enough to see the hallway downstairs and had a clear view of Mrs. Hudson urging them into the hallway. Well, at least she hadn't kept them on the stoop like she sometimes did.
"Not cute. I Teddy!" A childish voice piped up in shrill, irritated tones. Sherlock's eyes found the child and he immediately wondered why, if the boy was John's nephew he looked so much like Harry. He had Harry's dark hair, green eyes and high cheek bones but Luna's strong chin. Were they in some way related to John and his brother? Wouldn't John have mentioned that when he'd told his story? "I not little," the boy continued with a fierce scowl. "Big boy. Free." The little boy stamped his foot in irritation as he held up two fingers. He was rather cute, Sherlock decided, even if he couldn't count and didn't look anything like his John. Genetics could be very cruel anyway.
"Edward Remus Lupin!" Another shrill voice screeched, this time a female and much older than the child. Sherlock knew somehow that that was not a sound that could have come from Luna. She wouldn't have the capacity to make such a noise. A quick glance at the rest of the group and he identified the speaker. He blinked in a little bit of shock. She was very much unlike either Harry or Luna. The voice belonged to a woman with bushy brown hair and a stern face. How could she be a friend of the two people he'd met the day before? They couldn't possibly have anything in common beyond the possibility that she could use magic as well.
Sherlock wasn't so sure that she would be any fun to observe but looks could be deceiving, just look at John. John looked like a nice, normal and boring man but he was descended from a line of magic users and he was one of the most dangerous individuals Sherlock had ever met. He'd give this Hermione a chance if only because she was only one of three magical people he'd met. "Apologize to Mrs. Hudson. That was very rude." She continued in a bossy sort of voice that grated on Sherlock's nerve endings. He nearly rethought his decision right there. He did not want to have to deal with a person that was capable of having that sort of voice with such little provocation. Teddy was a child. A small child. Allowances had to be made for little humans.
"Teddybear, have the Lustionan Figulars eaten one of your fingers?" Luna's voice was slightly anxious as she interrupted Teddy before he could say anything. She quickly kneeled in front of the little boy and pulled his still outstretched hand towards her eyes. Her frown seemed very out of place on her normally calm face as she quickly inspected his hands. "You seem to be missing one." She frowned even more and seemed at a loss about what to do.
The boy looked alarmed for a moment as he too inspected his fingers and then he smiled as the third finger slowly rose to join the other two. He nodded to himself satisfied. "No Auntie Luna. They all there." He grinned up at her with a cheeky smile.
Luna put her hand over her heart in an attitude of supreme relief. "Good," she patted his hand. "I was worried. Lustionan Figulars eat the fingers of boys that stomp their feet, you see." She stared at him seriously and seemed to be trying to communicate something to the child without actually saying it.
Teddy frowned with a tinge of shame and fear, Harry covered his mouth with his fist to hide the grin that was creasing his cheeks, Mrs. Hudson smiled indulgently with the knowledge of a mother and Hermione scowled at the pair. "I sorry, Mrs. Hudson," Teddy said contritely and not a bit fearfully as he warily glanced about the room for the elusive Lustionan Figulars. "I didn't mean to be rude. But I not cute. I Teddy." He seemed slightly frustrated that he couldn't quite make the adults understand the complete incongruity of the statement.
Mrs. Hudson stuck her hand out to shake the boy's the indulgent mother's smile still on her lips. "Are you not allowed to be both?" She asked him with a trace of seriousness.
"No." Teddy frowned and shook his head adamantly then stuck his own hand out and grasped her fingers in his own tiny hand. "I only Teddy," he insisted.
Mrs. Hudson giggled and nodded her acceptance. "Very well, Teddy. It's very nice to meet you." She waved the others towards the stairs and Sherlock quickly clicked the door shut and took a few steps away from it so they wouldn't know he'd been eavesdropping. Though he had a suspicion that Luna and even Harry might have already known. That was alright though. They wouldn't say anything about it.
There were loud footsteps coming up the staircase. Sherlock found this very strange as the day before he'd been nearly unable to hear them. Why were they trying so hard to pretend they weren't as quiet as they actually were? Moments later there was a sharp rap on the door. Sherlock easily schooled his expression into indifference and opened the door with a woosh.
"Hello Sherlock Holmes," Luna said before he could even open his mouth to greet them. "We're sorry to have kept you waiting. Teddy's grandmother insisted on feeding us and we couldn't turn away Gran Andi's food. Had we known you'd been up and waiting so long we'd have come right over." Her earnest eyes bored into his and he felt a little intimidated by this young woman that seemed to know so much.
"Hello Luna Potter," he returned and felt the edges of his mouth creeping up in a smile against his will. She might intimidate him a little but there was just something about Luna that made him feel light and happy. He wasn't sure how he felt about that yet but there wasn't really anything he could do to prevent these strange emotions from existing. For now, until he could find an explanation for them, he would ignore them. "Won't you come in?" He invited as politely as he could manage. John's lessons on manners were stored in his mind palace even if he rarely gave them any kind of thought. "How did you know I'd been waiting for you?" He wondered if there was some mystical spying spell or if Luna was actually like him and had deduced it. He was positive it was the second option but he wanted to see if she'd admit it.
"Thank you," Luna said with the same tone of polite formality that he had used and walked past him toward the chair she'd sat in the day before. She sat down easily and folded her hands in her lap. She eyed the ceiling with a frown for a moment and then her expression cleared back to its normal dreamy look. She cast a small glance at Hermione and then looked back to him. Why was she looking to Hermione? Was she worried about something Hermione might say? "The Nargles told me you'd been up since five waiting for us," the utter sincerity in her voice made Sherlock wonder if there were even more creatures in this world that he couldn't see than he'd thought there were. "Unfortunately they waited until you'd opened the door to tell me." And that statement right there proved to him that she was just like him with her ability to deduce things. She just preferred to couch her observations in imaginary creatures. At least he hoped that was the truth. He didn't like the thought of invisible creatures inhabiting his flat.
Before he could ask her about the frown at the ceiling or even greet Harry and the child, the bushy headed woman was grabbing his hand and shaking it with a will. "Don't listen to Luna, Mr. Holmes. Nargles don't exist." She told him confidentially with a roll of her eyes towards the other girl. Then she focused on him again with a laser like intensity. "It's so nice to finally meet you Mr. Holmes," she said, still shaking his hand, her grip far too tight for his comfort. He didn't like to be touched in the first place and she hadn't even paused before putting her hands all over his. "I've followed your website for years. It's very interesting though I do think you shouldn't exaggerate quite so much," her tone took on a scolding note that made him wonder how easy it would be to drop her in a vat of acid. "I mean really! Who's going to believe that you can actually deduce an airline pilot by his thumbs? I certainly don't though I can see how one could come to the conclusion that it is possible. But my thumbs though possibly smaller are just the same as Harry's. They're only thumbs, Mr. Holmes."
Harry made an aborted sound in the back of his throat. Sherlock simply stared at the woman in shocked and appalled horror. No one…NO ONE had ever been so very rude to him. He'd been shot at and numerous people had been offended by him but no one had EVER had the temerity to insult him in such a manner. He opened his mouth to blast her with a few choice words but she just…kept…talking.
"I've also had a look at your colleague's website but it's not quite so interesting," she gave him what he decided she thought was a conspiratorial look. "I mean so much flowery prose and he praises you so much one would think you were the second coming of Christ!" She let out a disbelieving laugh and Sherlock immediately wanted to defend the website that he constantly disparaged. That was different though. He could insult John all he wanted but no one else was allowed the same privilege. "He sees you through rose colored glasses that don't leave room for the obvious mistakes you've made in your deductions. Anyone could have known that a board across the windows would have kept out robbers so it must have been something else," she nodded to herself and ignored the hand Harry had put out to try and get her attention.
"Do you actually know how to tell over 100 different kinds of tobacco simply from their ash?" She continued oblivious to the reactions of everyone around her. "I don't really believe that's possible, I mean honestly. Are there even one hundred types of tobacco? But then, everyone lies on the internet don't they? No matter how smart you are the lure of no one knowing you can lead to exaggerations and lies."
During her longwinded speech, in which she hadn't seemed to take a single breath her grip on Sherlock's hand had tightened just a little bit more every time he'd tried to withdraw it. Sherlock's indifferent expression had slowly darkened as the tingles in his hand grew and her insulting comments continued. At the moment he was simply waiting for her to finish so that he could have his say and toss her, hopefully literally, from his flat. John would forgive him.
From the corner of his eye Sherlock saw Luna sigh and shake her head while Harry, who was still standing behind Hermione, rubbed at his forehead with one hand while the other held onto Teddy's hand. Teddy glared with eye's exactly the color of Harry's…hadn't they been gray a few moments ago? Sherlock shook the thought off as preposterous. Teddy was glaring at Hermione as though she'd stolen his candy and tugged at Harry's hand so that he could try and squeeze past the brown haired woman. "Hermione," Harry began with a frown of disappointment.
"Of course, Dr. Watson's website also details all those cases that you help New Scotland Yard with." She shook her head in a way that Sherlock found mocking. "Yours doesn't. I quite like reading about those even though I'm sure he's probably exaggerating and I'm quite sure some of those stories are classified," she frowned in censure for the absent John and Sherlock tried to wrench his hand free of hers. She didn't even notice. As soon as she stopped talking he was going to blast her, he told himself. No one was allowed to say such things about his John. John would never give out classified data. But the woman was still going on and on and on. "And I'm sure if one looks at the stories close enough then one can pull the truth of things out. I mean I can't really believe that you found that cabbie simply because he was someone that everyone trusted. That's just silly, isn't it?" She laughed and shook her head at the seeming stupidity of such vague grounds for investigation. "And how in the world could anyone get 'Rachel' from 'Rache'? It makes no sense but then Dr. Watson does seem to be quite enamored with you and one must always allow for blinkers when one is in love." She gave him a smirk as though she shared a secret with him that no one else was privy too. Even had that been the truth he'd never allow her to know. And John was straight. Stupid bint. "You and I know the truth of it though, don't we? It was quite clever of you to figure out the code for the Blind Banker case but I'm sure it wasn't nearly as difficult as Dr. Watson made it sound." Again she shook her head and shared that knowing look with him. As though they were above everyone else and should join forces in laughing at the little people.
Sherlock finally wrenched his hand free from her grip; he brought his aching fingers to his chest and covered them with his other hand in protection. He knew his own gray eyes were shooting fire at the infernal woman though she seemed completely oblivious. "Madame, you were cutting off my circulation." He said as coldly as he could…a tone John had been known to say would make the absolute zero of space seem like a balmy day in the Mediterranean. He drew a breath to rebuke her false assumptions but she carried on before he could as though his tone were unimportant. As though she couldn't tell that he was glaring at her and coming up with interesting ways to injure her accidentally on purpose.
"I'm terribly sorry," she said and a flush of shame colored her cheeks though her eyes never wavered. "I'm simply so excited to finally be meeting you and I guess I got carried away. It's just that I've been following your website for years whenever I could and I've learned to apply your methods and I'm just so happy to finally meet you. I know that some of your methods don't actually work but still enough of them do that I'm very impressed." Once again she didn't seem to need to breathe.
"Excuse me?" Sherlock bit out his voice cold and his eyes snapping fire. She was insufferable. "All of my methods work." They were tested numerous times before they were ever recorded on his website. He was a scientist. She frowned and opened her mouth to no doubt tell him which ones she felt did not but this time she was interrupted.
"Merlin, Hermione!" Harry exclaimed quickly from Hermione's shoulder before either of them could begin a rant at the other. He placed a hand on her back and gave a light push. "Could you leave the man alone long enough for Teddy and I to say hello and get through the doorway?" His voice was just the right note of exasperated that Hermione jumped and stared at him for a moment as though she'd forgotten he was there.
"Oh! Sorry Harry," Hermione moved to the side, as Sherlock wouldn't budge from the doorway, to make room for Harry and Teddy. Harry gave Sherlock a sheepish smile. Sherlock found that irritating. Harry shouldn't be apologizing for this stupid chit. He opened his mouth to inform all and sundry of this very fact but Harry was faster. In an effort to forestall an argument he could feel in the air he took Sherlock's elbow and lead him into the parlour and away from the bushy haired menace so smoothly that they were halfway across the room before Sherlock even registered that they were walking.
Sherlock gave him a knowing look but decided to say nothing of the sneaky move. He rather appreciated it actually.
"Morning, Mr. Holmes," Harry said with a cheerful smile that didn't quite reach his emerald green eyes. Sherlock found that very sad. Harry had been so much more relaxed the day before. If he hadn't already decided that he didn't like Hermione whatever her name was he would have made that choice now. "John get called into the surgery?" His attempt to pull the conversation away from the idiot woman's hands was laughable even though it was effective.
"Oh Harry," Luna laughed lightly before Sherlock could answer him. "He's just stepped out to get milk." She held her hand out to Teddy and the little boy raced to her and climbed into her lap. She leaned down and whispered something to the boy that had him nodding and staring intently around the room.
"How could you possibly know that, Luna?" Hermione asked shrilly and Sherlock resisted the urge to cover his ears at the sound. Teddy had no such compunction and he covered his ears and glared at Hermione out of his gray…wait…what? Weren't they just…?
Luna giggled and wrapped her arms more securely around Teddy as he craned his neck to stare up at the ceiling. "You're the one that says she can apply Mr. Holmes's methods of deduction so you tell me." Sherlock only kept a vague ear tuned to the two women. Most of his attention was on the little boy whose black locks had taken on a tinge of blond highlights. What in the world was going on with the child?
Teddy's eyes left the ceiling and caught on his. The little boy gave him a grin as mischievous as any John had ever had. Without a sound he glanced to an empty milk carton on the table in the kitchen and shrugged.
Sherlock hid his grin at the actions of the child. Luna had obviously spotted the clues, whispered them to Teddy and the two of them were simply applying their own deduction skills. Though he was fairly sure Teddy had needed a bit of a nudge to come to the correct conclusion. He was only three after all. He could feel excitement creeping in his chest. Finally someone who thought and saw the same way he did. He thought he'd never meet anyone else that could observe so much and actually apply those observations to real life. Mycroft didn't count. He had proven himself to be a bit stupid. He accepted what other people had told him about the magical world without checking his facts. He'd lost any bit of respect Sherlock had even had for his brother with that mistake.
His attention was brought back to the room when the stupid bint made a huffy sort of noise. Hermione scowled again at nothing in particular. "There is no possible way to tell that Dr. Watson's gone out for milk," she stated confidently with a sharp nod to herself. Completely ignoring or not observing the all too obvious clues.
Luna shook her head and shot a pitying look towards Hermione. Harry groaned loudly and Teddy covered his mouth to hide his giggles. Sherlock was tempted to follow the little boy's example but refrained himself in favor of listening to Luna educate the bushy haired brat. "No possible way?" Luna questioned quietly. "So the tea cup with stone cold tea and no milk or the obvious empty jug on the table are invisible to you?" Her eyes widened suddenly and she hugged Teddy more tightly to her. "Have you become infested with the Nicengora Roar Gnat?" She sounded faintly alarmed. "They have the ability to make you see only what they wish you to see."
Now Hermione flushed a deep shade of red and frowned. "No, Luna, I simply thought that you meant something else." She tried to cover her slip though her eyes widened as she spotted the milk jug and the cold tea on the table by the sofa. She looked back to Luna and sighed. "Really Luna, stop with the creatures. It was enchanting in the beginning but now it's just annoying."
Sherlock knew then that magical people were just like everyone else. Boring and unobservant. He'd thought that maybe their magic gave them an edge over other people but he'd been wrong. Harry and Luna, especially Luna, were simply anomalies and would have been even without magic. Hermione was a petty, book smart know it all and nothing more. He longed to tell her everything he saw about her but he had promised John that he wouldn't deduce their guests without him there to smooth ruffled feathers and hurt feelings. Sherlock didn't think Harry or Luna would be bothered by his deductions but Hermione looked to be the type that was easily offended by the truth. He wondered again how in the world Harry and especially Luna could have ever become friends with her.
Still Sherlock couldn't stop his snort of derision. "It seems magical people are just as boring as everyone else," he muttered, his only concession to the knowledge raging in his mind. He flopped down on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling, his earlier excitement waning at the reality of the Magical World. It would be less boring and more useful to look for the Light Warblers again. Anything would be better than conversing with the bushy haired chit. Unfortunately it was cloudy outside and so even his intense concentration could not bring forth the Light Warblers, still it was far more interesting than Hermione was proving to be.
A small hand patting hesitantly on his arm brought him out of his brooding and he turned to look at the little boy that suddenly looked a great deal like him. "Amazing," he breathed out finally giving voice to the thoughts swirling in his head. "How did you do that?" Hadn't the child looked like a mix of Harry and Luna only moments before? This was an incredible magical talent. Could any magical do it? So much knowledge to uncover. He truly couldn't wait to start but there was no way he was going to ask all of his questions with the repressive Hermione around to scoff and sneer.
Teddy gave a half shrug unable to explain something that to him was completely and totally natural. He'd always been able to change how he looked. "May I see too?" He asked very politely in an effort to get what he wanted. "Auntie Luna says that you have lots of Light Warblers and I wanna see them."
"Luna!" Hermione cried out in a loud and once again shrill voice. "You really need to stop filling Teddy's head with such nonsensical stories." She strode across the room and sat in a chair that faced the rest of the room. Neither he nor John ever sat there. It was uncomfortable and he wasn't even sure why they still owned it. Maybe it was for Mycroft.
"How are they nonsensical?" Sherlock asked placidly as he reached over and picked Teddy up gently and set him with his back against his chest so they could both look for the Light Warblers. "I don't think we'll see any today," he confided to the boy quietly as he patted his chest absently. "I think they like the sunlight."
Teddy nodded with the heavy kind of sigh that only small children can give. "Still wanna look," he said stubbornly. He caught Sherlock's hand with his own small ones and tangled their fingers together in knots. Then he extracted his own and did it all over again. Sherlock let the boy play with his fingers. It was rather soothing.
"Me too," Sherlock answered in the same quiet tone. Teddy's form on his chest was comforting and warm. He'd never really realized exactly how calming holding a child could be. He nearly forgot about the confrontation with Hermione.
"Maybe we will be as lucky as Unca Harry," the boy said blithely. "He's really lucky, he's still alive."
"Pardon?" Sherlock raised one eyebrow even though he knew Teddy couldn't see it. The easy way the boy claimed his uncle's continuing living state was evidence of the frequency with which he heard that phrase. Why would they say such things around a child?
"Unca Harry says he should be dead a hundred times over but he's really lucky and so he's still breathing," Teddy seemed supremely unconcerned about the precarious state of his uncle's existence. That proved that he didn't understand exactly what the words meant. Sherlock wasn't going to be the one to explain, not for all the interesting cases in the world.
That shrill voice pulled him forcibly from his thoughts. "They're nonsensical because things like Light Warblers and Crumple Horned Snorkacks don't exist!" Hermione insisted in a tone that said she'd been insisting on this point adamantly while he'd been otherwise occupied. Sherlock hadn't been paying attention to her. He'd had more important conversations to have at the time. Besides, Teddy wasn't nearly as boring as Hermione.
Sherlock, deciding that she'd just keep going if he didn't acknowledge her in some way, turned his head to look at her with a raised eyebrow. Her exasperated conviction had caught his attention; she truly believed what she'd said and he couldn't understand why. Why were Light Warblers so difficult to believe in? "Really? What about dragons? Or unicorns? Are they real?" He asked her. He wondered if she'd ignore all evidence of their existence in order to make her point or if she'd admit that some creatures really did exist.
"Of course they exist," Hermione cried out loudly in utter vexation, completely thrown by the logical question.
Sherlock shrugged serenely. "I've never seen them," he pointed out in his most logical tone. Then he went back to ignoring her and watching the ceiling with Teddy. He'd made his point and he really wanted to find the Light Warblers. Their obvious near invisibility was maddening.
"Of course you haven't! You're a Muggle!" Hermione exclaimed. Sherlock would have been insulted had he not known what that word meant. He still didn't much care for it but he didn't think he could change it and he really didn't feel like trying right that moment. Actually maybe he was insulted. He wasn't just any normal Muggle after all.
"Hermione," Harry said gently as he pulled a chair from the kitchen into the parlour and sat down on it. Hermione moodily moved over to sit in John's chair and Sherlock frowned but didn't say anything. He didn't think John would care for Hermione commandeering his chair but…she was a guest and John got funny about guests and manners and such. "Muggles can see dragons and unicorns and hippogriffs and Abraxans and Pegasi and many other magical creatures. He's trying to point out that just because you've never seen them doesn't mean they don't exist." Harry's voice was overly patient but Hermione didn't seem to notice that she was trying the tolerance of everyone in the room.
"And he's right," Luna nodded. "And even if the Muggles do see such creatures they usually pass it off as an hallucination or they forget or something. They'll find them one day though. A hundred years ago no one had ever seen an atom, and now the muggles have microscopes that make them visible. The Wizarding World still hasn't seen atoms." Her last sentence was thoughtful. "I wonder if we should tell them…not that they'd believe us of course. The purebloods would laugh at us, though that isn't really anything to worry about. Everyone laughs at me…well, not Neville." She eyed the couch where Sherlock was stretched out with Teddy with a hint of longing.
"Even Unca Harry?" Teddy piped up; his voice said he was grinning. Sherlock tore his eyes from the ceiling and tilted his head to see if he really was.
Luna laughed and Harry face palmed and he'd been right, Teddy was grinning. "Of course Uncle Harry laughs at me. I'd be very offended if he didn't sometimes." She finally got up from the chair and crossed to them. She gently ruffled Teddy's hair before sitting cross-legged on the floor next to the sofa. "Sometimes," she whispered seemingly to the two of them alone. "I do things specifically to make him laugh. Your Uncle Harry doesn't smile nearly often enough. He's much more handsome when he laughs."
"Does the magical world truly ignore the existence of something so basic?" Sherlock questioned in something like shock. How could they go about their lives in such complete ignorance. Atoms were something that even the dimmest of people knew about. They might not know a lot about them but everyone knew they were the building blocks of everything else.
Luna nodded gravely. "Oh, yes. They know nothing about atoms or electrons or protons or quarks or even gravity…not really. They realize that they can fall but they don't know why." Sherlock turned wide, horrified eyes to her but she had already turned her head back to Hermione. "So they haven't seen atoms and therefore don't believe them to be real. You seem to have caught the Wizarding World's 'seeing is believing' mentality." Her long blond hair swished as she shook her head sadly.
"That's completely different," Hermione protested but offered no explanation. Sherlock found her argument weak and brushed it aside. He'd seen that fanatical look before though and knew there was no talking her around. She had completely immersed herself in a world not her own and left all her learning and knowledge and drive at home. He could almost pity her…if he felt pity for anyone, which he didn't.
"That wasn't really what I was trying to point out," Sherlock said and ignored the fuming woman. "Though it is a valid point," he acknowledged. "I was actually trying to point out that she likely didn't believe that dragons and unicorns existed before she knew about magic. Now that she has seen the magical world and its contents she believes in dragons and unicorns and since they are presumably in books she would still believe even if she'd never seen one." It seemed perfectly logical to him and couldn't a people that could learn to become invisible learn to hide certain creatures.
"Besides," Luna said airily with a nod to him. She leaned a little closer and craned her neck to stare up at the ceiling for a moment. "They don't require your belief in them to exist. Some creatures do, you know?" She eyed him for a moment and nodded. "Not Light Warblers though or Crumple Horned Snorkacks."
"Creatures that need belief in them in order to exist?" Hermione asked faintly. Ahrry relaxed into his chair and shook his head. Hermione was never going to win any kind of argument with Luna…or Sherlock apparently and he was tired of stepping in the middle and soothing Hermione's ruffled feathers. He happened to believe that anything Luna said was true or at least possible. He'd believe her until they were proven wrong. Besides, he caught on to at least part of Luna's game. Some of her creatures were merely anagrams and others were transposed. There was no way he was going to ruin her fun though. "You mean like Tinkerbell?" Hermione continued with a pitying look at Luna. "You do know that's just a movie, don't you? You can't kill things simply by saying that you don't believe in them."
Luna turned back to her with an excited smile. "What's a Tinkerbell, Hermione? I've never heard of that creature. Where can I find one?" She asked the words quickly and with barely a breath. Finally, she thought to herself, Hermione is putting that brain of hers to some kind of use. But a glance at her husband had her frowning. Harrymine was biting his fist again.
"Tinkerbell is a fairy," Hermione explained slowly as though Luna was a particularly dim child. Sherlock had found someone else that he absolutely hated. How dare she speak to Luna in such a tone? "She's from a story called 'Peter Pan' by J.M. Barry. It's a children's story. She isn't real."
Luna frowned in disappointment more at Hermione's tone that at the information. "Fairies don't require belief either and everyone's seen one of them, well everyone magical." She gave Sherlock an apologetic glance. "I meant creatures like the Greek Gods or Father Christmas." She leaned back against the couch and let her hand drift to Teddy's hair while she stared upwards again.
"I believe in Father Christmas," Teddy put in quickly as though he was afraid Hermione's callous statement would cause Father Christmas to cease to exist. Sherlock poked a finger into his side in an effort to hear the boy laugh. It worked though Teddy's giggle was a bit high pitched. "Oooo! Look!" Teddy's voice was soft and awed as his small finger pointed up at the ceiling as a shaft of sunlight illuminated the room. "Do you see them?" He directed at Sherlock.
Sherlock followed Teddy's finger with his eyes and thought, once again, that he could perceive something on the edges of his perception. "Mmm," he said noncommittally. He should really ask Luna what he was looking for but he wasn't going to give Hermione the satisfaction of seeing him admitting confusion.
"Really, Teddy," Hermione sighed loudly, giving the ceiling barely a glance before frowning at the trio across from her. "I don't see anything." Her tone was repressive and a little cold.
"You can't see them from there," Teddy pointed out, unperturbed by her tone and the hard look in her hazel eyes. "Only from Mr. Sh'lock's sofa. Auntie Luna told me." His hands took up Sherlock's again and he idly played with the fingers while he stared upwards with determination.
"Very true, Teddybear," Luna approved with a nod that let her tangled hair caress Sherlock's cheek. He absently brushed it behind her ear again and continued to stare at the ceiling.
"I implore you; tell them you don't see anything, Mr. Holmes. It's the only way they'll stop this nonsense." Hermione nearly ordered, frustrated. She had pulled a lock of her hair free of its confining ponytail and was tugging on it absently.
Sherlock ignored her for a moment, formulating his thoughts. He wasn't about to admit he had no idea what he was looking for exactly. The sudden dimming of the light made him frown in a mixture of irritation and relief. He could tell the truth to a certain extent and yet he still hadn't had a chance to see these incredible little creatures. "Well, I certainly can't see them now," he told her in a snippy tone. "The sun's gone again."
Teddy gave a tiny disappointed sound of agreement and nodded against his chest but didn't move otherwise. Hermione sighed again, an irritated exhalation. "Do you know what the case they have for you is?" She asked archly with a smug look that Sherlock would have wondered at if he cared at all about what she thought. As it was the smug look only irritated him and made him more determined to do everything he could to push her away from his new friends. They didn't need her abrasive ways and complete disregard of the whimsical in their lives. He could give them just as much in the logical arguments category to keep them grounded as she could and he wouldn't crush their imaginations along the way.
Sherlock gave her a long look from the corner of his eye. "Searching out a creature," he said slowly as the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. That would be the only thing they'd need his help with and even then they probably could have gone looking without him. They wanted his company and that of his blogger's if he wasn't completely off his mark. They more than likely wanted to spend time getting to know John and this was the best way. Not to mention Harry couldn't stand the adulation aimed at him in the Wizarding World and could use a break now and again in the Muggle one. Yes, he would take their case and use it as a means to pick their brains for knowledge every chance he got. It was a situation where everyone…well, everyone important, won.
Teddy giggled and clapped his hands. "Yep! A Crumpled Horned Sn..Snorkack!" His now gray eyes stared up at Sherlock with awe. "How'd you know?" Sherlock really did like children. They were so open and honest. Children rarely grew uncomfortable with his deductions. He simply couldn't look after them for very long, he tended to forget that they were more fragile in both body and mind than their adult counterparts. He vowed to take very good care of this one whenever they were around each other. Teddy was part John and John was the most important object in Sherlock's world, not that he'd ever admit that part aloud.
Sherlock nodded happily to his newest accomplice. "Exactly," he said in agreement to the case. "I'm just that smart, Teddy. Besides it's the most interesting case I've had in ages. John says the criminal classes are on vacation or something and I've been so very bored. John dislikes it when I'm bored. I tend to…well…I'm sure you'll understand eventually."
Hermione shifted in her seat and huffed loudly. "Why are we here today if you've already told him what you want him to find and how did you convince him to go off on this wild goose chase?" Hermione growled out in something like astonishment mixed with annoyance. Sherlock nearly rolled his eyes but he was ignoring her, he reminded himself.
"Ooo! Those are fun!" Luna cried delighted. She rocked back on her heels and grinned brightly. "Maybe if Sherlock Holmes allows us to search with him sometimes we can have one! I love chasing wild geese!" She gave Sherlock a pleading look and he smiled his acceptance though he'd never done anything so frivolous in his life and he didn't know why he'd allowed her to talk him into such an activity. Chasing wild geese, he wondered at himself. Still…it would be interesting anyway. Wild creatures were unpredictable.
Harry, the only person in the room not pretending to ignore Hermione, did roll his eyes. "For one thing, you bugged us to bring you so that you could meet the Great Sherlock Holmes." The air quote were evident in his tone. "For another, we haven't told him why we want to hire him, Hermione," Harry said quietly with a small smile in Sherlock's direction. "Though I'm not at all surprised that he deduced it for himself this morning. He was a bit shocked yesterday when we were here and we didn't get the chance to inform him." He gave Hermione a sharp look. "And we were waiting for John to get back before we told him today. John is far more capable of dealing with any shock or outrage than we are." He sat back in his seat again and waited for the explosion he knew was coming.
"Harry!" Hermione, ever predictable, didn't disappoint. "You can't possibly think this is a good idea," her hands waved around her face as she nearly shouted at him. "He'll never be able to find one, as they don't actually exist, and then you'll have been throwing your money away! Your parents and Sirius didn't leave you that money to just throw it away." Sherlock thought she'd be shaking her finger in Harry's face if she wasn't seated across the room from him.
From the corner of his eye Sherlock saw Harry's unconcerned shrug. "It's my money," he pointed out mildly. "I'll spend it how I choose." His sudden grin was startling and so like the boy from the day before that Sherlock relaxed parts of himself that he wasn't aware had tensed. It was good to see that Harry was still Harry even when exposed to negative influences. "Besides, I think this'll be fun and far more interesting than getting a job that I'll hate and spending all my time in the Wizarding World dealing with fangirls and the mass stupidity. I—"
"Wizards and witches aren't stupid, Harry!" Hermione objected loudly in strident tones as she half rose from her chair.
Harry shot her a quelling look. "I think my parents would like to know that I'm spending the money they and my ancestors left me on something fun and I know Sirius would be pleased as punch at what I'm intending to do."
Hermione glared at him. "Wizards and witches are not stupid," she repeated slowly. "And Sirius…" she shook her head. "You know he was never quite right—"
"Everyone is stupid, Hermione," he countered, immediately. He had no wish to hear her judgement of Sirius. The man was dead and deserved at least a bit of respect for giving up so much of his life and then sacrificing himself for his only godson. He would not listen to any disparagement of the one adult who had never lied to him or let him down. "They'll only believe what they want to be true or what they are afraid is true. People are stupid." He nodded his head once sharply at the end. Sherlock rather liked that outlook. It was quite true he'd just never put it in those words before.
"I still can't believe that out of everything in those books that that's the part you focus on," Hermione grumbled and waved her arms around again as though trying to use the movement to emphasize her point. Sherlock felt it only proved that she couldn't maintain her argument with words alone and had to use distracting actions to cow people to her point of view. "I gave you that series so that you would see that all heroes have obstacles to deal with and your problems aren't anywhere near as bad as they could be."
Sherlock opened his mouth to ask the name of the books that apparently agreed with his assessment of human nature. He might actually like to read those. The faint sound of footsteps coming from the stairs interrupted him. He knew those steps nearly better than he knew his own now. The slight, nearly imperceptible hesitation as a foot lifted and the expected pain didn't come. John. John was coming back and he felt the strange sensation in his chest that he always did when John came home. He'd have to research what that meant soon.