Christian's POV

Flashback: Thursday – 8 days after Sera's discharge from hospital.

'Mr. Grey…' One of my secretaries started as she entered my office.

'Yes Samantha.'

'Mrs. Grey would like to speak to you.'

'My wife?' I asked surprised. She doesn't visit much. She likes to keep everything in place. Work for itself and private life as another aspect.

'No Christian.' My mother said as she entered.

'You can go Samantha.' I ordered as I stood up and moved towards my mother. 'What brings you here mum?' I asked her as I kissed her cheek.

'I need to talk to you Christian… and it's the best time.'

'What's wrong?' I replied as we both sat down on the office couch.

'As Sera's grandmother, I couldn't say anything. I had to get her to cooperate… but I can't keep this from you…'

'What is it?' I insisted, while she brought out some papers from her briefcase.

'This is what I mean Christian…' She replied as she handed everything to me.

'What are these mum?' I asked inquisitively.

'When Sera was admitted, we found cuts all over her arms…' She started while I pursed my lips. '…Christian, let me finish… I couldn't tell you earlier as a' patient doctor' confidentiality.'

'Fuck! Mum she's underage! She's not even 18!'

'I know Christian! I know… I took full responsibility of everything. I had to get her to trust me so she'll start therapy…'

'Mum you can't keep information from me or Ana about our daughter.' I replied angrily.

'…but you can keep pushing her away? Christian we both did wrong, but at least I tried bending the rules for her to listen.'

'…and what are these papers?'

'I've gathered some information for you and Ana to look at…' She started. '… Self-harm may represent itself in many forms, and it could be done for various reasons. In Sera's case it could be a cry for help… coping mechanism… releasing of pain…' She continued while I closed my eyes in pain. I couldn't imagine the pain my daughter was going through to take the knife and drag it across her arm. All to what… release emotional pain to physical pain?

'Mum… did you at least tell John about this?'

'Yes… and we've agreed to talk to her before talking to you… We wanted to give her time to get her to trust us. I made her a promise that I won't tell you unless she starts therapy.'

'…and what made you come and tell me now mother?' I replied as I stood up and paced along. '…you clearly made the decision before you even considered telling us about it!'

'Christian you have to understand… I know my judgement wasn't correct… but what did you expect me to do? I knew how you were going to behave! You make everything about you… you always were like that…'

'What am I supposed to do now mother?' I replied lost.

'Christian you need to treat this problem as a family… Ana told me you're trying to deal with this with tough love.'

'You and dad always worked on things with us three like that.' I reasoned.

'But you were different Christian… you never starved yourself… and you never cut! Tough love won't solve anything…'

'How… how did it get so bad? When did it get so bad?'

'Christian, we won't know that… John will be able to pinpoint anything at the right time.' She continued as she came and held me from my shoulders.

'What should we do?'

'You have to make her feel loved… I know you were still caught up on her for sneaking…'

'How can I not be mother? Look what happened! I have security and rules for a reason!'

'I know Christian… but she's a teenager!'

'I was one and Mia was too…'

'Have your father and I ever sat you with security 24/7 on your tail Christian?' She asked as she searched for my eyes. 'Christian, I know you're afraid to lose her…'

'Mum, I'm afraid it's too late…'

'Christian it's never too late… but she needs all the help she can get.'


My mother's words kept creeping back into my mind. I never realised it had become this bad. I closed my eyes in defeat, bringing back yesterday's thoughts. I told her about not wasting too much money on a coffin. What have I done? I don't want her to die!

Pictures of her face kept creeping with those of Ana. Both smiling and having the time of their lives. I remembered the time when we went on a cruise and she was still very young to comprehend the joy and beauty of the places we visited the art we took in. All she wanted to do was play in the pool. I remembered her dragging me and pulling me from my arm, until I went with her and taught her how to properly swim. Ana's face used to light up when Sera managed to get me all wet and messed up my hair. My favourite of all was when she pretended to be asleep, and both Ana and I bribed her for ice-cream to wake up.

We all used to crash in the living room watching movies and play games. I remember when we played hide and seek. Ana and Sera compromised on their tactics to throw me off, until one of them used to run to the column shouting 'Save All'. We had it all, until my screw up… I should have never let Elena in that day… Never! I shouldn't have contacted her in the least. What had gone into me to do that fuck up?

'Christian!' Ana said again as she brought me out of my thoughts.

'Hey honey…'

'Are you ok Christian? I've been looking all over for you.'

'I'm just thinking Ana.' I replied as she moved forward to my desk and turned the rotatory chair.

'I know that look Christian… What is bothering you?' Ana asked as she sat on my lap.

I remained in quiet for a minute, while she encouraged again. 'Come on… you know you can tell me baby.'

'Ana… we screwed up… I screwed up… We let our relationship problems come in between this family… it tore us apart…'

'Christian…'

'No Ana… let me finish… I've never been able to tell you this… but I think it's time…' I replied as I held her hands into mine. 'Ana, I swear to God, that Elena and I never done anything. Yes I called her, and the reason was that you were spending too much time with that… that 'fucker' of a Jack. I thought you were jerking him off… I thought you were cheating. I needed refuge… and she was there… a click away…' I started. '…but then I realized what I did wrong. She pulled me to her. I never wanted to cheat… I never wanted to hurt you Ana! You mean the world to me. You are everything to me… You and Sera are what I have left in my life apart for my parents, brother and sister… but you and Sera make my life complete… I've never felt happiness in my life since you've too filled it… Ana you taught me how to live and love, and then you gifted me with a beautiful daughter. You carried her for nine months. You loved her… you held her during the nights… you did everything… I used to come home to a child that ran towards me.' I continued with tears in my eyes.

'Christian… I've never heard you talk this way!' She said emotionally. 'Why have you kept this away for so long?'

'I don't know Ana… I guess circumstances…' I replied. '…but we'll make it through… like we always did… We're the Grey's family, and Grey's aren't quitters.' I urged.

'We may not be… but Sera… she is giving up.' She continued.

'Did she eat before she went to ballet?'

'She said she did… but… do you believe her?'

'She never eats…'

'Christian, what you told her yesterday…'

'I know Ana! I know… I did wrong… '

'Your words did shake her…'

'She's already shaken enough Ana! It wasn't my place to do that…'

'Christian you can always apologize…'

'Ana, our daughter is cutting… she starves herself… what makes you think that we'll erase this fact in an instant? Ana, we have to not let our arguments get between us… We have to communicate instead of fight… I'm tired of us fighting. We were made for each other, and we're throwing it all away.'

'Christian… this 'you' had been away for so long… I was giving up on you…'

'I know Ana… and I'm sorry… but we have to start a new page, and we're starting now.' I said as I sat Ana on her feet and pulled her from her arm making our way upstairs.

'Where are we going Christian?'

'Ana, I'm not having my daughter slicing herself up again any other time.' I stated as I opened Sera's door.

'Christian…'

'Ana… We have to… It is for her own good.' I replied. 'I'll take her room… you take her bathroom.'

We both started the search. It felt wrong going through her things. I knew how it felt when my parents did that when they thought I was doing drugs, and now I was doing the same things to my daughter...only for different reasons. I opened the second drawer, and it felt different. I moved her clothes and realized that the bottom of the drawer had some cracks. I removed all her clothes, and removed the base, and there they were. I found a diary and some blooded tissues. I felt my heart squeeze in pain, but for sure wasn't prepared for what Ana was going to find.

'CHRISTIAN!' I heard her scared voice from the bathroom.

'What is it?' I asked as I went in with the diary and the tissues. I realized she was holding a box. Ana's face looked like she had just seen a ghost. It was worse… We both were looking at self-destruction.


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