Disclaimer: I did find an Eros in Pyli with an Aunt Artemis but it wasn't the right Eros. Darn it! So now I'm off to find a boat to take me to the exact middle of the Aegean Sea. I'm not holding out much hope but I refuse to give up. Mark and Steve can keep their characters for now. I wonder, though, does Sir Arthur know that they've been taken from him? The wrath of a writer's ghost is a fearsome thing, you know.
A/N: I know the last few chapters were kind of…well, boring but they were needed in order to set the stage. After this one they should pick up as our foursome will be going off on their search but I can't promise anything. I get rather wordy at times and take pride in using a page to say something that should only take a sentence or two. Okay, not really pride but…well, you get the picture. Truthfully, until Becca, to whom this story is dedicated and written for, tells me the story is boring her then I'll just keep writing. Enjoy the chapter!
The Case
Chapter Summary: So now John's home. Yay! How will he react to Hermione? And just what is this case that Harry and Luna want John and Sherlock to take?
"Sherlock," John called from the door. "Are they here yet?" He stopped abruptly as he spotted the visitors. "Well, that answers my question. Hello all." He maneuvered the bags over his arms through the doorway and Harry hastily got up to help him take them to the kitchen. "Thank you, Harry."
"Not a problem, John," Harry smiled. He hefted the bags onto the table. "Show me where they go and I'll help you."
"That's not necessary, Harry. And not safe either," he smiled. "Some of Sherlock's experiments are a bit…um, volatile."
Harry grinned. "I know how that goes. Kreacher avoids Luna's workroom like the plague. Luckily she's left the kitchen alone though. Kreacher and Winky would mutiny if she messed with their kitchen."
"Sherlock's not trained that well yet."
"I'm not trained at all, John." Sherlock called out from the other room. "Wait! That's not what I meant to say!"
John and Harry snickered in the kitchen as Harry grabbed the kettle and filled it while John put away the groceries. "It's all right, Sherlock Holmes," Luna consoled him. "I don't consider myself trained either. Training is for dogs; we are people not dogs."
John looked around the parlour after he and Harry had put the groceries away and started the kettle. "Anyone care to tell me why I feel like I've walked back into the war?" He glanced at Sherlock but he didn't look guilty which meant he hadn't offended anyone yet. Had he said or done something he wouldn't feel remorse but he would at least look a bit guilty when John caught his eye if only because he knew his actions would have disappointed him.
Luna laughed so loudly at John's question that everyone stared at her for a moment except Harry and Teddy who were used to her sudden bouts of hilarity. "John, this is Hermione," Harry told him after Luna had abruptly stopped laughing.
Hermione stood and shook his hand silently. She was still reeling from the knowledge that one of her idols believed Luna, of all people, over her.
"And that," Harry nodded his head towards where Teddy still lay on top of Sherlock intently staring at the ceiling. "Is your nephew, Edward Remus Lupin, or Teddy."
Teddy turned away from the ceiling for a moment and waved half-heartedly at John. Sherlock tightened his arms around the boy and scowled before his expression brightened. "If he's your nephew and you're my blogger then that means that I have equal share in Teddy," he announced firmly. "Good. You can have him when we're done looking for Light Warblers…maybe. Do you like experiments, Teddy?"
"No!" John and Hermione yelled out together. Harry and Luna grinned indulgently. Teddy twisted his head about to look into Sherlock's eyes and smiled with a nod.
"Sherlock," John said in a dangerous voice before Hermione could begin her own rant at his flatmate. "You are not experimenting on my nephew. You are not exposing my nephew to any poisonous materials and you are not showing him dead body parts."
Sherlock looked affronted. "I wouldn't experiment on Teddy. Well, nothing harmful anyway." He gave John a fierce frown. "I thought we'd collect some of the Light Warbler's dust and look at it through the microscope. Then we could collect some other dust and compare them."
John flushed a bit in shame. "Sorry Sherlock." Then he blinked and gave Sherlock a hard look. "Any experiments involving Teddy in any capacity have to be cleared by his guardian or Harry though, deal?"
"Fine," Sherlock said sulkily. "Does that take care of your objections, Miss…?" He stopped realizing that she had never actually included her last name. The small diamond on her finger told him she was getting married soon and that her fiancé was either poor or a pinchpenny. Either or those or she was a pinchpenny which seemed far more likely. She took no pride in the ring as she hadn't even looked at it a single time while they'd been conversing.
"Granger." Hermione supplied quickly. "Soon to be Mrs. Weasley but you may call me Hermione if you wish. And no! You cannot own another person, Mr. Holmes. Surely you know this!"
Sherlock gave her a blank look and John chuckled. "Actually, Miss Granger, he didn't know that. Now he does. Though I don't doubt he'll delete the information soon enough. Besides that wasn't what he meant, anyway."
"What did he mean then?" Hermione asked heatedly. "I assure you I am neither a fool nor an idiot. I can understand the English language quite well."
John shrugged a bit and smiled fixedly. "Who knows with Sherlock but I'd think it would be something along the lines of Teddy belonging with both of us as well as his grandmother and Harry."
"That's the exact same thing!" Hermione declared loudly with a militant light in her eyes.
"Is it?" Harry asked calmly, coming to John's rescue. "So you don't belong with Ron then?"
Hermione flushed. "Of course I do…I just don't think a child can make the kind of commitment an adult can. Even then belonging and owning are two different things."
"I'll be sure to tell your children you said that," Luna giggled.
"The point is moot anyway as I only said that we would share Teddy and I know very well that one can share people. I share John with his job and his girlfriends all the time, even when I would rather not." Sherlock cut in. "You have no say in the matter, anyway. You are neither Teddy's relation by blood nor in any way responsible for him. He has also made his feelings on the subject quite plain." He ruffled the black hair that looked exactly like his own. "How did he do that by the way?" He directed the question to Harry and Luna.
"Teddy's a metamorphagus," Luna answered.
"And what does that mean?" Sherlock questioned when it was apparent that was all the information Luna was going to divulge.
"It's a genetic condition in which a witch or wizard has the capability of morphing their appearance to match that of another homo sapien." Hermione said quickly as though to prove her intelligence. "It's actually more technical than that but I think that describes the ability closely enough. And I doubt either of you would understand the magical theory."
Sherlock gave her a fierce scowl for the slight but let John handle her.
"Mmm," John neither agreed nor disagreed and cleared his throat. "So would it be possible to move on to why you need Sherlock's help?" He was interrupted by the kettle whistling. Harry again followed him into the kitchen and helped to prepare the tea. Once they were all settled with tea and biscuits in hand John looked expectantly at Luna and Harry.
"They want us to search out a creature called a Crumple Horned Snorkack." Sherlock told him in a serious voice. John raised an eyebrow but Sherlock had already turned his attention back to Harry and Luna. "If you would be so kind as to show us what one looks like I'd be more than happy to find one for you."
Hermione huffed to herself but otherwise held her peace. There was no way she'd ever convince them that Crumple Horned Snorkacks didn't exist. They were all insane and there was nothing she could do about it. St. Mungo's refused to admit the savior or his wife and she had no authority over Sherlock and John. She couldn't admit them to the psychiatric ward.
John sat in his armchair and stared around at them all. "I've never even heard of the Crumple Horned Snorkack," he admitted slowly. "But then I haven't been part of the Wizarding World in a very long time. Where would we even begin to look?"
Luna looked down for a moment, her posture radiating sadness. "I've never actually seen one either," she admitted. "My father thought that maybe they were native to Sweden. We were supposed to go on a trip there but the war broke out and we never made it." She looked up and seemed to shake off her morose mood. "Daddy said they look a bit like a sheep only much smaller with a unicorn's horn but it's smashed down closer to their heads and doesn't come to a point."
Harry cleared his throat to gain their attention and give Luna a chance to collect and compose herself. "We realize that this case could take a very long time and take you all over the world. We are prepared to pay you a weekly sum in addition to any traveling expenses provided you allow us to accompany you when we can. We don't actually care how long it takes. We also know that you are a very busy man at times and that there will be periods where our case has to take a back burner to others. That is also fine with us and won't change the sum we give you weekly at all."
Sherlock waved a hand at him. "Finances are John's department. Discuss that with him. Of course you are welcome to travel with us, if we find the need to. Probably will at that. If the Snorkack was native to the U.K. then you'd already know where to find it and wouldn't need us. Perhaps America. They've all sorts of strange and interesting things on the other side of the Pond."
"This is madness!" Hermione could hold her indignation in no longer. "Utter madness. Harry, you are throwing your money away! You and Luna are wasting Mr. Holmes's time and your own. Snorkacks don't exist! They're a fantasy! You have got to stop this insanity! No one will ever see you as a credible, reliable person again if you insist on this folly!"
"You mean they see me as a believable, reputed member of the community now?" Harry asked in a surprised tone. Then he waved a hand and shook his head. "That'll change soon enough," he said very quietly.
"Well," Hermione began uncomfortably; she hadn't heard his last comment. "There are a few with questions since you married Luna and there will be even more questioning your sanity when they find out about this silly search. Not to mention what they'll say when they find out that you're involving a muggle!"
Harry shrugged. "They've been wondering about me since before I was eleven, Hermione. Why should I care what they think?"
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "How are you ever going to join the Aurors or get any other job if the people in charge of hiring you think you're insane? That money won't last forever!"
Harry shrugged again. "I'd like to know how Luna and I can spend over a billion galleons in one lifetime. Especially when the interest alone accrues nearly a million galleons a quarter. I'm not going to get a real job, Hermione. No one would hire Harry Potter. They all want The-Man-Who-Conquered. I won't trade on my so-called fame that way."
Hermione sighed heavily. "Harry, you. Cannot. Go. Off. Searching. For. A. Mythical. Creature."
Sherlock rolled his eyes and then held his breath as another ray of sunlight lit the room. He and Teddy ignored the rest of the conversation as they searched the shaft of sunlight for the elusive Light Warblers.
"Why is it insanity and why can't he go off to find the Snorkack?" John asked Hermione with a mildly reproachful look.
"They don't exist!" Hermione screeched. "And he has responsibilities here that he shouldn't just leave to other people. Teddy needs a father figure and Ron needs someone to talk to and George needs someone to help out in the store. There are lots of people depending on Harry and they can't afford for him to just swan off to who knows where whenever he feels like it."
Luna gave her a sad glance and knelt beside Teddy and Sherlock to watch the Light Warblers. Sherlock scooted over so that she could lay beside them without even really paying attention to what he was doing. His entire being was caught up in the sparkles and dust motes dancing in the air.
"How do you know they don't exist?" John questioned. Ignoring the bit about the responsibilities, though he couldn't figure out how anything beyond Teddy and Luna was really Harry's problem. He didn't know any of them well enough to say that Harry was or was not needed by so many people. "Do you really think that some scientist just stumbled over the skeleton of a dinosaur and knew immediately what it was? Maybe the Snorkack is the same thing."
Hermione flushed, crossed her arms over her chest and refused to answer. She only glared at everyone around her before staring out the window and ignoring them. She couldn't believe they weren't listening to her. She knew that John had a valid point but she still couldn't bring herself to acknowledge it or believe in a being that no one had ever heard of except Luna. It had to be a fantasy.
John shrugged nonchalantly; he was too used to being pointedly ignored by a master at the craft to let this chit's attempt bother him. Instead he turned to Harry. "Finances?"
Harry quickly swallowed the biscuit he'd been munching on and nodded. "How's six hundred pounds a week?"
John's jaw dropped for a moment. "Too…" He swallowed. "Too much, Harry. Far too much."
Harry shrugged, a smirk playing about his lips. "I can go higher," he pointed out. "I'm not much of one for bartering. Take the six hundred a week or I'll put even more in your bank account without consulting you. The goblins have communications with Muggle banks and they like me. They say I have the spirit of a warrior and the heart of a banker. I'm not sure that's a compliment unless it's coming from a goblin though."
John's eyes widened; he knew enough about Harry and his father to know that Harry was completely serious. "Fine," he capitulated. "Only because I know you'll follow through with that threat if I don't."
Harry gave him a mischievous grin. "Yep! Really though," he said more seriously. "You'll earn every pence of it. Luna and I will also expect you and Sherlock to babysit Teddy occasionally. You are his uncle." He knew that would most likely grab John's interest. The man had been devastated by his brother's death even if they hadn't been close at the end and John hadn't even known of Teddy's existence before Harry had informed him.
"You say that like watching John's nephew is such a chore," Sherlock said suddenly from the couch. "We'll simply set him on the sofa and then we'll never hear another peep out of him." He nodded to himself. Teddy had been very well behaved so far and hadn't squirmed on his chest at all. He'd been completely enraptured by the search for the Light Warblers.
"I be good for Unca John and Mr. Sh'lock, Unca Harry, I promise," Teddy spoke up and stared earnestly at Harry. He clutched Sherlock's arm in his hands as though afraid he would suddenly be swept away.
"You should really run this by Andromeda before you start farming her grandson out, Harry," Hermione interrupted severely. She had turned her attention away from the window when Harry had offered Teddy as a bargaining chip for John to take the outrageous sum of money. "She may not want Dr. Watson and Mr. Holmes around her grandson." She frowned at the other occupants of the room. Andromeda was a sensible woman, she would see that chasing after mythical creatures and exposing her grandson to the people who would be taken in by such nonsense was a bad idea.
"Why would she object?" Sherlock wondered aloud. "John's a perfectly normal, boring doctor. And I might be a sociopath but I'm not that bad. We wouldn't allow anything too horrible to happen to Teddy. Or anything horrible at all, really. I'll keep the body parts in their various hiding places. Though, I don't see why he would mind them. Death is a part of life and my experiments assist in finding cause and reactions and maybe in finding cures to various diseases."
John snorted in laughter. Harry gave him a disbelieving look and even Luna slanted him a knowing glance. None of them believed his intentions with the toe nails and fingers and heads were honorable. He needed to stop surrounding himself with smarter than average people.
"I wouldn't expect you to understand," Hermione said dismissively with a slight sneer. "It's a Wizarding thing."
To Sherlock's astonishment, Luna gasped, John flushed with shame and Harry's countenance hardened to stone. Seeing the boy/man like this he could completely see why he was called The-Man-Who-Conquered. There was an aura of danger and menace around the seemingly gentle young man that had even Sherlock mentally taking a step away in case that anger was directed at him.
"I cannot believe that you, of all people, just said that, Hermione." Harry rose to his feet, his own sneer in place. Then his head turned and he gave Luna a soft smile though his eyes never lost the hardness of flint. "Lunalove, make sure Teddy gets home safely, won't you? I'll meet you back at the house. John, Sherlock, I'll be by sometime tomorrow or the next day with the contract for the weekly sum. Thank you for the tea." He grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her from her chair. "You and I are going to have a little chat, Hermione," his tone was as hard as his eyes.
"Let me go, Harry," Hermione struggled in his grip. "You're hurting me." Her brown eyes were wide and not a little shocked.
"I'm not," Harry disagreed and dragged her to the door. He pushed her out onto the landing ahead of him over her protests. Everyone in the room could tell that while he wasn't hurting her at all she was shocked and disconcerted by his behavior. "That's enough!" They heard him tell her firmly as he shut the door behind them. They heard a loud crack and then silence.
"Unca Harry mad." Teddy observed. "Cuz Auntie Herminny mean to Unca John and Mr. Sh'lock."
"Mmm," Sherlock hummed. "But what did she say to make him so angry?"
"She implied that as you and John have no magic you wouldn't be able to understand something and that Gran Andi wouldn't let you be around Teddy because you might take his magic." Luna said in a serious tone for the first time in Sherlock's hearing.
"Is that possible?" Sherlock asked.
Luna shook her head. "You couldn't take it and neither could John. Harrymine might be able to do it if he could find a spell for it or a ritual but he wouldn't." She sighed. "I can't believe Hermione said something so very mean. I have known her to have the ability to be very blind and cruel at times but that was…well, for her that was very bad."
"Why?" John asked. "It's not like I haven't heard worse."
"Hermione's a Muggleborn." To Luna that was enough of an explanation and Sherlock nodded thoughtfully. John merely raised an eyebrow. While some muggleborns integrated themselves into wizarding society they rarely became so bigoted.
"Drat!" Luna exclaimed moments later. "I just had the most extraordinary idea and Harrymine's gone."
"What idea?" Sherlock asked quietly. Any idea was a good one if it got that look off of John's face. Hermione Granger had hurt his John. That was unacceptable and if he ever saw the snide, bitter woman again he would make sure she knew it. Idiot woman!
"We should ask the Loch Ness Monster if she knows where to find the Crumple Horned Snorkack." Luna's voice was forced brightness but John's countenance lightened anyway.
"The Loch Ness Monster is real?" Sherlock blinked at her processing this information. "Oh, of course, it's a water dragon." John couldn't stop his grin at the thought of seeing a dragon, a real dragon for the first time.
"Very good." Luna praised. "She is indeed."
"Talk it over with Harry and maybe we'll go next week," John said eagerly. Then his expression darkened a bit. "You should probably take Teddy home now, Luna."
"Don't let what Hermione said bother you, John," Luna patted his arm. "Gran Andi is a very wonderful woman and she has no prejudices against Muggles or Squibs. Her husband was a Muggleborn and they lived in the Muggle World for years. They only left because Tonks couldn't control her shifting. Gran Andi will be perfectly fine with you and Sherlock watching Teddy sometimes."
"I hope you're right." Though he didn't sound as though he believed his own words.