Author's Note...

One guest asked me this 'I'm confused...Carrick is a lawyer - why is he inserting the tube?'

Fifty Shades of Grey's origin is truly a pure fanfiction of twilight. In my light, Carrick represents Carlisle, so I thought on leaving Carlisle's character alive in Carrick. As we all know, Carlisle is a doctor in the twilight series, thus merging Carrick with Carlisle, would bring out a better yet stronger character.

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Ana's POV

I couldn't stand in the room. She kept pleading… promising… I wanted to give her everything… but I couldn't… I've been blind for too long, and this is what I got… I trusted her… I never urged her to talk… and now she's fighting for her life… or to put it better, we are fighting for her life. She gave up completely… she doesn't want to live… she wants to do it on her own. I threw up in a nearby bin. She was skeletal… she barely weighed 70 pounds, and she still wants to starve herself.

'Ana…' John came from behind. '…are you ok?'

'Yeah…' I replied sadly. '… Sera isn't…'

'Ana, this affects all of you… and me also… but we all have to set our feelings aside for a second, and do what's best… right now she has to be inpatient on a feeding tube.' He continued while Christian joined us.

'Ana, are you ok?'

'Yes Christian… I'm fine… How is she?'

'She's drained out of energy.' He replied.

'Christian, Ana, what is it you do want?'

'I want my life back… I want my daughter back… What have we done to her? Why is she doing this?' I started, not knowing how to sort out my thoughts. 'I mean, it's not like we've abandoned her. We're happy… We're close… We always said everything to each other!'

'Ana, first of all, she's not doing this to you or to Christian. She's doing it to herself.'

'Ohh, and that makes it all better John?' I answered back in frustration. 'I don't think so.'

'A year ago, our daughter was happy, healthy… She had friends… a life!' Christian reasoned.

'I'm sure she seemed to be…'

'What does that supposed to mean?' Both of us asked lost.

'Like all eating disorders, anorexia nervosa is a complex difficult disease. I can't give you any easy answers! But I expect that the root of this problem goes further than a year ago… I need to talk to Sera, spend time with both of you… We have to work together to get through this.'

'How long will that take?'

'I don't know…all I can tell you is that we all need to have patience. However, I'd suggest you'd go home for the night… it won't help her if she'll see you this way.' He suggested.

'I'm not leaving her alone!' Christian argued.

'Christian, you need to care for her emotionally as well… it's no use if she'll see you both looking like crap… she has to know that she can depend on you… you need to be strong…'

'Who's staying with her for the night?' I asked while Christian ran his hand through his hair.

'I'll ask Carrick or Grace… They have a night shift… if anything… I'll stay… she's like a daughter to me…' He reasoned. His words made me think. Did we push her away for too long? Did we do this to her? 'However, I'd like you to search her room for more stashes of laxatives, diet pills… Anorexics don't hide everything in one place… they would probably scatter things around to throw everyone off. She may have hid them in her bathroom, closet, under the bed, under the sheets, even in your public bathroom… You have to pay attention to everything and throw everything you find.'

'…and how should we know where to search?' Christian argued.

'You won't… you just search… but for tonight… go and rest…'

Our drive home was quiet. We sent Taylor home, seeing as he had nothing to do. Christian held on to the steering wheel as if it was the last straw he had left to hold on to. His lips were pursed, but his eyes were filled with worry and fear. I never saw him that way. It was affecting him more than her… she just wanted to give up.

We wanted kids, and we were blessed with one… and yet, we've thrown away what we had… all the happiness, all the closeness… and now we want it back… I want it back… I want my daughter back, and my family back.

Christian finally made a breakthrough, and talked… he told me what he was feeling… he was ready to face everything in a different light… but I wasn't… I knew how I felt when I had my share of the eating disorder… but my parents caught it immediately… to me it was more of a peer pressure, wanting to be attractive to guys… but this… this is way different… this was eating me… us…

We soon went to bed, but sleep wasn't easily found. Christian seemed as if his head was cut off. Part of him was still left in the hospital. At around two in the morning, I jolted up awake, but didn't find him beside me…

'Christian?' I called, but I didn't receive any response. 'Christian?' I tried again, while I got dressed into my robe, and went downstairs.

I saw his office light on, and entered slowly. There he was, on his couch, with a book in his hand.

'Christian?' I asked again, this time getting his attention. 'Are you ok?' I asked as I moved and took a seat beside him.

'How can I Ana?'

'Why don't you come to bed and rest Christian?'. I suggested as I saw him engorged in what he was reading...

'See here' he said as he handed me her journal. 'Read…'

I started reading slowly, without realising what I was about to know…

Dear Bert,

Damn... Where do I start? There's nothing left anymore... My father prefers Natalie over me... He was disappointed that she's not coming to the get together... But when I texted him he said 'I didn't receive it...' But I knew he was lying! The delivery report was a proof against his lie... And then he rephrased his words 'to put it better… I didn't get it…'.

Wow... That's a great way of showing love to your own kid Mr. GREY!

My mother seems to be between us... She wants to stick up for me, but doesn't want to go against dad... I understand he is her love... The man that gave her his heart and she gave him his... And I was supposed to be the seed of their love... But I'm more of a thorn than a seed...

I wish I can have a real family! Taylor offered me to ditch school and have a day off for myself... After... (why can't I forget this! Dammit!) … It hasn't been long… At least that's what everybody's saying… But I don't care,.. As I told Taylor… I'VE lost too much already!

Gail on the other hand… Helps me with everything… She even spent her evening watching a movie with me… I wish they were my parents…

I'm selfish… If Taylor was my father, Natalie wouldn't be here because he wouldn't marry Lisa… And then the whole story would be different… Or would it be?...

I don't know… I should be glad I have parents…I should be glad I have someone…

Anyways…. I have to go for now… My parents arrived from Flynn… I'll write later…

Love, me…

'Christian…'

'…and there are plenty more!' Christian said as he closed it off, and set on the desk in front of him…'How could we do that to her? She's our miracle child...and yet we've treated her like shit...'

'Christian, as John told us… it's no use meddling with the past… We have to look forward.'

'How can we Ana? WE broke her… I pushed her away… She was raped, and I held on to the fact that she ditched our security… I couldn't see past that…'

'…but now you can Christian… We can't make this about us… This is her anorexia, and we have to help her through it.'

'What if she gave up Ana?'

'Then we have to give her a reason to stay and fight… Don't you want our daughter back baby?'

'Of course I do! I'd do anything to save her… even if it kills me…'

'Then we have to be better parents Christian… and we will be… we have a young beautiful strong daughter… this is our wake-up call… we have to listen to it…' I encouraged him.

'My father is staying with her… John texted me.' He replied.

'Good… then come to bed… we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow…'

Sera's POV

Grandpa still remained in the same seating position he had been since he came in. He said he wasn't leaving me alone… I felt a bit safe, knowing that at least somebody wanted me. After 5 hours from the night, and still couldn't sleep, I decided to get up slowly and move around, the best way I could, without waking him up. He looked exhausted… guess day shifts aren't that easy for doctors. Grandma on the other hand, still was on her night shift. She always told me how she hated them, but when she managed to help someone, she always felt the satisfaction of being a doctor… despite all the disadvantages of having to lose sleep.

My legs were heavy, and I didn't have the strength to move them off the bed, but I couldn't let this get the best of me. I'm way better than it is… I had to move around… I felt the need to do so.

The cold floor underneath my feet sent shivers along my spine. I held on strongly to the edge of the bed, while I moved around. I felt light headed, but the voice in me told me to keep going on. I moved towards the window, still holding strongly to the wall… my legs felt wobbly, and I was getting colder by the minute. Soon, my little night hike had to come to an end. I felt two strong hands on my shoulders, and I turned immediately to face him.

'Geez! You scared me grandpa!'

'Sera, you know you're not supposed to be up on your feet!' He ordered, as he held my hand stronger for support.

'I'm sorry… I just needed to walk a bit…'

'Next time wake me up…'

'You were peacefully sleeping grandpa…' I replied as he helped back to bed.

'Why don't you sleep?'

'I can't grandpa… I've tried… I just can't…'

'…can't is just a word Sera… You need to rest…' He smiled as he placed the covers on top of me. Even the littlest amount of weight, was hurting me. Grandpa went outside for a second and soon came back with a syringe and a tiny bottle.

'What's that?'

'It's something to help you sleep… You need it kiddo…' He replied while he switched on the lights. 'It's going to burn…' He continued as he injected it in into my system. '…but it will soon be over sweet heart.' He finished as he kissed my forehead and disposed of the syringe.

He came to sit beside me, and held my hand gently. Soon, I felt my eyes heavy, and I couldn't keep my eyelids open… I didn't realise I was already dreaming before I went to sleep…

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