Disclaimer: I am just a mere visitor in the sublime world constructed by the brilliant mind that is J.K Rowling. Anything that rings a bell is hers.

A/N: *Hides head in shame* So SORRY for the long wait for an update, been busy with uni work... any who here is the next chapter of Hallowed Life!

Chapter 45

Linus' POV

I stepped out of the fireplace and turned on the spot, the sound of laughter preceding my brother's entrance as he clambered through the ornate structure with a face splitting grin, his hazel eyes glowing amidst the dried blood and his hands finding my shoulders as he shook me in excitement.

"Fucking hell brother!" I rolled my eyes at his antics but couldn't help smiling as he let go of me, sauntering into the room, letting out a howl worthy of Remus at his peak transformation.

"I do believe congratulations are in order?"

The Old Man stood at his seat, his midnight blue eyes twinkling atop his crooked nose, my smile dulled slightly when I took the drink that he floated over to me with a flick of his right hand, the action drawing me to it's well hidden counterpart that remained tucked away in the scarlet sleeve. The occlusion did nothing to clean the memory of the blackened wreck from my mind and the golden glow within me receded as darkness crept in by the poisonous reminder.

"Fifty four! Fifty fucking four!"

Len dropped into a seat and gulped down his glass contents whilst he summoned the bottle with his left hand, the Old Man smiled at him fondly, not a chastising wrinkle at his grandson's ill refined language. "Ask him how many he got. Go on, ask him."

I rolled my eyes and took the seat next to the gloating fool, relinquishing his hold on the bottle with a flick of my wrist; the bottle hovered in between us as he smirked at me as he put up the fight for the whiskey, the boy really had issues if he saw a competition in everything. I smiled to myself though, it wouldn't be Len if he was any other way and if it were not for his insane competitive streak I probably wouldn't have honed my skills to the point that they were now.

"Technically you only got fourteen. Did you already forget that about a hundred Palbei just dropped down dead before us, of their own cause? I assure you it had nothing to do with you wielding that two foot bit of Vamp steel that you're ever so fond of. And technically if we did the math, fifty two of my guys may have died but only thirty six of them died of natural cause so technically I killed sixteen. And a little bit of first grade math would remind you that sixteen is greater than fourteen baby brother."

I smirked as the bottle of Danahagh floated closer to me but before I could tip it over a book flew in front of it blocking its way to the glass. I narrowed my eyes at Len's booming laugh at thwarting me but he shut up when I sent the book flying at his head and grabbed the bottle manually, pouring a generous bit of it into my glass as Len dodged the book two more times before muttering the counter curse.

All the while the Old Man smiled genially at us, I could see the sun peeking out from behind him through the grand window, it was a sight for sore eyes considering the weather we experienced for the past month in Switzerland."Remus says that it was quite a scene."

I sipped my whiskey and stopped the childish fight; Len retaliated by gulping down the contents straight from the bottle. Someone is going to have a fifty watt hang over when he wakes up later.

I nodded at the Old Man's statement, staring out the window as the images of last night flashed before me. After months of searching and spying we had finally found the location of Karetnikov's next breeding ground. Unfortunately it turned into an ambush; there was about a hundred Palbei there when we breeched the walls, practically a whole army. I clutched the glass tighter, if it had not been for luck, surely Len, Remus and I would be dead and the Old Man would be drinking for completely different reasons.

"He wasn't in a very chatty mood. You can understand his hurry." He smiled at me with teeth too perfect for one his age, as he referenced Remus' eagerness to visit Tonks, as conflicted as he was about their whole situation, there's nothing like an adrenaline rush to dull your inhibitions and he surely was off to Hogsmead once he reported back to the Old Man.

Len and I had stayed behind to gather intel from the corpses that Karetnikov had left behind without a second thought, her jade eyes glowing with rage at being thwarted, Atticus practically had to apparate her out of there. It didn't help her situation that the fight had destroyed her breeding grounds and therefore disrupted whatever rituals she used to make the damn things.

All we knew that the ritual encompassed the organism in its primary form be it human, vampire or werewolf to remain in a vat of potion that we managed to get a sample of so Severus can take a look at it. She had about twenty subjects undergoing the transformation, from the corpses we could tell they were vampires but we could already see the physical structure of a werewolf taking shape in them, although immortal Vampires were not made to fight physically, they had slow reflexes and in their swordplay the weapon did most of the work. She obviously was confident that she would win this battle has she didn't take precautions to relocate the intended Palbei and that same ego set her back months of plotting and planning, for it was one thing transforming a vampire, it was another thing getting them to sign on in the endeavour.

"We checked the bodies of the Garou, mid fight the lot of them started screaming in agony, a few even impaled themselves to cease the pain. We thought they were transforming which made no sense has it wasn't the full moon. After a good solid minute of screaming, they fell to the floor. Dead. When we observed the bodies every single bone was broken, some in such a way that the splinters jutted out of the skin itself."

The Old Man nodded his head in thought, "And the Lamiae?"

Len and I exchanged looks, "Nothing but dust left behind. Erupted into flames and then...nothing."

"Well, except a good few swords that might come in handy. Plus a few red cloaks that I nicked which would surely piss off Kat the next time we see the bitch."

I shook my head as Len laughed; only he would have thought of something like that in the face of a hundred corpses. "So you were right." I told the Old Man, "There must have been payment in some form for Vampires to wield magic and Werewolves to gain steel hides, magic must have a balance and she sought it out tonight. Karetnikov's version of immortal slaves was just a dreamlike notion, temporary perfection. She never managed to copy her father, to surpass him..." I smirked at the memory at her furious face, if there was woman who deserved to die it was Katerina Karetnikov yet at the same time if there was a woman who mastered eluding death it was Katerina Karetnikov.

"Well we must not be complacent." He added, "The Palbei Katerina creates may come with an expiry date but they wreak enough havoc whilst they exist, for whatever many years they do. Even if this batch has fallen, Katerina will make more, their impending deaths no matter how painful they maybe will give her no qualms. But alas," He smiled, "Thoughts such as that is for another morning. This morning is for celebration. You boys have indeed made me very proud."

I swallowed, glancing away from the watery blue eyes, the Old Man and I have come a long way since my aggrieved feelings toward him. I didn't forget that it was him that saved Agnes from the Death Eater attack last Christmas...I glanced at his left hand and my own squeezed my chair...

I heard the soft swish of leather as it glided onto Len's shoulders as he shrugged on his jacket. "I promised Davies that I would give him a first person account of tonight's adventures, best I get to that."

I sighed as he winked in farewell, shaking my head as I watched my brother walk towards the fireplace. Speak to Davies my arse. As he walked further away the scent of Le Beau Male grew fainter, if he was arming himself with Gaultier's best scent to date he was going to visit Tatiana McEvoy. I shook my head, only Len would be dysfunctional enough that one could tell which conquest he was visiting by the scent he layered himself in.

"It seems Mr Davies is a very lucky man, Remus was in quite a hurry to see him as well." I smirked, and sipped the whiskey, scratching at my chin as the growing hair agitated my skin. It's strange when you're up against the wall, all those little things don't matter. Hygiene and etiquette and cologne, and suddenly it all comes crashing down on you. Awareness. I glanced at my reflection in the window, I looked like shit. "Linus, I would understand if you too wanted to go see Mr Davies."

I frowned at the Old Man's suggestive look, "What?"

He raised a brow and it seemed that the lack of sleep was catching up with me and I straightened up. Agnes. He was talking about me going to see Agnes. I glanced at Fawkes, fast asleep in his stand and I glanced away again.

"I was thinking, since I'm around, I might as well say hi to Ky."

His blue eyes bore into my own and I glanced out the window, the sun was barely up, if I had any notion of seeing Ky, I know that it won't be soon. I doubt Ky even knew what this time of the day looked like.

"Linus."

I glanced away from the swirls of gold in his scarlet robes, Agnes had bought him those robes for Christmas. She had bought matching pairs for Len, myself and Ky. Back when she thought we would be spending Christmas together. I glanced back at Fawkes, peacefully asleep; I knew that tone of voice too well and knew what must come after it. I licked my lips; it was a strange notion, being on the other end of a lecture. So often I had to be the hand of discipline, the voice of reason.

The urge to flee left me and I sunk lower in my chair, there was an odd sense of comfort at not having to think. Of just sitting here and having to listen, I turned back to the long silver beard, all resistance gone.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?"

I nodded and I looked down to see the smooth brown hue smiling up at me. I wondered how he knew to make the coffee just how I liked it, I wonder how he knew that I liked it in a mug and not a cup.

"I suppose this is about what you overheard at Baron's funeral."

I spoke to my blue mug. The memory of him walking in whilst Agnes and I had been arguing at the Wake Minerva had held for Baron, she was grief stricken over Baron and I didn't blame her considering the circumstances of his death and I'm pretty sure it was that time of the month for her, she was a bag of emotions, especially considering the latter part... she was definitely bitter about that fact.

Of all the arguments for one's grandfather to walk in on, one about the lack of your ability to impregnate your wife is definitely one of the more awkward ones. Well it wasn't a lack of ability really. It was more a...lack of initiative.

"Linus, son," I looked up at him, warmed by the term in a way that I would never ever admit aloud "Differing opinions should not be a cause for embarrassment on your part. Be happy you have someone who loves you so fiercely that she craves a part of you to be nurtured within her, I understand that logically this is not the best of times for such things, but if there is anything that I have learnt on my considerable time on this Earth, is that logic has no place in the matters of the heart."

I shook my head, "It's not about the timing." God I loved Agnes, I loved her more than I loved myself. I wanted to make her happy, especially considering that I had plunged her into a war she had no right to be a part of but somehow the situation had made her a soldier. A warrior. Fuck, if there was any woman who deserved the world and all its wonders it would be my Agnes.

"If not the timing Linus, then what? I know I can barely speak from experience, considering I've never truly experienced the role, yet you my dear boy, have been a father for the better part of your life. This is merely a genetic definition of the role you served to both your brother and sister."

Genetic definition? I gulped down some coffee. Genetics...

"You know, you're a far better man than I Linus." I looked back up at the Old Man and cringed at the pain that seemed to radiate from his very soul, "I was very much in the same situation as you were when I was much older than your twelve years, I was seventeen and very much a man when-"

"I know." I had always known, ever since that first Summer, I had dug deep enough to find out about Aberforth and Ariana... about Grindelwald... Len knew as well, but we decided against telling Ky. That happened a good century ago, barely relevant now.

Plus considering my own circumstances, I could barely blame him, and if I was completely honest I didn't want to bring all that up out of fear that she would begin to ask questions... plus I had some doubt in the true nature of his and this Grindelwald's relationship... not that I had a problem with it, homophobia was thankfully not one of the illness of the mind that I was riddled with. It would be much harder to explain to a then fourteen year old Ky that her grandfather's love for her grandmother was probably completely platonic, their intimacy probably an experiment on his part and probably majority of the reason why he never ran after her in the first place was that he didn't feel for her romantically, something he must have experienced the following Summer when he met Grindelwand and learned firsthand what true love is. He was just seventeen, barely a man, not even in my most bitter state would I hold him to the mistakes he made when he knew no better.

"I see. I thank you for not informing Kyrianna about such things. I fear she places me on a pedestal I would never be worthy of, yet I fear being knocked off more than I care to admit."

"Ky doesn't need to know that." I straightened in my chair, "That's all in the past. Best leave it there."

He nodded, slowly, taking me in with his thoughtful blue eyes, "I think we take too much control of the limitations of Kyrianna's knowledge. I do intend to inform her, it has very little to do with the contents of the story, and more the act of relaying the information to her whilst I still am able to. So I disagree Linus, Kyrianna does need to know."

"While you're still able?" I looked back down at the mug at that statement, and the memory of seeing the ghost of his left hand for the first time came to my mind, I knew it then like I knew it now..."You're... you're dying?"

"Aren't we all?"

He smiled but I never returned it... my deepest fear was confirmed and I stood, walking mindlessly, it must have been a dark curse. It had something to do with that fucking ring, why did he ever wear it? Why! He is supposed to be the smartest wizard of the fucking century or something and he goes and puts a ring that he knew was possibly once Voldemort's on his hand. Really, what the fuck was he thinking? I wiped my cheek with the front of my shoulder, grateful that my back was to the invasive blue eyes.

"It was a horcrux. Like I suspected. Harry retrieved the memory from Horace. We think he has made seven, I have a strong suspicion one is in a cave near the-"

"There's nothing to be done of it? Are you sure?"

I turned away from the wall of portraits on the tenth second of silence; he nodded his head in affirmation as our eyes met, a smile crossing his lips. How the fuck can he smile? He stood, making his way towards me,

"I'm luckier than you know Linus, it could have been much worse."

"Just as it could have been that much better, you should have known better than to touch that damnable object."

"And yet so often in life I find myself knowing better but never acting as such. You place too much reverence on this old fool Linus, it seems that's another genetic trait of yours that your sister seems to have garnered as well."

I looked to the ceiling in frustration, seven hells, was he not telling me of his impending death, does that not deserve a conversation! I already feel him wandering away from the topic, "You must tell Ky."

"I will... I wait for after her birthday to inform her of everything. Let her at least enjoy her day without such dark thoughts plaguing her." I looked down; he was staring at the desk with such dejection I had never seen on the man's face before.

"You're procrastinating."

"Yes." He nodded at the smooth wood finish, "I am. Just as you are."

"What?" The question was a whisper of nerves.

"Why do you not want to bestow dear Agnes with the blessing that is a child?" He looked up at me and midnight blue met midnight blue and I held it. And slowly I let it go. I let them down... all the barriers... I let him in...

The reflection of my twelve year old self's look of confusion stained the mirror that lay across the entrance hall, if you can call the small space in front of the door something as grand as that. I looked right, into the empty lounge, left into the empty kitchen, all void of Ky. For the past two years, Ky always greeted me at the front door like a puppy awaiting their person...where was she?

And then I heard it...

Whimpering.

The first three steps were slow... unsure... the whimpering grew and the remainder was a steady blur that hummed beneath my feet.

I didn't touch the door and it opened, it banged off the wall but I entered before it again shut in my face.

"DAD!"

The hulking man never turned, he never straightened up, I could still hear his whimpering, I was no stranger to the sound of his tears, especially when he thought me asleep.

"DAD!"

My second shout went just as unheard as the first, his hands steady on the pillow... the pillow steady on the small body beneath it... I did not shout again... I knew shouting would not get me what I wanted... I raised my hands...

I fell against the mantelpiece, my breathing ragged... I'd not shown that memory to a soul... not a soul in fourteen years... my hands were shaking as the floodgates opened on every thought... every emotion I had trained myself to block out...

I didn't dare look up at his eyes... knowing that he would see me for what I am... something cold trickled down my cheek but I didn't stem it, I didn't stop, I lowered myself to the floor... I could feel the burning flames of the fireplace at my back but the close heat did not discourage me as I wrapped my hands around my head.

I lied to Len. Like I lied to the ambulance that I phoned not five minutes after. I lied to Ky... I lied to Agnes... I lied to every soul that asked how my father died... aneurism...

I felt something brush my shoulder and my painfully wide eyes turned to the man that sat next to me, I didn't look at his eyes... I didn't want to see the disgust... to see me for what I truly was... a murderer

"He was... he was going to kill her... I had to...I had no other choice. I just wanted him to leave her... I... I..."

"You are no murderer! You did what you did to protect your sister. Your family."

"He was my father-"

"That man was no father Linus for a father would never do such a thing to a child."

"He wasn't always like that." I shook my head, staring at the table legs as the memories flooded through me, for some reason I needed to defend the man. "Before mum died he was the best. I don't know what happened... after she went, his sanity went with. He... he never did a thing for Ky. He never carried her. Fed her. Changed her. At first I thought it grief but three years is a long time to grieve. It was almost like he refused to accept her existence and I was fine with that. I carried her. I fed her. I changed her. But never in a million years did I ever think that he would put his hands on her... the man who starred in so many of my happy memories turned a monster right in front of me..."

"Is this why you are afraid? Linus, your father was a grief stricken widower, he wasn't the man who raised you, he was a heart broken shadow of that, you are not your father Linus."

The tremble left my voice as I stared at my grandfather as I shook my head stubbornly, he needed to understand now that this was finally out. He needed to see me for what I truly was and hate me for it. I deserved it.

"Mother's death was not what changed him... it was Gran's." I swallowed thickly, "They were shouting so much, fighting, they were always fighting, I don't remember ever hearing my father even raise his voice before Gran died, arguing, always arguing."

The memory of the night that everything changed came to my mind and I closed my eyes at the painful reminder, "Len was crying and hiding under his bed. I heard it then. The last straw. It was almost as if that very sound made a man out of me. I pulled the door open and I saw it... he was shouting, so angry, saying that he didn't want the baby... it made no sense."

I shook my head, "He had been the one most happy when they found out, I remember, I remember. He laughed and pulled her to him, carried her and swung her about... that night he had done the opposite. I don't think he meant to. It wasn't just his personality that changed after Gran died, magic... we had regained our magical ability, unbound by her death and he was angry... angry and the magic just happened... I watched as he did not touch her yet her body flew through the dark night until she hit the banister, I remember how she rolled... I remember how she clutched her tummy as if her little hands could prevent the damage... I remember how he screamed... he cried... paced outside the bedroom door..."

I looked at the Old Man, tears in his eyes whilst mine long since broke free, "I remember her. Tiny as can be and wailing, red faced and shrieking, giving the midwife a hassle from the time she entered the world... and he walked straight passed her, not a glance, into the room where his wife... someone had to take the baby and I didn't even know how to carry one. Her head lolled back and the nurse scolded that I should support the neck as if that's something they teach you in the sixth grade. And then came the howling. I'll never forget the howls of pain. He didn't leave the room that night but somehow I knew she was gone. I remember looking at Ky and seeing the last bit of my mother on this earth... and then she was gone too. They took her away, to the hospital. She was gone for about a week until I sought up the courage to ask my father about her. You know what he said?"

I raised my brows, barely registering the Old Man's face in my emotional fatigue... "'What baby?' In actual fact I think that's when he truly died in my eyes. I remember running to the hospital, I remember sneaking in and taking her in her little pink blanket. The nurse saw me but then she didn't... she looked as if she just remembered she had something else to do in another room and she was gone. When I walked in with her I remember trembling, expecting some act of resistance from the stranger that sat in my father's armchair... I received nothing but a deadened look. My whole world fell apart at that. And then," My cheeks cracked as the smile broke out, "I felt it. The softest most fragile little things curl around my thumb, they were so tiny I didn't even know if you could call it fingers. And just like that the pieces flew back into place as I stared at her trusting wide grey eyes..." I clutched my stomach, feeling sick.

"And have you failed her yet Linus? I have met many people along my life's journey, I have been properly blessed in meeting some of the world's most incredible people, and I can count on these hands the number of people I encountered that left me amazed at the very beauty of their souls. Kyrianna is one of them. And I say that not as her grandfather, but as her headmaster who has observed her for these past three years. Although she has her moments," He smiled affectionately, "It does nothing to detract from the beauty that is her, if anything her little nuances add to the enigma that is our little drama queen. You are her Linus, and she is you." He clutched my shoulder as if physically wanting his words to sink through me.

"Another privilege Linus, is having met you. The day you three walked into my office I couldn't help but smile at the irony that life can be. You may have heard the coarse facts of what happened to Ariana, the details from a Ministry report most likely, but you probably don't know the other details." The look of self depreciation and regret on his face was so potent I think in that moment, the Old Man and I never looked more alike.

"After my mother died I was forced to stay home, look after Aberforth and Ariana and defer the Grand Trip that most young wizards do, voyaging across the world and experiencing magic in all its exotic forms. I, unlike you, did not rise to the occassion. I was bitter. Angry. Resentful. I was more than some caretaker, I had more potential, I deserved more, craved more. And... I let her fall through the cracks... her and Aberforth, because Ariana was not the only person in my care. More than once I wished to pack my bags and just leave... go... Gellert very much advocated that. Not that I blame him, he did not corrupt me, the corruption was always there, my true self was shown in the most adverse of situations and I found a bitter, immature, selfish fool in its place. You on the other hand, my beautiful boy, found a man in its place. Loving, caring, strong... a pillar to the pitfall that I was."

"There were times that I wanted to run as well-"

His hands moved from my shoulder and I felt the wizened texture on my face as he turned me to him, boring into my eyes in his need to comfort me with words and I didn't feel awkward at the intimate act. In this moment in time, in front of this fireplace and atop of this carpet, I was twelve, and he was the help I always wanted. Cried for at times.

"Fleeting moments surely. You wore the title of guardian like a crown, I wore it like shackles, and that my boy has made all the difference in the world."

"What if... what if I break?" All my worries blurted forward, there was nothing left to hide, "What if that binding magic Gran did on me for the first eleven years of my life takes affect now... that magic is unnatural, wrong... father, his father and his father, none of them lived past thirty five. All tragic endings... magic must have a balance, everything has a consequence. What if he regained his magic in place of his sanity? What if I hurt them?"

"You won't Linus. You are so much more... SO much more than I, so much more than your father... Linus, you're more than just a great wizard, you are a good person. Do not deprive your life of love just because of the mistakes of your predecessor; you've already proven by raising Kyrianna and Lenzo with such love and devotion that History need not repeat itself."

The room elapsed into silence as his words sunk in and I slowly lifted my shoulders up, it was as if his words itself massaged the stress out of my neck. We didn't move, even though the fire behind us brought no comfort in its proximity, somehow, a childish part of me that rarely raised its head, thrived in this rare act at having been on the receiving end of a pep talk. The Old Man, as usual, not only rose to the occasion but made me battle down most of my fears. I wiped my face, now slightly embarrassed at my tears.

"You think you're ready to become a great great great great grandfather then." I laughed awkwardly.

He smiled, his wizened face bright despite the nature of our conversation, "I believe the real question is, is Kyrianna ready to be an aunt?"

I laughed but it trailed of quickly as it reality hit me.

"I'm going to have to tell her... aren't I? I made her think at a young age that I'm not ready to talk about mum. About Father. I burnt all his pictures thinking that it would prevent her asking... as if a lack of reminder would make her just forget the natural order of how she came about... as if it was always just her, Len and I... she stopped bringing it up after the third time I deflected her question, but something makes me think that she's just been waiting, biding her time until I agree to her maturity. She'll be off age in a matter of weeks... what do I tell her?"

"You tell her the truth Linus. Tell her of a mother who loved her more than life itself, and of a father who... lost his heart with his wife... who was unnatural in his indifference in her because loving her is what is natural. And the fact that so many have is proof that the problem never lied with her. And then hopefully you give her some very good news at the end to lighten the load."

He laughed and I joined in catching on the hint, finally raising to my feet and turning to him, seriousness filling my laugh lines, "You'll be there right? When I tell them... I think I need you to be there."

"Linus my boy, I will always be there." His half moon spectacles glinted in the sunlight that now flooded the room and I had the fierce urge to hug him. To embrace this man... I know I was hard on him in the beginning, a child's anger, but somewhere between the personal tuition, private conversations, protector of my loved one's and shoulder to lean on... I loved this man like a father. I took a step forward but stopped as the doors banged open.

"Linus!"I cleared my throat and hoped to the heaven's that my face was dry as Ky came storming in and I turned to her, scooping her up in my arms and holding her to my chest. His twinkling blue eyes found mine and he nodded as if hearing my unspoken words.

She pulled of me, rattling at top speed about Len and when did I get back and when am I leaving, I leaned down and pecked her cheek, the familiar action ceasing her mumbling and her stormy grey eyes narrowed, as if seeing something in me that she hadn't before.

"Linus? Are you OK?"

"Better than ever Principessa." I ruffled her hair and turned to the fireplace, "I'm sorry to have to leave like this, but I promised Davies I would give him a firsthand account of tonight's events." I smiled knowingly at the Old Man and he returned it with glee.

Before Ky could pout up at me I threw the floo powder in and crossed the threshold. Turning as I announced my destination feeling lighter than I did in a long time as the green flames flickered at the image of the Old Man and Ky... Seeing only a father and daughter in their place...

A/N: Please let me know what you think, we see Linus through Ky's eyes so often we don't really get to see the real him. Reviews?

Kalina