Disclaimer: Not mine. Still. Darn it.

A/N: So I've been gone. We all knew this. Well the upside to this is now I've gone random. The next few chapters of this story are going to be excessively random and silly just because I can and the whole point of this story is to make my Becca laugh. If you don't like it then don't read it.

Grocery Shopping the Luna Way

"We need food." Sherlock announced as they left the castle far behind them and headed back to London.

Much to his surprise Luna's strange looking patronus sped off and Harry groaned. "Grocery shopping? Really?"

"Yes!" Luna danced in place. "I've already messaged my cousin. We'll have fun. We've enough people for three teams now."

"Teams?" Sherlock asked warily.

"You'll love it," Luna exclaimed. "You and John can be one team. Flynn Carson and Draco can be another and Harry and me are the last. Though we'll win. We always do."

Sherlock gave her a dumbfounded look. Harry facepalmed with a groan. Flynn and John both just stared at her in confusion. "Win what, Luna?" Sherlock finally asked.

Luna ignored him. "You must make a list, John Watson," she instructed earnestly. "Then Harrymine will copy it twice and then you will give one list to Harrymine and one to Flynn Carson." She turned to the befuddled tall blonde man. "I'm terribly sorry if you wanted to battle but Draco will insist on you driving. I hope you don't mind."

"Driving?" Flynn asked. "I haven't got a license for England…or Scotland I guess." He ran an agitated hand through his hair. "And who's Draco anyway?"

"My cousin, silly," Luna laughed her light laugh. "And we'll be in London. There's a Tesco's a few blocks from Sherlock and John's flat. We should stop by the flat first so that John can write out his grocery list for us." She nodded her head decisively, grabbed John's hand and disappeared with a pop.

Flynn swung around in a circle, his brown eyes wide and shocked. "Where'd they go? She can't just disappear both of them like that can she?" He swung around one last time and then faced Harry. "That is. So. Cool! Can you do it too?"

Harry gave him a strained grin. "You don't have to come, Mr. Carson. Shopping with Luna is an…experience."

"No, no. I'd love to come," the blond man hurried to assure him. "Just what should I do with this?" He held the stone out to Harry.

Harry eyed it in dislike and then sighed and took it. "I'll hold it until we're done," he offered grudgingly. Then he brightened and glanced at Sherlock. "Unless John will let us use the safe where he keeps his gun?"

Sherlock shrugged disinterestedly. "He probably will. Just don't try to take the gun out. He gets tetchy when people touch his gun. He's not supposed to have it after all. How did you even know he still had it?"

Green eyes grinned at him. "He's John. Easy deduction. There's no way a soldier of his distinction is going to give up his weapon easily. And you have bullet holes in your wall." Harry grabbed Flynn's elbow and held out his hand for Sherlock to take. "Shall we? There's no telling what Luna's doing to John without us to stop her."

Sherlock grimaced but took Harry's hand in his own. "She's most likely only breaking his brain again."

"Breaking his brain?" Flynn asked warily. "What do you mean?"

Harry only grinned, centered himself and apparated with his passengers. He felt Flynn's elbow tense and Sherlock grip his hand tightly and nearly snickered. First time apparaters were always amusing and Sherlock's natural curiosity would make him sick if he kept his eyes open every time.

"All right there, Carson?" Harry asked in amusement as the other man stumbled upon landing in Sherlock and John's parlour. "Apparating can be a bit disorientating if you're not used to it."

"I'm fine," Flynn squeaked out. He cleared his throat while staring around the room. "I'm fine," he said again.

Sherlock snorted. "Harry likes surprising people with his apparations. He finds it amusing when we become dizzy and nauseas."

"That's not very nice," Flynn said quietly.

"Yes, well, Harry's not a very nice man." Sherlock returned. "Well, he is," he reconsidered. "But he's also wickedly evil when the mood strikes him."

"I aim to please," Harry muttered as he spun around in a circle looking for the lost duo of John and Luna. "LUNA!" He finally called to her after not seeing her anywhere in evidence. "Where are you?"

There was the clatter of footsteps on the stairs leading to the top floor and then a red faced John appeared. "Sorry, Harry," John mumbled. "She apparated us to my bedroom."

Harry waved his apology off as Luna floated down the stairs behind the older blond. "Luna," he said quietly. "You know better."

Luna only laughed a light and airy laugh. "Meet you at the Tesco's," she smiled and popped out.

"You have the list don't you, John?" Harry asked on the end of a sigh as he shook his head at his wife's antics.

"Yes, of course," John nodded. "Why did I write out a list of what we needed?"

"Did you put hydrochloric acid on it?" Sherlock asked. "I'm out of hydrochloric acid and peroxide as well as sodium polystyrene sulfonate."

"Sodium polystyrene sulfonate?" Flynn asked in a worried tone. "Isn't that the stuff they use for enemas?"

"Why yes, Mr. Carson, it is in fact the compound used in some enemas. Problem?" Sherlock tried and failed to sound innocent and casual.

Flynn took a step backwards, away from Sherlock. "I don't…uh…don't want to know why you want that, do I?"

Harry gave him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. "It's probably best not to ask." He turned to John. "May I lock the stone up in your gun safe?"

"Yes, of course," John replied immediately. He held his hand out for the stone. "I don't want Sherlock to know where I've hidden it though."

Harry nodded and followed John up the stairs while Sherlock scowled at their backs.

"So…um, this shopping thing," Flynn started. "What exactly does it entail, Mr. Holmes? I don't really quite understand why it would take six of us to do the grocery shopping."

Sherlock looked over at him with his eerie grayish blue eyes and blinked. "Neither do I, Mr. Carson, neither do I."

Harry, overhearing both question and comment and he and John came back down the stairs, snorted in amusement. "You'll see when we get there, promise. It'll be fun…I think."

Sherlock swung that raptor gaze to the emerald eyed, dark haired young man. "Fun?" He whipped out. "How is shopping fun?"

Harry chuckled and took Sherlock's elbow in his hand, he motioned for John to take the other one and then grabbed onto Flynn as well. "As I said, you'll see." And he apparated them out.

SH/JW HP/LL SH/JW HP/LL

Flynn swallowed hard as his feet found solid ground. Why had he agreed to this again? Why had he blithely followed along with these people when they'd left Scotland? It made no sense and yet he couldn't stop himself from trusting them.

"It's a good thing we know how you think, Scarhead, or you would have landed right on top of us," a sneering voice said from behind him. Flynn whirled around, startled and nearly fell backwards as his equilibrium was still off from the apparatition. A manicured hand shot out to catch him. "Careful, there," the blond man said quietly.

Flynn found himself drowning in slate gray eyes. "Th-thank you," he mumbled not understanding why he suddenly felt flustered.

The blond smiled and Flynn's breath caught in his throat. "Not a problem. Scarhead's apparatitions leave much to be desired, don't they?" His hand squeezed the bicep he was still holding.

"Draco," another cold voice interrupted. "Stop trying to aggravate Mr. Potter. And release the muggle before you cut off all circulation to his fingers."

The fingers slowly released him and Flynn blinked. "I'm f-fine," he stuttered out. His hand shot forward in an offer to shake. "Flynn Carson."

The blonde's smile grew and he gently took Flynn's fingers in his own. "Draco Malfoy, pleased to meet you, Mr. Carson."

For a moment the two held each other's eyes again and then the moment was interrupted by girlish giggling. Flynn and Draco tore their eyes away from each other and Draco glared at the two women giggling at them. Flynn simply turned his back on the blond and raised an eyebrow at the rest of the group.

"What?" He asked in an imitation of confidence. "He's pretty."

Harry, his dimples showing from his grin only shook his head while most of the others chuckled. "He is at that…even if Draco is a complete prat."

Draco sniffed haughtily. "Whatever, Scarhead. I take it Mr. Carson is my driver for the day?"

"Flynn," Flynn corrected. "Please. Uh…driver? I don't have a license for England."

"What do you mean driver?" Sherlock spat out. "I thought we were grocery shopping. Though I've no objections if we're going to be doing something else."

Luna strode to stand in the middle of the group and started conjuring metal helmets and what looked suspiciously like Nerf swords to Flynn. "Harrymine will explain the rules while I outfit the shoppers," she said seriously. Well, as serious as one could be while holding neon pink and blue swords and wearing a Roman helmet complete with a bright pink plume of feathers on the top.

"That's a galea, isn't it?" Flynn asked Luna.

She grinned. "Very good, FlynnCarson! It is. And Draco gets the Thor helmet and Aunt Cissy gets the Boadicea one and Sherlock gets to be a gladiator in a honeycomb like helmet."

"Here's the rules of the game," Harry said as Luna passed out the helmet and swords. "To win you must get through the check out with all items intact before anyone else. No hitting the drivers. Drivers must have contact with the trolley at all times. No magic on other people. No breaking the rest of the items on the shelves. Other than that…have fun."

"Which team is which?" Sherlock asked as he set the helmet over his head.

"You and John, Lucius and Narcissa, Draco and Flynn and me and Luna," Harry told him in a voice that told him that should have been obvious.

"Obvious," Sherlock sneered. "What do we do?"

Draco chose that moment to conjure four deep grocery trolleys and push them to their respective drivers. "Hop in and off we go." He grinned and jumped into the one he'd conjured for himself and donned his helmet before taking two of the pink swords from Luna and changing the color to a vibrant green.

Flynn shrugged and pushed the trolley from the alley and towards the Tesco's next to it. When in Rome and all that after all.