Disclaimer: Still not mine.

A/N: Yes, I know, random. If you don't like it then why are you still reading this story?

Grocery Shopping the Luna Way Part II

The other patrons of Tesco's watched in something akin to bemusement as the group of eight lined up just inside the doors. Each of the groups was split into pairs with one riding in the shopping trolley while the other pushed.

The first pair were both men, one of whom the employees recognized as the man that argued with the chip and pin machine nearly every time he shopped. That meant that the one in the cart with the strange helmet that covered his face with hexagonal netting was his flatmate. The man in the trolley had two bright pink Styrofoam swords in his hands and a determined set to his shoulders.

The second pair consisted of two men as well. The one pushing the trolley had light brown hair, tanned features and was wearing khaki pants tucked into hiking boots. The one riding in the trolley had his features obscured by a helmet with wings coming from the temples and sweeping back into sharp points. The swords he carried were a vibrant green.

The third pair was a man and a woman. The man carried himself as an aristocrat and his long white blond hair was tied back with a leather strap. The woman riding in the trolley wore a helmet with two long spikes spread in a V on the top. Her swords were a silvery color that seemed to shine with an inner light.

The last set was also a man and woman. The man had messy black hair and bright green eyes. The woman wore a pink feathered Roman helmet and carried another set of bright pink swords. The color of the swords matched the feathers on her helmet.

"Everyone ready?" The black haired man asked his companions. The others nodded silently. "No cheating now. You all know the rules. On the count of three. One."

"Wait," the brown haired man shouted. The others turned to look at him and he flushed a bit. "On three or after three? Cuz it's not the same thing at all, you know."

The green eyed man rolled his eyes. "Two."

The man in the trolley the brown haired man was pushing glared at the black haired man and then looked over his shoulder at his companion. "He says three you run, got it, Carson?"

Carson gave a shaky nod and then stared straight ahead into the store.

"Three," the black haired man yelled and with yells of their own the group of eight fled into the bowels of the store. The other patrons and employees stared after them in astonishment before shrugging at the insanity of others and going about their business.

HP/LL SH/JW LM/NM FC/DM

Lucius and Narcissa

Knowing it was totally undignified but not caring as the only people who could see him were family and Muggles Lucius sprinted into the depths of the store. He was rather perturbed that Harry had made that silly rule of his but so be it. He stopped abruptly in the middle of one of the aisles and looked around for the others. No one in sight. "What's on the list, Cissy dear?"

His wife's hand shot into the air with a folded scrap of paper clutched in it. "You hold it so you know what and where we need to go, Lucius." She instructed while eyeing both end of the aisle for her fellow shoppers.

"Yes, of course," he took the paper from her hands and read the scrawled list. "Milk, we'll get that last otherwise it'll spoil. Jam…yes, strawberry. I prefer strawberry, myself. Hmm, that first, dear."

"Excellent," Narcissa's helmet bobbed up and down as she nodded and Lucius drew his head back to avoid the spikes. "And we'll grab extra for ammunition. Don't forget to put an unbreakable charm on the jar this time."

Lucius frowned but assented. "Though I don't believe that's exactly sporting as John, Sherlock and Flynn are Muggles."

Narcissa turned her head to regard him over her shoulder. Lucius quickly took a step back to avoid the spikes again and barely kept his hand on the trolley. "And that bothers us how again?"

Lucius smirked at his wife. "Quite right, dear. It's hardly our fault they decided to be born Muggles, is it?"

Narcissa gifted him with a smile and turned to face front again as Lucius set off to find the jam.

Flynn and Draco

"What is it we're supposed to be doing and why am I here?" Flynn asked his companion quietly as he sped down an aisle after Harry Potter, HARRY POTTER! had said three.

Draco turned his head to look at the Muggle over his shoulder. "Because Luna said, Carson." He rolled his eyes. "My cousin is a force of nature and no one disagrees with her unless they want a headache."

Flynn eyed the gray eyed young man for a moment before nodding with a sigh. "So what am I supposed to be doing?"

Draco turned back around with a smug smile. "Everything I tell you too, Carson, everything I tell you. Now find the aisle with bread."

Flynn gave a long sigh again and then headed in the direction of the bakery. "You could call me Flynn, you know?"

"I could yes," Draco admitted. "And I would if I didn't know that you are going to cause us to lose! Go faster!"

Flynn sighed again. He seemed to being doing that a lot around this young man but picked up his pace.

Luna and Harry

"Hurry, Harrymine!" Luna called out as she leaned forward. "Find the lamb chops! We must get the lamb chops." She swung her pink sword over her head nearly smacking him in the jaw.

Harry pulled his head out of the way of the sword with practiced ease and laughed. "Lamb chops, Luna? John needs lamb chops?"

Luna's shoulders shrugged. "It's not on his list but he does," she insisted. "You're making us all lamb chops in mint and veggies tonight."

Harry laughed again. "Am I really?"

"Yes," Luna nodded decisively. "You are my husband and you are supposed to fulfill all of my wants and needs and tonight, I need lamb chops."

Harry grinned down at his wife's head. "Of course Lunalove, anything you want." He sped down the aisle to the meat section.

Sherlock and John

John ran down the aisle pushing the trolley fast enough that he could feel the breeze whipping his hair back. He loved to run. It didn't matter that he and Sherlock weren't chasing a murderer or a burglar or any other type of criminal at the moment he just loved to run.

Sherlock allowed a rare smile to cross his face as they raced down the aisle. He knew how much John liked to run and it pleased him that this game of Luna's allowed John the freedom to indulge himself. "Biscuits, John!" Sherlock shouted for the pure joy of knowing the wind would carry his voice to John's ears and make him run faster.

"I know," John called back. "I wrote the list!"

Sherlock's smile grew as John screeched around a corner without slowing and raced towards the biscuit aisle.

Lucius and Narcissa

Lucius was beginning to feel a bit uneasy. So far he and Narcissa had retrieved the jam and the bread and the chocolate chip biscuits and the tea. The only things left on the list were hydrogen peroxide, bandages, and milk. Through all of this they hadn't seen any of the others. He just knew his son at the very least was planning an ambush at the check-out. There could be no other explanation.

"Lucius?" Narcissa asked quietly. "Where are they all?"

"I've no idea," he answered. "But I do believe that it's time we got sneaky, don't you, dear?"

"Oh, yes," the pleasure in her voice was unmistakable. "Bandages next, I think and we can grab the peroxide at the same time."

"Brillant!" He gazed around the aisle they were on before grabbing three packets of marshmallows and setting them in the child seat. "But first…" He waved his wand and the packets burst open as the marshmallows inside grew until the seat looked as though it was a cloud. "Ammunition for me."

Narcissa couldn't contain her giggle. She knew very well how accurate her husband's throwing skills were and she also knew that those giant marshmallows would stick like burrs.

Flynn and Draco

"Where is everyone?" Draco wondered out loud. They only had two things left on the list: the peroxide and the bandages. "We haven't seen them at all."

Flynn tossed the jar of strawberry jam to his companion and shrugged. "That's a good thing though isn't it?"

"No," Draco barked. "If we don't know where they are then we can't prepare for an attack."

Flynn snorted softly. "It's grocery shopping, Draco, not life or death. It's not like the fate of the world is in our hands. What happens if they attack us, not that they will? It's a race."

Draco turned around until he was kneeling in the trolley and glared at the older man. "You know nothing about this game, do you?" He huffed and turned back around. "They'll attack us. It's part of the game. We have to get the groceries through the check-out before anyone else and they can try to stop us. And they will."

"Ok," Flynn said in a disbelieving tone. "But why? Honestly, like I said it's not like we're fighting for the rights to rule the world."

Draco snorted this time. "Harry already did that. No this is because it's fun. Now hurry up! We've only got the pharmacy left."

Harry and Luna

Luna giggled like a mad woman as she tied the fifth tube of toothpaste to her trolley. "This is going to be good."

"Lunalove," Harry started hesitantly. "Are you sure this is a good idea? We're finished. All we have to do is check-out. Why are we ambushing the others? And how do you know they haven't already finished in the pharmacy?"

Luna giggled again. "Yes. Because it'll be fun. And lastly, I don't but I suspect that the others haven't made it this far yet."

Harry shook his head and tightened his grip on the trolley. Luna's plan was going to make a huge mess and he wanted to be ready to flee.

John and Sherlock

"Hurry, John!" Sherlock called. "We've only got the pharmacy left! We're going to win!"

Contrary to his flatmate's urging John slowed down at the end of the aisle and turned the cart around. "Shh! Sherlock, be quiet while I check out the terrain."

"Brilliant idea, John," Sherlock complimented quietly. "You truly are a genius sometimes."

John flushed at his best friend's words and was grateful that Sherlock's back was to him at the moment so he wouldn't see. He cautiously poked his head around the stack of boxed at the end of the aisle, gasped when he saw two other heads doing the same thing and then whirled the trolley around and sped towards the pharmacy as fast as his feet would carry him.

Flynn and Draco

"Faster Carson! Faster! They're going to get there first! Faster! Hurry up! If you make me lose I'll make you pay Carson!" Draco screeched.

"If I go any faster it'll tip you over, Malfoy!" Flynn shot back irritated.

Lucius and Narcissa

"Just a little farther, Lucius, just a bit more. You can make it! C'mon, Lucius! Faster!" Narcissa cried.

Lucius' face screwed up in determination. He chanced a glance to each side. Carson and Watson were shoulder to shoulder with him. He pushed himself a little bit harder.

John and Sherlock

"John! John! They're gaining, John! Faster!" Sherlock yelled. He raised his Nerf swords and started to hit at Narcissa and Draco.

"I see them," John shouted back as he ducked one of the swords and grabbed a bottle of oil from the child seat of his trolley.

Everyone

What happened then could only have happened with the help of divine intervention. I don't mean the Christian God or Buddha or Allah or Zeus or Ra or Odin, by the way. I mean Loki.

Somewhere Loki must have been watching the proceedings of the eight mortals and decided that it was past time for him to become involved. I'm quite sure he laughed himself sick as his mischief magic helped the chaos that erupted.

As Flynn, Lucius and John high tailed it towards the pharmacy and Draco, Narcissa and Sherlock tried to beat each other to death with Styrofoam swords Harry positioned his and Luna's trolley in their path.

Draco ducked one of Narcissa's swipes and grabbed the soda cans he'd been shaking for the past few minutes. Carefully aiming he popped the top towards his mother.

Narcissa screeched in amusement and irritation when the sticky sweet drink blasted her in the chest. Lucius lobbed giant marshmallows at his opponents that stuck to the wheels of their trolleys and on their feet making it difficult to maneuver.

John, not to be outdone by Lucius' magic marshmallows or Draco's soda fountains, tossed his own secret weapon to the floor in front of their trolleys. The bottle of oil splattered on the ground just as the wheels of the trolleys entered its range.

Lucius and Flynn unable to stop their momentum skidded into the display of loo rolls at the end of the aisle right next to each other.

Chuckling at the sight of the four people buried in loo rolls John raced on. "Yes! Excellent throw John!" Sherlock cheered.

"Only the bandages and peroxide now," John panted. "But where's Har—argh!" John and Sherlock both cried out as they got faces full of toothpaste.

"Ha!" Luna laughed. "So much for being observant!" Her voice trailed off as Harry raced towards the check-out stands.

John leaned against the trolley laughing helplessly and wiping the toothpaste out of his eyes. "Oh for God's sake," Sherlock grumbled and pulled out his handkerchief. "I should have known."

"Don't feel bad," Draco said from behind them. "Potter always wins."

John got himself under control and stared around at the devastation. "We should probably be going," he mused. "Before security gets called."

Lucius looked around at the shocked faces of the Muggles. "That may be our wisest course of action," he agreed and helped a sopping Narcissa to her feet. "Let us be on our way."

"I think this now qualifies as the most ridiculous thing we've ever done," John told Sherlock as the group of six quickly made their way towards the exit.

"You're no doubt correct, John," Sherlock nodded. "How do you propose we avoid the security cameras?"

"Potter took care of that before we ever entered the shop," Lucius replied. "He is good with Muggle electronics."

"Anyone else hungry?" Luna asked them as they withdrew from the shop. "I'm starving and Harrymine's making lamb chops for dinner."

A chorus of "Starving" answered her and they all headed for John and Sherlock's flat and dinner.