Disclaimer: Right so…did any of you really expect anything to change in the status of ownership? Yeah me either. Still hope springs and all that.

A/N: If you're confused by this chapter go back and read Time Skip. Or just ask me in a review. Yeah, I like the second option. Promise I'll answer. Really. I was going to post this tomorrow before I went to church but it made me laugh so hard while I was writing it that I decided to cheer everyone else up as well. Let me know what you think of this bit of random silliness.

Molly and the Door

Summary: Molly Weasley visits Number 12 Grimmauld Place in order to invite Harry and Luna to dinner. She has a few problems with the door.

The matronly red-haired woman eyed the seemingly decrepit house in front of her with disfavor. Why couldn't that boy make the outside of his house look at the very least reputable? It really made no sense to her. She'd seen the inside and a more welcoming place was yet to be found. He'd done a very good job with the remodeling but the outside just ruined it all.

It was probably that girl's influence on him. She nodded to herself. Yes, that girl made Harry leave the outside of his home looking so awful. Probably wanted to discourage Nargles or something. That girl was having a horrible influence on her poor Harry.

She straightened her shoulders and marched determinedly up to the wooden door. She stopped with her hand raised as she glared at the door. That was new. It had been painted a pale purple color...lilac; yes that was the name of that color. When and why had Harry allowed that girl to paint his front door that awful color? What lunacy was this?

Scowling for a moment she took a deep breath and smoothed her face out into a smiling façade. She raised her fist again and banged on the door with quite a bit of force.

The door shivered and bowed away from her hand. "Ow! What'd you do that for? I've never done anything to you! Why'd you have to hit me? Don't you know it's not polite to hit things?"

Both her hand and her jaw dropped and her eyes widened as she stared at the door in shock. She'd lived in the Wizarding World her whole life but she'd never had a door scold her for knocking before.

"Oh! Owowowow!" The door moaned. "Just look! I'm bruised now!" The paint around where she had knocked was slowly darkening. "Ow!" The door sobbed and shook in its frame. "That really hurt, woman. Why? Why did you hit me?"

"I just…just wanted in," she stuttered and watched in astonishment as the paint darkened and then started to turn green and yellow and dark purple.

"That's what the doorbell is for, you idiot!" The door screamed in a high-pitched voice that echoed down the street.

She took a step back and barely caught herself on the railing of the stairs before she fell down the steps.

"Assault!" A new voice screamed. "Unhand me! Assault! Someone call the coppers. She's assaulting me and she's committed battery against Door! Help!"

The woman let go of the railing and covered her ears to escape the screams. The door was still sobbing and the railing was screaming for the police at the top of its nonexistent lungs.

This had to be that girl's fault as well! She fumed. Who had ever heard of charming doors and railings to scream like that? All she wanted to do was see Harry! Bracing herself for the screams and sobs she removed her hands from her ears and searched for the doorbell. Spying it she stepped towards it with a grim expression and finger pointed straight out.

The doorbell shivered and skittered away from her outstretched finger. "No! No! She's going to do me a violence! Help! Please, please don't hurt me," it begged. "Please, I have a low tolerance to pain. Leave me alone."

"That is quite enough," Molly Weasley bit out in a tone that never failed to bring her children in line with her wishes. "Come over here so that I may ring for someone to open the door."

There was silence in the street for a second and then the cacophony began again. Louder this time. The door wailed about its injury in screeching sobs. The railing went back to screaming for the police to come and the doorbell moaned the word "no" in an unceasing litany.

Molly covered her ears again and added her own primal scream of rage to the racket outside number 12 Grimmauld Place. This was absolutely intolerable. What had that boy been thinking to charm his entryway like this? "Harry Potter!" She screamed. "Harry James Potter! Get out here this instant!"

The sudden ringing silence had Molly removing her hands cautiously again. "Master won't come," the door told her in an injured tone. "He's busy."

"What do you mean he won't come?" Molly asked hotly. "He'd better come answer this door or we will be having words! Won't even answer the door to the nearest thing he has to a mother! Why I never!"

"Those seven children of yours make you a liar on the never part," the railing sniffed at her. "Master Harry is busy in a soundproofed room and won't come to the door because he can't hear you."

"Why on Earth…?" Molly drew in another deep breath. "I am now calm and I promise not to hurt any of you if you will just let me ring the doorbell to call someone to let me in."

The doorbell inched slowly back along the wall towards her. "You promise?" It asked quietly. "No hurting?"

"Yes of course, I promise," Molly smiled indulgently even though she felt like wringing someone's neck. Preferably that girl's. Really this was all her fault.

"I don't believe you!" The doorbell screamed and skittered farther away down the wall. "You're going to hurt me! I won't let you!"

The doorbell's terrified screams set off the railing and the door again and they both started screaming as well. Molly glared at all of them and covered her ears one more time. Harry was going to hear about this and she wasn't leaving until she saw him.

HP/LL SH/JW DM/FC

Winky peered at Mrs. Weasley through the door that she had charmed to be invisible to her only and smirked. That should teach the woman to think bad things about her Mistress Luna. Mistress Luna was perfect and perfect for Master Harry too. The weasel woman should stop being so nasty.

After a few more minutes of watching the weasel woman scramble around the stoop Winky nodded to herself and opened the door. "What is all this rackets?" She shouted. "Why is you all making such noises? Quiet down now."

"Finally!" Molly exploded. "Let me in and go tell Harry I'm here." She tried to push past Winky but the little elf stood her ground.

"Wait here," Winky commanded. "Winky get Master Harry." She started to shut the door again but it bucked in her hand.

"No," the door wailed. "Don't leave her here with us. Just look at what she did!" The so called bruise was suddenly highlighted and Winky frowned at Molly fiercely.

"Shh," the little elf soothed the door and ran a hand over the 'bruising'. "All better now," the paint faded back to the lilac color and the door sighed in relief. "Winky take her away. It okay, Door. Winky take scary lady to Master Harry."

"Thank you, Winky," the door sighed again and swung itself shut after Molly had passed over the threshold.

"Follow Winky," Winky commanded Molly in a hard voice. "And no hitting anything. Hitting is bad, Mistress Luna says so."

Molly huffed but followed the little elf down the hall. Harry would be getting a piece of her mind about this.